Chapter 10
Dreams to her were characterized by hazy backgrounds and faraway voices. Some were harder to distinguish from reality but most, she knew, were simply that…dreams.
Amber was on set of The Love Raffle between Elouise and Conner. Her childhood home was mere feet away while her mother functioned as host. Those excited fan girls from work were the studio audience. Beca’s voice kept repeating “connections” overhead.
“Alright, so here we have a struggling musician,” said her mom. The woman’s signature floral knee-length dress was absent in this fantasy. Amber knew her to wear them under aprons but right now she sported a sparkly suit. Much different from what the actual host wore when Amber made an appearance on the show but close enough.
Elouise waved at a floating camera with wings.
“Wannabe gay icon singer.” The woman gestured to Conner who winked and struck a pose. “And of course…”
The spotlight shone right in her face. She squinted at the intensity then looked at her mom.
The woman’s brown eyes flickered to red as she frowned, and her smile turned menacing. “My daughter. Peak desperation itself.”
Amber’s eyes finally adjusted, and she stared into the enthusiastic audience. Girls were clapping and screaming. One of them got up and did a worm dance on the floor in front of the others. “God, I hope I wake up soon,” Amber muttered.
Her mother walked right up to her podium and rested an arm on top of it, looking deep into Amber’s face.
Amber was getting that childhood fear she was all too familiar with. “Hi, Mom.”
The woman’s judgmental glare flipped to a bright smile. “Hi, sweetie. Tell me, how’s Hollywood? The people want to know.” She pushed her microphone to Amber’s lips.
Amber saw each and every person smiling her way. However, their smiles were not welcoming. No. They were the types from horror films. Quite disconcerting.
Her hands trembled. “It’s been…” She worked up the nerve to look her mom in the eye. “Good. I got a part in a popular show, I’m having fun with my friends, and I met someone.”
Resounding applause. One girl stood and pumped a fist. “You tell her, Amber!”
Amber actually felt encouraged. She nodded. “Yeah. I told her, didn’t I?” She knew this was a dream but maybe it could also be her chance to do what she was too scared to do in real life. “Yeah, Mom. Everything’s great despite what you said.” She popped her collar and her friends clapped.
The woman laughed in her throat, shaking her head. “No, no, no.”
Amber saw her finger rise to point at her. Her mouth got dry. “What’s with the ‘no’s? Is it because you can’t believe I went out and did something you said I couldn’t?” More applause flew in and she grinned. “Because it happened.”
“You better believe it, baby!” Beca’s voice fell from the ceiling.
Amber looked up and saw her hanging over her and her friends. “Oh, is that why I kept hearing you say ‘connections’?” She pointed upwards as the crowd laughed.
Elouise giggled. “You’re so silly, Amber. So silly, fun, and cool. Just bursting with personality.”
“Yeah. It’s why you’ll do great in this industry. The people love you,” Conner added. Both her friends talked like human guests on Sesame Street . Uncharacteristically bright and pleasant. Their smiles gave her the heebie-jeebies.
Amber tried to accept their encouragement but this whole dream felt too off. “Okay, I feel like I’m oversleeping. I should probably go. I have work during the day. You know.” She locked eyes with her mom. The woman’s gaze was narrowed with skepticism. “Since I have gigs now?”
“Why do you suddenly have gigs again?” Her mother put her elbows on Amber’s podium.
Amber stepped back, not wanting her close. Her voice had seemed doubled just now. “Um, you know—”
“ I know!” Beca flew down from the ceiling in a red tutu and twirled in front of the stage, delighting the already ecstatic audience. Someone got on their hands and knees and flipped their hair around.
Amber was disturbed. “Can I wake up now?” She didn’t know who she asked.
Beca stood beside her mom with an arm over the lady’s shoulders. “She’s dating that movie star. No one knows about it but just by being associated with him once , she’s managed to score some roles.”
Amber’s mom laughed. “Wow. So, it took you being a prop of an actual talented person for people to notice you? Did those writers even see your audition or did they just see ‘that girl who went out with Levi Marks from that reality TV show’?”
Amber bit her bottom lip as the rest of the audience joined her mother’s mocking laughter. Even her friends were cracking up. Elouise fell to her back and kicked her legs in the air. Very unlike her. “It’s not bad to use things like that to get my foot in the door.”
“You’re not a real celebrity.” Her mother’s face dropped, and her voice did too. “If you were, his management wouldn’t push his fake relationship with—again—an actual talented person and actively deny his involvement with you. You were just a one-time thing.”
Amber crossed her arms as the mockery continued. “Well, it only makes sense. It’s showbiz. At least I know that Levi likes me. And it doesn’t matter if we can’t let the world know. Things will be easier if we keep things under wraps anyway.” She held the edge of her podium and stared at her knuckles. “I might get relegated to just ‘Levi Marks’ girlfriend.’”
