Chapter 15 Frost
FIFTEEN
FROST
She was trying her damndest to hold back her questions, and I knew how much effort that took for her. Lexi had always been the kind of person that needed every single ounce of information at her disposal before she made decisions about her life. So, I did the only thing I knew to do.
I walked her over to the couch, sat her down, then gave her exactly what she wanted.
“Rapid-fire questions. You ask, I’ll answer to the best of my ability, okay?” I asked.
She nodded quickly. “But, what about Natty and Chloe outside? Are we just going to leave them out there?”
I brought her hands to my lips to kiss. “They’re safe.
Trust me. I’ve got a guy out there but the name of West. He’s sitting in the shadows.
You probably didn’t even see him out there, and that’s the point.
He’s keeping an eye out. I’d never leave them vulnerable like that.
It’s just a bad idea for us to be standing outside. ”
She furrowed her brow. “I didn’t see him at all.”
I grinned. “West is good at what he does. I trust him with my own life, so I absolutely trust him with theirs. If something happens, he’s right there. Okay?”
She relaxed a little bit. “Okay. Rapid-fire. Let’s do this. Ready?”
I nodded. “Ready.”
“How the hell did you get my cell number?”
“We have a guy in the club that’s a fucking whiz with computers. I asked him to dig it up for me in case I ever needed to get in touch with you.”
She drew in a short breath. “Natty. You knew about her when you came up to my apartment. How?”
“When I followed you home earlier, I perched and waited to make sure no suspicious vehicles drove through. I saw a car that looked weird, I perched in the bushes, and someone pulled the curtains to your apartment. I saw you, and Chloe, and the little girl.”
“Natty.”
“Right, Natty.”
“So, is that why they’re in trouble, too? Because the person in the other car saw?”
I nodded. “That’s the assumption I’m making, yes. There isn’t room for error here, so it's better to be safe than sorry.”
Her shoulders slumped a bit. “I know the doctors told me that I couldn't have kids. That’s why Natty was such a--.”
I shook my head. “You don’t owe me any explanation for her. She’s your daughter, and it doesn’t matter where she came from or whose daughter she is. I’ll protect her like she’s my own.”
Tears crested her eyes. “Please tell me you mean that.”
I reached my hand up and wiped away her tears. “Of course, I mean that.”
Her lower lip quivered. “Why didn’t you look for me? After you came back from whatever top-secret nonsense you say you did, why didn’t you track me down? Why didn’t you come looking for me, Dean?”
I moved to sit beside her on the couch. “I did. After I got home, I went straight to our apartment, but the landlord said you had moved a few months’ prior.”
“So, you just stopped your search? You thought I’d just be sitting at home waiting for a man who fell off the face of the earth after I thought he had been bombed to death?”
I took her hand, but she yanked it away.
“Answer me, Dean. Rapid-fire, remember?”
I closed my eyes. “During our mission, it led us to a small village. And while we were there, some of the villagers needed medical attention. The core group that we were tracking had already raided and pillaged the place before blowing up some of their most important buildings, and no doctors were set to arrive for a few days. I got permission to use what I could in order to help those that were in need, but the guy heading up the unit quickly figured out that it was a set-up.”
She didn’t say anything when I opened my eyes and peeked over at her, so I continued.
“We were ambushed, Lexi. The enemy insurgents wanted to figure out who the fuck the combat medic was of our group so they could take me out and weaken the guys coming after them. They charged me out of nowhere, and even though I had trained for that moment--even though I had all of the tools at my disposal that I needed to defend myself--it felt like I was back in basic training. Like I didn’t know fuck-all about anything. ”
She still didn’t say anything, but she reached out for my hand. So, I let her take it.
And her touch pulled tears to the surface.
“I struggled to put bullets in them, but I managed. Then, out of nowhere, something in me snapped. I heard a little child crying out for help and everything just… went dark. When I came to, I was covered in blood, holding a knife in my right hand with a gun in my left, and a couple of the guys were dragging me away from mutilated bodies spilling blood at my feet.”
“Jesus, Dean,” she whispered.
I swallowed hard as I wiped my own tears away.
“We lost two of our men during that attack. And with each city we came into that we tracked those fuckers through, I became more ruthless. Every time we got attacked, I became feral, and animalistic. As if there were a beast inside of me that could level an entire city if given the chance. It felt like my entire heart had frosted over. Just turned to ice. So, when we get to where we’re going, you need to understand that it’s why the guys call me Frost.”
She furrowed her brow. “Get to where we’re going?”
I threaded our fingers together. “I know your question was why I never came after you, and the truth of the matter is that I wasn’t the same man that deployed.
Two years of bloodshed, and killing, and watching children die froze over a part of me I had convinced myself I’d never get back.
So, when you weren’t at the apartment, I figured it was some sign from God telling me to leave you alone because it was for the best. That’s why I didn’t bother tracking you down after that.
I figured you were better off. To be honest, I still think you’re better off.
You're in this situation because of me, at least partially. And I can’t help but wonder--. ”
The second her lips crashed against mine I wrapped my arms around her.
I pulled her into my lap because I feared that it would be the last time, she’d ever let me handle her like that.
She spread her legs like butter and wrapped her thick thighs around my pelvis.
I leaned up, allowing her to blanket me as I peppered kisses along her exposed cleavage.
“I’ve got you,” she whispered as she kissed the top of my head, “I’m right here, Dee.”
I dug down into the depths of my soul to find the strength to speak. Then, I lifted my head and gazed up into her glorious face.
The face of an angel, honestly.
“You have two options for safety,” I said as I leaned against the couch cushions.
“You can come back to a warehouse where me and the other guys have been staying to keep safe. You and Natty will have a room to yourselves. Chloe will also have a room. Or, there’s a safehouse in another town about an hour from here where the three of you can lay low. ”
“Will you be in the safehouse with us?”
I shook my head. “No.”
She sighed. “Then, it sounds like we’re going to the warehouse.”
My gaze searched hers. “I was wrong not to come after you. I’m so sorry, Lexi.”
She smiled softly. “I would have forgiven you; you know. I would have understood. Thank you for telling me what happened. I’ve been racking my brain for years, trying to figure things out.
The Army wouldn’t tell me anything about you because we weren’t married at the time, and none of the wives that I tracked down had any information to give me. ”
I shook my head. “I’m so sorry that I put you through that. I’m so fucking sorry, Lexi. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to ever, ever hurt you.”
And I’d spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it, if she’d let me.