Chapter Twenty-Three #2
“Yes,” Lulu whimpered.
“Then why the fuck are you still touching yourself, cisne? That cock is mine.”
Like magic, Lulu’s hand fell from his length, dropping to the bed instead, where it curled around the sheets, twisting them into a knot in his hand.
Satisfied that Lulu would do as he was told, Xavi nearly sprinted into the bathroom, then tore through Lulu’s over-dimensional toiletry bag, eventually finding a small bottle of lube and a string of condoms in a side pocket.
Glimpsing himself in the mirror, Xavi’s eyes stared back at him, filled with lust and a wildness he’d never seen before.
He’d wanted and wanted and wanted all his life, but he’d never taken anything for himself.
His gaze dipped to the jagged scars running down his left shoulder, zigzagging across his chest. Lulu had kissed those scars.
He’d licked them. He had not been repulsed by them.
Sure, he’d been blindfolded, but Xavi realized now that it had been for his benefit and not for Lulu’s.
Lulu had always seen him, even through layers of clothes.
As much as Xavi had tried to hide from him, Lulu had always seen him and apparently wanted him.
Rubbing his thumb along the silvery packet, Xavi’s cock stirred, his balls resting heavily between his thighs.
There were so many reasons why this was a bad idea—the worst in the history of mankind, perhaps—but at the forefront of Xavi’s mind, there was one reason it needed to happen, and it wiped out all his doubts.
I love him. I will never not love him. He. Is. Mine.
With determined steps, Xavi strode toward the bed and sat down on the edge. Reaching for Lulu’s hand, untwisting it from the sheets, Xavi pressed the lube and a condom into Lulu’s hand, then wrapped his own hand around Lulu’s.
“Now you have my life, my future, and my heart in your hands, cisne. Do with them what you will. I am yours.”
Sitting up, Lulu’s lips were so close to his that Xavi could taste the words on his tongue when he spoke. “I will only ever do right by you, lover. I promise.” Nodding, Xavi leaned in and kissed Lulu’s forehead, the tip of his nose, and then finally his lips.
“Then show me. Show me what to do. Show me how to love you.”
A strange boldness grew inside him, and before Xavi realized what he was doing, his hands reached behind Lulu’s head.
Brushing along the carefully tied double knot, Xavi sucked in a breath.
He could do this. He wanted to. He’d thought there would be comfort in Lulu being blindfolded, and there had been—at first. But now it just felt…
wrong. Because if he was going to make love to Lulu, he wanted to look into his beautiful almond eyes when he did.
He wanted to see the fire burning in those eyes and how Lulu’s lashes would flutter with want when Xavi entered his body.
He wanted to drown in them while they slowly became one. One body, one heart, one soul.
He could tell Lulu was holding his breath as he slowly untied the knot.
“You don’t have to. Even though I’m blindfolded, I still see every part of you so clearly.”
“I know you do. But I want to see you, too. All of you. Your eyes, cisne.”
Lulu swayed in front of him, his cock stirring at Xavi’s words, precum oozing from the swollen tip.
Fuck, Lulu was so into him, and it spurred him on, words leaving Xavi’s body that he had no idea existed inside him, but had been brewing for so long.
“I want to see if they change color when I enter you, when I fuck you, and when you come on my cock.”
“Oh, shit.” Lulu sucked in a breath, then reached out, steadying himself against Xavi’s chest.
Lulu’s eyes remained closed for a few seconds after Xavi had removed the purple scarf and discarded it on the floor; his dark lashes fanned out against his golden-brown skin like luscious feathers.
Lulu’s eyebrows were pulled into a focused frown, like he was trying so unbelievably hard to hold himself together.
“Open your eyes, cisne.”
Digging his teeth into his bottom lip, Lulu slowly blinked his eyes open, vulnerability swimming in them, battling with lust and confusion.
Xavi smiled, suddenly shy and unsure. Lulu seemed to understand, because, with his eyes still locked onto Xavi’s, he said, “Get me ready, amor. Get me ready for you.” The ‘you’ was spoken so breathily, it was barely audible, but it was there, too, in Lulu’s eyes, reflected in the pools of brown. You.
Reaching for Xavi’s hand, Lulu turned it palms up, then dropped the small bottle of lube into it.
Then, leaning in, he kissed Xavi tenderly, starting on his Cupid’s bow, then moving to one corner of Xavi’s mouth, pressing kisses on the way, then back again, to the other side.
“I could kiss you all day,” Lulu murmured.
