Chapter 41
HALLIE
I pulled the bathrobe tighter around myself in the steam-filled bathroom. It was as if I couldn’t get warm. It didn’t matter how long I stayed under the scalding-hot spray, the cold had settled into my bones. The kind that was impossible to get out.
Wiping away the condensation on the mirror, I took in my reflection. My skin was a few shades paler than usual, and my eyes were wide, still with that panicked look.
I turned away. I didn’t need a reminder of just how badly I’d lost it. And in front of Luke.
My bare feet padded across the tiled floor, and I opened the bathroom door, coming up short. He would’ve been a vision, sitting on the edge of my bed, his white tee pulled taut across his muscled chest. If that image weren’t paired with the lines of worry etched into his face.
“Feel better?” Lawson asked.
I nodded. “Luke okay?”
“He’s fine. He’s going to hang out with my mom and dad for the afternoon.”
Guilt churned in my stomach. “He didn’t have to leave because of me.”
But maybe it was that Lawson wanted to protect Luke from another of my outbursts. I couldn’t blame him.
Lawson was on his feet in a flash, striding toward me.
He framed my face in his hands and ducked low so our eyes were level.
“There is no one I’d rather have around my kids than you, Hallie.
You teach them kindness and compassion. Strength and bravery.
But you also deserve to rest when you’ve had a hard day. I’d say this qualifies.”
A tear slipped from my eye, sliding down my cheek before Lawson caught it with his thumb. “I’m so tired of feeling weak, like a burden.”
“Little Minx,” he crooned, pulling me into him. “You’re the furthest thing from those words.”
“I was so scared,” I admitted.
“Being scared doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human. But you keep facing it head-on. You could run, and I wouldn’t blame you. But you stay.”
I tipped my head back so I could look into his beautiful blue eyes. “I couldn’t leave the boys. My friends. You.”
Lawson sucked in a breath as he ran his thumb over my bottom lip. “Can’t imagine doing life without you. Not now. Hallie, you’ve ruined me. But I’d burn myself to ash over and over if it meant getting you in the end.”
My heart hammered against my ribs, three little words playing at the tip of my tongue. Nerves had me swallowing them back. But I could show him.
I took a step back, my fingers going to the tie of my robe. Tugging on the ends, I drew the robe open. I shrugged my shoulders, and it fell to the floor.
Lawson stared at me, his blue eyes blazing.
“It’s you, Blue. You’re the one who brought me out of the ashes. It’s always been you.”
“Hallie,” he rasped.
I moved to him, placing a hand on his chest. “I’m ready. I want to know what it feels like to be fully yours.”
Lawson’s throat worked as he swallowed. “Tell me you’re sure.”
“Never been more sure of anything in my life.” My stomach flipped as heat pooled low. I wanted more with Lawson. I wanted everything.
Lawson’s fingers skimmed over my collarbone. “So beautiful.” His hand trailed to the center of my chest, the rough pads of his fingertips sending a cascade of shivers over my skin. He circled my breast, coming closer and closer to the peak.
“Look how your body responds. So perfect.”
My nipples pebbled under his focus, straining to get to him.
Lawson leaned forward, taking a peak into his mouth.
My lips parted, a mewl leaving my throat. My back arched, my body seeking more of the sensation, more of Lawson.
His teeth grazed the bud, sending a rush of heat and wetness to my core.
“More,” I breathed. Because Lawson made me bold, unafraid to ask for what I wanted, what I needed.
Lawson released my breast and pulled back slowly so he could take in my face. He didn’t look away as his hand dipped between my legs, his fingers parting me. He let out a pained groan. “So wet.”
I fought the urge to squirm as he teased me. My mouth fell open on a pant.
“Like that, Little Minx?”
“Yes.” The sound was more breath than a word.
“Tell me what you want.” His voice deepened, coated in sandpaper.
“You.” It was that simple.
“Be. Specific.”
“Stretching me. Filling me.”
Ever since I’d stroked his cock with my hand and felt its girth in my fingers, I’d wanted to know what it would be like to take all of him. I’d dreamt about it.
