14. Bryson
14
Bryson
The past couple of days had been an absolute mind-fuck.
We’d arrived at my great uncle’s house on my birthday, and Embry and I followed through with our plan. We made everyone believe we were a real couple. This involved a lot of touching, kissing, and handholding. The fact that I thoroughly enjoyed it was confusing, to say the least.
Then, to add to the confusion, we shared a bed every night. Embry insisted, and what was I supposed to say? No thanks, I’m afraid I might like it too much?
Both nights started off with the two of us separated by three feet of mattress. It was a king-size bed, and Em was tiny, so we had plenty of space. But then in the morning, we woke up with me wrapped around him, as if I was a giant squid and he was a little fishing vessel I was trying to drag into the deep.
Okay, so that was a weird analogy, but I really did feel like some sort of clingy, multi-armed tentacle monster who couldn’t keep his hands to himself.
Not that Embry complained. Just the opposite. He cuddled me right back, and when I tried to apologize, he smiled and made light of it.
It just added to an already baffling situation. I knew I truly liked and cared about Embry. But I was also finding myself more and more attracted to him as time went on, and that was throwing me for a loop.
Was I actually bisexual, like I’d told my grandfather? Was it possible to go thirty-seven years without knowing that about myself?
I didn’t feel like I was, though. Overall, men still grossed me out. So, what was I, Embrysexual? Was there a name for only being attracted to a single member of my own gender?
I hid in the bathroom with my phone on Christmas Eve, trying to Google it like a clueless kid hitting puberty. It turned out there was actually something called demisexuality, which I’d never heard of. It basically meant being attracted to individuals regardless of their gender or physical features, but only after forming a strong emotional connection to them.
Had that always been the case? I tried to analyze the handful of pseudo-relationships I’d had in my life, but then my cousin Raya’s obnoxious husband knocked on the bathroom door and yelled, “You’ve been in there a long time, dude. Did you fall in?” He had the sense of humor of a not particularly bright third grader.
I pocketed my phone, got up from the edge of the tub, and flushed the unused toilet. Then I washed my hands for no reason and opened the door, shooting him a look as I said, “There are literally nine other bathrooms you could have used.”
“This one is closest.”
I fought back a sigh and rejoined my family in the living room. We’d finished dinner almost an hour ago, but we’d eaten early so the kids could dine with us, since it was Christmas Eve. How much longer before we could claim to be tired and escape to our room?
Embry was sitting in front of the fireplace with my cousins Raya and Gabby, and Dusty was on his lap. I crossed the room and perched on the arm of his chair, since all the seats were taken. Then again, even if there’d been a place to sit, I still would have chosen this spot.
He idly began to stroke my thigh as he said, “We were talking about your grandfather’s birthday bash in Sausalito next month. It sounds like it’s going to be quite the event.”
“Yeah, he goes all out every year and rents this same inn for the weekend. Ninety percent of the guests are his clients, so more than anything, it’s an excuse to wine and dine them. But it’s also a time for the family to gather and celebrate Granddad, and the inn is gorgeous. I think you’ll like it.”
“You need to be careful, though,” Raya teased. “The walls in that old inn are paper thin, so everyone will hear it if you two newlyweds get down and dirty.”
“Oh, please.” Gabby rolled her eyes. “As if our straight-laced cousin would have wild sex. I’m sure it’s all perfectly mild and boring.”
Embry got up and shifted Dusty in his arms. “Shows what you know. Bryson’s an amazingly creative lover. I’d go so far as to call him innovative, bordering on avant-garde. He makes me come so hard that it’s like a twelve-pack of Coke blowing up in the back seat of a car on a hot summer’s day.”
With that, he made a series of exploding sounds and waved his hand around. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. Then he added, “That’s part of the reason I married him. When you find a man with that kind of skill set, you lock that shit down.” He turned to me and said, “I know you’ve already made me come five times today, but I’m ready for round six if you are.”
My cousins looked stunned. I got up too and said, “Of course, baby.” I draped my arm over Embry’s shoulders as we walked away. Once we were out of earshot, I leaned in and whispered, “Thanks for that.”
“Happy to help. I hope I didn’t overdo it, but what they were saying really annoyed me.”
“They excel at that. Avant-garde, though?”
“I didn’t have any material prepared, so I had to wing it. Be glad I didn’t call our imaginary sex life wacky and thought-provoking. Those were the first words that came to mind, but I managed to push them aside.”
“Yikes.”
“Exactly.”
“The Coke thing though, that painted a picture.”
“Thank you.”
I asked, “Are we really leaving?”
“I think we have to after that. Let’s go say goodnight to Statler and Waldorf.” I thought it was hilarious that he referred to my grandfather and great uncle as the two old men from The Muppet Show. There was a definite resemblance.