“It’s my second most favorite thing in the world. ”
“Yeah?”
“Yes.”
Xavi’s heart thundered in his chest as he closed his fist around the lube. “What’s your favorite?” he heard himself asking.
“Your fat cock inside my hole, tearing me apart until I don’t know where I end and you begin, oso.”
“Holy fuck.” Xavi’s balls drew up, Lulu’s dirty promise nearly tearing an orgasm from his body, untouched.
“Oh, there’ll be nothing holy about it.” A wicked gleam appeared in Lulu’s eyes, then he threw the condom on the sheets between them. “And then on a Sunday,” he smirked, drawing a small cross with his index finger across Xavi’s chest. “But it will be divine. I can promise you that, papi.” Fuck.
Scooting backward on his knees, Lulu dropped against the headrest, his thighs sliding open in silent invitation.
Sweat beaded across Xavi’s forehead, his hardness bordering on painful, sweet release lingering just beneath the surface.
Wrapping his arms around the back of his legs, Lulu spread himself open even wider, pulling his knees all the way to his chest. And now, Xavi was the one swaying, like frail straw blowing from side to side, as a wild wind caught it.
Pinning his thighs against his chest with one arm, Lulu moved his other hand down the back of his fleshy ass cheek.
Xavi held his breath as he watched Lulu’s fingers slide toward that exposed pink spot right in the center.
Everything seemed to happen in slow-motion, like Xavi was watching it happen through a haze of lust that slowed everything down.
His heart pounded in his ears, a deep, monotonous thrum.
When Lulu’s fingers reached his crease, he brushed them teasingly up and down, his eyes finding Xavi’s. Through hooded lids, Xavi saw the message loud and clear, before Lulu even spoke the words.
“Come here, lover.” Then Lulu’s index finger stopped right on top of his entrance, and he started circling it, tapping it, teasing it, as a low succession of filthy sounds left his lips.
“Shit, you drive me fucking wild, cisne,” Xavi rasped as he started moving toward Lulu.
Lulu beckoned him closer with his eyes. “I know. You drive me wild, too.”
Then, as if to show Xavi exactly how wild, Lulu tipped his head back, baring his slender swanlike neck, while he slowly dipped his finger inside his hole.
“Ahhh,” Lulu hissed, his Adam’s apple prominent behind his flushed skin.
“I want it to be your cock so badly, papi.” Holy shit.
Nearly tripping over himself, Xavi moved in front of Lulu, mesmerized by how Lulu was fucking himself with first one finger, then two.
Then the possessiveness returned. Those should be his fingers, scissoring Lulu open, feeling his warmth wrapped tightly around them.
With a harsh movement, he reached for Lulu’s wrist, then abruptly pulled Lulu’s fingers from his hole.
Lulu whimpered, then looked up at him, his eyes swimming with lust. His pink lips mirrored his pink entrance, slightly agape, his lips glistening.
Flicking the lid of the small bottle open, Xavi was about to pour some on his fingers when Lulu stopped him.
“No, not that hand.” Lulu’s fingers circled the wrist of Xavi’s broken hand. “I want you to fuck me with this one, oso.” A dull pain surged through Xavi as he regarded his destroyed hand, ugly scars where his fingers once were, the remaining three almost mocking him.
“I can’t.” Xavi’s chin dropped to his chest in defeat. “I can’t let something this…”—he held up his hand between them—“I can’t let something this ugly touch something that beautiful.”
Lulu frowned, pain appearing in his eyes.
Real hurt. Reaching for Xavi’s hand, he pulled it toward his lips, kissing the knuckles carefully.
Lulu’s eyes remained open, fixed on Xavi’s hand as he continued to adorn it with featherlight kisses.
He was worshipping Xavi’s hand. There was no other word for it.
Looking up at Xavi between his thick lashes, Lulu whispered, “I love this hand because I love the man it belongs to. I love you, Xavi.”
“I…” Suddenly, the world was spinning, but two firm hands were there to steady him, clasped firmly against his cheeks. “I…”
“I know.” Lulu’s forehead rested against his.
“I know.” Then cool liquid coated Xavi’s fingers, and he was pulled forward, Lulu leading the way onto the soft sheets.
Spreading his legs, Lulu invited him in, guiding his hand toward his most sacred place.
He was so soft, his Lulu, his skin so hot as Xavi slid his fingers inside him.
Lulu clenched around him, a silent sign that he was there, right beside him, and that he wanted him.