Chapter 3
HOLT
“Hoooolt,” a feminine voice singsonged.
I froze in the entryway of the bed and breakfast. I’d known it was a risk to stay here, but I hadn’t wanted to stay at my parents’ place, and my siblings all had their own lives; they didn’t need me crowding their space.
I slowly turned around and forced a smile as I took in the woman in her early sixties. “Ms. Peabody. Nice to see you.”
She clasped her hands in front of her and practically vibrated with excitement. “You’re grown now. You know you can call me Janice.”
Her nickname growing up had been Ms. Busybody, and with good reason.
“All right, Janice.”
Her shoulders gave a little shimmy. “I was so excited when I saw your name on the roster. I knew you’d come home eventually. All good sons do.” She leaned in a little closer, a look of exaggerated sympathy on her face. “How is it being back? I know there has to be a lot of memories…”
Janice let the sentence hang, waiting for me to finish it. She’d be waiting a hell of a long time.
I locked down my expression. I’d had years to master my blank mask. She wasn’t getting any tidbits of information to gossip over with her cronies.
“It’s good to be back, but I need to head out. Wouldn’t want to be late to my parents’.”
“Oh, of course not. Tell your mom hi for me.”
I didn’t miss the disappointment in her voice. I’d continue being a disappointment every time she tried one of these ambushes. I’d tried to snag one of the vacation rentals in town, but they were all booked up for the season. Still, it might be worth trying again in case someone had canceled.
Giving Janice a nod, I headed for the door.
“Wren’s working across the street. I’m sure your brothers told you, but just in case they didn’t…I’m sure she’d love to see you.”
My gait hitched in mid-step. So much for that blank mask. But I didn’t say a word, just kept walking.
My pulse beat harder in my neck, the rapid rhythm of trying to fight off the memories.
The sticky feeling of her blood between my fingers.
Her fading heartbeat. The knowledge that I’d failed her.
She’d almost died because of me. Because I’d let Nash distract me.
I might as well have been holding the gun myself.
I sucked in the mountain air as I stepped outside onto Main Street.
There was nothing like it. It didn’t matter how many places I’d been, none of them smelled quite like this—a blend of pine and fresh water and something unique to Cedar Ridge.
I let it fill my nostrils and swirl around, praying it would cleanse the nightmare images from my brain.
“Holt?”
My head jerked up at the familiar voice—older now, deeper, and a little raw with age.
I forced another of those fake-as-hell smiles. “Jude. Good to see you, man.”
He strode forward to take my hand in a hard grasp. “Thought I was looking at a ghost.”
Maybe he was. There were times I thought my life had ended the day I almost lost Wren. I moved through the world differently now and saw everything through an entirely new lens.
Motion behind Jude caught my attention as another of my high school friends stepped forward. Chris gave me a chin lift, but there wasn’t a whole lot of welcome in his dark gaze. “Holt.”
I didn’t blame him for that lack of warmth. When I’d bailed on Cedar Ridge, I’d bailed on everyone. It had felt like the only way to keep from drowning was to pretend that I was an entirely different person—without friends or family I talked to more than once a week.
Without her.
“Hey, Chris.”
I extended a hand, and he waited for a beat before accepting it.
“What are you doing in town?” Jude asked. His face looked the same, but he’d bulked up since high school, his shoulders broader. And he’d gained a good fifteen pounds of muscle.
“Wanted to spend some time with my dad and the rest of the family.” To try to mend some of the hurt I’d caused. Maybe find a new normal.
Chris shifted his lanky frame, begrudgingly turning his gaze to me. “How’s he doing?”
“Better. Just ornery.”
The corner of Jude’s mouth kicked up. “Not shocked about that. I’ve been meaning to stop by this week, but work’s been kicking my ass.”
“It gets worse every tourist season,” Chris muttered.
“What are you guys doing these days?” I hated that I had to ask the question. We’d been the three musketeers while growing up until Wren and I had gotten together, and my world’s axis had shifted. But even then, we remained close. It wasn’t until I’d left that things changed.
Jude grinned. “Went into business together. Mountainview Construction.”
“That’s great. Building houses?” I’d seen that company name on a build on my way into town, and it had looked amazing.
Pride swelled inside me for my friends. Chris had always fought against pressure from his father to go into medicine, and Jude’s dad had been an asshole who’d told him he’d amount to nothing.
