39. thirty nine
thirty nine
EZRA
“You seem rather stressed. Maybe I could help you… relax?” Skye suggested, her hand rubbing my shoulder. With all my willpower, I went still as a statue even though I had the urge to push her touch far away from me.
I knew what she was offering, and I’d told her countless times before that I wasn’t interested. Since she got hired, she’d been following me around the entire set. This woman was making me uncomfortable. Not once had I given her a sliver of hope, yet she continued to pursue me.
“No, thank you. Look, I really need to get back to work.”
Skye pulled my neck down toward her. “You’re so hardworking. I love that in a man,” she whispered.
I felt myself shiver in disgust. I whispered my mother’s teachings in my mind. My mother taught me to respect women, even when I was being disrespected myself.
What would my mother want me to do in a situation like this?
I heard loud footsteps rushing past me. I glimpsed Lysandra’s curls dashing between the moving carts and bustling film crew. Perhaps she saw the way Skye was clinging to me.
Swiftly, I removed Skye’s arms from my shoulder and ran after Lysandra. I didn’t wish for her to have the wrong idea. There was zero interest from my part toward the assistant when all of my devotion belonged completely to Lysandra.
“Lysandra!” I called her. She continued to run out of the set, pushing past assistants, cameramen, and eventually the front entrance.
As she drew further, I pushed myself to run faster.
It’d been raining outside. The moon had been completely hidden from our view as dark clouds stood above.
Their cotton figures were heavy and charged as they let out a downpour.
The stars in the Heavens were invisible.
The cobblestone pathways of the city shone, and the breath that I released from my mouth came out in a silver fog.
With the adrenaline running through me, I was able to reach her and pull her arm.
Her body would have slammed into my chest had she not withheld her footing.
Lysandra glared at me as she shoved me away from her.
I couldn’t help but think she looked adorable as she scowled at me with rain dripping down her face.
My glasses had gotten completely muffled by the raindrops; I yanked them off my face, setting them in my pocket.
Her chest caved in and out as she glowered.
“Are you okay?” I questioned.
“Isn’t it obvious?” She shook her head with a scoff, which seemed like the type of grin a person would show to portray the sadness they felt.
“What’s wrong? Why did you run out like that?” I asked, even though I had an idea as to what had been bothering her. I just didn’t know if my mind had been lying to me. Could she feel the same as I felt for her?
Of course not, stop lying to yourself.
“There’s no point,” she chuckled, I could note the sarcasm in her tone.
She began to walk away; I rushed after her. “Wait.” I pulled her back toward me.
There it was. The way she used to look at me. And suddenly, it felt as though I had been transported back to that rose field, five years ago. A special moment between us two. I knew then that I was at the top of a precipice.
My heart belonged to her and only her. She had kept it in the vaults of her soul all of these years, and I didn’t wish for it back. I only wished for her to remain holding onto the beating organ that screamed her name.
I reached for her face, my thumb caressing her cheek. She looked up at me and I could see the tears already beginning to form.
“Why?” She questioned me. Nothing but fire within her eyes as she swatted my hand away. “Why did you do it? Why did you ruin what we had?”
I should’ve known better. And although I’d tried to let it go, I had never forgiven myself either.
The heartbreak in her gaze, paired with rage, had always haunted me.
The last time she had asked me that same question, I hadn’t been ready to respond. I let her walk away. I wasn’t going to let that happen again. The space between us was killing me.
“I didn’t mean to,” I exasperated. There was no excuse; I wouldn’t give her one.
I was honest when I told her that back at the auditorium.
I would fight in the first lines of any war, I would spend every dollar of this world, and I would give every day of my life to prove to her that I regretted it all.
“I waited for you for years,” she cried. She was beautiful even when she cried, but it broke me just how much I’d been the object of her tears.
“I know,” I said.
“Then why? I opened my heart to you. I let myself care for you. I don’t do that.” Her voice raged as she stepped closer, as if seeking comfort in my proximity. My mind begged her to come nearer.