Lawson’s fingers slipped inside me.
My lips parted as I sucked in a breath.
“Killing me,” he rasped. “But can’t rush this.”
“Please,” I mumbled. I didn’t even know what I was asking for, just more of him.
Lawson’s thumb circled my clit as he added a third finger. “Are you on the pill?”
“Mmmmm?” I was so lost in sensation that I barely heard him.
He nipped my earlobe. “Need to know if you’re on the pill.” His fingers stroked my walls, making my legs tremble.
“On. The. Pill.” So much feeling washed through me I could barely get the words out.
My eyes fluttered closed as he stroked, a smile curving my lips. But it quickly transformed into a moan as Lawson’s fingers curled inside me.
“Tell me you’re close,” he rasped in my ear.
My legs shook, and my core spasmed. “Close.”
His fingers were gone in a flash.
“Wha—?”
Lawson took my mouth in a hungry kiss. “Want you to come on my cock, not on my fingers, Little Minx. Want to feel you pulsing around me. Want to watch your eyes light up as I take you.”
My core spasmed again, craving everything he promised.
Lawson released me, shucking his clothes with a speed that would’ve been comical if I weren’t so desperate for his touch. Then he was back, guiding me to the bed.
“Been checked. Would never take chances with you,” he whispered.
My throat clogged. “Me, too.”
“Need to know you’re with me. Every step of the way.”
I nodded. “I always have been.”
There wasn’t even a flicker of nerves, only want. Need. I framed Lawson’s face in my hands. “Take me, Blue. Show me how it can be.”
That was all he needed. Lawson had me flat on the mattress in a flash. “Legs around me,” he commanded.
They moved on instinct, my heels hooking as my breaths came faster.
Lawson’s tip bumped against my entrance, a brutal tease. His eyes locked with mine. “It’s you and me. Always you and me.”
My throat burned. “You and me.”
He pushed inside. The stretch nearly took me out as Lawson dropped his forehead to mine.
“Breathe,” he said, his thumb stroking my clit, turning the pain into a delicious burn.
“Blue.” His nickname was part prayer, part breath.
“That’s my girl.”
“More,” I begged.
Lawson obliged. His thrusts were gentle at first, testing. But my heels dug into his ass, silently asking for more.
“Hallie,” he warned.
My fingers tightened on his shoulders. “All of you. I want all of you.”
That blue flashed, and Lawson gave in.
His back arched as he thrust deeper, muscles bowing and flexing. It was art—watching him as he painted a masterpiece with my body.
My mouth fell open as he hit a spot that had lights dancing across my vision. Sparks of color.
My hips rose to meet his in a frantic, desperate plea. I wanted him so deep inside me that I could never get him out.
Lawson let out a guttural growl. “With me, Hallie. Need you with me.”
His thumb pressed my clit as he pumped into me, and I shattered. A spiral of sensation.
“Eyes on me,” Lawson commanded. “Can’t lose those eyes.”
I struggled to stay focused, not to lose sight of those deep blues as my body rode the wave.
Lawson arched into me, impossibly deeper as he emptied, my walls clamping down in a vicious squeeze. He let out a curse as his forehead dropped to mine. “Hallie…” he breathed. “Never been happier to be utterly ruined.”
My hand lifted to his face, his stubble pricking my palm. “That was more than I ever could’ve imagined.”
Lawson slipped from my body, and I couldn’t help a slight wince. He frowned. “Hurting?”
“Maybe just a little,” I said with a sheepish smile. “Worth it.”
His thumb traced my bottom lip. “Gonna run you a bath in my tub. That should help.”
My eyes flared. “I like baths.”
Lawson chuckled, but the sound of a ringing phone cut it off. He muttered a curse and quickly searched for the device in our pile of clothes.
“Hartley,” he clipped.
His back straightened, his shoulders turning to granite. “Where?” There was a pause. “I’ll be there in twenty.”
Gone was the blissed-out man from moments ago. My stomach clenched as I sat up. “What?”
Lawson slowly turned to me as if it were the last thing he wanted to do. “They found another body.”