Chapter 08 #2
“Baby, what have they done to you?” I whisper, my hand still over my mouth.
“Nothing I didn’t do to them first.” Only then do I notice the cuts and bruises on his knuckles.
“They told me you started a fight. Why?”
“Because this is a prison, Andrea. I don’t know what it looks like from out there, but from in here … It’s ugly, and dangerous, and it brings out the worst in people.”
“I thought you were doing okay. You told me you were.”
“I thought I was, too. This is why you can’t see me after we’ve lost the trial,” he explains.
“How’s that relevant?”
“I’m going to change—I already am. I have to for my survival. With every passing day, the man you love disappears a little more. I don’t want you to be there by the time he’s entirely gone.”
“I’ll forever love you, no matter who you become,” I profess, probably naively.
He shakes his head. “I need you to remember me the way I used to be, not the way I’ll become.”
“I will forever remember that side of you. But I can also love whoever you’ll become. I know you, I know whatever happened there wasn’t some irrational act of violence. What did they say to you?”
He turns away again, staring to his left. “Lex, I’m not leaving until you tell me.”
Frustrated that I can’t let it go, he gives me an irked scowl. “One of them saw you in the visitation room. His friend is getting released soon, and either I wired them money, or that friend would pay you a visit once out.”
So, that’s what happened? He lost his temper over me, fought two guys because they were threatening me, not him. I don’t even know what to say, feeling guilty for being the reason he got into trouble.
“You’re my weakness, Andrea,” he gravely continues. “And I can’t have a weakness. It’s dangerous for you and for me. It gives people a point of entry, it gives them leverage. If I have nothing, then they can’t get to me, they can’t reach me.”
“But I want to be here for you. I want to help you get through it.”
“You can’t. No one can.”
His definitive tone breaks my shattered heart into tinier pieces. I’ll never change his mind, will I? And as much as I hate it, I understand his reasoning. What happened proves I’m dangerous for him.
His family will be fine. They have their money, their security details …
Kev and Eva have the means to protect themselves, too.
But me, I’m just Andy. I’m a random woman he’d do anything for, an average person anyone can use to threaten him.
I’m a dangerous variable in his life, one he needs to cut loose, for both our sakes.
Being pregnant would have put him through even more danger. Even our child’s life could have been threatened, and the thought makes me sick to my stomach. Maybe the tests being negative wasn’t a bad thing, after all.
Fuck, he was right. We need to stop this after the trial. We need to part ways because our love can’t become a weapon against him.
“I can’t keep coming here if we lose the trial. You were right,” I admit, wiping away a couple of tears on my cheeks.
“I’m always right.” There’s a hint of humor in his tone, which makes me giggle through the sadness.
His handsome, battered face offers little comfort, but I force myself to keep looking at it. No matter how much it hurts to see him like this, I need to remember what I did to him. I must remember this is what happens if I’m around past the trial.
“I guess we’d better win that fucking trial,” I say with determination.
“I guess we’d better, yes.”
“Did you get any news during your week in the SHU?”
“I was allowed phone calls to my lawyers, so they updated me.”
“They knew you were in isolation?”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t they tell us?”
“Because I asked them not to. I didn’t want you or Kev to know because I had a feeling you’d try to do something about it.” He looks around the booth, a slight smirk dancing on his busted lips. “I guess I was right.”
“You can thank me later. What did your lawyer say? What’s new?”
Lex tucks the phone between his shoulder and ear, and with both hands, he signs the word “Recording,” while pointing at the phone’s holder on the partition. Shit, of course these discussions are recorded … And whatever we say can probably be used against him in court.
“Call Goldberg. He’ll let you know,” Lex says.
Fuck, that can’t be good. “Anything we can do to help?”
“Not really. At this point, all that’s left to do is sit and wait. The prosecution is still building their case, my lawyers, too, and that’s about it.”
Disheartened, I look down at the counter between us. Shit, it really is out of our hands. I feel as helpless as he probably does, wishing there was something, anything I could do to get him out of here.
Because we can’t lower our voices to speak of incriminating matters like we used to in the communal room, I decide to change the subject.
“I’ve had new ideas for the trip we’re taking when you get out.”
This is all we have left for now. The dream of a future. Invented adventures we might never experience together.
“Really?” he asks, his mood already lighter.
During the little time we have left, we plan the perfect vacation together, agreeing on a few new terms, setting more rules, and making requests. We get lost in the fantasy, so absorbed by it I can almost hear the slow waves rolling in, the wind in the coconut trees …
But while the bad things have no end in sight, the good ones are too short-lived. A guard comes to take Lex away while another one arrives to escort me out.
My heart weighs a ton as I walk back to the Mercedes.
