Chapter 4
Emma
“Please tell me you didn’t get sucked into a tornado,” my brother, Jameson, pleaded as soon as he answered the phone.
I scoffed. “Would I be calling you if I was inside a tornado, Jam-Jam?”
“I don’t know what crazy things you storm chasers do.”
I smiled, even despite the terrible mood I was in. My brother always knew how to cheer me up, even if he currently had no idea that’s what I needed.
Jameson was quiet, waiting for me to speak, but I couldn’t get my tongue to move or my voice to work. I didn’t know why I was so hesitant to tell him what happened.
We were as close as siblings could be—brought together by our father’s sudden passing when we were kids, then by our mom’s long battle with cancer. Hard times like that often tore relationships apart, but Jameson and I were all each other had for so many years.
I might not have been very good at keeping in contact while I was away at college, but I knew without a doubt that he was always there for me and would support me no matter what. Even if me chasing tornadoes terrified him.
There are worse things I could chase, Jameson. Like…love.
Liam.
I shivered. Yeah, not going there.
“Everything okay, Em?” he asked after another several seconds of silence.
The thought of telling my brother about this horrendous day made bile swirl in my stomach. I just wanted to be somewhere safe, with people that I loved—even if it meant risking seeing him.
“Jamie, would it be okay if I stayed in your guest room for a few days?” I didn’t want to tell him what happened over the phone. I wanted it to be a face-to-face conversation, that way if I fell apart, my big brother’s hugs would help hold me together like they did growing up.
There was a long beat of silence, and for a split second I was worried he’d say no. He had Elsie now. Though they didn’t live together yet—they were waiting until they got married—she was still constantly there with him. I was sure my brother wouldn’t appreciate his little sister encroaching on his space and his time with his fiancée.
“You’re always welcome, Emma. You know that,” he said. “I’m sure Elsie would love some girl time too since Maya and Oliver are still on their honeymoon. If she can get herself to take a break from her book, that is.”
I held back a sigh at the subtle reminder that my cousin was now happily married, and I was single and alone. It pressed down on my shoulders, glued my feet to the ground—err, the floor mat of my truck. That was the sucky part of growing up. Eventually everyone moved on with their lives and left you to figure life out by yourself.
Spoiler alert: I didn’t like doing life by myself.
Oh, and adulting sucked. Couldn’t forget that one.
“But I thought you were staying away from Meridel,” Jameson added, knowing better than to mention the reason why that was.
“I’ll explain when I get there.”
“Okay,” he said, drawing the word out like he was confused. “When will that be?”
I pulled into his driveway, parking in front of the third garage stall. The sun was just starting to sink beneath the horizon, casting a purplish glow on Jameson’s house.
Without the noise of my truck, I could hear a country song playing on the radio, the voice far too familiar, making nausea swirl in my gut. I flicked the power button, silencing the song I knew like the back of my hand, and the man behind it too.
Opening the door to my truck, I sheepishly said, “Um, now?”
Jameson’s dog, Luna, was sprawled across my lap on the couch, graciously allowing me to run my fingers through her fur, calming each of my tense muscles after such a ridiculously bad day. I had just finished telling my brother everything that happened with my internship and Denise, and he kept blinking at me like I had told him I adopted a pet emu or something.
“So let me get this straight,” he began, ticking things off on his fingers. “You took out a massive loan for a truck and gear to chase terrifying tornadoes, then lost your paid internship, and then Diarrhea—”
“—you mean Denise—”
“Diarrhea kicks you out of your apartment?”
I sighed, trying not to laugh at his nickname for my ex-roommate. “That’s the gist of it.”
Jameson shook his head. “Why did you get the loan so quickly? Why didn’t you wait until your internship was over? Wouldn’t your future employer have supplied you with the equipment you needed anyway?”
I pursed my lips, wincing as I explained, “I wanted to look more appealing on applications. If the Midwest Storm Research Center, or whoever I applied to, saw that I had a reliable storm chasing vehicle and all my own gear, I thought maybe they’d be more willing to take a chance on me. Plus, having my own stuff means I can get more storm chasing experience whenever I want, and not have to wait for someone else.”
