Chapter Twenty #2
So it’s safe to say that I can’t escape from the Monday drudgery, I think despondently as I trudge up and into the terminal.
Pop outside for a final blast of fresh air.
Back in to discover no discarded egg sandwich again today.
On to baggage drop and I’m beckoned over by Arsey Alan who, oddly, doesn’t look at all grumpy.
‘Good morning!’ he practically sings. ‘Looking forward to your Perth trip today?’
‘Oh, sure,’ I manage, because it is cheering to see Alan so chipper.
Alan beams at me, positively ignoring the weight of my luggage which had caused him so much issue, previously.
‘I’m considering taking my girlfriend to the Gold Coast as a surprise,’ he leans in, whispering conspiratorially.
‘You’re dating someone?’ I ask worriedly, looking over at poor Mel. Oh no! I’d been hoping those two might get together. It would be the one good thing that comes out of all of this madness.
‘It’s early days,’ Alan says, nodding in Mel’s direction.
‘Mel?!’ I gasp. ‘You’re dating Mel?! You don’t know how happy this makes me, Alan.’
Much like his girlfriend, Alan seems not remotely fussed that I, a stranger, already know him and his other half by name.
‘Me too,’ he beams. ‘It was written in the stars.’
‘Or,’ I offer, ‘maybe a wise and brilliant flame-haired woman has made it so.’
‘Maybe.’ He shrugs. ‘Anyway, do you think it’s too much?
Tickets to Australia for our first trip together?
Mel’s obsessed with koalas. Absolutely loves them, to the point where most of the things in her flat are either koala-shaped or Australia themed.
She has this stuffed koala wearing a cork hat in her bedroom and I have to turn it away when we’re making love because I don’t like the way it looks at me. Creepy eyes, you know?’
This feels like a lot of information and I take a moment to process.
‘So, Australia, too much?’ Alan prompts.
‘No. She will love it so much, Alan. Go forth and be happy.’
We make prayer hands at one another before I bob off towards the security queue, feeling lighter. Sure, my own life is a total mess and now, also, increasingly terrifying. But at least I have done something right. Lovely Mel and Arsey Alan, who perhaps deserves a rebrand, are a couple!
I think about Mel and Alan all the way through to security.
If things with them have changed so dramatically, I wonder what else might have changed too?
Back on Monday Five my photos started disappearing at a rate of knots, my old life disintegrating before my very eyes.
But now that I’ve changed all that, I wonder what repercussions that might have had.
By dealing with the grass-is-greener obsession, have I managed to change the course of my own life in other ways, too?
Did I live the past decade any differently, now that I’ve cut all ties with Hamish?
My head swims with the idea of it, but I’m keen for clues.
I reach for my phone and nervously open up my photo library, wondering if I might spot something different.
I gasp when I see them. The photos of Hamish and me. They’re back. All my old photos are! But what does that mean?
They’re back because you’ve finally dealt with your past.
It’s a quiet voice, in the back of my head, that tells me this.
I smile weakly as I flick idly through them, feeling none of the regret and longing I used to feel when I looked back on these snaps.
Even the Take Me Back photo album I made when my mission was to win Hamish back (yikes) has been reinstated.
I delete it. Then I create a new, as yet empty album and call it Nina’s Fabulous Future.
I squeeze my eyes shut, swaying slightly as I stand in the queue, and hope beyond hope that one day, I’ll be able to fill it with good things.
When Kat’s email pings into my inbox, I can’t bring myself to read it.
I know that Callum’s not coming, that that ship has sailed, but it’s all still too raw and I’d rather not see it written down. Seems too final, somehow. So I hit delete, but a fresh unread email with the same title arrives as soon as I do. I delete that one too, and another one pops up.
Obstinate.
Delete. New email. Delete. New email.
After way too many attempts, I give up and turn my phone off. Ha, take that Fate!
You’ll never guess what I’m doing? Yes, that’s right, I’m wandering about the shops at Heathrow.
I consider turning my phone back on for my daily chat with Penny, but what with all the weird insistent emails and messages from strangers, it feels too much like opening a frightening portal to another realm, so I decide against it.
Instead, I actually buy the salmon sperm facial today.
It’s hugely expensive, which seems ridiculous considering the contents, but I plan to slap it on mid-flight.
Perhaps this is my mission, I wonder idly.
Maybe I should have bought the moisturizer all along, and my quest is simply to find some great skincare?
Feels like a lot to put a person through, just for the sake of a well-hydrated face, but who truly knows by this point?
