CHAPTER TWENTY #3
“Okay,” Cash says as he sits at the table, all calm nonchalance. I take the seat next to him, wishing I could wave a wand and be anywhere but here. “We know your vote, Seb. What’s yours, Ry?”
“It’s not even a vote,” Ryland says. “It’s just facts. If we put the business on hold while we focus on Mom and Dad’s place, we’ll lose the momentum we’ve gained, we’ll lose clients to other builders, and none of us will get a paycheck for as long as it takes us to get their house built.”
“That could be nearly a year,” Cash says. “I’m looking at buying my own place. I need a paycheck.”
“We have savings for the company, so we won’t go bankrupt,” Ryland says. “But we don’t have enough to pay our salaries for more than a few weeks.”
“Think of everything Mom and Dad sacrificed for us,” Sebastian says. “We have a roof over our heads, and I have enough in savings to buy the necessities for a year or two.”
“A year or two.” Cash’s eyes are bugging out of his head. “Are you out of your mind? We can’t pause the business for two years.”
I look over at Ryland, calculating the quickest way out of this mess.
I’m with Cash on not wanting to go without a paycheck, but Sebastian’s right too.
Our parents have been amazing. Not only did they raise and support us, but they sacrificed to save and send us all to college.
They gave us the seed money we needed to start our business.
We wouldn’t be where we are without their support.
I also don’t think it’s smart to risk losing the business they helped us build.
“Is there a middle ground, Ry?” I ask. “A way we can carve out more time for Mom and Dad’s house, maybe take a pay cut, but still keep the business running well enough to get stable in this community?”
“Halfway is bullshit,” Sebastian says.
Unlike me, Ryland is unfazed by Seb’s bluster. “I’ve run those numbers too. In my opinion, the smartest way to do this would be to take a little longer on Mom and Dad’s house, and give ten percent of our time and resources every month to it.”
“Not acceptable,” Sebastian says. “Mom doesn’t need to be going up and down stairs so we can continue having everything we want all the time.”
I just manage not to roll my eyes. He is such a fucking stubborn ass.
“Is there a version that might be closer to a compromise?” Cash asks, picking up on what I’m doing. As much as Cash exudes nonchalance, he hates these family fights as much as I do. Possibly more.
“There’s honestly no great compromise,” Ryland says. “The clients have to come first or we’re going to lose them.”
“We’ll find new ones,” Sebastian says, a growl to his tone.
“What was Levi’s opinion?” Cash asks.
“He believes,” Ryland says, “as I do, that we need to focus on the company. Once we’ve built a strong reputation here, we can afford to focus on Mom and Dad’s house more fully.”
“That could take years,” Sebastian says.
“So they rent a place for a while,” Ryland says. “They understand our commitments. They’re willing to wait for their house.”
“They’re not staying in some crappy rental because we’re too selfish to hustle and get their place built,” Sebastian pounds a fist on the table, looking even more like an angry Viking king.
“I’m willing to hustle,” Cash says. “I’m just not willing to sacrifice the company or my salary.”
“Give us a compromise,” I say to Ryland. “I can work nights and weekends. There has to be a happy medium here.”
“Life isn’t always happy or easy,” Sebastian says. “Bigger sacrifices than overtime need to be made.”
“Excuse me,” a gentle feminine voice says from the entryway to the dining room. “I’m so sorry to interrupt. I’m here to interview for the office manager job.”
Cash turns to look at her, and he completely freezes in shock before his expression goes soft and dreamy.
I expect to see a drool-worthy, leggy blonde, since that’s Cash’s usual type.
Instead, I see Millie from Amelia’s poker night. She’s petite and more cute than beautiful. She’s dressed in slacks and a button-down shirt that are both simple and plain. I get up, grateful for the distraction. “Hi, Millie. I’m Deacon. We met at Amelia’s?” I hold out my hand, and she shakes it.
“It’s nice to see you again,” she says, her cheeks pinking a bit. “I can come back another time. It seems like you’re in the middle of something.”
