Chapter 45
Alison
She should have listened to June and canceled the date.
As she waited for Clint to pick her up later that evening, Alison considered texting him to back out at least a dozen times.
What could she have said? Sorry. I don’t want to go out with you because I think I’m in love with my best friend?
The truth sounded ridiculous. Anything else would simply be an excuse, and she had been paralyzed by indecision all the time
she had dressed and put on makeup for their dinner.
She did like Clint. He was a little self-absorbed, but she had enjoyed being with him the other night and he was certainly
good-looking. They could be friends, if nothing else.
He was fifteen minutes late, but came to the door wearing a nice Western-cut shirt, jeans and the same hand-tooled boots he
had worn when they went to see the band at the Bison.
“You look fantastic,” he murmured, leaning in to kiss her. At the last minute she turned her head so his mouth landed on her
cheek.
He smelled good and looked even better. Ali knew her teenage self would have been freaking out right now.
She wasn’t a teenager, though. And Clint wasn’t Xander.
“Thanks.”
“Are you ready to go?”
“Yes. What time is our reservation?”
His eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled. “I didn’t make reservations. I had an even better idea. I took a couple of
choice steaks out of the freezer and thought we could grill at my place.”
Alison knew a brief instant of panic, remembering how he had grabbed her ass the other night after he brought her home. If she went to his place, would she have to spend the whole night fighting him off?
She didn’t want to risk it. “I would rather go out,” she said.
He reached for her hand and twisted his fingers through hers. “I thought it would be more fun to have a quiet night, just
the two of us.”
Yeah. That was the last thing she wanted. Why hadn’t she canceled?
“I would rather go out,” she said stubbornly. “That’s what we talked about doing and what I agreed to when you asked me out.”
Annoyance creased his forehead before he smoothed it out again with another charming smile. “I didn’t make a reservation.
I doubt we can find anywhere at this last moment.”
“It doesn’t have to be anywhere fancy. We could even go to the Bison, where we don’t need a reservation. I’ve heard their
pizza is great.”
Could he hear that slightly desperate note in her voice?
He finally gave a resigned sigh. “If I didn’t know better, I might think you don’t want to be alone with me.”
He seemed completely baffled at the possibility and she almost felt sorry for him. Clint Maclean had always been the catch
of Bridger Peak, at least in high school. She hadn’t been the only one who had been jealous of his girlfriend.
“It’s not you,” she said. “I just... have recently discovered I have feelings for someone else.”
“Xandork.” He spat out the word like it was a fly in his beer.
When she didn’t answer, he glowered at her. “What the hell, Ali? I always thought you had a thing for me in high school.”
“You... you did?” Apparently, she hadn’t been as good at hiding her crush as she thought.
“I always thought you were cute, too. If I hadn’t been with Angel, I would have done something about it.”
How could he not have known? She had probably blushed furiously whenever she talked to him, and she had never complained or
argued when he asked her to help with his homework.
She was really glad she wasn’t that ridiculous girl anymore.
“People grow up and change. I’m sorry, Clint. I like you. But I’m in love with Xander.”
Saying the words out loud seemed to set something free inside her, as if she had busted a logjam of emotion. “I should have
canceled our date. I’m sorry. But you’re still Clint Maclean. If you walked into any bar in town, you could have any woman
you wanted. Maybe those Danish tourists are still in town. I’m sure you could grab Smitty and Tank and the three of you could
find them.”
He seemed to brighten at the possibility, even as he tried to make sense of her unexpected rejection. “We could have been
good together.”
She suddenly knew with certainty they would have been lousy together. It was a good thing she had wised up before she did
something really foolish, like go to his house for steak and probably sex.
She gave him an apologetic look, even as half of her mind tried to figure out what her next steps should be with Xander. “I’m
really sorry I didn’t cancel earlier. I should have. I’m sorry you made the trip over here for nothing and sorry I didn’t
come to my senses before. At least I didn’t waste any more of your time or energy. Good night, Clint.”
She closed the door before he could argue. Through the side panel window next to the door, she saw him pause on the porch
then stomp down the steps.
He gunned his engine on the way back down the driveway. She rolled her eyes and headed back to the TV room, where Loretta
was turning on her favorite reality show, one of the cats stretched out on her lap.
Her grandmother hit Pause on the remote. “What’s going on? Wasn’t that Maclean’s truck I heard pull up? Tell him he needs a new exhaust system.”
She sat down on the sofa, feeling slightly dazed. “I don’t think he’ll want to listen to anything I have to tell him from
now on. I canceled our date.”
Loretta turned off the TV and frowned. “I hope it wasn’t because of my warnings the other day, after your date. I’ve regretted
saying anything ever since.”
“It wasn’t because of that, though I am grateful you were concerned enough about me to urge caution.”
She gazed at the picture on the wall of her parents. Even if he had loved someone else first, her father had loved her mother.
She had no doubt whatsoever. She wanted that kind of love, too. Genuine, tender, forged on friendship and mutual respect.
“I didn’t cancel because of anything you said. I just realized I want something different.”
Loretta pressed her lips together, but Alison didn’t miss the knowing look in her eyes. Good grief. Couldn’t she hide anything
from anyone ?
“Alexander,” her grandmother said with a satisfied smile. “It’s about time.”
Yes. Yes, it was.
“Have you told him?”
“No. Not yet. It’s not that easy.”
“Sure it is. What are you waiting for?”
She gave a ragged-sounding laugh. If only she had a tiny portion of the courage her grandmother seemed to think she had in
abundance.
What if he rejected her?
The possibility haunted her. He might. Her own feelings toward her high school crush had certainly changed since high school.
If he truly had feelings for her back then, maybe his feelings had changed, too.