My breath hitched. “There is nothing in this world I regret more than hurting you. Please understand that.”
Lysandra frowned and disapproved with a shake of her head.
This was my moment. I had to speak, I had to tell her how much she meant to me. It was now or never.
“Don’t you get it, Lysandra? It’s always been you. Only you,” I almost yelled.
“How can you be so sure of that?”
“There has not been a single night that I have not dreamed of you. Not a minute has gone by where my heart has not ached for yours. You are so deeply rooted into my essence that I can’t imagine my life without you.
It’s as if we were fire and water. You’re the wind, and I am the sea.
One cannot exist without the other. Your smile has been the light of my days.
The luminosity of you awakened what was dormant within me.
Can’t you comprehend that?” I confessed.
The rage in her eyes began to simmer as I watched her gaze soften.
“If this is some kind of sick joke of yours,” she muttered.
“It’s not. It’s not, Lysandra. Understand that. I’ve never so much as looked at another girl, that’s how much you mean to me. How could you possibly ever think I could move on from you?”
Her brows furrowed.
The rain continued to drip across my face as my chest heaved.
I could feel my hair sticking to the side of my face, and my clothes getting heavier with each passing moment.
Lampposts flickered as the night reigned upon us.
The chill in the air was nothing compared to fiery passion I had for this girl.
“I love you. I’m in love with you. I always have, and I always will be. It’s always gonna be you for me.”
Despite the fact that I had opened my soul to her, she remained silent. My mind screamed as she stared at me, contemplating.
No more words. No more waiting. Screw having patience. I had been waiting five years to be able to tell her that I loved her, that I’d never stopped loving her ever since. I would only ever stop loving her the moment my heart no longer beat.
My indignation, my patience, and everything else in between overpowered me as I pulled her arm, bringing her into my chest and slamming my lips against hers.
I kissed her as if I had been taking my last breath. As if this was the last moment I was going to live. As if she were water and I had been dying of thirst. And I melted in her solace when she responded to me, wrapping me into her quiet embrace.
She was worth the fight and the patience. She was everything. My downfall and my revival.
I let go of her, just to take one breath. I set my head over hers, hoping that she didn’t regret giving into me.
“What guarantee do I have that you won’t hurt me again?” she asked softly.
“You have my heart.”
I opened my eyes, she’d already been looking at me, possibly for some sort of doubt in my affirmation. Then, suddenly, her hesitation disappeared.
Her expression was filled with what seemed to be acceptance.
“I love you too,” she whispered.
My heart almost exploded in my chest. We never had the chance to confess it to each other before. And it was exactly how I’d dreamed it would be.
“Give me another chance to prove to you that I have become the man that you wanted me to be. You handed your heart to me, and I ripped it to pieces, but please give me the chance to put it back together.”
Silence.
I watched as she pondered. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if she rejected me that day. It was difficult not to believe that my life would stop if she deemed me unworthy of her love.
Joy flickered on her perfect lips as she nodded. “Fine, but if you hurt me again, then I’ll have no choice but to murder you.”
Ah, her humor. Terrible as always. I chuckled. I leaned in again, grabbed her waist, picked her up and spun her around.
She laughed. Oh, the crimes I was willing to commit to hear her giggle that way for the rest of my life. I analyzed the perfection of her profile as her mouth curved upward, lifting her hand, and slapping my shoulder. “Then why was that girl basically on top of you?”
I shook my head and blinked hard. “I’m firing her, don’t worry.”
“Did you two…”
“No—no, not at all. She’s been making these weird suggestions since she got hired a few weeks ago.”
“Hmm,” Lysandra hummed as she squinted at me.
“Don’t be jealous, darling. My eyes will only ever find yours.”
Her cheeks grew rosy. “You’re such a douche.”
“Stop arguing with me and let’s head inside before you catch a cold.”
She wrapped an arm around my torso, and we walked back into the set.
That had been the best night of my life.