Chapter 15
HALLIE
I teased open the door to Lawson’s bedroom but didn’t enter. He’d said it was fine to go into all the rooms, but something about crossing the threshold to his made me pause. Being in the place he slept each night felt intimate somehow.
Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.
I was getting his dirty laundry, not waiting for the man in sexy lingerie. Just the thought made my cheeks heat. I wanted that with someone. To feel so safe I could let myself be completely free.
But seeing as I’d had a freak-out when a man had simply tried to talk to me today, surprising someone with sexy lingerie was a long way off.
I forced myself to walk into Lawson’s room. The minute I was inside, I realized my mistake. His scent wrapped around me: sage, bergamot, and something else I couldn’t quite put my finger on that was achingly familiar.
The feeling of being engulfed by it all was too good. I never wanted to leave.
My phone buzzed in my back pocket, jerking me out of my spiraling thoughts. As I tugged it free, I expected to see Emerson’s or Adrian’s name. Instead, Lawson flashed on the screen.
My gaze darted around the room as if I were looking for a camera. Some paranoid part of my brain wondered if he somehow knew where I was and what I was thinking.
I forced myself to take a deep breath and slid my trembling finger across the screen. “Hello?”
I said it like a question instead of a greeting. As though I wasn’t sure he’d meant to call.
“Hey, Hallie. Everything going okay today?”
Lawson’s voice was calm, steady. The reassurance I was quickly beginning to realize was simply him.
I cleared my throat. “Sure, kids made it to school, and I’m just working through the mountains of laundry.”
A deep chuckle reverberated across the line. “I bet we could keep you on laundry duty for a month straight.”
The corners of my mouth tipped up. “I don’t mind. There’s something meditative about doing laundry. I might solve world hunger if I’m at it long enough.”
“I look forward to hearing all about that Nobel Prize-winning idea.”
I could hear the smile in his voice. It was heady, knowing I’d put it there. I wanted more of that. More of the knowledge that I made Lawson smile. Made him laugh.
The sound of a drawer opening and closing came across the line. “Listen, I got a search and rescue callout.”
I stilled. Someone was missing. Or injured. Or worse. “Oh.” It was all I could get out.
“I never know how long these things will last, so I might be late. Would you mind staying late tonight?”
I straightened, steeling my spine. “Of course, not. Take all the time you need.”
Anything to help someone who desperately needed it.
Lawson shifted the phone, making a static noise. “There’s a guest room opposite mine that you’re welcome to sleep in if things go really late.”
“Okay. Just…be careful.”
It was freezing out there. I couldn’t imagine tromping around in the wilderness for hours with little to go on. Not to mention the wildlife and other dark things that could hide there.
“I always am. If I have service, I’ll text when I’m on my way home.”
I nodded and then realized he couldn’t see me. “Sure. Don’t worry about the boys. We’ll play a game or watch a movie after dinner.”
“Sounds perfect. Thanks, Hallie.”
“Of course.”
“Talk to you soon.”
“Soon,” I echoed.
Lawson paused for a moment before hanging up, his even breathing sounding across the line. And then it was simply gone.
“Can you believe it?” Charlie asked as he all but bounced on his bed in his adorable frog pajamas. “I kicked both their butts!”
I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing. “Are you allowed to say butt?”
Charlie gave me a sheepish smile. “Dad says booty is better.”
“Then I think it’s freaking awesome you kicked both your big brothers’ booties.”
He grinned widely. “Yeah, it is.”
I’d been shocked speechless when Luke had agreed to play Sorry!
with the rest of us. He wasn’t chatty, except occasionally bantering with his brothers, but I didn’t miss how he watched me.
It was as if he were trying to put the pieces of a puzzle together.
But that was far better than the alternative.
“When’s Dad getting home?” Charlie asked, cutting into my thoughts.
I pulled out my phone, checking it for approximately the fiftieth time today. “I’m not sure. But he’ll be here when you wake up.”
“Sometimes not. Sometimes, they stay out overnight in tents.”
My stomach cramped. Surely, they wouldn’t be doing that in below-freezing temperatures and in the snow.
