Chapter 5
GRAE
My jaw went slack, and I gaped at Caden. I clearly needed to get my hearing checked because those words could not have possibly come out of his mouth.
Caden’s hand lifted, and his fingers skated along my jaw to my chin, where he gently closed my mouth. “Wouldn’t want any bugs to fly in there.”
I shook off his touch—the feel of those roughened fingertips against my skin. “Did you get hit on the head this morning?”
He arched a brow.
“We can’t be in each other’s presence for longer than two minutes without fighting.”
Caden shrugged. “We can play it off as passion.”
“My family and friends know you’re the bane of my existence.”
I swore I saw a flicker of pain in his expression at that, but it was gone so quickly that I figured I must’ve imagined it.
He shoved his hand into his pocket, gripping something tightly. “Like I told the jackhole, love and hate are two sides of the same coin.”
I snorted. “Well, when it comes to you, murder is my love language.”
The corner of Caden’s mouth kicked up. “See, we’re making our case already.”
I studied him for a moment. His years away from Cedar Ridge had only made him more handsome. His jaw was sharper, his hazel eyes more hypnotizing. “Why would you want to do this?”
Caden met my gaze. “I hate that he’s bothering you. It’s crossing a million different lines. You shouldn’t have to constantly look over your shoulder, wondering when he might show. If we make everyone believe we’re all loved up, I know he’ll eventually back off.”
“You said this would help both of us.”
His focus flicked across the street to the lake for a moment before he spoke. “My dad is on my case about not being respectable enough. Wants me to settle down. If he thinks I’m serious about someone, it should buy me some time without him criticizing every move I make.”
“Your dad is a total prick,” I grumbled.
Harrison Shaw had never been warm and fuzzy, but it had gotten so much worse after Clara passed away.
Instead of letting his remaining children know he loved them unconditionally, he’d made it his mission to berate them and point out every part of them he saw as a weakness.
Caden grunted. “And that’s never going to change. Best I can do is get him off my case while I’m home.”
“And you think pretending to date me will help?”
“My mom has always loved you and your family. And as much of a douche as my dad is, he has a begrudging respect for the business your father built.”
My dad had created an outdoor gear company in his twenties that had taken off. He sold it when we were kids, giving him—and us—more than enough money so we didn’t have to work. But all of us kids had wanted to, and that was largely due to the work ethic my dad instilled in us.
I shifted my weight from foot to foot. Agreeing to this would be the dumbest thing in the world.
Just seeing Caden around town was hard enough—remembering all I’d lost when he walked out of my life.
Being near him and knowing I’d never really have him, even as a friend, would be like throwing acid on the wound.
“It wouldn’t be for long,” Caden hurried to say. “I’m hoping my dad will send me back to New York after The Clara Foundation gala in a few weeks.”
A heavy weight settled over me like one of those lead blankets they put on you when you get an X-ray. I knew that Caden loved Cedar Ridge and that he felt the most connected to Clara here, but because of his dickhead father, he didn’t want to stay. “Okay.”
The agreement was out of my mouth before I knew I’d consciously decided. Worries about Rance were forgotten, but the idea that Caden had to put up with his father’s vile criticism was more than I could take.
Caden’s mouth split into a grin that hit me low in the belly. Schnitzel. I was in such trouble.
“We can tell your brothers it’s just an act—”
“No,” I cut him off. “If we tell them, they’ll want to know why, and they know I wouldn’t just help you out of the goodness of my heart.”
Caden choked on a laugh. “Right. That whole murder-is-my-love-language thing.”
They would see through any supposed altruism in a flash and want to know why I needed a fake boyfriend.
If they found out that Rance was paying me a little too much attention, they’d jump all over protecting weak, little Grae.
They’d try to move me in with one of them, and I’d never have a moment of peace to just… be.
My throat burned. I loved all four of them and knew I was beyond lucky to have them in my life. But their love was stifling sometimes. I couldn’t breathe under the weight of it.
“They can’t know. Not even Nash.”
I knew that was asking a lot of Caden. Nash was his best friend. And I didn’t think he’d be crazy about Caden dating his baby sister. None of my brothers would be when Caden had never dated a girl for longer than a weekend since middle school.
Caden frowned at me. “This could come back to bite us both.”
“Not if we amicably break up when you move back to New York. My family knows I’d never leave Cedar Ridge. It would make complete sense.”
He toyed with something in his pocket that I couldn’t see. “Okay.” Then his smile was back, the one that had me wanting to lean just a little bit closer. “Let’s do this, girlfriend.”
I kicked my feet onto the porch railing as I took another sip of my beer and cracked my neck, trying to alleviate some of the pressure there.
The day had been long. Too long. Usually, sitting out on my tiny cottage’s front porch and watching the sun go down was enough to melt away my troubles. Not this time.
