Chapter 16
Clara took the letter from the butler at once. "I thank you." She dismissed him with a wave, only to catch his attention again. "Is my brother at home?"
"No, my lady. He is gone to White's, I believe. He will return in time for dinner."
Clara nodded, thanked the butler and then dismissed him, looking down at the letter in her hands.
Despite the fact that her brother was not in the house, she hurried to her own bedchamber rather than linger in the drawing room, making sure to shut the door before sinking down on the edge of her bed.
Breaking the seal, she unfolded the letter and, with her heart in her throat, began to read.
My dear sister,
I have received your letter and I understand your confusion, for it mirrors my own these many months. I have kept silent when I should have spoken, and that silence has caused you pain I never intended. For that, I am more sorry than I can express.
You ask me what happened at Christmas and why you were forced to break with Lord Rutland.
I cannot set it all down here --- I have told you before that letters may be intercepted, and I am not fool enough to think our brother does not watch his own post as carefully as he watches yours.
But I will tell you this much: what was done was done in my name, Clara, though I had no hand in it and no knowledge of it until after.
I have been made to carry the weight of another man's sins, and the threat of exposure has kept me away from London and from you and from our mother for far too long.
I am angry. I did not think myself capable of such anger towards our own brother but it has grown in me these months like something with roots and I cannot uproot it, nor do I wish to any longer.
He has used me most cruelly and he has used others more cruelly still --- one in particular whose kindness deserved far better than the wreckage our brother made of her life.
I have allowed it by my silence. That is a guilt I shall carry for the rest of my days, regardless of what may come.
I think of her often, Clara. More often than I have any right to.
But I am done with silence and I am done with hiding.
Despite what may befall me, I will risk all and return to London.
Expect me within two days of receiving this letter.
When I arrive, I will tell you the whole of it --- every wretched detail --- and then you shall know why we have all suffered as we have.
Do not tell Tyrone that I am coming. And Clara --- be careful. I know you are brave but bravery without caution will serve none of us well.
Your brother who loves you, Thomas
Clara read the letter through twice, her hands trembling by the time she reached the end for the second time.
Thomas's anguish was there in every line, barely contained by the careful formality of his words, and she found herself blinking back tears not of sadness but of something fiercer --- a hot, rising indignation on her brother's behalf that was almost indistinguishable from her own.
She folded the letter slowly, her fingers lingering on the paper.
There was something in Thomas's words that went beyond anger, beyond the desire to expose David's wrongdoing.
The way he had written of this unnamed person --- whose kindness deserved far better --- held a tenderness that sat oddly alongside his fury.
I think of her often. More often than I have any right to.
It was the kind of tenderness that came from personal loss, not merely from witnessing someone else's suffering.
She thought of her mother, of the quiet determination that had settled into Lady Tyrone's eyes when she had pledged her support. Whatever comes of it, I will stand beside you. Clara drew strength from the memory. She was not alone in this --- not any longer.
She pushed the thought aside. There were more pressing matters to attend to.
Rising from the bed, Clara went to hide the letter inside of the drawers of her dressing table, tucking it beneath a folded chemise where no maid would think to look.
Thomas was not coming to London for a pleasant visit during the Season --- he was coming for a reckoning, and Clara could only pray that the cost of it would not be more than he could bear.
A quiet knock at the door had her starting violently, sweat breaking out across her forehead. "Yes?"
A maid pushed the door open. "Forgive me, my lady. Lady Alice has arrived for you. She said you were expecting to go with her in the carriage?"
Clara blinked furiously. "I beg your pardon?"
The maid kept her gaze a little lower than Clara's eyes. "The carriage, my lady. Lady Alice is waiting."
Clara had no recollection of agreeing to any such outing --- but she paused, her mind working quickly. If Alice had come unannounced, there was a reason for it.
"Yes, of course." Clara tried to smile. "I quite forgot. Quickly now, do help me ready myself."
The maid was quick to act though, as she helped Clara prepare, the door opened again to reveal Clara's mother. She was frowning heavily, her eyes sharp as she took Clara in.
"You are leaving, Clara?"
"Alice is come for me. We are to take a ride around London."
"Without a chaperone?"
Clara gestured to her maid. "I can take a maid with me, if you so desire."
Lady Tyrone clicked her tongue. "You know very well that your brother does not like you stepping out of the house without either myself or himself with you. I can be ready in a few minutes, I am sure."
Her stomach knotted. "There is no need, Mother.
" The maid stepped away and Clara moved forward quickly, needing to find a way to stop her mother from joining her.
Putting one hand on her mother's arm, she smiled gently at her.
"I am quite sure that you think my brother a little heavy handed.
He will not return before dinner and I will be back before then.