Still, at check-out I ask for a bag so people can’t see what I’ve bought. The word SPERM is written in large capital letters on the packaging, after all. I’m walking swiftly away from the spermy crime scene, head held low, not looking where I’m going, when I walk slap bang into someone.
‘I’m so sorry,’ I say, bouncing backwards.
There, standing right in front of me, is Callum Bang.
I gasp, blinking furiously in case this is a mirage.
‘Callum?’ I say in one shaky exhale, equal parts delighted and unsure. ‘You’re here! Hang on, are you here?’
I decide that the best way to confirm his presence is to snake my arms around his waist and press myself up close to him.
Instinctively, I squish my face into his chest, inhaling great lungs full of his citrussy scent.
It feels like the oxygen I’ve been missing.
It’s like I’ve been suffering from altitude sickness this entire time, stranded somewhere high up a mountain, flailing around in a thinning atmosphere.
Callum is my basecamp and finally, finally, I can breathe again.
‘It’s you,’ I whisper, the realization hitting me square in the face.
This beautiful, annoying man who has been standing right in front of me the entire time.
‘I thought I’d lost you, so I made a plan to go it alone, but everything just kept getting weirder and now you’re here and, oh my God, it’s you. ’
I step back, tears dancing in my eyes as I properly look at him.
It’s definitely Callum. Solid, real, handsome as hell. His green eyes blaze down at me, twinkling through his glasses in the airport lighting. And I decide, in this moment, to pour it all out.
‘We’ve got so much to talk about but first, I really have to get this off my chest. Because it kind of got eclipsed back on Monday Five when you told me you were looping too – and I want to hear all about that, by the way.
For example, where the hell were you yesterday and the day before?
But before any of that, you said something that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.
We’d just landed in Perth and you said: “I want you to pick me”. ’
I pause to look up at him, standing there watching me intently. He does not say a word. Classic Callum.
‘And I’ll be honest,’ I babble on. ‘I’d ruled you out over the past few days.
Seemed to me like you were no longer an option.
But, God, here you are! I want to say that I do pick you.
I will always pick you, even if we have to spend the rest of our days living this eternal Monday.
Honestly, I’d rather that than not have you around, Callum.
I’ve missed you so hard these past few days which is so bonkers, when you think about it, because we really did not like each other very much.
Until I realized that I really do like you. Very much.’
I pause to catch my breath, gazing up into his eyes.
Callum looks confused.
My heart stops beating. Clean stops.
Have I said too much? Does he still hate me in this version of today?
Eventually, he opens his mouth to speak.
‘I’m so sorry, but have we met?’
A sucker punch to the heart. Staggered, I stumble backwards, no clue what to say. He doesn’t even know who I am? Now my heart is hammering so hard I can feel it pumping in my chest, like it’s trying to escape, and I don’t blame it.
I’m about to shout a lot of extremely loud expletives and have the world’s largest meltdown when the I see the corners of his mouth twitch up.
I know that smile. It’s the mischievous one that delights in teasing me. The one I used to find so damn irritating until I didn’t.
‘Moss,’ he says in a slow, low rumble. ‘Just kidding.’
‘What?’ I shriek.
‘Of course I know who you are. How could I forget? I’ve missed you like crazy.’
‘So you were teasing me, just now, after I quite literally poured my heart out to you?’
‘I am sorry.’ He looks chastised. ‘I couldn’t help it.’
‘Oh my!’ I splutter. ‘You are such a jerk!’
‘There she is.’ He grins. ‘Throwing insults at me is your favourite thing.’
‘I’m going to make revenge my new favourite thing,’ I brood.
‘I shall look forward to that. About what you just said, Nina.’
‘Yes?’ I bite my lip, suddenly nervous.
He steps forward, brings me closer to him again.
‘I couldn’t give a damn if you’re the key out of here or not. You’re right, one eternal Monday with you is far better than a life without you.’
‘You like me too.’
‘You know I do.’
‘So tell me, Callum, have you ever experienced altitude sickness? Climbed a big mountain, maybe?’
‘I think it’s time for us to stop talking,’ he murmurs, hands running through my hair. He eases my bag off my shoulder and sets it down between his feet. ‘I would very much like to kiss you now.’
‘Hmm,’ I say, pretending to mull this over as I press myself close. ‘Have you sought permission from the relevant authorities? Have you added it to my calendar? Because I’m going to need something in writing.’
‘If this is your revenge, then it is torturous,’ says Callum, his lips inches from mine, pupils dilated.
‘No.’ I shake my head. ‘That will be far worse, and served cold.’
‘Understood.’ He smiles.
And I cannot wait any longer. I step onto my tiptoes and kiss him.