We found them smoking cigars in my uncle’s home office. When I told them we were turning in, my grandfather said, “Already? It’s barely nine o’clock.”
To which Uncle Charles replied, “Leave them alone, Edmund. You remember what it was like to be a newlywed! These two have been waiting all day to tear each other’s clothes off.” My grandfather nodded knowingly.
Wow, really? There’d been way too much talk about my sex life in the last three minutes.
After that, we stopped off in the kitchen to thank the staff for dinner, and then we took Dusty for a quick walk. When we got to our room, we changed into sweats, and I built a fire in the rustic fireplace. There was a small sofa against one wall, and we dragged it in front of the hearth and settled in side-by-side.
I leaned back and stretched out my legs as I muttered, “This is the first time all day that I’ve felt truly relaxed.”
“Have you been having any fun at all since we’ve been here?”
“Sure. Hanging out with you has been great. And I’m glad I’ve gotten to spend some time with my grandfather and Uncle Charles.”
Embry said, “I’m a little sad that Fallon left this morning.”
“Are you?”
“I know he was being pretty awful, but I guess I was hoping you two might reconcile.”
“I’d be open to it, but I’m not the one carrying some sort of personal vendetta.” I changed the subject, because talking about my brother didn’t fit with my plan for a relaxing evening. “What do you think about going home after brunch tomorrow, instead of the day after Christmas like we’d planned?”
“Will that upset your family?”
“I think they’ll understand. We cut my birthday plans short and came here a day early, so it’s basically a trade-off.”
“I’m all for it, as long as you don’t think it’ll ruffle any feathers.”
“I’m willing to take that chance.” I turned to face him, as much as I could on that little loveseat, and said, “It sounds so good to me to be cozy at home for Christmas, just the three of us—you, me, and Dusty.” The dog was sitting on the floor between our feet, and he looked up and wagged his tail at the sound of his name. “I want to spend the day in pajamas, and cook for you, and give you your presents. I can’t wait to see your reaction when you open them.”
There was a lot of emotion in Embry’s voice when he whispered, “That sounds like a wonderful way to spend Christmas.”
“Then it’s a plan. We won’t take no for an answer, even if my grandfather tries to guilt us into staying.”
“We’ll bust out the ‘but it’s our honeymoon’ card if we have to. He can’t say no to that.”
I nodded, and both of us shifted a bit. Embry tucked his feet under him and leaned against me, and I put my arm around him. This felt so good. Instead of trying to analyze why that was, I just enjoyed it.
We watched the fire slowly burn down, until Embry stretched and murmured, “Let’s get ready for bed.”
After we took turns in the bathroom, we climbed under the covers. This time, Embry didn’t wait for us to gravitate together in our sleep. Instead, he slid close enough to share the same pillow and rested his hand on my waist.
As I studied his features, he grinned and asked, “Can you actually see me right now, without your glasses?”
“I’m nearsighted, so you’re perfectly in focus.” We’d also left a small lamp on across the room, so that helped.
I ran my fingertips along the curve of his jaw, which was slightly rough from his five o’clock shadow. “You’re absolutely beautiful, Em,” I said softly.
He whispered, “Why would you say that?”
“Because it’s true, and because you need to hear it.”
He searched my eyes before leaning in and tenderly kissing me. I took us deeper, dialing up the heat as I slid my hand down his back.
I knew this was a turning point—we were about to redefine our relationship, but I wasn’t really thinking about where we’d go from here. I wasn’t thinking about much of anything, actually. For once, I managed to get out of my head, feeling instead of thinking—and whatever was happening between us felt wonderful.
Since he was pressed against me, Embry knew I was starting to get hard. He whispered, “Is it okay if I touch you?—”
“Anywhere you want.”
“Okay. Same with me, by the way.”
He slid his hand down my stomach, slowly, as if he was giving me time to change my mind. When he rubbed my hard-on through my sweats, a soft moan slipped from me.
I claimed his mouth in an urgent kiss as heat shot through me. Now that we’d crossed this line, I desperately needed more. The way he responded told me he did, too.
He pulled my T-shirt over my head and tossed it aside. Then he worked his way down my body, licking and kissing and occasionally nibbling me while my cock throbbed.
When he reached my waistband, I raised my hips for him, and he pulled my sweatpants and briefs to mid-thigh. Then he tried to yank them off in one motion, but my legs got tangled in the fabric. I tried to sit up and help, but we bumped heads, and I dropped back onto the pillow with an, “Ow.”
“Just let me.”
Both of us started chuckling when he stood up on the bed, grabbed my sweatpants, and tried to pull them straight up. He ended up hoisting my lower half off the bed, hanging me by my ankles as I exclaimed, “What are you doing? I feel like a marlin that’s being hauled onto a fishing boat!”
“I’ve got this. I have mad seduction skills. I should give a Ted Talk on how to seduce your mate.” That made me laugh even harder.