She would never know unless she tried.
Before she could talk herself out of it, she pulled out her phone and texted him.
Have you had dinner? If not, I’m grabbing a pizza. I could be there in a half hour.
Three blue dots flashed for a painfully long time before he replied.
I thought you had a date with Clint.
My plans changed , she replied.
And so had her priorities. She didn’t want only a pretty face and a nice butt, though Xander definitely had those things.
She wanted something real with someone she had loved since they were kids.
Sure , he texted back. Pizza sounds good .
She ordered the pizza on her way into town—his favorite, veggie with extra mushrooms—and stopped at the pizzeria to pick it
up. She felt overdressed to be picking up a pizza and Xander’s favorite beer. She had dressed for what she thought would be
dinner in a nice restaurant with Clint, wearing one of the dresses she had bought for her short-lived internship, and hadn’t
bothered to change into something more casual before she left the ranch.
Too bad. She didn’t care. He could take her as she was.
Or not.
She pulled up in front of his great-aunt’s house, heart pounding as she grabbed the pizza and six-pack and headed for the
door.
She had no idea what she would do next, beyond sharing pizza with him. Maybe she could persuade him to take a drive or something
so she could talk to him without Sylvia as an audience.
But when he answered the door, he immediately let her know his great-aunt wasn’t home.
“Helen and Bob Turner took her to bingo tonight.”
“I didn’t realize there was bingo tonight. Let’s go,” she said, trying for a joke to hide the sudden nerves building in her.
“We could eat our pizza on the way.”
He studied her closely, and she regretted that he knew her so well and could always tell when she was hiding something.
“What’s going on, Al? You had a date with Clint tonight. Did he stand you up? Is that why you’re here?”
She set down the pizza box on the coffee table, though she was tempted to tell him they should eat while it was hot.
“I thought we were heading to a nice restaurant, but he wanted to go back to his place and grill steaks together.”
His jaw clenched. “No doubt grilling wasn’t his only plan for the evening.”
“Probably not. Which is why I told him no.”
“You didn’t want to grill steaks?”
She shook her head. “Or do anything else. Not with him.”
He looked at her, and the moment seemed to stretch out between them, vibrating with tension and energy.
“With someone else?”
She couldn’t meet his gaze as a hundred different emotions chased through her. She felt as if she were on the edge of something
terrifying and wonderful at the same time, yet she was so afraid to take a step into the dark unknown.
If she didn’t, though, she might never know the beauty and joy waiting for her on the other side.
“Yes,” she whispered, fiercely grateful that his great-aunt wasn’t there. “If you want the truth, I told Clint I had recently
discovered I had... feelings for someone else.”
She did meet his gaze now and she saw something leap there, something bright and vivid that made her toes tingle and her knees
feel weak.
“Anyone I know?” he asked, his voice raspy.
Suddenly, she was no longer afraid. How could she be, when this was Xander, her dearest friend, and he was looking at her
with that fiery expression in his eyes?
She nodded. “Yeah. You know him quite well, actually.”
“Do I?”
With a soft smile, she reached for his hand. “I told you I’ve watched all the content on your channel. What I didn’t tell
you was how much I disliked all the beautiful women who traveled with you.”
His mouth pursed. “I’ve told you that Giselle is the only woman I was actually in a relationship with.”
“I didn’t know that at the time. I hated all of those women, especially Giselle. Do you want to know something funny? I had
no idea why I disliked them until this summer.”
“Why?”
“I was jealous, plain and simple. I wanted to be the one there with you on all those adventures. The one you laughed with
and explored mountain trails with and held hands with on the beach.”
He looked down at their entwined hands. When he reached up, she saw a shadow of nervousness in his expression. “I don’t want
to screw up our friendship, Al. That’s one reason I’ve never made any moves. First, I was sure you weren’t interested. And
second, you matter to me. More than anyone else ever could.”
“But you wanted to? Make moves, I mean?”
“More than I wanted to breathe, whenever we were together.”
He reached out and grabbed her other hand, but he didn’t pull him to her. Not yet.
“Should I tell you why Giselle and I really broke up? Because she told me in her very French, very dramatic, way that I had
no room in my heart for anyone else and I never would because you were taking up all the space.”
“Oh,” she whispered, feeling as if her own heart was about to melt into a mushy pile on the floor.
He smiled. “She was right. It was always you, Ali. From that first day when you were so kind to me in the lunchroom.”
“I wish you had told me. Think of all the time we’ve wasted.”
He pulled her fingers to his mouth and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “I don’t consider it wasted. Maybe we both had to grow
up in order to know what we really wanted.”
Finally, at long, long last, he pulled her to him and his mouth found hers.
His kiss was everything. Like coming home, like slipping off her shoes at the end of a long day, like a soft breeze on a sweltering
day.
Perfect.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, so happy she wanted to stay right here forever.
“We’re not friends with benefits,” he said on a growl after a long, delicious moment. “Just to be clear. I want more than
that. I want it all with you.”
“Good. I wouldn’t accept anything else,” she told him.
She kissed him again, regretting that his great-aunt would eventually be home. She wanted to start on that everything right now.
They used to spend hours in his bedroom innocently hanging out and his great-aunt and -uncle had never said anything. How
would Sylvia even know if they spent a few not-so-innocent hours down there?
She felt lightheaded with joy, not quite believing this was real. She had no idea how they would make this work, especially
when Xander had made a career out of traveling the world, and she had been about to embark on a new career she had worked
hard for as soon as she passed the bar.
But he was right. She didn’t have to start lawyering right away. Why couldn’t she take a little time off?
She could work on continuing to grieve her father’s death, could spend time thinking about what she really wanted to do with her life, and could especially be with the man she loved.
Her best friend.