Chapter 22
Juniper
As she walked along the path through the trees, June was aware of every single beat of her heart.
Was it because of her stupid ICD or was it in reaction to the moment when she had been certain Beckett Hunter wanted to kiss
her?
How was she supposed to know the difference?
Maybe she was wrong. She could have misread the signals. It was possible he had only been polite, holding the door open for
her as he would for anyone else, and she had completely misinterpreted the sudden hunger she thought she saw in his eyes.
No. She hadn’t been wrong. In those few frozen seconds when they had stood only inches apart, he had looked at her with an
unmistakable awareness.
Remembering it sent a wave of heat through her as that distant thunder rumbled over the mountains again and she picked up
her pace.
She was in no position to be attracted to any man right now, especially not one as vibrant and alive as Beck. Her body was
still trying to heal and her mind had much work to do, as well.
She was a mess. Everything she had once believed about herself—that she was tough, invincible, driven—had been shaken to the
core.
She was in a lousy place to think about even kissing a man; forget about anything more.
Her track record in relationships wasn’t the greatest, anyway. After she had dated Adam briefly, she’d had a few casual relationships, but they never went far, mostly because she had never been tempted to carve out room in her hectic, demanding life for any kind of relationship.
Nothing had changed. If anything, her life was now far more complicated than it had been two weeks earlier.
As she hurried through the woods, she suddenly had to fight a fierce urge to climb into Carson’s Jeep, drive to the nearest
city with a major airport and catch a flight that very night back to her real life in Seattle. To her apartment, her friends,
those rare inconsequential relationships with guys whose names she could hardly remember.
She could even call Adam and have him send one of the corporate planes for her. He would do it in an instant, she knew.
And then what?
She would be stuck in her apartment in Seattle by herself. What would she be going back to? Adam had already told her she
needed to take more time off before she returned to work. She knew they were handling things in her absence. The company wouldn’t
fall apart without her.
She wasn’t ready to go back. That didn’t mean she was ready to jump into something romantic with Beckett Hunter.
The rain started to fall as she reached the cabin, sizzling in the dirt and undergrowth with huge drops that smelled earthy
and clean.
She made it up the steps with only a few drops hitting her, and she stood for several moments on the protected porch, listening
to the rain plopping onto the roof.
She was torn between hoping it would stop so they could go on their hike and wishing it would rain all afternoon, rendering
any trails impassable.
Rain or not, she ought to call Beckett right now and tell him she had changed her mind and wouldn’t be going on any hike with
him.
Spending more time with the man was a recipe for disaster. He gave her thoughts she didn’t want to think and dreams she couldn’t afford to indulge.
She gripped the railing to keep from reaching for her phone and chickening out. Surely, she could go on a simple hike with
the man without trying to jump him, for heaven’s sake.
She had nearly died, but nearly was the operative word.
She was still alive. Somehow, she had to shift her mindset and start acting that way, embracing all the chances life was offering
her. She didn’t want to hide away, afraid, in a little cabin in the woods.
She wanted to see the wonder of a mountain lake at sunset, even if it meant she had to take a few risks and push herself outside
her comfort zone.
That didn’t mean she was ready to fall in love with the man. She certainly wasn’t. Anything lasting between them was completely
impossible. She understood that.
But what would it hurt to indulge in a little crush? They were both unattached adults. If he wanted to kiss her, why shouldn’t
she let him? She was smart enough to know it would only be a few kisses.
She could worry about that later. For now, she planned to go back to Carson Wells’s journals and all his angst and yearning
for a woman he couldn’t have, writings that suddenly seemed to feel far more relatable.