Chapter 35
SPENCE
‘And you’re sure you’re OK with this?’ I ask Georgia as she throws her backpack over her shoulder.
‘It’s fine, Dad, Mum…’ My knees feel like they’re going to buckle at the word. ‘Heather,’ she quickly corrects. ‘We’ll have our own cabin on the sleeper train and then she’s going to take me to Arthur’s Seat and the park.’
Heather had asked if she could take Georgia away for a weekend.
She’s politely added that I was welcome to come, but the subtext was loud and clear.
I want to get to know my daughter without you always lurking in the background.
I’d said it would have to be Georgia’s decision.
I would be lying if I didn’t say the way my daughter immediately agreed, started planning outfits and texting her friends about her trip with her Mum didn’t feel like my insides were being pulled out and hung around the room like a birthday banner.
‘Well, if you change your mind, I will come and get you. Don’t hesitate, OK?’
‘Dad, it’s Scotland, not the other side of the world. I’ll be fine. What are you going to do with yourself?’
‘I’m going to Yorkshire with Al.’
‘Oh God, she’s still obsessing about that dead guy?’
‘She’s not obsessed—’
Georgia snorts. ‘She is though.’
‘She wants to write his story and sell it. She’s just trying to get her life back.’
She quirks that eyebrow again. Does she realise she’s already starting to mimic her mum?
‘She’s had a rough time. That’s all.’
There is a knock at the door, and she pops up on tiptoes and kisses me on the cheek.
‘All set?’ Heather asks, pushing her sunglasses on her head, eyes wide and shining as she smiles at her daughter. My stomach flips. I’m white-knuckling life right now.
‘Yep!’
‘And you’ve got your EpiPen?’ I step forwards, reaching for her backpack. Georgia sidesteps, flicking her hair back from her shoulder.
‘Yeeees, it hasn’t moved from my bag since the last four times you’ve asked.’
‘You know not to let her near…’
‘Nuts or seeds. Yep,’ Heather replies. There isn’t a hint of irritation there, just reassurance.
‘And you’ve got…’
‘All her medical notes?’ she taps the large designer handbag. ‘All safe and secure.’
‘And don’t let her have too many…’
‘Pringles because they make her sick?’
‘Or…’
‘Too much Coke no matter how many times she tells me she’ll sleep. All noted.’
‘Oh my God, Dad. I’m not a baby. I can regulate my own intake of junk food.’
‘Need I remind you about last summer when I had to pick you up from—’
‘Dad!’
‘And you’ve got your eczema cream?’ Georgia glares at me. I put my hands up. ‘OK, OK.’
‘I promise to take good care of her, Spence.’ Her voice is soft.
I swallow down the sarcastic reply burning to come out. I’ve got to let go of the past. She was just a scared teenager when she left us. I can practically hear Alice’s voice, So were you, and you didn’t bolt. Instead, I double-check the fastening on Georgia’s bag.
Heather takes out a plastic folder and hands it to me. ‘Here are all the train times, and what I have planned while we’re there. I’ve highlighted the places where signal can get a bit sketchy, but I’ve bought mobile Wi-Fi so your messages should still get through with a bit of luck.’
‘Thank you.’ I’m touched by this.
‘Do you have plans while we’re away?’
‘Oh, he’s going to be trailing after Alice like a little lost puppy aren’t you, Dad?’ I frown.
‘You always were thick as thieves,’ Heather says with a guarded smile. ‘Say hi for me?’
I nod, even though I know exactly what Al would think of that.
After a few more words of reassurance and paranoia on my part, they leave.
I walk around the house a few times, debating getting in the car and heading up the M1 after them.
I lean my head against the wall of George’s bedroom, tapping my forehead against it, once, twice, three times before reaching for my phone.
‘Hey. You in?’