Chapter 29
HALLIE
My eyelids fluttered against the golden afternoon light. Everything felt hazy, almost like a dream. As my surroundings came into focus, I registered that I was lying against a hard chest, and fingers ran through my hair.
That was when I recognized the room. Lawson’s bedroom. His bed. I had to be dreaming. There was no way this was—it all came rushing back. The man outside the vet’s office. Damien rushing out to help. Me completely falling apart.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
The fingers in my hair stilled, then trailed down to cup my face. Lawson tipped my head back, forcing me to look into those blue eyes. “For what?”
“I freaked. I—please don’t fire me.”
Lawson’s expression went thunderous. “Why the hell would I fire you?”
I averted my gaze. “I’m not sure I would want my kids with someone who can’t keep it together.”
Lawson was quiet for a moment, and then he bent his head and pressed his lips to my temple.
“You make Charlie laugh like crazy; you make him feel safe. You’ve made Drew want to be present instead of on his damned phone so much.
And you’ve healed something in Luke that I haven’t been able to.
You’re a gift, Hallie. Don’t doubt that for a goddamned second. ”
My heart hammered viciously against my ribs. “I’m a mess,” I said, a sob clogging my throat.
Lawson pulled back to meet my gaze, his hand still on my cheek. “You’re human, Hallie. In an extremely charged and triggering situation. Anyone would be shaky after getting grabbed on the street.”
I swallowed down my tears. “I’m usually better at fighting back the panic attacks. Five, four, three, two, one.”
Lawson’s brows drew together in question.
“A grounding technique. You name five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.”
“And it helps?” he asked.
I nodded. “Usually, it brings me right back. But that was…”
“Something that never should’ve happened,” Lawson growled.
“Who was he?” I whispered.
Lawson’s breathing grew more ragged as if he were fighting for control. “Len Keller. Name ring any bells?”
I shook my head.
Lawson’s hand trailed down my neck to my shoulder, then my arm, before he finally twined his fingers with mine. “We haven’t been able to get much out of him. He needs a psych eval, and we’re waiting on a doctor from the county and a public defender.”
My body trembled slightly. “Do you think he’s—? Do you think he’s the one who hurt that girl and took Adrienne?”
I couldn’t even bring myself to say the word killed, let alone bring up the idea that he could’ve been the man who took me. They had similar dark eyes—the kind of brown that was so deep it almost looked black.
“It’s too soon to say anything, but we’ll be looking at him hard.” Lawson’s thumb traced circles on the back of my hand. “Can you tell me if he said anything to you?”
My body shook harder.
Lawson wrapped his arm tighter around me. “You don’t have to if you’re not ready.”
“No. I want it over. I want to forget.”
“Okay.” He kept a tight hold on me as if he knew I needed it.
“I’ve seen him around town. Maybe twice? He’s the one who acted weird at Dockside.”
Lawson stiffened but didn’t say anything.
“Today, I almost ran into him. I tried to walk around him, but he grabbed my arm and said something about me being her. I started to panic and hyperventilate. I tried to break away, but he was strong. The last thing I remember was him saying that he’d lost me, but now he’d found me.
Then Damien came out. I must’ve screamed.
I don’t remember. I remember you, though. Sage and bergamot and blue.”
Lawson pulled me closer, brushing his lips over my hair. “I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.”
My heart leapt and twisted, hope and fear in equal measure. “I’m okay.”
“You are,” he whispered. “You are.” Almost as if he were reassuring himself.
We stayed like that for a long moment.
“I might have to ask you more. Ask you things again. I’m sorry. I know it hurts.”
“I can do it.” I tried to pour as much strength into my voice as possible, even if I didn’t feel it.
Voices sounded from down the hall.
“It’s just us,” Grae called.
My gaze flew to the clock. It was after three-thirty. “I missed pickup. The boys—”
“Are fine,” Lawson said with a squeeze. “Aspen and Grae grabbed them.”
“I’m so sorry—”
Lawson moved in so close our noses were almost touching. “No more sorries, okay?”
I swallowed hard.
Lawson closed the distance, brushing his lips across my temple and then pulling back. “Will you be okay if I run to the office for an hour or so? Aspen and Grae will stay—”
“They don’t have to.”
He pinned me with a stare. “They’re staying.”
“Okay,” I whispered. “What do the boys know?”
Lawson sighed. “Drew and Luke know what happened, but only the broad strokes. It was too public; they’d find out anyway. Charlie thinks you aren’t feeling well.”
I gripped Lawson’s fingers tighter. “Okay.”
“You up for heading out there, or do you want me to bring food back here? You need to eat.”
Not facing everyone would just make things worse. I forced myself to sit up. “I’ll go out. I want to see the boys and let them know I’m all right.”
Lawson nodded slowly as he rose. He stayed close as I pulled my hair into a topknot but didn’t bother with shoes. We made our way down the hall and toward the living room. Charlie’s and Grae’s voices lifted as they talked about the lizard he’d get to help take care of in his classroom next year.
As Lawson and I entered the space, Charlie’s whole body swiveled in our direction, then he was running. He skidded to a stop right in front of me. “Are you okay? Aunt Aspen said you were sick but not constageous. Did you get the pukes? I hate the pukes more than anything.”
I couldn’t help the smile that stretched my lips. “No pukes, thank goodness. And I’m feeling much better.”
Charlie threw his arms around me. “I’m so glad. I didn’t want to hug you till I knew because I didn’t want you puking on me. I’d throw up for sure then.”
Grae laughed. “True love right there.”
I glanced at her. “Thanks for getting Drew and Luke.”
She waved me off. “Anytime. I’m just glad you’re feeling better.” She sent me a meaningful look as Charlie released me.
Aspen’s gaze swept over me from the kitchen. “Katydid and I are making you some soup. Law said you haven’t had lunch.”
“Oh, you don’t have to—”
“Yes, I do. And you’re going to eat it and not fight me on it.” Aspen pinned me with a total mom stare.
“I will eat it and love every bite. Promise.”
“That’s better,” she said with a huff, turning back to a pot on the stove as Cady stirred while standing on a stool.
Drew and Luke were perched at the island, but both watched me carefully. I crossed to them, trying to make my smile bigger. “Hey, guys.”
Drew met my gaze, swallowing hard. “You’re okay?”
I reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing. “Totally fine. Promise.”
He nodded but didn’t look completely convinced. “I’m glad. I didn’t really want a nanny, but you’re fire. I like having you around.”
“Fire?” I asked, my brows lifting.
“Awesome, cool, something like that,” Grae explained.
I laughed. “Thanks, Drew. I’m really glad I get to hang out with you all the time, too.”
The legs of Luke’s stool scraped on the floor as he stood. His jaw was granite like as he stalked toward me, but his eyes shone with unshed tears. He pulled me into a hug, careful not to squeeze me too tightly. “I’m glad you’re okay, Hallie.”
My heart shredded as I hugged the sensitive boy with his big heart. “Thanks, Luke.”
Luke held on tightly as my eyes met Lawson’s over his shoulder. A million things passed between us in that moment. And I knew then that I’d fallen for all of them, my heart be damned. I just needed to know if Lawson would make the leap with me.