14. fourteen
fourteen
LYSANDRA
I looked down at the text message on my phone and almost squealed. Ezra told me that the construction for the set of the movie had already begun. He also mentioned that he picked out the best locations for the most dramatic scenes.
It had only been a month since we signed the contract, which was a freakishly quick turnaround. I guess being the producer’s ex had its perks after all.
Although I found it a bit odd that the head of the production company was overseeing such small details about one of the many movies that he’d funded.
Nonetheless, I accepted his help. Perhaps he had really enjoyed my book.
Throughout the years, I noticed that he had a pattern of making books into movies.
Maybe my book was one of his favorites… I confessed that it was a bit far-fetched.
Yet I still wondered if he was always this involved with the other movies that were produced by his company.
The casting call had been sent out weeks ago, and several auditions would take place today. Part of me couldn’t believe that this was really happening. My dream. The idea that followed me for years. My past could no longer define who I was because my present had given me a new identity.
And I did it.
My loafers clicked beneath my feet as I walked to the Van Dorren Auditorium. His father, before he passed, left all his buildings, projects, and money to Ezra.
I only knew because it had been the talk of the city for months. I read about it in newspapers, saw it on the TV at the pub, and had received a ton of text messages about Ezra. Everywhere I went led me back to him. It was as if his shadows followed mine.
I had to stop thinking about Ezra so much.
This was wrong. My mind accused me of thinking more about a former relationship than my current one.
I had to remember to prepare myself mentally to be able to get married to Aldair.
He was the one for me. He had never hurt me.
Not once had he lied to me. He had everything I wanted in a man.
Kind of.
He was willing to make a lifetime commitment to me; it was only fair that I was too.
I looked down at the sparkling marquise that shone on my ring finger.
If only he knew that this was my least favorite diamond shape.
I had asked for a pear-shaped ring. I even showed him and pointed out to him the ring that I wanted.
But I was grateful that he had decided to propose with such an expensive ring.
Although there was no need to waste so much money on a rock that would perish one day.
As I walked into the auditorium, there were rows of people lined up in the dark hallways.
Most of them held up a script between their hands, and others read paragraphs from their phones aloud.
I made sure to send them slight nods. I held tighter onto my bag as my heart pulsed faster with the knowledge that many of these actors and actresses would be auditioning for a role that would represent me.
Well, no one knew that the book I wrote was a mirror of what I went through with Ezra.
Least of all, I didn’t want the entire world to know that my breakup with one of the richest men in Europe was what propelled my career.
Hopefully, Ezra didn’t realize how much his lies truly hurt me.
And my fiancé didn’t need to find out through gossip outlets that my past romance with Ezra continued to be a large part of this film project.
There had been only speculations. Rumors. There was nothing better than to leave them guessing whether it was inspired by a real-life experience or creative imagination. I loved the buzz from the fans.
When Ezra asked me about that proposal scene from my book a few weeks ago, I froze. I couldn’t process the memories to be able to come up with an excuse. I tried to leave, but I knew I didn’t want to. If I truly wanted to leave him stranded at the café, I would’ve. But I didn’t. I wanted to stay.
I continued to flash smiles at the trembling auditioners. Not being able to help myself, I overheard snippets of their conversations.
“That’s Lysandra Guerrera!”
“The author of the book…”
“I heard the book was inspired by a past love…”
The crevices of the bricks on the wall were polished, the floor beneath was tiled, and the sconces on the walls glowed a golden light.
I pushed the double doors with paned windows open, following the directions that Ezra had texted to me.
After a few turns, my heart began to race.
I had pushed through several doors. I’d gone right, then left, then followed a long hallway and gone through the right again.
This entire building was like a cursed labyrinth.
Before I knew it, I was in a dark room. Not a single glimpse of light was around. I groaned, curling my fingers inward, my nails biting into my skin. Wooden boxes lay scattered in my peripheral vision. My hands felt grimy just by thinking about the dust that surrounded me.
As I pulled out my phone, I rang Ezra. The phone rang four times before I heard his voice on the other end. “Hello?”
“Screw you and all your money,” I hissed.
“You got lost. I knew it,” he sighed, yet I could hear him smiling on the other side of the phone.
“This isn’t funny,” I muttered.
“Just a little.”
“Get me out of here,” I said.
“Okay, describe the room that you are in.”
“It’s not a room. It kind of looks like a hallway, honestly, I don’t know. There are a lot of crates and white dusty blankets covering almost every inch of the room.”
“You’re in the antique section of the building. I’ll be there soon, don’t leave. We need you here for the auditions, and they will start any minute now.”
“Fine,” I said. I turned on the flashlight on my phone, and I couldn’t help my curiosity as I neared the boxes covered in white blankets.
Particles of dust flew into my nose, causing me to sneeze.
I cleaned the tip of my nose with my sleeve and moved the top of the box off.
As I looked inside, bronze shone under the white light of my phone.
I picked up one of the figurines. Its legs were toned, highlighting the strong build of the animal.
Its hair was wavy atop its neck. I looked back inside, and there had been different figurines encompassing the crate.
“Hey, Snoopy. Like what you see?”
His voice rushed through me. I jumped, the figurine almost slipping out of my hand.
He flinched as the bronze horse stumbled between my fingers. Ezra held up his palms, slowly making his way to me, his gaze on the copper animal in my grasp. “Let’s put this back where we found it, shall we?”