He shook me like a dog with a chew toy. Finally, my feet slipped out of the tangle of sweats and underwear, and the half of me that had been hanging in the air fell back onto the mattress. He shouted, “Ta da,” and held up the clothes victoriously before tossing them over his shoulder.
Then he dropped down on top of me, and I wrapped my arms around him and murmured, “There’s no one in the world like you, Em.”
“That’s probably a good thing. One’s enough.”
I’d lost my erection during all of that, but it came right back when we started kissing again. Embry reached down and stroked my hard-on, and I cupped his ass with both hands. Somewhere along the line, he’d taken off his sweatpants, but he was still wearing briefs and a T-shirt. I was about to do something about that when he slid between my legs and started sucking my cock.
Holy fucking shit.
It wasn’t my first blow job, but none of the others had prepared me for the magic Embry could do. I propped myself up on one elbow because I wanted to see what he was doing, and when I ran my hand over his hair, he glanced up at me. When our eyes met, our connection felt tangible and electric.
Soon after, my brain shorted out. Pleasure and sensation radiated through me, so strong that it obliterated all rational thought.
Needless to say, I didn’t last long. I tried to give him a heads up by blurting something barely intelligible when I was about to come, but he kept sucking me. About two seconds later, I bit back a yell as a massive orgasm slammed into me.
It left me wrecked. Shaking. Barely functional. I collapsed against the pillows and muttered something totally inarticulate, like, “Fuck me, that was fucking awesome.”
Embry curled up next to me and pulled the covers over both of us, and I rolled onto my side, so I was facing him. He was grinning and looked like he was pretty proud of himself, probably because he knew he’d just rocked my world. Even though I was barely conscious, I mumbled, “What about you? You didn’t get to finish… or start.”
“Next time,” he whispered, as he gently swept my hair back. “You look like you’re about to pass out.”
“But it’s not fair. You made me feel incredible and got nothing in return.” My words were starting to slur. It was too much effort to keep my eyes open.
“Not true. I thoroughly enjoyed that.”
“Still not fair.” I wasn’t sure if I said that out loud or just thought it before sleep dragged me under.
The next morning, I once again woke up wrapped around Embry—only this time, I was buck naked. That instantly made me feel self-conscious, so I slipped out of bed, being careful not to wake him.
I grabbed some clothes and hurried to the bathroom. Then I turned on the shower and stood under the stream of hot water for a while, lost in thought.
This was a lot to process—though not the part about being intimate with a man, surprisingly. I’d been working on redefining my sexuality ever since I realized I was attracted to Embry. Apparently he was attracted to me too, which was a newsflash. Now that we’d finally acted on that mutual attraction, it felt right.
But I needed to figure out what happened next. Of course, I planned to talk to Embry and get his take on all of this, but first I wanted to get a handle on my own thoughts and feelings.
Were we going to start dating? Embry and I lived under the same roof, so how was that going to work? Also, what if it didn’t work out? Then what? We still had a year of pretending to be married ahead of us, which would be incredibly awkward if we decided to break up in real life.
And there was that overthinking I’d managed to avoid the night before.
Not that this was the time for a lot of introspection. We had brunch to get to, and then we had to make our excuses, get out of here, and get back to San Francisco.
I finished up in the shower and hurried through the rest of my morning routine. Then I paused with my hand on the door handle and took a deep breath. Was this going to be awkward? Would things feel different between us? Did Embry think what happened last night was a mistake?
Wow. I really needed my brain to shut up.
When I went into the bedroom, Embry was just Embry—sweet and cute and upbeat, like always. He said, “Merry Christmas, Bry,” and gave me a hug.
“Merry Christmas.”
He’d already gotten dressed, and he said, “I want to take Dusty for a walk before brunch. Will you come with me?”
“Definitely.” He spent a couple of minutes in the bathroom, and then we bundled up and headed outside with the dog.
Embry linked his arm with mine, and Dusty trotted along happily in his little, red doggie sweater. It was cold enough to see our breath. Fog hung in the air, and a thin layer of frost covered everything. Embry said, “It looks like the whole world was dipped in sugar.”
“You’re right.”
As we made our way down a dirt path between rows of dormant vines, he asked, “Will you please bring me back here in the spring, and summer, and fall? I want to see the grapes when they’re tiny and green, and later when they’re big and purple. Then I want to come back and see them get turned into wine.”
“Absolutely.”
“Good. That’ll be fun.” After a minute, he glanced at my profile and asked, “Did you bring Christmas presents for your family?”
“I sent the gifts to their home addresses. They got them last week.”
“What did you send?”
“Everyone always gets a gourmet gift basket from a company I’ve used for years. I also send imported cigars to Uncle Charles, and a very nice cognac to Granddad.”