“It’s just a family debate,” I say. “It’s what happens when you’re in business with brothers.” I slap Cash’s shoulder to wake him from his stupor. “Cash, want to interview Millie?”
His glare isn’t as good as Sebastian’s, but it’s a distant fourth, after Ryland’s and Levi’s. “I’m happy to.” He stands and offers his hand. “I’m Cash Sullivan. We don’t have an office space yet, and these lugheads are taking up the table here. Would you mind interviewing on the front porch?”
She nods, but doesn’t move when Cash gestures toward the front door.
“I don’t mean to overstep, so please stop me if I am, but I couldn’t help overhearing a bit of your, um, debate.
I used to be an organizational manager for a large corporation.
If you want, I could look at your schedule and help you figure out how to best make time for your parents’ build and your client projects. ”
“That won’t—” Cash starts.
“Please.” Ryland gestures her over to his end of the table and his laptop. “I’m an architect. I build houses, not work schedules. I’ll take whatever help you can offer.”
“Ryland,” Cash says. “We can’t ask her to work before we’ve even hired her.”
But Millie’s already headed toward Ryland, her eyes lit like she’s excited about the prospect of our organizational disaster.
“Consider this her interview,” Ryland says, already pulling a chair out for Millie.
Cash deflates like his prom date just left with another guy.
I get up, grateful for the reprieve, and hurry up to my room.
A moment after I land on my bed, I’m messaging DogPerson.
DogPerson158: I was just about to message you. And I was debating with myself if it would be bothering you, since we already talked briefly today.
My heart warms. HandsyGuy37: Hearing from you is never a bother.
DogPerson158: I feel the same way. I really don’t know what I’d do without you, and I feel guilty because what I want to do is vent about my problems, and that’s not fair to you. You didn’t sign up to be my sounding board.
HandsyGuy37: Will it make you feel better if I vent to you for a bit? I can tell you about my family and all the ways in which they’re driving me up the wall.
DogPerson158: I feel better already. Tell me more.
Without giving away too many details, I tell her about the family debate. And then I ask her to tell me what’s going on with her. It wouldn’t be fair to dump on her that I know who she is when she clearly needs a friend. I’ll tell her after she vents.
DogPerson158: I’m meeting my ex-husband for lunch on Saturday.
I wasn’t prepared for that. I want to ask her where and when so I can be there in case he’s mean to her or yells at her or makes her uncomfortable.
HandsyGuy37: In a public place?
DogPerson158: We’re meeting at Tate’s Diner.
At ten. I’m hoping everyone will still be in church and we’ll have the place mostly to ourselves.
But not completely to ourselves, since there will be staff and I can run out if I need to.
My parents think I shouldn’t meet with him at all, that I should cut him out of my life, but that’s impossible in this town.
He’d so easily just go behind my back to see our kid. Am I making a mistake? Should I cancel?
I want to tell her to cancel so badly. I want to find that guy and tell him to leave them alone. But I can’t imagine my life without both of my parents. It’s not a decision I can make for Amelia or her daughter.
HandsyGuy37: I think you have to hear him out, but can you take someone with you? Just in case he gets belligerent or causes a scene.
DogPerson158: He’s not that kind of guy. I’ll be fine.
HandsyGuy37: It’s been years since you’ve seen him. What if he’s changed?
DogPerson158: We’ll be in a public place. If I brought any of my family or my friends, trust me, they’d only make things worse.
‘Take me’ is what I want to say. But that would require me telling her who I am. It would be worth it if I could keep her safe.
But how to start?
Maybe at the beginning?
HandsyGuy37: What if there was someone in your life who wouldn’t make things worse?
DogPerson158: I’m sure you’d be great, but I’m not ruining what we have over this one meal with my ex.
I start typing an answer, ready to confess it all, but she beats me to the punch.