Charlie showed no such apprehension of the possibility, beginning to bounce again. “I’m gonna be on SAR just like my dad and uncles and Aunt G. I’m gonna help people who get lost and hurt. But I don’t want to be a policeman. I want to be an animal scientist.”
My heart clenched as I stared down at the boy with a heart of gold. “That sounds like a great plan to me. But it means you’d better get to sleep so you can study hard tomorrow.”
“Aw, man,” he mumbled as he flopped back onto the pillows.
I laughed as I switched off the light, leaving only a small frog nightlight on. “It’ll be worth it.”
“It better be.”
“Goodnight, Charlie. Sweet dreams.”
“You, too,” he said, his voice already slurring with sleep.
I slipped out of the room, closing the door behind me. I moved down the hall and paused at Drew’s open door. He was bent over his desk, scribbling in a spiral notebook.
“How’s it going?” I asked.
His head lifted, brown hair all askew. “I hate pre-algebra.”
I laughed. “I don’t blame you. Do you need any help? It’s been a minute since I’ve conquered that particular beast, but I bet I can brush up.”
Drew shook his head but grinned. “Naw, I FaceTimed one of my babes. She helped me.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep a second round of laughter at bay. “I hope you thanked her.”
“Duh. Babes love words of affirmation.”
My brows lifted at that. “Do they?”
Drew nodded. “I read all about it.”
“Just make sure you’re using your powers for good, not evil. And don’t stay up too much later.”
Drew sent me a salute, and I closed the door behind me. I kept going down the hall, hovering outside Luke’s shut door. I worried my bottom lip and then finally lifted my hand to knock lightly.
“Come in,” Luke called, his voice gruff.
I opened the door to find Luke propped against his headboard, a familiar book in his hand. I couldn’t help the smile that tipped my lips. “You’re reading The Way of Kings?”
Luke’s brows rose. “You’ve read it?”
I nodded. “I loved it. I usually go more for YA fantasy or paranormal, but I loved that one.”
“The battle scenes are pretty sick.”
“I’m glad you’re liking it. You might try Fourth Wing. Epic dragon riders.”
Luke’s eyes flared. “I’ll check it out.”
I shuffled my feet. “I just wanted to check in and see if you need anything before you call it a night.”
Something passed over Luke’s face. “I’m good. I’m used to him bailing on us for whatever.”
I stilled, tension wrapping around my shoulder blades. “He’s on a search and rescue call.”
Luke shrugged. “Whatever. I just mean I’m used to strangers being more important than us. That’s all.”
My fingers curled into my palms, nails digging in deep. “I know for a fact that no one on this planet is more important to him than you and your brothers.”
Anger flashed in Luke’s eyes. “You don’t know him.”
“I do know him.”
Luke stilled, curiosity winning out. “Whatever.”
“I know that he saves people. He finds them when they’re alone and lost and close to dying.
He gives them back their lives. And that’s what he’s doing tonight.
But it doesn’t mean he loves you any less.
It just means he’s trusting me to make sure you aren’t alone or lost or dying while he helps someone who might be. ”
Luke stared at me for a long beat, his throat working as he swallowed. “Sorry.”
“Your father is a good man. Probably the best I’ve ever known. You just have to give yourself the chance to see it.”
His fingers tightened on the book, but he didn’t say a word.
I didn’t force it. All I could do was plant the seed. “I’ll be in the living room if you need anything.”
I didn’t wait for an answer. I knew there wouldn’t be one. Instead, I headed for the door and shut it behind me.
The moment I reached the living room, I got to work picking up the remnants of a brutal Sorry! game and our evening snack. The tornado of destruction three boys could wreak in just one afternoon was amazing.
I grabbed the bowl of mostly demolished popcorn and began picking up stray kernels. How some had landed in a chair across the room, I didn’t want to know. It was probably a miracle there weren’t pieces stuck to the ceiling.
Packing up the game board, I slid it back onto its shelf. As I folded blankets, a wave of tiredness hit me. Maybe it was the long day or the concern for Lawson, but I suddenly felt as if I’d been hit by a Mack truck.