Anxiety churned in my stomach as I thought about what I’d agreed to. But maybe this was exactly what I needed. I’d get to spend time with Caden and see who he truly was and not who I remembered him to be. We likely weren’t compatible. This could be the ticket to finally moving on.
My fingers ghosted to the empty spot on my chest. The place where the necklace Caden had given me on my thirteenth birthday had always lain.
It had disappeared the same way Caden had, lost in the shuffle at the hospital the day I’d ended up in a coma.
But there were days I still reached for it the same way I wanted to reach for Caden.
Footsteps on my front stairs had my gaze shifting. Roan’s large form lumbered up the steps, day-old scruff dotting his jaw and his light brown hair in disarray.
“Hey,” I greeted, lifting my legs off the railing so he could pass and take the second chair on my porch.
He grunted and sat.
“Want a beer?”
Roan shook his head.
I put my feet back on the rail. I was used to Roan’s silence. It was a balm of sorts when the rest of my family had incessant questions.
We sat there for a while, watching as the sun disappeared over the horizon and left us in gorgeous twilight. This time of day always reminded me of Wren. She’d dragged me out to sit in it more than once, and I wondered if she and Holt were looking at the same sky.
“You okay?”
The question had me jolting out of my musings, and I glanced at Roan. He wasn’t looking at me, but I knew he still somehow tracked every flicker of my reaction. “Sure.”
“You’ve been edgy lately.”
Of course, Roan had picked up on that. Rance’s attention had made me jumpy, and Caden being back only made things worse. “You know how summer is. I’m crazy-busy and ready for that fall break when all the tourists leave.”
Roan was quiet for a moment. “You don’t have to tell me.”
I pressed my thumbnail into the pad of my forefinger. Of course, he’d known that wasn’t the whole truth. He was like some sort of human lie detector.
I went for changing the subject instead. “What about you? How’s work?”
Roan grunted. “Tourists are morons.”
A laugh bubbled out of me. “Bears and campers?”
He nodded. “Got these hysterical girls who thought a serial killer was after them when their tent was slashed to bits.”
“But?”
“But they left chips and candy inside when they went for a hike. They’re lucky they weren’t attacked in their sleep. Read the damn signs.”
I grinned. “Bet they were all over asking you to protect them from the vicious killer.”
Roan scowled. “Not interested.”
I couldn’t help but stare at my brother.
I’d never known him to date a single soul.
He’d always been a loner, preferring the outdoors to large groups.
But he changed after becoming a suspect in a horrible attack that had left Wren and a handful of others injured or dead.
He didn’t truly trust a soul other than his family. And that made for a lonely existence.
“I could set you up with someone,” I suggested.
That scowl turned in my direction. “No.”
“Could be fun. There are lots of women around who like the outdoors and wouldn’t be moronic enough to leave food in their tents.”
“G…”
“Why not?”
Roan’s eyes narrowed on me. “I’ll tell you why if you tell me what’s going on with you and Caden.”
I snapped my mouth closed.
“That’s what I thought.”
Too danged perceptive for his own good.
We both opted for silence as darkness descended. Sometimes, I wondered if Roan showed up here just to get a little dose of human connection before returning to his cabin in the woods.
As if my brother had some invisible timer, he stood. “See you at dinner tomorrow.”
My stomach twisted. Family dinner. They were a regular occurrence. I both loved and hated them. I loved being around my siblings, nephews, and parents, but I hated that I had to be on guard for the countless check-ins I received.
“Drive safe.”
He grunted again and disappeared with a wave.
I stood from my chair, stretching and grabbing my now-empty bottle.
I headed inside, making a pit stop to toss the bottle into the recycling bin, and then headed for my bedroom and bath.
I’d read for a bit, but I was hoping for an early night.
I still needed some recovery from the hike from hell yesterday, and sleep was one of my best tools for keeping my diabetes in check.
I took a quick shower and brushed my teeth, but fatigue already had my bed calling.
I opened a drawer and pulled out silk sleep shorts and a matching tank.
As much as I lived in workout gear during the day, I loved having silk to sleep in.
I shucked my clothes and tossed them into my hamper.
Then I pulled on my pajamas, hooking my insulin pump to the waistband.
I crossed to my bed, yanked back the brightly colored comforter, and climbed inside.
My bedroom was just like the rest of my home, full of color and character. I had an array of photos and tchotchkes from travels or special moments. Together, they formed a décor that was only mine.
A rustling sounded outside my window, and I stilled, listening. There was nothing for a moment, and then it sounded again.
I flicked off the light and let my eyes adjust for a moment. Then I pulled back the gauzy window covering so I could peek out. I caught a flash of movement, but it was so quick I didn’t have a chance to pin down what it could be. An animal? A person?
A chill skittered down my spine as I remembered Rance and his late-night runs. I instantly got up to set my alarm.