Chapter 15 #3
“Is Hallie expecting you for anything today?” Sydney hedged, trying to make sure they were on the same page.
If they weren’t, she needed to start some deep breathing exercises and throw herself into the pool, pronto.
Reese shot her a disarming glance before her face grew more serious. “I just want to make sure that…”
Sydney’s fingers stilled against Reese’s leg, wondering what she’d say next.
Make sure this isn’t a bad idea?
Make sure their expectations align?
Make sure Sydney was going to melt into a puddle with how much she wanted this?
“I want to make sure this isn’t to avoid any decisions you’re putting off making,” Reese finished with another look thrown in Sydney’s direction.
She shook her head quickly. “No, this is not that.”
“But you do need to let your agent know by tomorrow, right?”
Sydney didn’t appreciate how the question was shifting her back into reality. To decisions and insecurity and confusion about what came next.
So maybe she had wanted to avoid it a little bit.
And she didn’t know if it made it better or worse that Reese Devereux so clearly had her number.
Reese turned her blinker on before turning onto the road that would take them back to The Stone’s Throw. “And I’m not trying to be pushy. Honestly. I just…”
Sydney’s heart beat a little faster when Reese reached down and entangled their fingers.
“I don’t want to be something that’s an escape for you, Sydney.
I know that much.” And that same heart skipped at least a full beat when Reese’s words sank in, when she let the softness of Reese’s voice melt through her veins.
This wasn’t an escape. It was so far from that.
It was just easier to pretend that along with everything else going on in her life, this didn’t have the ability to send her life careening if it imploded.
But it was Reese she’d confided her deepest insecurities in, who’d given her the space but also built the trust to talk about and work through her messy feelings.
And it was Reese…
It was Reese.
“I have feelings for you,” Sydney blurted out, surprising them both, the words hanging like a living, breathing thing between them.
But once she admitted it, she found that she wanted to keep going.
“It’s not just attraction, though I do recognize that’s a very, very real feeling that I have, too,” she said with a shy smile.
Reese’s stare turned toward her again, her own face dusted with a soft blush, though Sydney couldn’t tell how she was feeling.
Was it a blush indicating that she felt the same way? Or was it that Sydney had embarrassed herself and Reese had secondhand embarrassment for her?
They pulled into the lot at the inn, Reese still silent. For seconds that felt like excruciating minutes, Sydney waited for whatever would come next.
How had she not noticed it happening? That all the confusion swirling around in her life was taking a back seat to her growing feelings for Reese.
That, in spite of the tumult, it was because of Reese that she felt more like herself than she had in years.
That, maybe, she was even becoming a better version of herself because of it.
She didn’t want to lose that.
And she didn’t want to lose the way it felt to hold Reese in her arms, to give her the same comfort and security that was given back to her in spades.
But, the reality was, it wasn’t her decision to make.
That, truly, was the hardest thing about putting her heart in someone else’s hands .
Reese turned her full attention toward Sydney then, eyes deep and magnetic, and Sydney just wanted to fall into them. Into her. “Cards on the table?”
Sydney nodded but didn’t speak, afraid to breathe.
“I am insanely attracted to you. And I cannot believe how you can calm me down so easily, help me feel centered in spite of everything going on in my life.”
“That’s—”
“Let me finish,” Reese said, squeezing Sydney’s hand.
She gulped back her words and took a steadying breath instead.
“But we’re both in crazy places in our lives, and I do worry that once you find your center again, this place—this life—won’t be enough for you. And this thing between us is so new that I don’t want to hold you back. ”
“Is this about the commentator job?” Sydney asked, trying to make sense of everything Reese was saying. It did make sense, in a way, but it also felt like an excuse, even if that wasn’t fair.
“Partly,” Reese said, her eyes locked on Sydney.
“I think you should give it a try. Your relationship with tennis has changed, but it doesn’t need to end.
Not unless you really, truly want it to be over.
” Sydney was considering Reese’s words when she spoke again, imploringly.
“I don’t want you to be afraid to try things. To live your life.”
“In case you’ve forgotten, I was cheated on a year ago and left to pick up the pieces of my romantic life. Wanting this—wanting you —isn’t some easy thing for me. It’s hard and scary and makes me shift between wanting to jump up and down and pass out.”
“I want this, too, Sydney. And I’ll be here. But I want to take things slowly to make sure you have the time and space to explore all your options. I don’t want to be the thing you pick because it’s the safe bet.”
Was Reese not hearing her? Sydney felt the blood rushing through her ears, her heart thumping hard against her chest .
“Reese, I need you to really look at me,” she said, and Reese’s eyes lifted back upward to meet her own.
Suddenly, now that it was Reese in the hot seat, the penetrating stare from moments ago had been replaced with Reese’s desire to look anywhere else.