I flopped onto the sectional that was as comfortable as a cloud and pulled out my phone. Still nothing from Lawson. But there was a text from Emerson.
Emerson
How’s everything going? I haven’t heard from you much.
I could read the underlying message. Are you spiraling?
I quickly typed out a text.
Me
I’m good. Things have just been super busy. Apparently, taking care of three boys is a lot. Who knew?
Emerson
I think Adrian and I are sticking with one for that very reason.
Me
I don’t know. These three were pretty adorable playing Sorry! tonight.
Emerson
You used to kick my ass in Sorry!.
Me
Don’t worry, I took it easy on the kiddos.
Emerson
You sound good.
I was quiet for a moment before I responded.
It wasn’t as if things had been easy since I’d arrived in Cedar Ridge, but they’d most certainly been good.
And I guessed, at the end of the day, the two weren’t mutually exclusive.
You could have the achingly difficult with the profoundly beautiful.
Sometimes, the hard made you appreciate the good more.
Me
I am. Really good.
Emerson
No one deserves it more. Love you, Hallie.
My eyes burned, chest cracking with the force of my love for my brother—the one who had always been there, no matter what.
Me
There aren’t words, Em. Love you more than I loved kicking your ass at Sorry!.
Emerson
Retribution is coming.
I laughed as I kicked off my shoes. Curling up on the couch, I opened my e-reader app and started back into the world of fallen angels. But it wasn’t long before my eyelids were drooping, and the world faded away.
A hand curved around my shoulder, shaking me gently. “Hallie.”
The voice was deep, coated in sandpaper, but somehow, I only wanted to get closer. “Hmm?”
I blinked against the low light of the living room. Lawson’s face filled my vision. His scruff-covered jaw, his piercing blue eyes. I jerked upright. “You’re okay?”
His lush mouth curved. “Still gettin’ feeling back in my toes, but I’m just fine.”
“How did it go?”
All hint of humor fled Lawson’s face as he lowered himself to the couch. “We didn’t find her. We’ll reassemble tomorrow after first light.”
It wouldn’t be light until at least seven in the morning. “Will she make it through the night? It’s freezing.”
Lawson stared down at his hands before looking at me. “If she found shelter, she has a chance. The friend she’s in town with says she always hikes with an emergency kit.”
“Why wasn’t the friend with her?”
Lawson’s fingers worried the seam of a couch cushion. “Not much of a hiker. One went to hike this morning, the other set off to poke around town, then they were going to meet for lunch and an afternoon at the spa.”
A painful ache settled in my chest. “It was supposed to be a fun trip.”
Lawson nodded.
“Do you think you’ll find her?”
He stared back at me, not breaking the connection. “We’ll keep trying for as long as we can.”
I knew they’d looked for me for far longer than they should have. My parents had made donations and pulled strings to ensure it. The initial search had lasted over a week. After that, they’d sent out teams every few days to check different areas of the wilderness near where I’d disappeared.
“But, usually, they won’t let you search for long,” I surmised.
Empathy filled Lawson’s expression. “Resources are limited. But Holt does everything he can to give us our best shot.”
“Holt?”
“My brother. He’s the head of search and rescue for the county.”
“I’m glad he’s trying to help,” I said, breaking our stare.
I couldn’t help but think about the woman. Alone. Scared. Freezing. Had she found somewhere to hide from the elements and animals? Was she already gone?
Strong fingers linked with mine, creating a woven tapestry of comfort and something so much more.
“Hallie.”
I stared at our joined hands, the miracle that was a simple touch. A closeness that didn’t send me spinning into anxiety and panic.
“Look at me.”
The command was somehow gentle yet forceful all at once.
My head lifted as if I had no choice.
Emotion swirled in Lawson’s blue eyes. A million different things morphed from one to the next, moving so quickly I couldn’t pin any down.
“Stay in the now,” he said.
“She’s scared and alone.”
That muscle beneath Lawson’s eye fluttered. “And it reminds you of being scared and alone.”
“No one should feel that way. No one,” I whispered.
He tightened his hold on my fingers. “But you’re not alone now, are you?”
I stared into those deep blues again, watching the emotions swirl faster. “No. I’m not.”