Chapter 03
As hard as I try, it’s nearly impossible to go on with my routine. How am I supposed to go to work, see people, and keep living? Everything is so futile.
It all feels so meaningless, given the circumstances.
Chances are, Lex will spend the rest of his life in prison.
And it’s all because of me. Well, me and that security guy from Evora’s hotel, who thought he’d play hero by sending that video to the cops.
The office we walked into was apparently alarmed, and that drew his attention to us, leading him to hear our conversation.
My parents came to spend the weekend that followed the hearing with me, for moral support.
Tammy went to stay with the guy she’s currently seeing, so we could have more space for our little Walker weekend.
There were a lot of hugs, plenty of movies cuddled up on the couch, and then some tears when they left on Sunday evening.
Melancholia didn’t take long to return to me, almost immediately ruining their efforts to cheer me up.
I can’t even escape my reality through work, because everyone knows about what happened to Lex, and that we’re together. Several colleagues have asked me subtle questions or even blunt ones about it. It’s hard to keep a straight face and accept this is my life now—my Lexless life.
At least, the guys from the Troll’s Lair stopped asking. But I still get looks full of pity and compassionate smiles now and then. I told them the same thing I’ve told everyone: this is a ridiculous mistake, and one day, we’ll all laugh about how completely moronic it was.
Maybe I’m not selling the lie well because the rooms still fall silent whenever I enter.
But the silence quickly goes away, replaced by hushed whispers and side looks.
I can’t even blame them. Finding out that the boss might be a wanted cybercriminal is hot gossip.
And I’m right there, holding the tea they’re all dying to hear.
It’s only fair that they all wonder what the future of Kelex will look like.
Even though Lex isn’t the face of it—Kevin is—everyone has now heard of Alexander Coleman and the company he co-founded.
A few investors are already distancing themselves from Kelex, and some who were in the process of investing are getting cold feet.
On the plus side, though, we’ve gotten a massive surge of interest in our apps.
People all over the country, even the world, are discovering what we do and taking an interest in it.
That’s why the stock has been up and down since the arrest. People can’t decide if all this is good or bad publicity.
So, until the trial, Kev says we need to keep our heads up and act as if all this is a monumental mistake.
Despite my best efforts, it’s hard to pretend.
It takes everything I have not to break down in the middle of my days.
I come in, work, smile, have a quick cry in the bathroom, talk, smile some more, and go home, exhausted, all of my willpower drained by the efforts of the day.
Although I thought it would, it doesn’t get easier with every day that passes.
In fact, the weight pressing on my shoulders seems to increase, as well as the guilt I feel within.
Kevin tried to convince me this isn’t my fault, and even Lex insisted on it.
But deep down, I can’t deny the fact that I’m the reason all this happened.
Lex went after Stefano because of me. He confessed he was Nammota to me. He wanted to take the deal for me. Had I not been in the picture, he’d still be free. A little lonely, maybe, but at least not in jail.
“Have you had any news?”
Although the question comes from Mason’s spot next to me, the voice is Oliver’s. I look away from my screen, where I wasn’t really doing anything, and see that Mace left at some point, and Oli is in his seat.
“About Lex?” I ask.
“Yeah.”
I can barely hold back a sigh as I explain, “No, not yet. His lawyers say it’s normal. For a high-profile inmate like him, it can take up to a week until he’s processed.”
Oli must sense my distress because he gives me a contrite smile. “I’m sure he’ll call as soon as he can.”
“He better.”
The humor I try to lace with my words falls flat. Probably because I’ve been worried sick since the preliminary trial, over a week ago. Lex was transferred to a federal prison in Oregon a couple of days after the disastrous hearing, and the only news we’ve had since has been from his lawyers.
Oli, forever the knight in shining armor, bends toward me and asks, “Do you want to go grab beers after work? You can vent all you want and get it all off your chest.”
I force my lips into a grin. “Thank you, but I have plans.”
“Oh, I see.”
Because I don’t want him to think I’m going out and having fun, I feel compelled to add, “I’m heading to Lex’s place to do some cleaning up. They left a mess after the search, and I haven’t had the heart to go handle it.”
“Do you want some help?” he kindly offers.
“That’s very sweet, but no, thank you.”
I’m pretty sure I’ll spend the whole time crying my eyes out, so it’s definitely better if no one’s there to see.