“Oh, but you want to be that so bad because it takes the pressure off. You know you’ve been rejected from major roles because you don’t have what it takes. If you’re a celebrity’s plaything, you won’t have to be talented to get into the good life. All you’d need is that Levi boy.” Her mother’s teeth grew sharp like a monster’s. She shoved Amber’s podium away and stepped right up to her.
Amber backed up to the curtains. “What are you doing? Y-you don’t even know what you’re saying,” she argued.
“I do. ” Her mom’s voice was now three in one—her regular pitch, a higher pitch, and a lower one too. “I’m your mother.” They blended together to form a sinister tone.
Amber’s back hit the wall behind the curtains. All the while, the laughter continued. She saw Beca dancing around in clogs and Elouise and Conner rolling on the ground. “But that doesn’t mean anything! And I do have talent. I do.” She held her chest.
“You’ll never even be good enough to be his public girlfriend. He’ll keep hiding you and running around with someone he can actually show the world. Look at you. Do you think you’re special just because a movie star is interested in you? You’re not!” The woman’s fingers grew in length and her fingernails became razor-sharp. She grabbed Amber’s arm and yanked her towards her.
Amber screamed while fighting to be released. Slowly, the set was falling apart. The lights and ceiling crashed onto the guests. “I never said that! It’s just something nice right now! Why are you saying all of this? I-I just like him. It’s not anything about—”
“Amber?” Levi’s voice came from above.
Amber didn’t see him. She was being swallowed by her mother’s darkness. The woman was suddenly this dark shadow in a purple suit. “It’s not like that—”
“Amber!”
Amber woke, gasping for air. She took deep breaths before sitting up and holding the sides of her head.
Levi bent in front of her, his hand on her arm. “Amber, are you okay? I woke up because you were mumbling in your sleep and you sounded scared.”
Amber fought to breathe evenly with Levi’s hand stroking her shoulders. She finally relaxed and surveyed her surroundings.
The table was still set up with snacks and the TV was on. Through the nearby window over her kitchen counter, she saw the pale blue sky, indicating the early hour. “What time is it?” she asked after steadying her breaths.
Levi let go and stood up. “About five thirty? You’ve only been asleep for something like an hour.” He smiled. “The same goes for me.”
Amber suddenly felt soothed at the sight of him. Her hands were still shaky though. “God…and it’s Friday?” She had a headache. “I’ve got to get to set by nine a.m.” She rose to her feet and walked to the kitchen.
Levi picked up all the snacks and went after her. “Same here. In no time I’m going to get a call from Oscar asking where I am. He always picks me up at my place.” He sighed at the notion of leaving this tiny world.
“Babysitter?” Amber asked after opening her fridge. She closed it. “Wait, I need to clean up…” Her eyes popped as she faced him. “And you need to leave. Doesn’t the world think you’re with that Fiona girl?”
Levi put the half-eaten chips and bottle of wine on the counter. “Yeah, but no one saw me come here so the chances of paparazzi camping outside your apartment is low. Plus, no one’s really awake right now.”
“So, you want to wait for them to wake up?” Amber was still on edge from her dream. “You should go, Levi. I don’t want your team asking questions.” She held his arm and walked him to the door.
Levi’s shoulders fell. “Okay. Forgive me for not wanting this to end.”
Amber stood in front of him as he pulled his hat off the rack and sighed. “I know. Last night was…” She remembered their kiss and what they had talked about. “Magical. It’s been a while since I’ve done something like that with someone, so I’m happy things went well but…we don’t want confusion.”
Levi was sensing a rift that hadn’t been there last night. “Hey, you woke up hyperventilating.” Had she put up a wall because of that? I should give her space. “Is there…something you want to talk about?”
Amber was touched by his concern. “I…” The wild events of her dream played out in her head. The first thing she thought of was all the crazed dancing. But that wasn’t the main event. Did it mean something? “I had a really crazy dream, but I don’t want to talk about it.”
Levi’s mouth twisted in disappointment, but he understood. “Okay. You probably need space to think about that, huh?”
Amber looked away, nodding.
“Right… Well, um, when can I see you again?”
“I’ll be shooting all next week and then I have work.” Her headache was getting worse. It had started at the center of her forehead but was now spreading to behind her ears. “I’d only be available late at night but it’s kind of a bad idea to stay up all night so…next Sunday? If you have the time?”
Levi wanted to spend all day with her. “What if I paid Riverside Restaurant a visit?”
Amber felt those butterflies again. His boyish charm was infectious. “What? You’ll walk right in with your rumored girlfriend Fiona Bazoli?” she whispered.
Levi’s smile fell. “Does that bother you a lot?”
Amber shook her head. “No. I’m just thinking logically, okay, Marks? That’s it. Now get going before your babysitter starts worrying about you.”
Levi rolled his eyes. “He’s not— Okay, he kind of is my babysitter but it’s not like that.”
Amber opened the door and shoved him out. “Get out of here!” She waved a fist like an angry old person, but it was all a joke.
Levi pouted. “Okay, okay, I’m going.” He leaned back in to kiss her cheek softly before turning around to leave.
Amber closed her door and breathed out. “Now for the day at hand.”