At the mention of storm chasing, Jameson curled in on himself. He really hated the thought of me chasing tornadoes. It was understandable to be afraid of storms, but if people took the time to understand how those beautiful forces of nature worked, they’d become a lot less scary.
“It probably would have been wiser to wait until your internship was over before taking out such a loan,” he said.
I shoved a pillow against my face and fell back against the cushions and groaned. “I know.”
Just another example of me making a bad decision with wave after wave of consequences. You’d think I would have learned my lesson about being impulsive by now, but nope.
He rubbed the back of his neck, staring at the ceiling. I could see the thoughts churning away in his brain. Jameson would never tell me how stupid all these decisions were, but I knew he was thinking it. Who wouldn’t be? I’d made a huge mistake, and now, I had to reap the consequences.
Pressing my lips together to keep tears from filling my eyes, I tried to pull myself together. I could cry later when I was alone. I didn’t want my brother to think he had to step in and take care of me or fix this mess. He had done enough for me over the years. It was time for me to be an adult, even if adulting was the worst thing ever.
“Don’t worry, Jam-Jam. I’ll figure it out.” Somehow.
His lips quirked to the side as he arched an eyebrow, clearly skeptical, but he didn’t refute my claim. I knew my brother was likely fighting the urge to jump in and rescue me as it was. He was so used to taking care of other people, it was second nature for him.
“Well, you’re welcome to stay in the guest bedroom as long as you need,” he offered. “Today was a rough day, but tomorrow will be better.” He gave a light punch to my shoulder. “Hang in there, Sis.”
“Thanks, Jamie.” I glanced around the room, noticing how quiet it was now. “Where’s Elsie?”
He crossed a leg over his knee as he settled back in the giant bean bag chair on the floor. “She’s at The Roasted Bean trying to finish up edits on her next book. She has a deadline coming up.”
“Another book, eh?”
“Yeah, the publisher really liked the first one and offered her a contract for two more in the series.”
“That’s amazing. You must be so proud of her.”
The loving look that filled his eyes was almost too much for me to handle. How many times had I wished that Liam would look at me that way? How many times had I wished for him to see me, love me, the way that Jameson loved Elsie?
I mean, Jameson and Elsie were complete strangers when they met. My cousin, Maya, had forced them to do a couples photoshoot even though they had never met before. Elsie liked to deny it, but it was basically love at first sight for both of them.
Liam and I had been best friends for twenty years. Why couldn’t it happen for us? Would I ever find my person?
Jameson clapped his hands on his knees and stood after another weighted moment. “Welp, I should get things ready for work tomorrow and head to bed. It’s an early morning at the clinic.” He paused next to me, putting a hand on my shoulder. “Help yourself to whatever’s in the kitchen.” He planted a kiss on the top of my head, just like I vaguely remembered my dad doing when I was little. “Night.”
A lump stuck itself in my throat and my eyes burned, and I was glad Jameson’s back was to me so he couldn’t see the effect it had on me. I had been really young when my dad died, and I had very few memories of him to begin with.
But even so, it didn’t stop the grief from surprising me sometimes. It snuck up on me, rearing its head in small moments that I thought I had forgotten. But it always brought me back to being a child and sitting on his lap while he read me a book, or when we ran through the sprinklers together, or when we scared Jam-Jam and made him fall off the dock into the lake.
Just when I thought I was over the grief, it hit me like a knife to the gut, staying for a while, and then suddenly I was fine until the next time something triggered me. The worst part of it was that ever since he died, I was paranoid that I would suddenly lose everyone I cared about.
Dad’s death was sudden, a terrible car accident late at night when he was coming home from a long shift at work, and even though there was nothing he could’ve done to stop it, I still felt abandoned sometimes. I missed him.
Jameson had done his best to fill that hole in my chest, but he, too, had had to grow up too quickly, and I hated that my brother was forced to sacrifice so much for me, and then for mom when she got sick.
With a long, shaky breath, I pushed those thoughts away. I didn’t want to deal with them right now.
And I didn’t want to deal with the crap show of a day today had been either.
Ignoring the growl my stomach emitted, I skipped finding something to eat and went straight into the bedroom, face planting myself onto the bed. My boots thunked to the floor as I kicked them off, not bothering to change into pajamas before closing my eyes.
Tomorrow. I’ll figure out what to do tomorrow.