It is only a short ride around town, Mama, that is all. "
Lady Tyrone bunched her lips together, searching Clara's face.
Then, much to Clara's relief, she sighed and nodded.
"Very well." Her hand settled on Clara's for a moment.
"I know that you think your brother much too concerned about you --- I think the same --- but I am certain he does so for your good.
He does want you to be happy and contented.
That is why he is gone to speak with Lord Atherstone today. "
It felt like the floor beneath her feet dropped away as Clara stared at her mother, feeling herself grow cold all over.
"You --- you did not know?" her mother asked, sounding a little surprised. "He informed me that you were interested in the gentleman and that he thought well of him. I am sure that ---"
"Lord Atherstone is not someone I would ever consider," Clara whispered, her fingers clutching at her mother's hand.
"Why would he do such a thing? Why ---" She stopped dead, her eyes closing tightly, her breathing ragged.
Had Tyrone seen her with Lord Rutland? Had he seen her return to the ballroom after her brief few minutes in his arms?
Was this the reason for his desire now to marry her to a gentleman she had not even the smallest interest in?
After all, that was one of the things he had threatened should she go anywhere near to Lord Rutland.
She shuddered.
"You will not be forced to marry anyone, I am quite sure." The slight catch in Lady Tyrone's voice told Clara that she was not as certain as she said. "I am surprised that he has done such a thing. I thought, from the way he spoke, this was something you were both in agreement about."
Clara swallowed thickly and shook her head. Then, without another word, she made her way out of the room and directly to Alice's waiting carriage. Her cousin smiled warmly as she climbed inside, only for that smile to fade as she took in Clara's expression.
"Whatever is the matter?" Alice asked, reaching out to grip Clara's hands. "Your hands are cold and you look very pale indeed! Is something wrong?"
Swallowing at the ache in her throat, Clara tried to speak without shedding the tears that burned in her eyes. "My brother has gone to speak with Lord Atherstone," she said, hoarsely. "According to my mother, he goes to see if there could be a suitable connection formed between us."
At this, Alice's mouth dropped open, her eyes wide with astonishment.
"He must have seen me with Lord Rutland," Clara continued, tears falling to her cheeks despite her best attempts to keep them back. "This is the consequences he warned me about."
"But that does not mean they will come to anything."
Clara dragged in air to her tight lungs, searching her cousin's face.
"I am shocked, yes and certainly more than astonished but that does not mean that anything he seeks to do will, in fact, come to fruition," Alice said, the surprise disappearing from her expression and replaced instead with anger that flashed in her eyes.
"Lord Rutland has sent me to you. He has discovered Miss Jennings. "
The tightness in Clara's lungs grew even greater as she stared at her cousin, who nodded fervently.
"I do not know how but he has decided to act with swiftness and, thus, I did also.
He is going to speak with her this very afternoon and, whilst he wrote to me to beg me to share this with you, there was also the hope that somehow, you might find a way to join him.
" She smiled and Clara sat back in her seat, her hand releasing from Alice's.
"You are near to the truth, Clara. I feel it! "
Nodding slowly, Clara pulled out her handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes. "I hope so," she said, her tears still threatening to overwhelm her. "For if we do not get to the truth soon, then I am afraid of what my brother might do."
"No, you need not fear him," Alice stated, unequivocally.
"Your mother would not allow it. Lord Rutland would not allow it.
I would not allow it! Remember, your brother needs your consent before any marriage can take place.
You need to stand up in church and state those vows to make yourself the wife of any gentleman and I am sure you will not say a single word! "
"No, I will not." The strength in her cousin's voice was growing the courage and the hope in Clara's chest, now that the shock of what her mother had told her was finally beginning to fade.
"You are right, Alice. I cannot let my brother succeed in this.
" Her heart threw itself upwards as she smiled at her cousin.
"And I have Thomas's letter to share with Lord Rutland. "
Alice's eyebrows lifted. "Thomas wrote to you again?"
"In the shock of what Mama told me, I quite forgot.
" Clara took a breath. "He is coming to London, Alice.
Within two days. He says he will tell me everything --- and he has warned me to be careful of David.
" She looked out of the window and saw London roll by, the familiar streets taking on a different cast now that she knew Thomas was coming to tear down the careful walls David had built.
"Whatever David has been hiding, it will not stay hidden much longer. "
"And they must be brought to light," Alice finished, quietly. "Miss Jennings will be able to share a good deal, I am sure."
Clara nodded but did not pull her gaze from the window. She was soon to be in Lord Rutland's company again and it was that, rather than anything else, that filled her heart with delight --- even with the threat of her brother's desire to attach her to Lord Atherstone.
He will never succeed, she told herself. Our love is too strong for that.