Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Gus
As Kit spoke, my mind wandered to the feeling of waking in my bed alone again this morning, the tingle of his pretty lips around my dick the night before a vivid memory.
I wasn’t sure if he’d woken up early and slipped away to avoid talking about whatever had been bothering him in the last couple of days, or if he’d really had to leave before the sun was up to prepare for the broadcast.
The phone rang, dragging me away from both my thoughts and Kit’s eloquent speech on the defeat of fascism and the victory for freedom. I hurried to the kitchen and grabbed the receiver off the cradle. “Hello?”
“Gus, finally!” Russ rumbled, sounding equal parts relieved and frustrated. “I thought you’d never pick up.”
My gut clenched. “Have you been trying to reach me long?”
“What kind of question is that? Of course, I have, I’ve been calling almost every day. It’s been over two damn weeks since you took a case, and we’re drowning in requests.”
Grimacing, I loosened the too-snug tie at my neck. I was letting Russ down, and worse, I was letting down families who needed me. Kit knew Ted was safe now. But if I left, would Kit be here when I got back? What if he got himself into trouble and I wasn’t here to look out for him?
“I can’t leave Kit on his own right now. We’re in the middle of things.”
“I got to be honest, kid. I still don’t think that’s such a hot idea, working for Kit. I told you so already, but you’re not listening, and I remember how wrecked you were last time he took off.”
So much for thinking I’d hidden my feelings when Kit left. But Russ was observant as hell; that was what made him good at tracking people down. “I couldn’t exactly say no, Russ. Ted was missing. I had to make sure he was okay.”
“Was missing?”
I sighed. “Yeah. He’s safe. For now.”
“What do you mean safe for now?”
The real concern in his voice tugged on my heart. “They’re in a world of trouble with someone well-connected and ruthless. A fae. Ted’s up at a camp, lying low, but someone’s got to figure out a way out of it. I’m all they’ve got.”
“You’re gonna take on a fae?” Russ asked incredulously.
“Do you even know the first thing about them? Because last time we talked, you barely believed a fae artefact could be involved, let alone an actual fae. Now you’re maybe gonna get yourself killed for someone who’ll be out of here the second he can get gone?
Even if you don’t end up dead, that’s a whole lot of heartbreak. ”
Discomfort, followed by defensiveness, burned hot in my cheeks. Did Russ suspect I’d been in love with Kit?
“It’s not like that,” I managed through a grimace. “Kit’s not pushing for anything. He’s letting it go for a while until everything calms down. But I can’t just leave Ted and Mary-Alice stranded in a shack.”
“Gus. Be reasonable. Your magic is powerful, sure, but to a fae, it’s nothing. A parlour trick. You need to be careful. Hell, you ought to tell me everything and let me help.”
Russ had a family to think of. Not to mention the agency to run and the stacks of open cases piling up. “Just give me a week. One way or another, after that I’ll get back to work.”
“Gus,” he said again, tone even more of a warning.
“I know. One week.”
He let out a frustrated growl, then grumbled, “One week. But I mean it, kid, don’t stick your neck out for someone who’s only gonna waltz off on you. It ain’t worth it.”
“Talk again soon,” I promised curtly, replaced the receiver, and took a long, shaky breath.
Was Russ right about Kit? He was almost never wrong about people. I’d been telling myself that getting the chance to hold Kit again—love him again, even if I wasn’t able to say it out loud—was too much to pass up, but I already didn’t know how I’d survive him walking away. Maybe forever this time.
Suddenly breathing hurt. If it was this bad now, how would it be if we kept going?
One way or another, Russ was probably right. This would blow up, and I’d be the one left behind just like Mum.
Kit
I ARRIVED ON GUS’ DOORSTEP WITH the anger that had been powering me for the last hour fizzling out, leaving me tired and defeated.
Gus answered the door with a smile that faded as he took in my expression. “You look like you could use a drink.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, mouth dry, voice slightly scratchy.
Gus ushered me to the couch and went to fetch one. I sank onto the cushion and rested my head in my hands, elbows on my knees.
“Want to tell me what happened?” Gus asked as he sat beside me and offered me a bottle of Keith’s, the top already popped.
I took a long swallow, remembering the time we’d snuck a few from Mr. North before the two of us had gone camping. It’d tasted warm and bitter, but we drank it anyway, playing at being men.
“This morning, shortly after my broadcast, I was terminated. Montgomery made it clear it came from Whitman.”
“Son of a bitch,” Gus muttered. “He can’t—they can’t—”
“He can and did. Six years of dedicated service down the drain. For what? A fae with a fucking grudge who thinks he hasn’t destroyed my family enough?”
“What are you going to do?”
I shrugged. “The message is get lost someplace he doesn’t have to worry about me. Maybe he thinks running me and my family out of town will go better than his attempt to put us in graves.”
Gus didn’t say anything, only stared at me, face gone blank. He didn’t ask if I was going to stay or go. Did he care at all?
“I’m considering it,” I ventured, trying to provoke a reaction. “I could find another broadcasting job in the states, or somewhere in Europe. Ted’s never wanted to live anywhere other than here, but what choice has he got?”
Gus’ stony silence didn’t let up, and my temper screeched back to life. These last few weeks had meant something to him, they had to have. Was he really going to let me go without so much as a discouraging word? Or, Jesus, a word at all?
The stranglehold my stomach had on my insides tightened, twisting hard, and I shoved to my feet. “Don’t you have an opinion?”
Gus’ eyes widened like he was shocked, but what did he expect? “It might not be a bad idea to put some distance between you and Whitman,” he finally said, tone flat, gaze shuttering again.
Distance between me and Whitman, or distance between the two of us?
My heart pounded sluggish and painful. We hadn’t made any declarations.
If anything, we’d both made it clear we were pretending.
This... reconnection felt like more, it was more to me, but Gus was always cautious about who he trusted.
I’d been foolish to consider his seventeen-year dry spell some sign he’d been waiting for me.
“I suppose you’re right,” I managed, sounding normal, controlled.
There was no question, I had to hold it together.
It was humiliating enough that I was letting myself be hurt, I wasn’t going to show vulnerability.
After I took another long swallow of beer that tasted of nothing so much as bitter endings, I set it on the coffee table.
“If I’m going to pack up, I better not drink the rest of this. I’m… I should go.”
Gus wavered, I could see it in his posture. I wanted so badly for him to tell me to stay, that we’d come up with a better solution together. He only nodded and walked me to the door.
In the end, he still didn’t want me.
“Kit,” he said as I stepped onto the porch; my heart gave a wild thump. “Where are you going? Ted’s probably isn’t safe. Don’t go tonight. You could stay, and head out in the morning.”
If someone listened hard enough, they’d have heard the wet squelch of my heart slowly crushing under his foot. Because even if August North didn’t—had never—loved me the way I loved him, he didn’t want me hurt.
How did that somehow make it worse?
“Thank you, but I need to check in with Marion and Agnes anyway. I’m sure I can get a room at their hotel. I’ll see you, Gus.”
“Sure,” he replied.
Sure. That one hollow word sounded so much like goodbye that my throat stung. I swallowed down everything trying to tear its way out of my chest, turned, and walked away.