“I am not a child,” I argued.
“No, you are not, yet you move like one.” Ezra grabbed the antique and slowly set it back into the crate, putting the top of the box back on and covering it up with the white sheet.
“What is all this?” I asked, extending my arms to motion the entirety of the boxes and crates in the room. Did they all have these types of antiques? Figurines?
“Just a hobby of mine. I didn’t know where else to store them, and it seemed fitting to have them here.”
“You like antiques?” I questioned.
Ezra looked around. “Yes. Is that so surprising?”
“Not really. What made you take an interest in old artifacts?”
“There was just something appealing to me about the way that I could hold onto something from the past. They have this value that most of the world doesn’t see. They are forgotten, discarded, but they are hidden, real treasures.”
We locked gazes once he finished. There seemed to be some sort of haunting emotion in his blue eyes. There’d been a distant haze in his expression, as if he’d been traveling to a far memory in the vault of his mind. I knew that look.
“Well, let’s hurry, shall we? The actors are waiting for us to let them in.”
“Of course,” I said, following after him.
It had been silent as he led me out of the storage room. We were now walking along a dim corridor. His black polished shoes clicked, syncing in unison with my shoes, which were already causing discomfort at the sides of my feet.
Perhaps it was a bad idea to wear new loafers on a day like this. I should’ve broken them in when I received them last week. I cursed myself.
Ezra smiled as we walked through and out of the hallway.
“I have to ask,” I began.
Ezra looked back at me but continued to stride.
“Why are you here? I thought the casting directors would be taking care of this portion of the production. Aren’t you just the bank account?”
He set a hand on his chest and chuckled.
“No offense,” I said.
“You offend me by thinking I serve as a simple wallet for your film,” he answered. I laughed. “I think it’s time for you to know that I’m also the director. I’ll be working very closely with the casting crew, screenwriters, and the marketers involved in your movie.”
My laughter immediately stopped. I knew I’d have to work near Ezra as the head of the production company, but I never thought I’d have to work with him as the director.
He would oversee the entire film with me.
He would be there during every scene, every decision, every moment.
To think that he would be there with me every step of the way was a soothing thought, but also terrifying.
I didn’t understand why my heart raced every time I saw him. I couldn’t comprehend why my pulse beat faster when I thought of the time that we would spend together. It was the same feeling I had when we were in Blackthorn, before I knew the kind of person he truly was.
“You look funny,” he said.
“Ezra, that’s not something you say to a girl.”
“No, I mean, why do you look so distraught?” he questioned. “Is my presence so disturbing to you?”
Ezra stopped walking, and faced me. Sharing my thoughts was no longer an option.
I could not explain how his company affected me in good and bad ways.
Not after hiding the truth from me. Not after he broke my heart.
And I hated how much the thought of that day still hurt me.
I despised how I couldn’t look at him and enjoy the good memories we had together.
All I could think about was finding out that he was with me as a joke, to prove himself to his friends.
Ezra’s warm hands rubbed my arms. “Hey.”
He towered over me, and it was then that I noticed how much taller he’d grown since the last time I saw him five years ago.
So much time.
1,827 days.
“What’s wrong?” he asked softly.
I shook my head, unable to speak. If I pronounced any word, he’d know how much of an effect he still had on me.
“I’m okay,” I whispered, lowering my eyes to his blue tie. It matched the color of his gaze. All these years, I couldn’t even bear to look at the hue that belonged to him. I shut my eyes.
“Hey,” he murmured before pulling me into his embrace.
A million times. That’s how long I had spent imagining this moment and dreaming up our reunion. I wanted to hug him; I wanted to remember the peace I had felt whenever I was in his arms. As if my place in this life was to be by his side.
“I waited so long for this,” he whispered, his cheek resting on my head. His hold around my frame tightened.
What he didn’t understand was that those words gave me hope. Strength, but also heartache. I couldn’t do this. I was engaged. To someone who didn’t make me feel the way I felt with Ezra. A man who wasn’t Ezra.
With all of my willpower, I let go. There was nothing but anguish on his face.
“Why?” I said. His brow furrowed. “Why did you have to ruin us?”
He shook his head. “There’s no excuse for what I did.”
“Tell me. Why did you do it?”
“I can’t.”
“Help me understand. What did I do for you to betray me like that?”
And suddenly, he looked every bit the mess that I was. There’d been tears swelling in his ocean gaze. “I can’t give you a reason. There are no justifications for what I did.”
There was no point in trying to understand.
I let out a small breath and recomposed myself, stepping away from him. “We should get back. I’m sure they’re waiting for us.”
“Lysandra,” he began, as I continued forward. But there was one flaw in my plan, I didn’t know my way out of here. I wouldn’t be able to hide from him. I had given him a glimpse of the real me, and I already regretted it.
It would be foolish of me to expose myself like that again. “Can you lead the way, please?”
I pushed the emotions that were tumbling out of me into the deepest parts of my soul. I was great at masking my pain anyway, what were a few hours around Ezra? Nothing. The hours I spent without him were heavier than the ones around him.
He sighed.
Ezra led the way to the audition room.
I pushed all of my thoughts about him aside. I had to focus on finding the right actors to fit into my characters’ profiles. I found my seat, two spaces away from Ezra’s. A production assistant provided me with a notepad and a pen, which I held onto firmly as several actors auditioned.
Hopefully we would be able to pick the protagonists by the end of the week.