Chapter 1 #2
Her sponsors, who always seemed more interested in her staying conventionally attractive than whether she won matches.
Her coach, who’d already moved on to working with the next sixteen-year-old phenom who’d had a tennis racket in hand before they could walk.
Her long-term ex-boyfriend—that one still stung.
After six years, he hadn’t even had the decency to break up with her. She’d walked in on him accidentally, in the apartment in Boston where he resided and where she spent as much time as she could, given her busy tour schedule.
She tried not to think about how happy she’d been a year ago, when the steps of her future seemed to be falling in line. At the time, it had felt more like a ladder she was methodically climbing than a row of dominoes, just waiting to be toppled.
Her plan had been to give tennis her all for the next three years, after which she’d retire from the pro circuit and move back to Boston to be with Grant full-time.
They’d start trying for a family, and eventually, she wanted them to move back to Stoneport.
It was easier not to think about when life had been going well, when her ex’s betrayal had felt like a survivable blip on her way to something greater.
Now, with her life in shambles, it had seeped into the edges of her consciousness, her mind picking at it like a scab she couldn’t let heal.
“I can see it on your face,” Hallie said. “You’re spiraling.”
It was only then Sydney became aware of how hard her fingertips were digging into the back of her neck, like she was trying to massage the thoughts out of her.
She dropped her hand back into her lap. “I’m not spiraling.”
Top professional athletes with years of mental conditioning didn’t spiral . They formulated a plan and then got back to work.
So why, why , couldn’t she make herself do just that?
Professional tennis was done. Grant was definitely done. There was nothing for her in Boston or Florida.
Her parents, well intentioned though they were, had started to give her a look , like they were growing concerned about her mental health.
Well, they could join the club.
So she’d packed a bag and bought a one-way ticket to New England, intent on staying for at least a few weeks.
It’s not like she had anywhere else to be.
Everything in Florida reminded her of the life she’d lost. She’d wake up in her bed, muscles already stretching out in anticipation of her morning workout, only to realize there was no reason to head to the court.
And her specialized diet? Now pointless. At least her second-chance romance with M&M’s was a bright spot on an otherwise bleak horizon.
She’d let Sara, her agent, know that she was going incommunicado, with the promise she wouldn’t be caught in any compromising positions.
Sara seemed to believe that there would be life after professional tennis, in terms of possible sponsorships and job opportunities, but Sydney didn’t have the mental fortitude to consider that right now.
Even if she could conceive of her new reality, it felt almost impossible to feel excited about it.
“You can stay here as long as you need. Coming back here to reset was the right choice. It’s a good plan,” Hallie stressed.
Sydney pulled her blanket more tightly around her. “That was something day-one me told you. I’m now day-four me, and things are different. I’m a woman changed by the brutality of the world.” But she had to give her friend credit for being such an active listener this past week.
Hallie lifted an eyebrow. “Three days to complete defeat, King? That doesn’t sound like the person I used to know.
You competed in our final tennis match of the sophomore season when you had that horrible flu.
” It was the last match she’d competed in at the high school level before starting full-time, private training at the Manhaven Tennis Center.
She shuddered, feeling like she could still taste the awful tinge in her mouth from all those years ago.
“And how’d that go?” Hallie pushed, ignoring Sydney’s obvious unwillingness to participate in this pep talk.
Sydney muttered something unintelligible, sinking impossibly lower into the couch.
Hallie moved closer to her, standing above Sydney with her hands on her hips. “What’s that again?”
When the incident in question had happened, she’d been starting to get interest in colleges, and clinching the top spot and an undefeated season at a school like Stoneport was exactly the feather in her cap that she needed to start realizing her dreams.
“I won,” she admitted, loud enough for Hallie to hear this time .
“Hell yeah, you won! And then you went and barfed your brains out in the bathroom. Like the champion you are.”
That earned a laugh from Sydney, though she refused to acknowledge the high five Hallie was leveling in her direction. “I think that was more than the flu.”
“Who gets stressed after the competition is over?” Hallie protested.
“Someone with a ten-step life plan. That was step two, with step three happening imminently.”
Hallie put her hand down, finally accepting defeat. “What was step three?”
