Chapter 7 Aspen
ASPEN
I glanced over at Grae. She kept staring at me as the girls holed up in the family room while Kerry had the boys helping her prep dinner.
We’d gotten caught up in watching Charlie and Cady put on some cross between a ballet and a battle.
I finally turned to face my friend. “Do I have something on my face?”
Grae winced. “Sorry.”
A hint of worry trickled through me. “What is it?”
“Roan was asking about you.”
I stiffened. What were the chances that my gruff savior was Grae’s big brother?
I’d heard her speak about him with affection and frustration more times than I could count.
Had been curious what the only Hartley I hadn’t met was like.
But the fact that he was asking questions about me put me on edge.
This was why I hadn’t made friends or connections of any kind since I’d left Jackson. Because it was a risk. When you let people into your life, they wanted to know about you. Your past. Who you really were.
Until Maddie started working at The Brew, I’d been content with casual acquaintances—mainly my regulars at the café. But Maddie had worked past my defenses.
Maybe it was because she reminded me so much of Autumn. Her kind gentleness and her situation at the time. I couldn’t seem to keep her at arm’s length. Then, Wren and Grae stormed in right behind her.
Grae hurried to fill the silence. “He never asks about people. He doesn’t care to know anything about anyone.”
Wren shifted in her seat, her light brown hair swishing around her shoulders. “She’s right. He’s always been one to stick to himself. But after what happened, it got more extreme.”
That stiffness in my muscles intensified. “After what happened?”
Grae, Wren, and Maddie shared a look.
My stomach roiled. “What?” I pressed.
Wren linked her fingers, squeezing them. “When I was attacked in high school? Roan was initially a suspect.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. Wren had become the focus of three twisted classmates when she was younger.
They had gone on a spree one night, killing a few people and injuring others.
Wren had been shot and almost died. Initially, the police hadn’t been sure there was a third assailant.
It had taken years to find him, and lives had been turned upside down.
The thought that Roan had been a person of interest made my stomach twist. I couldn’t imagine how painful that must’ve been for him and his family. He might have a gruff exterior, but I’d seen kind tenderness in Roan.
“I never thought he was involved,” Wren hurried to say. “I told the police he would never hurt me. But someone said they saw him near one of the crime scenes. They were mistaken, but it was a few days before he was cleared.”
Sympathy washed over Maddie’s face, her blue eyes shining. “People just didn’t get him. Roan was quiet, reserved. Liked being out in nature more than with people.”
Grae picked at an invisible piece of lint on her jeans. “He’s still that way. I worry about him being in that cabin all alone. It’s a battle just to get him to come to these weekly dinners. And now that Caden and I live together, he doesn’t come see me as much.”
I reached over and squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry you’ve been worried about him.”
She swallowed hard, her white-blond hair slipping in front of her face. “I just want him to be happy.” She looked up at me. “He’s curious about you.”
My hand tightened around hers. “Not like that.” My words were gentle. I could see it now, a sister so badly wanting someone to take care of her wounded brother. But I knew interest when I saw it, and that hadn’t been in Roan’s gaze.
“You don’t know—”
“I do,” I said, cutting her off. “He’s not interested in me, and I’m not in a place to date.”
“Why not?” Maddie argued. “I’m not saying Roan is interested or not. I couldn’t read that man if my life depended on it. But you deserve some happiness. I’ve seen the customers who come in and flirt with you. Ask you out. You reject every single one.”
My face flamed. “I’ve got Cady and The Brew to worry about. The animals.”
“Excuses, excuses,” Wren singsonged. “Single parents date every day.”
I released Grae’s hand, my palms starting to sweat. “I’m not interested in dating, okay?”
Worry crept into Maddie’s expression. “Aspen. Is everything—?”
“Mama, look!” Cady called, spinning around in some sort of pirouette.
Thank God for tiny children.
“That was beautiful, Katydid.”
She beamed, running toward me and launching herself onto my lap.
I caught her with a laugh. “Having fun?”
“The bestest best time. I love Hartley dinner.”
Grae smiled at my girl. “I’m so glad because you’re part of the family now.”
Her eyes went wide, then glassy with unshed tears. “Really?” she whispered.
Grae sent me a slightly panicked look at Cady’s unexpected emotion. “Of course. We love you like crazy.”
Cady blinked away the tears before they could fall. “I love you, too.”
Charlie crossed to us, flopping onto the couch next to Wren. “When we get married, it’ll be all official,” he announced matter-of-factly.
Wren’s lips twitched, and she drilled a finger into his side. “You gonna beat me down the aisle?”
Charlie grinned. “You guys are taking forever.”
Maddie snorted. “You’re ruthless, Charlie.”
He shrugged. “I just tell the truth.”
“Dinner’s ready,” Kerry called from the other side of the house.
“Finally!” Charlie yelled, jumping off the couch and grabbing Cady’s hand.
They ran ahead of us as we rose and followed. Maddie fell into step beside me, getting close. “You know I’m always here if you need to talk, right?”
My throat burned. I’d almost told her so many times.
The words swirled on the tip of my tongue.
But I couldn’t set them free. Didn’t want to bring her into my mess.
Couldn’t risk that telling her would mean telling everyone in this house.
The only way to keep a secret was if I was the only one holding it.
I reached out and squeezed her hand. “Thank you.”
Disappointment flickered in her expression, and I felt like the worst of the worst. Maddie had shared the hardest parts of her past with me, and I refused to do the same. I shoved down the self-hatred and released her hand.
“Find a seat anywhere,” Kerry called.
“You can sit next to me, Ms. Barlow,” Drew called, shooting me a wink.