“You do the same thing, year after year?”
“Yeah. It’s all set up on auto-delivery.”
“And what do they give you in return?”
“Wine, mostly.” When I glanced at him, he was frowning. “You don’t approve?”
“I didn’t say that. It all sounds very nice.”
“But?”
“It’s a little impersonal, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, I suppose it is.”
“Let me help you next year,” he said. “I’m sure we can come up with some fun ideas.”
I tried to imagine my life a year from now. Assuming everything continued to go well, I would have just received my inheritance. The plans for my new restaurant should all be mapped out by then, so the first thing I’d do when I got the money would be to secure a location.
From that point forward, my life was going to become totally consumed with getting the restaurant up and running. I couldn’t let this one fail. I just couldn’t. I’d have to put everything I had into it—all my time, all my focus…
Where would that leave Embry and me?
I hoped we’d be a real couple by then. But what would happen to us once I opened my restaurant and was working a million hours a week to make it a success?
I was getting ahead of myself. I knew that. Whatever was happening between us was brand new. It was too soon to predict what it was going to turn into.
Instead, I made a conscious decision to shift my focus to the here and now. I was in a beautiful setting on Christmas with a wonderful person and his cute dog. This was a moment to be savored.
We returned to the house a few minutes later, and when we went to our room to drop off our coats, I saw the little stockings were filled. I grinned at Embry and said, “Look, Santa was here while we were out for a walk.”
He grinned, too. “That’s definitely what happened. It’s not that you didn’t notice them before we left.”
A large, bone-shaped dog biscuit was sticking out of Dusty’s stocking, while Embry’s and mine held cellophane bags filled with homemade peppermint bark. I asked, “Did you know that’s my favorite candy?”
“Yeah. You mentioned it once, in passing.”
“Thank you,” I said, as I drew him into a hug. “That means a lot to me.”
He must have heard something in my voice, because he guessed, “Is that something your dad used to buy for you?”
“He made it, every Christmas. I haven’t had it in years.”
“I didn’t mean to make you sad.”
I let go of him and smiled, even though I felt tears welling up. “You didn’t. It’s a good memory. Now we should hurry up and get to brunch, before my cousins hog all the blueberry scones.” He knew I was changing the subject, but he just went with it.
Dusty accompanied us to the dining room and sat in front of the fireplace while we said hello to my cousins. They were already eating, clustered together at one end of the long table.
When we checked out the lavish buffet, Embry whispered, “This is incredible. I feel like a prince.” He picked up a plate and began collecting every type of miniature pastry.
He ate a little beignet in two bites, and I grinned and told him, “You’re covered in powdered sugar.”
He dragged the back of his hand over his mouth and asked, “Did I get it?”
“Most of it.” I moved closer and ran my thumb over his lower lip to wipe away the last bit of sugar. Then I got distracted by the soft, sensual perfection of his lips. When they curved into a grin, I met Embry’s gaze. He was watching me with an amused expression.
I tilted his chin up and kissed him. The kiss I got in return was sweet and tender. Both of us lingered in the moment, until a deep voice said, “Ah, of course. The honeymooners are doing what honeymooners do.”
Embry and I smiled at each other before turning to my grandfather and Uncle Charles. Merry Christmases were exchanged as they joined us at the buffet, and when our plates were full, the four of us took a seat at the vacant end of the table.
After chatting for a while, I managed to work heading home after brunch into the conversation. I expected some push-back, but Granddad nodded and told us, “I figured you’d probably want to do that. Go have fun, with my blessing. I’m counting on you to be there for my birthday celebration at the end of January, though.”
“We wouldn’t miss it.”
Embry chimed in with, “We don’t have to go that long between visits. Why don’t you both come for dinner in a couple of weeks, whenever it’s convenient for you?”
Uncle Charles declined. He’d gotten tired of the crowds and traffic years ago, and now he avoided coming into the city. But Granddad said, “I’d love to. I’ll call you next week when I’m in front of my calendar, and we’ll nail down a date.” That surprised me. I always went to his house when we got together, not the other way around. That was just our routine, at least for the past few years.
The last time he’d been in my house was during my father’s wake. Losing his only son had devastated him, so I assumed he’d stayed away after that because it was too painful. Would he be relieved that I’d hidden away all those memories when I remodeled the house, or would it upset him? It looked like we were going to find out.
Later on, when we were back in our room packing our bags, Embry asked, “Did I overstep by inviting your grandfather to dinner? After I said it, I realized I should have talked to you first.”
“It’s fine.”
“You both seemed surprised by the invitation, though.” I told him how Granddad had stayed away for the last four years, and he whispered, “I’m sorry, Bry.”
“No, it’s good you invited him.”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded and kissed his forehead. “It’s almost a brand-new year,” I said. “This is the perfect time for new beginnings.”