“You would never be some consolation prize. You are exciting and terrifying and tingle-inducing in all the best ways.” Sydney placed her finger under Reese’s chin and lifted it gently upward, her voice soft.
“But I am going to tell Sara yes because you’re right, though not for the reason you think.
I have been afraid of what comes after tennis, but me wanting you has nothing to do with running away from that. So I’ll do both.”
“Both?” Reese asked, looking dazed from the last minute of conversation.
“I’ll do the commentator tryout–”
“Which you’ll be amazing at,” Reese said, blinking the haze away, finding her footing in the conversation again as she nodded along with her own words.
Sydney flashed her a self-deprecating grin. “Sure.”
“You will be. The way you were holding court today with the party guests was… it was something else,” Reese said, awe soaked into her voice in a way that lit Sydney up from the inside out.
She wanted Reese to feel that way about her. Always.
“So you’ll try this? With me?” Sydney asked, anticipation bubbling up inside.
“Yes, Sydney. I want to do this,” Reese said with impossible softness in her voice as she dissolved the space between them and kissed Sydney.
It was slow and sweet, but it ignited the desire from earlier, magnified now that there was no confusion standing between them.
The kiss wound through her body, settling deeply inside of her, beginning to fill in the cracks that the last year had left.
“We should really get you out of that. Make sure it didn’t stain, and all that,” Reese said. When she finally pulled away, Sydney was so wound up she felt like she may burst into flames.
Sydney nodded. “Yes. Good idea.”
They were out of the car within seconds, Reese finding Sydney’s hand as she led her toward the inn.
If Hallie was at the front desk, she’d give a half-hearted wave and blow past her best friend, her singular focus now on getting her and Reese behind closed doors as soon as humanly possible.
And just like she’d expected when they entered the doors, Hallie was standing at the counter. She moved to wave but Hallie’s hands were already up in the air, frantically trying to get her attention. Her mouth was moving, but no words were coming out, and her eyes looked slightly wild.
“What?” she said, going back on her own promise as she, with her hand still in Reese’s, walked closer to where Hallie stood behind the counter.
This was weird, even for Hallie.
“Why didn’t you answer my texts?” Hallie was already saying when they reached her.
Sydney pulled her phone out of her pocket and held it up, confused. If something was wrong at the inn, Reese would have been Hallie’s first call.
“My phone died. I forgot to charge it last night. But Hal, I’ve got to, um… Reese and I need to discuss something right now. We were just heading to my room.” Sydney looked at Reese then, and Reese’s lips tipped into an amused smile that made Sydney’s stomach flutter.
“Her room,” Sydney corrected quickly, realizing her mistake. This was never about her outfit. And they’d have much more privacy there.
It was all that Sydney could think about right now.
Hallie looked past Sydney’s shoulder to the sitting room, just off the inn’s lobby. “Your parents are here.”
Sydney’s head whipped around so fast she was afraid she was going to have whiplash, and Reese’s hand in hers suddenly grew clammy. “What? I just saw them yesterday.”
“And what a nice trip it was,” her mom said from behind her.
“I swear that woman has a stealth mode,” Hallie said underneath her breath at the same time Sydney shot her a side-eye.
“So much so,” her mom continued, “that we decided to make a trip up to Stoneport.”
Sydney’s face scrunched, wondering what her mom was up to right now. “Because you missed me?”
“Well, how long has it been since we were all back here together? Since well before we moved, I think?” Her mom said it like it was a question, but Sydney knew that she was aware of everything at all times, including when they’d last been all here together.
“And, well, talking about Hallie and all the big changes at the inn, and your new relationship,” her mom dropped in casually, like it didn’t sound like a bomb in Sydney’s ears, “we figured this would be a great time to surprise you and visit.”
She shot Hallie a critical stare implying, ‘Did you have something to do with this?’
Hallie shook her head forcefully and glared before lifting her hand up as if to say, ‘Absolutely not. And how dare you ask me that.’
“Where are my manners!” her mom continued, hopefully oblivious to their silent exchange. She extended her hand toward Reese. “I’m Rachel King, Sydney’s mom. I’ve heard so much about you.”
Up until thirty seconds ago, Sydney had thought she was minutes away from being wrapped up in Reese and wherever the rest of the day would take them.
It physically hurt that she could still taste Reese on her lips, and she licked them instinctively, hoping this was all just a weird dream .
But, she realized when Reese let go of her hand—she missed the warmth immediately— today was apparently going to be the day of parental interruptions.
So when Reese moved to return her mom’s gesture, shooting Sydney a small smile, Sydney already had her hand at the small of Reese’s back, tracing a soothing pattern there.
Even if she was missing out on what could be happening between them if her parents hadn’t shown up, she still wanted it all with Reese.