As soon as I’m in the cold, confined space, I pull out the flip phone I’ve been carrying around and call Goldberg’s firm.
It’s Saturday, but with the rates Lex is paying them, I sure hope they’re available 24/7.
I give my name to the receptionist and wait for Goldberg to take the call, distractedly listening to the classical piece that runs.
It has looped twice by the time Lex’s lawyer picks up. “Miss Walker, my apologies. I was with a client.”
“It’s alright, thank you for taking my call.”
“Of course. Anything I can do for you?”
“Yes, I just saw Alexander, and he told me to call you so you’d update me on what’s been happening.”
“You saw Mr. Coleman?” he hesitantly wonders.
“Oh, yeah. I got him out of isolation. Commissary and phone privileges should be reinstated, too.”
“Good job, Miss Walker. I’m sorry we couldn’t let you know about the situation.”
“I know he asked you to keep it under wraps. Anyway, I’m told you have some news?”
He doesn’t answer right away, but I can hear him hesitate on the other side of the line. “This is a prepaid phone,” I explain. “I paid cash, and only two people know this number. And I’ll venture they can’t tap from your end, as it would be inadmissible in court.”
“Mr. Coleman told us you were very clever. Thank you for taking such precautions. We heard earlier this week that the prosecution had filed new evidence. It looks like they subpoenaed PTO logs from Avoss and Kelex, from back when Nammota was active.”
“And?”
“Mr. Coleman’s few vacation days seem to coincide with Nammota’s timeline. All of his paid time off occurred a couple of weeks prior to Nammota’s known hits.”
Shit … “That doesn’t look good for him, does it?”
“No, it doesn’t. We’ve also agreed on a trial date with the judge, which means they might have more, but haven’t filed the evidence yet.”
“There’s a date?”
“Yes, it’ll be made public next week. We’re going to trial on June twenty-eighth.”
That’s in four months. Almost to the day. I could have four months of Lex left. If he lets me have that much.
“Thank you, Mr. Goldberg,” I say, as if on autopilot.
“Of course. Don’t hesitate to call if you need anything else, Miss Walker.”
“Thank you. Have a good day.”
I hang up, eyes lost on the Mercedes-Benz logo on the steering wheel.
Four months is too long. Seeing Lex today showed me how close he is to breaking. Five weeks in there, and he’s already half gone. I don’t want to imagine what that much time will do to him. And I don’t want to imagine what’ll happen to him if he gets life in prison.
Nearly all the evidence they have against him is circumstantial.
Coincidences, small things that match, a strong hunch …
They don’t have a smoking gun yet. Nothing that can convince a jury, beyond a reasonable doubt, that mild-mannered Alexander Coleman is the infamous Nammota.
But they might get it. They have four months to find it, which could be plenty enough.
I’m not letting that happen. No fucking way. I can’t sit there and do nothing for four months, crossing my fingers and praying that everything will be fine. I’ll go fucking mad if I have to, just like Lex.
I don’t know how long I stay in the car, trying to think through the growing panic within me. It takes the prepaid phone buzzing in my distracted hold to rip me out of it. When I check, I immediately recognize the number.
“Oli?” I say as I pick up.
“They found something. Several things.”
Jesus, more bad news … “What?”
“A text file. A list. The record says they found it on one of Lex’s old hard drives. It contains names of politicians, senators, governors, elected officials …”
“Why is it bad?”
“The metadata. Three months after he created that file, every single one of those names was on Nammota’s ‘Laundry List’ hit, plus a few more.”
Jesus Christ. I know exactly what Oli’s talking about.
Lex dug deep into several high-ranking politicians and exposed their involvement with problematic entities.
Bribes, payments disguised as donations, offshore accounts with hidden money …
Lex had plastered it on a public website for all to see.
I still remember how it took the feds months to take down the website.
By then, most of those politicians had resigned or were removed from their positions, and half of them faced justice in the years that followed.
If the prosecution really has that list and it predates the hit, then it’s really, really bad for Lex. They officially have their smoking gun.
“You said they found several things?” I say, scared to hear it.
“They haven’t logged the rest yet, but I found an email between Collins and their tech guy. He says there’s more.”
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. They might have several smoking guns, then. Enough to keep Lex in there forever.
I can’t let that happen. I won’t.
Four months. I have four months to put an end to all this. Maybe less if I can, to save Lex from that place and from himself. From his defense mechanisms that’ll leave nothing behind.
And I know exactly how to do it.
The one thing that can get him out.
The last fucking resort.
Our only chance.
“Can you meet me at the bar where Steven took us the other day?” I ask Oli.
“The one with the Lego wall?”
“Yes. Meet me there in four hours. We need to talk.”