Mason chooses that moment to return, chasing Oli with a dismissive hand. “Move over, carrot top. And stop trying to hit on my girl. Homeboy is in jail, not dead.”
Oli is as surprised as I am to hear Mace’s insinuations, and I see the way he panics, worried I’ll see any truth in our friend’s words. “Jesus, that’s not what I was trying to—” he tries to explain, getting up from the chair. “Andy, I promise I wasn’t—”
“I know, don’t worry,” I reassure him. “Mace, stop being such a dickhead.”
“Making cute redheads blush is my second-favorite pastime. Sue me.”
Being called cute makes Oli blush even redder, and I’m happy that I’m not the one with that problem, for once.
That brief moment, even though it wasn’t much, lifts my heart more than I expected. I might feel lonelier than I ever have, but I actually am surrounded by friends and family. Unlike Lex, who has no one right now.
Ah, fuck, there I go being sad again …
Per usual these days, I’m out as soon as five o’clock comes. I have a small bag with some things for the night and a change of clothes for tomorrow. Given the state of Lex’s apartment, I’ll need more than one evening to return it to its pristine norm.
I haven’t set foot in Lex’s building in two weeks, but the memory of Kev and me passing this glass door feels like yesterday.
Still in shock from everything that was happening, we came to see the damage and, more importantly, see if the federal agents who searched Lex’s apartment had blown the secret door wide open or not.
“Miss Walker, welcome back,” the concierge says from behind his desk.
“Hey, Ramone. Was everything alright with the repairmen?”
“Yes, they fixed the door and changed the locks. I have the new set of keys right here for you.”
He opens a drawer to his left, shuffles through its contents a little, and pulls out a key ring with three identical keys on it.
It’s not the same kind as before, and that stupid little detail hurts more than it should.
Mere weeks have passed since Lex gifted me with a key so I could come and go as I pleased, and that memory is already tainted by this whole mess.
After thanking Ramone, I head to the elevator and up.
As I walk through the hallways toward Lex’s door, I wonder if maybe I was wrong to come here alone.
Having Oli with me would have helped, at least a little.
Kevin knows I’m doing this, so maybe I can ask him to come and assist me tomorrow.
It’ll be Saturday, after all. Shelly and little Maddy could join us as well, so there’s a bit of life in all that desolation.
If the key is different, the door isn’t. It looks exactly the same as it did before they blew it open with a battering ram.
My hand shakes as I try to fit the new key in there, my nerves frenzied. One turn, two turns, and the door opens. After a deep and soothing breath, I push the panel. Even though I’ve seen it before, there’s nothing familiar about this sight.
The whole apartment has been turned upside down, down to the last couch cushion and drawer. They haven’t left a single stone unturned, and I’d venture that not finding anything that could tie Lex to Nammota only pushed them to dig deeper and deeper.
My eyes drift to the Pollock-like painting, still untouched in this mess, and behind it, the secret door they never found.
“Good afternoon, Andrea,” Iris’s synthetic voice greets me. “It’s been a while since I last saw someone.”
“Hey, Iris. Sorry, I meant to come sooner, but I wasn’t ready yet.”
“It’s alright, I understand. Do you have news about Alexander?”
I hold back a sigh. I can’t even get any respite here, even though I’m technically alone. “No, not yet. They’re still processing him.”
“I see. Last time you were here, you were accompanied by Kevin Langley, so I couldn’t proceed with the Ragnarok Protocol. Would you like me to do so now?”
My eyebrows come together. “The … Ragnarok Protocol?”
“Yes. Alexander was prepared for this outcome, so he came up with a protocol to handle its aftermath.”
“Okay, tell me more,” I say, removing my coat to hang it on the rack.
“In case of a perquisition, I’m meant to remain undetected while I watch over the events.
If agents are ever to show an interest in the hidden room, the protocol demands that I initiate a sequence that will completely erase the content of the servers and computer within the room, leaving behind no data that could incriminate Alexander. ”
“Wow, that’s clever.”
“Alexander is a very clever man. My program being on those servers, though, this protocol comes with a self-destruct implication.”
“I’m glad you didn’t have to do it, then.”
“When Alexander granted you full access to my commands, he also gave you the ability to initiate the protocol. Would you like me to run the sequence?”