I couldn’t hold in my laughter as Lawson ruffled his son’s hair.
“Dial it back a notch, Casanova,” he muttered.
“Here,” Grae offered, pulling out the chair next to hers.
I was grateful for the offer until I lowered myself to the wooden seat and met fathomless dark blue eyes across the table. Eyes that searched deeper than any others I’d ever encountered. As if they could discover all my secrets without even trying.
I should’ve averted my gaze and put my mask back in place. But I couldn’t. Something in those dark blue depths called to me. A pain that spoke to mine. I found that a part of me wanted to tell Roan Hartley all my secrets. And that made him lethal.
“Thank you so much for dinner,” I said as I donned my jacket.
Kerry pulled me into a warm embrace. “Please come again next week. We’d love to have you.”
Cady danced around me. “Yes, yes, yes! Please, Mama?”
My insides twisted. I wanted to give her this. Cady deserved to have raucous family dinners and to be surrounded by people who loved her. But the idea of exposing myself to Roan’s scrutiny each and every week had me on edge.
“Let me check my work schedule. Hopefully, we can make it.”
Lawson gave me a warm smile. “I know it’ll make Charlie happy.”
“Can we have a sleepover, Dad?” he asked.
Lawson’s lips twitched. “It’s a school night, buddy.”
“We’ll go to sleep early,” Charlie promised.
Lawson chuckled. “Likely story.”
His oldest son slunk by, heading for the door to the basement. Lawson clapped Luke on the shoulder. “Say goodbye to Ms. Barlow and Cady. They’re leaving.”
Luke looked at me briefly, and I didn’t miss the shadows in his eyes. “Bye.”
“So verbose,” Lawson muttered with a shake of his head.
Luke just grunted and disappeared into the basement.
I sent Lawson a reassuring smile. “I don’t think the teenage years are easy on any parent.”
“I’ve got one who’s going to be breaking hearts left and right and another who won’t say more than two words to me.”
I winced. “That’s quite the combo.”
Nathan came up and thumped his son on the back. “This might be payback for what you and your siblings put us through.”
“We were angels,” Nash called from the living room.
Nathan snorted and then grinned at me. “If we haven’t scared you off, please come again next week.”
“I’m made of stronger stuff than letting Hartley chaos run me off.”
He laughed. “I knew I liked you.”
There was a warmth to Nathan that made my chest ache. I couldn’t imagine what it must have been like growing up with him as a dad instead of one who took off when I was less than a month old.
Cady waved to him. “See you next week.”
Nathan smiled at her. “I’m counting on it. I want a rematch in Go Fish.”
Cady beamed. “You might want to practice.”
Kerry choked on a laugh. “I’ll try to get him up to snuff, Cady.”
I hated that I looked for him as we left. Roan had disappeared without a word after dinner as if he’d hit his threshold for people time. Now, he was nowhere to be found.
Cady chattered on and on about the Hartleys as we walked to my station wagon. I loaded her into the back seat and climbed behind the wheel. I turned the key in the ignition, and the engine sputtered. I winced and tried again. Still nothing.
My palms started to sweat. This wasn’t happening. Not here. Not now.
I closed my eyes and tried again. Only sputtering.
A knock sounded to my left, and I jumped.
Roan’s face filled my vision: slightly wild light brown hair, angular jaw, and piercing blue eyes. He made a motion for me to roll down the window.
I did it automatically.
“Problem?”
“This happens,” Cady answered helpfully.
Roan arched a brow, and my cheeks heated.
“It just takes a second to catch sometimes,” I explained unhelpfully.
“Pop the hood.”
“You don’t need—”
“Pop the hood,” Roan repeated, his tone brooking no argument.
I ground my teeth together but did as he asked. “Overbearing, grumpy, too gorgeous for his own good,” I grumbled.
Roan lifted the hood, blocking himself from my vision.
“Is he gonna fix it?” Cady asked.
“I don’t know. I hope so.”
“Mr. Grizz is the best,” she said with a sigh.
He was certainly something.
A few minutes later, Roan shut the hood and came back to my window.
I rolled it down again.
He bent, the faint scent of sandalwood teasing my nose. “You’ve got some corroded cables. Need to get them replaced.”
I winced, wondering how much that would set me back. “I’ll take it in tomorrow. Is it drivable?”
“Give it a try.”
I turned the key again, and the engine caught. The air left my lungs on a whoosh. “Thank you.”
“I’m going to follow you home.”
“What?” The word came out as more of a squeak.
Roan’s expression hardened. “It’s not safe for you to drive an unreliable vehicle home in the dark.”
I bit back an annoyed retort. “It’ll be fine. It never dies while I’m driving. It’s just hard to start sometimes.”
Roan’s gaze drifted to the starry horizon as if he were searching for control. “Just gonna make sure you make it home. Should check on the deer anyway.”
I started to argue, but Cady cut in. “Dory would love to see you, Mr. Grizz.”
Roan’s gaze shot to her, and his expression gentled. “Came up with a name, huh?”
Cady bobbed her head in a nod. “You like it?”
“Fits her.”
Cady grinned as if he’d just paid her the highest compliment.
Roan glanced back at me. “You gonna let me follow you home, or you gonna make me stand out here all night freezing my ass off?”
“That’s a bad word, Mr. Grizz. Words can hurt.”
Roan’s lips twitched. “Sometimes, a situation calls for harsh language.”
I scowled at him. “Let’s go before you teach my girl the F-word.”
Roan simply grunted and headed for his truck.
“What’s the F-word, Mama?”
Great. Just great.