CHAPTER 15 #3
“In the kitchen with Odella. Odella was making us pimento cheese sandwiches because that’s Sara’s favorite. And then we were supposed to go upstairs to get changed out of our swimsuits. I left first because Sara’s a slowpoke and hadn’t finished hers yet.”
“Did you look in the kitchen?”
Lucy shook her head. “No, because she was supposed to be done.”
As if an afterthought, Tucker gently tugged on one of her braided and bowed pigtails, causing Lucy to lean toward him.
“She’s probably still in there, listening to some long-winded story of Odella’s.
I’ll go find her and hurry her up. Meanwhile, you and Miss Earlene can get started with your lesson. ”
I watched as he walked away, swallowing my confession until I could find him alone again. I turned to Lucy. “We’re going to work on a couple of new things while we’re waiting for Sara. I’m going to teach you something today called ‘two-point’—do you know what that is?”
Lucy nodded eagerly. “It’s to learn how to jump, isn’t it?”
“Not necessarily,” I said cautiously. “It will strengthen your quads—those are your thigh muscles—and teach you proper positioning, which you need for all riding, including jumping.”
“Oh.” She sounded disappointed. “And then how much longer before I’m jumping?” Her dark brown eyes looked up at me eagerly. “I think Daddy wants me to be a really good jumper.”
I stopped walking and squatted in front of her.
“Lucy, if you want to be a good jumper, you have to want to do it—nobody else. It’s always great to have somebody you love supporting you in the sidelines.
But when it’s just you, your horse, and a five-foot jump, there’s no room for anybody else, okay? ”
Her eyes darkened, her face serious. “I want to be the best. It’s been my dream since I was really small.
Mama told me that dreams were just food for heartache, but I didn’t believe her.
I didn’t say so, though. She didn’t take very well to anybody disagreeing with her, but I let her think that she was right. And I never stopped dreaming.”
I nodded, knowing what it must have taken to tell me that one disloyalty. “I think it’s all right to have dreams. As long as you’re willing to put the hard work into making those dreams happen.”
“I’m ready to jump, Miss Earlene. I really am. I can taste it so bad, it hurts.”
I hid my smile and patted her helmeted head. “You’re not ready, Lucy. But we’ll get you there. Promise.”
We’d taken a few more steps toward the ring before Lucy stopped suddenly.
“Miss Earlene? Sara left her favorite doll on her raft in the pond. She remembered when we were eating lunch. I told her she could get it after our riding lesson. Do you think she went back to the pond instead? I hope not because she can’t swim.
She always has to wear her floaties and she doesn’t know how to put them on herself. ”
The summer air seemed to go suddenly still; even the cicadas stopped their eternal whirring.
The pond. I’d only walked by it, not interested in going swimming if only because a bathing suit gave no camouflage for my scars.
But when I thought of Sara, and her beloved doll, I knew she’d gone to retrieve it.
I started to run, adrenaline making me oblivious to the pain in my knee. “Lucy—go find your father and tell him to go to the pond. Now.”
I didn’t stop to see if she followed my instructions, I simply ran harder in the direction of the pond, cold sweat beading on my forehead.
I reached the far side of the water, opposite the decking that had been installed on the edge, connected to a jumping platform, where brightly colored floating toys bobbed in the dark green water.
“Sara!” I shouted, my panic making me jerk my gaze from one end of the pond to the other without focus.
“Sara!” I shouted again, forcing myself to calm down so I could pay attention to what I was seeing.
A flash of hot pink caught my eye on the jumping platform.
I might have seen it at first and dismissed it as another water toy, but this time the tiny white hearts on her bathing suit caught my gaze and I began running again, skirting the side of the pond.
Sara was stretched out as far as she could go, reaching for her doll floating on her raft just beyond her reach. “Sara, don’t—I’ll get it.”
Sara looked back at me and smiled, then returned to her mission of saving her doll. I saw her toes flex, absently thinking how her toenails matched the color of her bathing suit right as her supporting arm gave way.
I shouted her name one more time before she tumbled forward into the pond, the small splash seeming much louder in my ears than it should have.
I sprinted to the end of the platform but held myself back.
Maybe I’d finally learned my lesson about looking before I leapt, or maybe I knew the stakes were so much higher this time.
Either way, I stopped to stare at where I’d seen Sara go into the water, peering into the murkiness, where I saw only a hint of disappearing pink.
Keeping my eye on that point, I held my breath and stepped into the water next to where I thought she would be.
I opened my eyes beneath the water, the sun illuminating the three feet above my head as my feet touched the bottom.
I swirled around looking for Sara, stirring the lazy sediment and stilling my panic.
I knew she was near me; I could hear frantic kicking.
All I needed to do was hold my breath and still my panic and the voice inside of me that was telling me I couldn’t do it.
I thought of Helen and how she could hear things even before Mardi and I closed my eyes, focusing on what I could hear.
At first, I thought it was my own heartbeat, the soft fluttering swish of blood.
I closed my eyes tighter and listened for it again, the sound coming from behind me.
My chest began to burn, reminding me that I hadn’t taken a big enough gulp of air before I’d jumped in.
But I was so close; I could feel her now, her thrashing slowing.
I blew air out of my mouth, lessening the burn for a second, then twisted toward Sara.
I reached out into the darkness, feeling the cool wash of water on my face, teasing me with a memory.
My fingers closed on a soft Lycra ruffle and I tightened my grasp, pulling Sara toward me.
With her cradled in my arms, I opened my eyes and watched the sun push the darkness away from us as I lifted off the silted floor, moving us toward the murky light.
We burst through to the surface with a loud gasp of air.
Tucker and Lucy were just reaching the platform, Odella close behind them, running so fast that I thought for a moment they couldn’t stop before they reached the water.
Tucker knelt on the edge and reached for Sara as my fingers grabbed hold of the platform to keep me from slipping back into the water.
She was coughing and spluttering and clinging to her father as he held her tight and kissed her temple before handing her to Odella, who wrapped her in a large pink towel.
Then Tucker leaned forward and lifted me up, too, as if I weighed no more than Sara, and I felt myself enveloped in his arms, too, exhausted yet exhilarated, remembering the teasing memory I’d had in the sanctuary of the still water: the blind reaching for Sara and the confidence of knowing I had just the one chance gave me the same feeling I got from landing the perfect jump.
I rested my head on Tucker’s shoulder as we both looked at Sara, clutching tightly to the doll that been the instrument of near disaster, and I knew with a sudden clarity that I’d just done something extraordinary.