The fact that they’d gone out on their own and built something was incredible.
Chris nodded. “Started with small cabins and grew from there.”
“He’s being modest, but I’ll brag. We’re building some of those behemoths for the tourists who fall in love with it up here.”
My lips twitched. “The ones who use their places for all of two weeks out of the year?”
“Those would be the ones,” Jude said, shaking his head.
We were quiet for a moment as if there was nothing else for us to talk about. That cut. I used to be able to shoot the shit with these guys about anything.
Chris swung his keys around a finger. “How long are you in town for?”
“Not sure yet. Trying to get the lay of the land with my family.”
“Gotta be hard to take time away from that fancy security gig you’ve got,” Jude said.
Apparently, even though I wasn’t up to date on town news, they were current on mine. “We’re making it work.”
Chris grunted.
Jude sent him a quelling look. “I’m sure your family appreciates it.”
I wasn’t quite so sure. I hadn’t been able to get a read on things when I’d dropped the bomb that I was coming home in the sibs’ text chain. Maybe they thought I wouldn’t follow through, or maybe they’d simply gotten used to life without me.
I glanced down at my watch. “I should head out. I’m supposed to be over there for an early family dinner. Let’s grab a beer while I’m in town.” Pulling out my wallet, I handed each of them a card.
Jude let out a low whistle. “Even his business cards are fancy. You feel this cardstock? Someone went and found himself the high life.”
Chris smirked. “Holt has always been fancy. You’re just losing your memory in your old age.”
Jude socked him with a half-force punch. “Watch who you’re calling old, grandpa.”
I’d missed this, the good-natured ribbing. Giving each other a hard time. I had it with the guys on my team, but they didn’t know me as well. Because the truth was, I hadn’t let a single soul in since that night ten years ago.
“Text me if you geezers want to grab a drink.”
“Will do,” Jude called as they walked on.
Chris simply gave me another chin lift.
It was better than nothing. A start.
I picked up to a jog, heading to my SUV in the lot on the side of the B&B, but I couldn’t help my gaze from traveling to the police station across the street.
A few buildings down from the inn, it looked just how I remembered.
Yet, somehow, it was entirely different.
Likely because I knew it was where she went most days.
My eyes bored into the brick structure as if I could see through the walls by sheer force of will alone. Was she in there? I wondered if I would even recognize her if she walked down the street. I’d kept tabs on her. I didn’t have a right to, yet I did it anyway. But I’d stayed away from pictures.
I couldn’t handle seeing those hazel eyes. The way the flecks of green blazed like emeralds in the sun when she laughed. Or was mad. Or when I kissed her.
Chris gave me a shove as we headed down Main Street. “Screw off. That three-pointer would’ve been nothing but net if you hadn’t gotten in my way.”
I rolled my eyes. “Sure. You’re basically LeBron.”
Jude snorted. “He’s just waiting to get drafted straight out of high school.”
“You both suck,” Chris shot back.
“Hey, isn’t that Wren?” Jude asked.
Just her name had something deep inside me tightening. As I turned and caught sight of the form at the end of the dock, my steps faltered. It was something about the slope of her shoulders and how they curved inward as if she were hiding from the world.
Like that would work. Wren was the kind of stunning that had all the guys at school taking notice—just waiting until fall when she was a freshman.
I slapped Jude on the back. “I’m gonna go check on her. I’ll catch up with you later.”
“Seriously?” Chris complained.
Jude chuckled. “Guy’s got it bad. Let him shoot his shot.”
I ignored them and headed off in a jog. It didn’t take me long to reach her, but Wren didn’t look up, not even when I lowered myself onto the dock next to her.
The breeze picked up, blowing her light brown hair out of her face. That was when I saw it. The tracks tears had left behind on her cheeks.
Everything in me twisted as panic lanced through me. A million possibilities for her tears ran through my head, each one worse than the one before. “What happened, Cricket?”
She stared out at the lake. The sun had set, but there was still a glow in the air. “I love the twilight. Even after the sun’s gone, no one can forget that it was there.”
An ache took root in my chest. “Your parents?”
“They forgot my birthday’s tomorrow. They decided to leave on a trip. Asked your parents if I could stay with Grae for the week.”
God, I wanted to rip her parents a new one. They were always taking off on her. They’d ask her grandma to stay or send her to a friend’s house. The only thing they cared about was her getting straight As. They didn’t give a damn about anything else.