Chapter Four #3
Eyes wide, Callum and I both turn to see that the sash-wearing divorcee behind us is now awake and wagging a finger at us.
‘Seriously, just go and bang already, I’m sure it will clear the air.’
My mouth is agape and I daren’t even look at Callum, but from the corner of my vision I see him shrink back into his seat and snap his eyes shut.
‘Oh, we’re not …’ I begin, peering through the gap between our seats.
‘Sure,’ she says, looking anything but. ‘I’m Jennifer, by the way.’
‘Nina.’
‘Nice to meet you, Nana.’
‘Oh no, it’s Nina,’ I correct.
‘So, Nana, if you’re not banging then what’s happening there?’ She motions between Callum and me. I watch as Callum slips his earphones back in and sinks further down his seat, the coward! I guess I’ll be chatting with Jennifer, then. At least she seems like a nice human being.
‘Oh, just colleagues.’ I say.
‘That’s not the vibe I got. Although I’m probably not the best judge, given that I’ve just got divorced.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I say.
‘Don’t be!’ she laughs. ‘Honestly the best thing I could have done. My ex-husband was the worst. Not when we first met, but somewhere along the way he became this totally boring cliché. He got into golf, for God’s sake!
Hours and hours on the course, hitting a ball with a stick.
And to make matters infinitely worse, golf is all he wanted to talk about.
Our holidays were at golf resorts. A Rory McIlroy-signed golf ball took pride of place in our hallway, in front of the family photos.
Do you have any idea how infinitely boring golf is, Nana? ’
‘Not really. I can’t say I’ve watched much.’
‘Don’t.’
I nod through the gap.
‘Anyway, he’s gone and I am thrilled. That’s why me and the girls are off to Australia to celebrate. I will be spending my divorce money on beautiful hotels and the best champagne and absolutely zero golf chat.’
‘In that case, congratulations! I have it on good authority that the Australian men are extremely sexy in a hairy way?’
‘Yes,’ she purrs. ‘Mind you, you’ve got your hands full with that tall drink of water next to you.’
I glance at Callum, who is staring determinedly at his screen.
‘Like I said, we’re not … Actually, Jennifer, the weirdest thing has happened to me today.’
‘Oh?’ She leans in.
‘My one that got away is on this flight,’ I blurt out. Apparently, having harboured this information for hours by myself now, I simply cannot hold on to it any longer. I’m like a kettle about to boil.
‘No!’
‘I know!’ I say excitedly.
‘Tell me everything,’ says Jennifer.
‘Okay!’ I practically squeak, thrilled that the gates have opened.
I run through the exciting events of the day, the fact that my first and only true love has come back into my life after a decade.
The fact that he’s on this very plane which is surely a sign from the gods that we should get back together.
I run through our meet-cute and how nobody has ever compared to Hamish.
‘We spent one summer together,’ I finish breathily. ‘And it was perfect.’
‘That’s quite a story,’ says Jennifer.
Callum snorts.
Jennifer looks thrilled by this interruption.
‘I’m sorry, is everything okay?’ I ask him.
‘You’re still in love with a man who ghosted you?’ Callum frowns.
This gets my hackles up.
‘Eavesdropping now?’ I huff. ‘Why am I not surprised. And I’m not still in love with him. It’s just that nobody else has ever come close.’
Callum is quiet for a while. ‘Right,’ he says eventually. ‘It sounds to me like he’s a bit of a dick, Nina.’
‘How dare you!’ I splutter. ‘You have no idea what Hamish is like.’
‘For what it’s worth, I do agree with your beautiful colleague,’ says Jennifer.
I turn to give her a shocked look.
‘Jennifer! I thought we were bonding.’
‘Honey, we were.’
‘Well, I only gave you a very brief rundown of what happened,’ I insist. ‘It’s much more nuanced than that.’
Jennifer nods kindly while Callum looks pointedly at his watch, as if to suggest that my idea of ‘very brief’ and his are quite different.
‘I’m sure it is,’ Jennifer says.
‘And don’t you think it’s a sign, that he’s here now?’
‘Well …’ she wavers. ‘Maybe?’
‘Yes, maybe!’ I say, turning triumphantly back to Callum. ‘Thank you, Jennifer. It’s been so nice to talk to someone who isn’t a big love cynic.’
Jennifer mutters something about going to the bathroom and scarpers.
‘Do you have that effect on people a lot, Moss?’
I let out a loud humph. ‘You’re impossible.’
Callum takes a long, deep breath. ‘Okay, I’m sorry,’ he says after a while. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you.’
‘Really? Seems to me that upsetting me is one of your great missions in life.’
‘I could say the same for you.’
‘God forbid we actually make our way through a conversation like two civilized human beings.’
Callum pauses, turning his piercing gaze directly on me.
‘Is that why you’ve been on edge all flight? Because of him?’ He says this almost tenderly, and I have the strangest sensation of being briefly wrapped up in a hug. Callum is scanning my face for clues.
‘I … I … have I been on edge?’ I stutter.
The intensity of his gaze strengthens as he nods.
‘I guess I have felt a bit discombobulated. What with you and my ex turning up in the space of a few hours.’
‘Where is he?’ Callum asks, his voice low.
‘You really want to know?’
‘Right now, Nina, I’m all you’ve got.’
‘What a thought,’ I say, unable to keep the smile out of my voice. ‘He’s in economy.’
‘I hear there’s much more of a sense of community back there,’ Callum beams, delivering another Bridesmaids quote that makes me choke out a laugh. ‘Not to take the focus off Humphrey—’
‘Hamish,’ I correct.
‘Sounds like a silly name to me.’
‘People in glass houses.’
Callum looks at me in surprise.
‘Oh come on!’ I say with a smile. ‘Callum Bang?! I don’t think you get to critique other people’s names.’
‘Offending all of my Danish forebears now, are we? That’s impressive, even for you.’
I try to look suitably chastised but I cannot.
‘You were going to say something,’ I point out.
‘You mean before you were rude about my heritage?’
‘Not rude! Just, er, lightly mocking.’
‘Oh, well that’s okay then. I was going to suggest that we play a game to pass the time. Doesn’t look like either of us is getting any sleep any time soon and your one-that-got-away story made Jennifer run off to the toilet.’
I weigh this up.
‘Unless, of course, you have another pressing engagement?’ he pushes.
‘Bloody hell, patience isn’t a virtue for you, is it?’
‘I’m very patient. I’ve been sitting next to you this entire flight.’
‘Shame on you.’ I shake my head. ‘Fine, I’ll play a game.’
Callum looks quite surprised at this.
‘Worried you’ll lose?’ I ask.
‘I haven’t told you what game we’re playing yet. I wouldn’t get too cocky.’
‘How about hangman?’ I offer.
‘Are you flirting with me, Moss?’
‘Ha ha, very funny. Do you want to play or not?’
‘Sure. Brains before beauty,’ he says, motioning for me to start.
I groan so loudly that someone shushes me.
Callum and I set about a quite aggressive game of hangman, in which he accuses me of pretending it’s him as I draw my little stick man in the noose. I doodle a smiley face on the stick person and add a speech bubble.
Callum leans in closer to read what I’ve written inside the speech bubble and his lemon-and-lime scent fills my nose.
‘Hi, I’m annoying,’ Callum reads out loud.
‘Oh, Callum! You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.’ I am victorious.
‘Very juvenile,’ he sighs.