DogPerson158: I’m not willing to do anything to risk our friendship, HandsyGuy. Sorry, but that’s where I’m at right now.
Damn it. I don’t want to ruin this thing either, but the truth will be better for her. Knowing I’m the guy she’s been hooking up with will be good news. Right?
My heart is pounding, and my mouth is dry. I need to get this exactly right, or it could ruin everything for both of us.
I decide to come at it sideways. HandsyGuy37: I want to be upfront and honest with you, DogPerson. Our friendship means everything to me, but I need you to know that I’m seeing someone. It’s not serious yet, but I’m hoping it could be. She’s an amazing person.
I hit send. I’ve dipped a toe in the water. Next step is the big reveal, but I need to know where Amelia/DogPerson’s head is at before I just drop the bomb on her.
As usual, she doesn’t say what I expect.
DogPerson185: That’s actually a huge relief.
I’ve been seeing someone myself. He’s just a good-time guy, and the relationship is entirely casual (I have no desire at all for things to get more serious, and that’s never going to change for me).
I should have told you. That’s on me. Can you forgive me?
I can’t breathe. Something is squeezing my lungs from inside my body, and I can’t manage a single breath.
I’m a good-time guy to her? Someone she’ll never even consider a serious relationship with?
Wow.
Just wow.
That one hurts.
Deep.
I thump my chest with my fist and manage to suck in some air, but I’m stunned, dazed, heartbroken.
And I have no fucking idea how to go forward.
It’s some small consolation that she sees HandsyGuy as an important part of her life, but that will change in an instant if she finds out we’re the same person.
DogPerson158: Oh, no. You’re mad. Please don’t be mad.
I should have told you, but I didn’t want you to tell me to stop seeing him, because I’m having so much fun.
Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had fun?
It’s selfish, but I wanted to keep both of you, so I didn’t tell you the whole truth, but I also didn’t make you any promises.
That doesn’t make it better. I’m a horrible, selfish person.
But I promise from now on, I won’t keep a secret like this from you again.
I can’t tell her. Telling her would be taking away two people she very clearly needs in her life while she deals with an ex who might want custody of her child.
I can’t deprive her of my fun.
And maybe…No, not maybe, definitely I can convince her I’m more than just a good-time guy. I can step up and be who she needs me to be. Because, for the first time in my life I want to be more. I want to have a relationship with this woman that’s meaningful and long-lasting.
And I can convince her I’m the right guy for her.
I just can’t let her find out the truth about who I really am. Not ever.
I slap my hands together. My heart still hurts, but I have a plan. A foolproof plan to win Amelia Burns’ heart.
HandsyGuy37: I’m not mad at all. You have a right to your personal life, and you’re under no obligation to share anything with me. I’m happy for you and your guy, even if it’s not serious.
DogPerson158: Thanks for understanding. I don’t know how long we’ll last. There’s no way he won’t find out about my daughter and I figure he’ll be outta here as soon as he does.
See, I’ve already learned an important bit of information. If I want to win Amelia over, I have to be willing to do things on her terms, and I have to accept her daughter. Or pretend I don’t know she has a daughter. One or the other.
Cash barges into the room, his expression grim. “Millie scheduled our lives, man. You need to come down and approve the plan.”
I stare at him. “Already? It’s only been what? Fifteen minutes?”
“Twenty,” Cash says. “It doesn’t matter. There’s no way Ryland and Sebastian aren’t going to insist we hire her on the spot. I’m so screwed.”
“Yeah, you weren’t exactly subtle about being into her.”
He runs a hand over his face. “I’m going to have to figure out how to cover that if I’m going to be one of her bosses for, like, forever probably.”
“It’s fine,” I say. “You don’t even know her. There’s probably a million things you’ll hate about her.”
His grim demeanor lightens a bit. “You’re right. There’s no such thing as love at first sight, anyway. She’s just a beautiful woman. She’s not my soul mate.”
I slap his back and follow him out of the room. I hope, for his sake and the sake of the business, he’s right.