“Training at Manhaven Tennis Center before getting a full ride to Walker College.”
“Which, again, you succeeded at.” Hallie smiled, a comforting gesture that the dimple in her right cheek pop.
“A lot of good that did me,” she lamented, hating the irritation in her own voice.
“Sydney.”
She looked up to find her friend’s smile gone.
“Hallie.” Sydney stretched her arms over her head, her forearms prickling with the sudden exposure to the air conditioning.
“You need to leave this room. It’s been a week, and I’m starting to get concerned about a vitamin D deficiency.”
“I drank that smoothie you made me yesterday,” Sydney countered.
She unfolded her leg and placed both bare feet on the floor before she stood up slowly, giving her muscles time to acclimate to the severe change of—yeah—a standing position.
How the mighty had fallen. “And to be fair, it’s only been four days. ”
“Your life isn’t over, Syd.”
“Well, it definitely doesn’t feel like it’s starting.” Petulance, party of one.
“You’re only twenty-eight.”
“With no prospects,” Sydney said in her best impression of an upper-class English accent. She knew she wasn’t winning any awards for it.
“Better none than the one you had,” Hallie volleyed back.
Sydney winced. That one was fair, even if it hurt.
“I just don’t want to be the hot tennis player who peaked too soon.
” It had always been a fear in the back of her mind.
Her game spoke for itself, but she knew that sponsorships had been more plentiful and post-match attention more common because of her face and her body.
At five-ten, she’d filled out in the hips and the chest in a way that earned her appreciative glances.
It couldn’t be avoided, and while she tried to use her looks responsibly, sometimes it felt like they were more important than her talent.
Hallie walked across the room and stood in front of Sydney.
She reached her hands up and pinched her best friend’s cheeks.
“I’m sorry that your injury didn’t come with the doubly emotional turmoil of disfigurement.
You should have gotten hurt trying to save a litter of kittens from a burning building or something.
And, in focusing on the positives,” Hallie continued, “you get to stay in this beautiful house on the water.”
“It’s a hotel room.”
“First of all, it's a suite. And it’s free.”
Sydney cupped her hands around Hallie’s and sighed. She’d missed her best friend, especially these last few years when it had felt like everything was falling apart around her. “I’m sorry I’m being such a baby.”
The always understanding Hallie squeezed her fingers. “You’ve had a hell of a year.”
She stepped away from her friend, over to the window that looked out toward the beautiful, rocky shoreline she’d once called home. “Nothing is the way I thought it’d be. And, on top of that, I’m frustrated with myself for how poorly I’m adapting.”
“Again I will reiterate: You’ve been through a lot. Tennis.” A punctuated silence, one that Sydney knew would be filled with something else she didn’t want to discuss. “ Grant.”
Still, she blanched at his name. “Don’t remind me about the last one. I cannot believe I was so stupid .”
Hallie’s tone matched her own. “He’s the stupid one. He threw away an amazing partner and person. People like him are very good at keeping everyone in the dark.”
Hallie grew quiet for so long that Sydney wondered if her friend had left her to wallow.
Pulling herself away from the lull of the waves as they crashed against the short cliff at the edge of the property, she turned to face her.
“Hallie, are you okay?” Sydney knew that she’d been a lot the past few days, but she’d be fine. This was just a difficult time. “Really, I’m going to be?—”
“I need to tell you something.”
She hated the look on Hallie’s face, hands clasped together in front of her. It was the same stance she’d had when they were growing up and she knew her parents were going to be mad about whatever she’d done. Or, more accurately, whatever they’d done.
Trying to hide a kitten in Hallie’s bedroom when they’d been ten, for example. Not the best idea, considering she’d grown up sharing this two-bedroom suite with her parents when they’d managed the inn. They’d named him Stoner, missing the accidental joke by a mile until they were both older.
Then there was the time they’d tried to pierce one another’s ears. Sydney’s scream was so loud it had caused a guest walking through the hallway to go to the front desk in concern.
In retrospect, that should have been Sydney’s first clue that she didn’t exactly take difficult situations in stride.
They’d always been in trouble together , so it felt strange for Sydney to be standing on the outside of whatever tumult was coursing through Hallie, unable to read her mind.
Her body buzzed. “What is it?”