20. Jane
20
JANE
A s I slowly opened my eyes and took in my surroundings, confusion washed over me.
Where am I?
Then it all came back to me. I was at Jackson’s.
I still couldn’t get over how kind he’d been to me. Hugging me on the beach, running to open up the library, bringing me my favourite biscuits, taking me out for dinner. Then literally saving me by inviting me to stay.
Jackson was top-tier book boyfriend material.
Not that he was my boyfriend, of course.
When Candace had said she thought we were a couple, I’d been mortified. He had been too, which was obviously why he’d set the record straight so quickly.
I’d done the same, telling Candace we were just friends because I didn’t want to embarrass Jackson or make things any more awkward because I assumed he had a girlfriend. I was so shocked when he said he didn’t.
I mean, yeah, he’d never mentioned having one, but look at him .
How was someone like him still single?
He was unbelievably kind and caring too. So much so that he even worried about whether Rocco, a fictional male character, was disrespecting Virginia by telling her to get on her knees and give him a BJ.
When he mentioned that scene, my whole body sparked. I’d reread it dozens of times, wishing that I had the power to drive a man that I liked that crazy with desire.
If Virginia wasn’t massively attracted to Rocco and into the whole dirty talk thing, or if he was pressuring her to do something she didn’t want to, then of course it’d be creepy. But I knew they were so hot for each other.
And because I’d already read the whole book, I also knew that it wouldn’t be long before Rocco was on his knees, returning the favour to Virginia and then some.
In fact, Rocco went down on her a lot more than she did for him and those scenes were even hotter. They’d lived rent-free in my head for weeks. Now that I thought about it, I’d even written some comments in the margins. Cringe . There was no way that Jackson wouldn’t read those.
Having a man go down on me was one of my ultimate fantasies. But I’d also thought about what it’d be like to do that to a man.
When I read about blow jobs in romance novels, there seemed to be a lot of licking, sucking and head bobbing, but I had no idea if you were supposed to follow a particular technique and, if a guy was big, how to fit it in without gagging.
And what did a dick taste like? Some characters swallowed the man’s semen, but I also wondered how much came out and what that tasted like too .
Embarrassment washed over me. It was shameful that I didn’t know the answers to these questions at my age.
When I’d come out of the shower yesterday and seen Jackson in the hallway, for a second I’d wondered what it’d be like if he picked me up and carried me to his bedroom.
Even though I had zero experience, I’d get on my knees for him in a heartbeat. I’d almost accidentally said as much when I’d thanked him and said that one day I hoped I could return the favour .
Thankfully he hadn’t realised what I meant. Anyway, even if he did, it wouldn’t exactly be a tempting offer. What man would want to get their dick sucked by a woman who had no idea what she was doing? I’d probably end up scraping or biting him with my teeth.
Maybe I should practise on a banana to see if I left any teeth marks.
I was supposed to be working out a way to get some experience, but with all of the stuff going on at home, I’d been distracted.
My alarm went off, pulling me out of my thoughts. I was dying for the loo, so quickly raced up the stairs.
Just as I was about to touch the bathroom door handle, the door opened and I came face to face with Jackson.
Oh. My. God.
I said that I came face to face with Jackson, but what I really meant was that I came face to face with his chest.
His bare chest.
I could tell from the way his clothes clung to his body that he was muscular but I’d never imagined this.
Gone was the slim, boyish chest I’d seen whenever we went to swimming classes at school. And in its place were perfectly defined pecs, abs and everything.
It was so impressive that I wanted to reach out and touch it to see how it felt.
This was the kind of chest that hot underwear models had. Not real people. Not people I knew and went to school with.
My eyes followed a drop of water as it trickled down his chest, along his abs, until it disappeared beneath the white towel wrapped around his waist.
I swallowed hard as desire coursed through me.
Underneath that towel was Jackson’s dick.
And I bet it was magnificent.
Not that I had anything to compare it to, of course. But I bet it was like the ones I read about in romance novels: long and thick.
A fantasy of me dropping to my knees and wrapping my lips around it flew into my head. I bit my lip and my nipples instantly hardened. I could already feel the wetness pooling between my legs as I pictured him gripping the back of my head and pushing himself deeper into my mouth. Just like Rocco did to Virginia.
‘S-sorry,’ Jackson said.
My eyes flicked up to his face for a second, but as beautiful as it was, it wasn’t Jackson’s face I wanted to admire right now.
Don’t look at his chest.
Don’t look at his chest.
Don’t look…
My gaze dropped to his chest, where it lingered for a few seconds before quickly moving back up to meet his eyes, which were the colour of charcoal .
We stared at each other for I don’t know how long. I was hypnotized. I couldn’t draw my eyes away from him.
‘I should…’ He broke the silence and took a step back to create some distance. ‘I… we should leave soon.’
‘Yes!’ My voice came out high-pitched. ‘ Totally . I… I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were naked. No, that came out wrong,’ I babbled. ‘It’s not like you’re standing here with your bits out. Although technically you are, naked underneath, that …’ I gestured towards his towel, then swallowed hard when I saw the outline of a very large, very hard-looking cock straining against the fabric.
Wait.
He was hard.
Had I made that happen?
No. Must be that morning wood thing men got. I thought that was just when they woke up, but what did I know?
‘I…’ My brain turned to mush as I started to imagine what Jackson’s erection would look like. ‘I should’ve knocked.’
‘It’s fine,’ he growled. His voice was even deeper than normal, which was hot. ‘I should go.’
He stepped forward, his body now just inches away from mine.
‘Yeah.’ I swallowed again before realising that I was blocking the doorway. ‘Sorry!’ I stepped back in the hallway to give him room to get out.
‘Meet downstairs in about half an hour?’ he said.
‘Okay.’
I raced into the bathroom and locked the door behind me.
Bloody hell. I’d never been so turned on in my life .
Thanks to the desire racing through me right now, I literally felt like my blood was on fire.
Jackson’s chest.
Jackson’s hard dick poking out from the towel.
I wished I could’ve touched it.
A pain shot through my bladder and I remembered that I needed to wee.
After plonking myself on the toilet and emptying my bladder, I went to wipe myself.
I was soaking. Looked like I needed another shower.
I looked over at the showerhead. The urge to use it to relieve myself was strong.
Typically, if I ever felt the need (usually after reading something spicy), I would use my hands in bed. But I could never fully relax, because I wasn’t allowed to have a lock on my bedroom door, so the only place I knew I was really safe to touch myself was in the shower.
I’d take my phone in with me and play music to drown out any noise, just in case the shower stream didn’t cover it.
But even though I wanted to, it wouldn’t be right to do that in Jackson’s house. And I’d left my phone downstairs.
The vision of him standing there in a towel was going to play on repeat in my head until the end of time.
No. I shouldn’t.
I tried to distract myself by thinking about other things. I took in the sight of the faded avocado-green tiles which matched the bathroom sink and toilet.
Then my eyes drifted to the shelves, where there was a bottle of shaving gel, and body lotion in dark packaging. I couldn’t see any of his mum’s products. Everything on display was very clearly Jackson’s. Maybe his mum preferred to keep her stuff in the cupboard under the sink or in her room.
I got off the toilet seat and washed my hands. But when I looked at myself in the mirror, my rock-hard nipples were poking through Jackson’s T-shirt. I lifted the fabric up to my nose and inhaled. It smelt like him. Fresh and spicy.
I rubbed my nipple with one hand and the other trailed along my thigh, then dipped between my legs. As my fingers skimmed my throbbing clit, a moan escaped from my mouth.
Then I knew I didn’t have a choice. I had to touch myself in the shower.
Immediately.
My head was spinning. My body was aching.
If I didn’t find a way to release the pressure building inside of me, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate at work today.
I stepped into the shower, turned it on, adjusted the setting on the showerhead, then held it in front of my pussy as I replayed the image of Jackson in just his towel.
But this time I created my own fantasy.
This time, when he stepped forward, Jackson’s towel dropped to the floor and he really was standing there naked.
Then he peeled his T-shirt off my body, and this time, he dropped to his knees and buried his head between my legs.
As I ran my fingers over my clit, I imagined it was Jackson’s tongue. The water pressure added to my arousal and before I knew it, I felt the ripples of pleasure building.
‘Yes,’ I panted, circling my sensitive spot and bringing the shower head closer. Desperate for more friction, I increased the pressure of my fingers rubbing against my clit. ‘Oh, Jackson, yes… just like that. More.’
The wave ripped through me like a tsunami and I cried out before sliding down to the base of the shower and slumping against the wall.
Wow.
I hadn’t realised how much I’d needed that.
‘Jane?’ Jackson knocked at the door. ‘I thought I heard you call me. You okay?’
Crap.
‘I’m fine,’ I replied quickly, trying to catch my breath. ‘Just finishing in the shower.’
Literally.
Shame washed over me. I couldn’t believe I’d just masturbated in Jackson’s shower.
What was wrong with me?
He’d heard me call his name. Imagine if he knew what I was doing.
My attraction to Jackson was totally out of control.
And I had no idea how to stop it.