Chapter 8 A Damn Fool – Vic
A college degree.
Six culinary arts certificates.
Seven restaurants.
Two recipe books.
And even a cookware line.
Yet, I’m still a damn fool.
The biggest one of all.
I made the stupid choice to temper my desire for Kerry by thwarting my daughters’ well-being.
I made the foolish decision to push her away in the most disrespectful manner.
In the words of my daughters, I ghosted her.
As I sit in my study, reflecting on the laughter that filled my home a week ago.
I realize Kerry’s presence is needed.
It brought a lightness we had all been missing.
And now, this void, this silence—it weighs on me as a constant reminder of what I might have just lost.
I shuffle through new recipe ideas scattered across my desk, but they fail to hold my attention.
My creativity has been tapped out for a while.
And now, my thoughts are relentlessly drawn back to Kerry.
I replay her words, her plea, her frustration, her tears.
She wasn’t just asking for a job; she was asking for a chance to rebuild her life, to find purpose again.
And what did I do?
In a moment, clouded by my fears, I denied her that opportunity.
I let my fear of falling for someone dictate my decision.
I’ve spent the last five years mostly at home with my daughters, convincing myself I was all they needed, that they were all I needed.
So, I worked from home, constantly locked away in my study, assuring myself that all was well because, although their mother was gone, I was still here.
But I’m not.
I’m physically present but distant in every way.
And Kerry’s split-second existence in our lives tore down my five-year delusion, revealing a stark reality.
I’m lonely, and so are my daughters.
We’ve settled into a routine that mimics peace, managing our loss with a resigned calmness.
But Kerry’s fleeting time with us illuminated the possibilities of a fuller, richer happiness—a realization that while we’ve learned to cope with our pain, there’s a whole spectrum of joy we’ve yet to explore.
Since last week, the house has felt colder, emptier.
My hand constantly hovers over my phone.
It should be so easy to call her, admit I made a mistake, say I’m sorry, and tell her we need her here.
But fear and caution hold me back.
Every moment around Kerry causes my logic to slip and my desires to deepen, drawing me to her in a way that dangerously blurs the lines between employer and employee.
This is why maintaining distance is crucial, yet it feels like an impossible feat.
I crave her presence.
And I can’t stop thinking about her, which is frightening because this is how I felt about the love of my life, my late wife.
If these feelings are this strong now, they’ll only deepen if I continue on this path.
I can’t allow myself to fall for this woman.
Falling in love once brought me the greatest joy and the deepest pain I’ve ever known.
I cannot, and I will not risk experiencing that level of loss again.
I refuse to love only to face the devastation of losing it once more.
But I do know one thing for certain, my daughters won’t forgive me if I don’t hire Kerry Kind.
“Uncle Hud, please tell Daddy to call our new teacher and beg her to come back. She was the best teacher we ever had, and he was so mean to her!” Ari complains to my brother Hudson, the face of our family brand.
I would’ve never met Kerry if Hudson hadn’t been out of town, forcing me to attend the damn flower shop opening in his place.
“So, your dad’s being his ole’ stubborn self, huh?” Hudson says, lounging on my great room furniture.
“Hey, feet down,” I sternly advise.
“And I’m not being stubborn. I know Ms. Kind’s a great fit, but now’s not a great time. I’ve done a good job homeschooling you girls over the years, haven’t I?”
“No!” Syd yells.
“You aren’t that great at math, Dad, but Ms. Kind makes it fun. And I want to make friends, and you aren’t friendly. Ms. Kind says her friends have kids our age. You’re just not cool anymore. At least not as cool as Ms. Kind.”
Ari nods in agreement.
“Whoa,” Hudson laughs, adding fuel to the fire.
“Who is this woman? ”
“A godsend!” My mother interjects, barging into the conversation.
“Ooh, Hud! She’s a beauty, too. She had your big brother here all twisted up, giving her googly eyes. Vic, you need to apologize! Not only do the girls need to get caught up on their studies, but you also missed lunch with the former governor this week after I worked extremely hard to get you on her busy schedule.
In mock dismay, I sigh. “Oh, crap!
I forgot!
” Then, leaning back in my chair, I suggest, “Well, Hud’s back. He can go in my place.”
Hudson gives me a wry smile and shakes his head.
“Uh, that’s a no, big bro. You’re taking point, remember? You’re the CEO, the patriarch of the fam.” He says in a bitter tone.
“I’m sitting this one out. Besides, I’m enjoying scrolling through these pics on the town’s social media page. You’re cheesing hard as hell. You’re a certified country boy now. And you weren’t lying about this Kerry woman. Whew, she’s gorgeous. There’s no way she’d be interested in a mean bastard like you. Think I might have to introduce myself.”
Ari catches my eye with a knowing glance, signaling that it’s time for less mature ears to leave so the grown-ups can talk.
“Time to go to our rooms, Syd,” She directs her sister.
“We don’t need to hear this.”
The girls slowly shuffle out, and I grab the nearest soft object, a doll, and lob it at Hudson’s head in a moment of frustration.
“Ow! What was that for?” Hudson exclaims, rubbing his head.
“Stay away from Kerry,” I warn him, my voice tense.
“She’s not interested in you. Given how badly I treated her, she probably wants to stay far away from anything related to a Grimes.”
Hudson scoffs, dismissive of my anger.
“I can’t believe you’re being possessive over a woman you pushed away. Just text her, Vic. The worst she could do is not respond or cuss you out and tell you never to bother her again.”
“Text? You’ve got to be kidding! There’s no way an apology text gets you out of the doghouse that easily.” I reply.
“I need to do something big, a grand gesture. Is that really all you do?”
He shrugs nonchalantly.
“Works for me every time.”
“And that’s precisely why you’re still single, Hud,” Mom chimes in, her voice laced with teasing as she enters the room.
“Vic, just call her. She really does seem like a sweet and understanding young woman. Just be honest with her. Tell her that despite that perfectly handsome face you inherited from your father, your social skills need a bit of work, and you’re nervous because she’s your first crush in years.”
My mom’s advice is even worse than my brothers causing my frustration to peak.
“I’m pushing forty! I don’t have a crush. I’m a grown man.”
“Well, you aren’t acting like a grown man,” She retorts sharply.
“Get up and get my granddaughters their teacher back. Surely, you can keep your hormones at bay for their sake. Get it together right now, Victor Grimes!”
I groan, rolling my eyes in exasperation.
“Fine! Let me think for a sec. I clearly can’t be around her without wanting her, so I’ll just adjust my schedule. If she accepts the job, I’ll make it work. I need to start going into the office anyway. I can work there from seven to three, come home to cook dinner, wrap up some work in my study, and then spend the evening with the girls. Kerry can stay in the guest wing. That way, I can keep my distance and keep my feelings in check.”
Hudson bursts out laughing, clearly amused by my plan.
“This is gonna be a beautiful disaster, but sure, Vic. Great plan. Now, go fix the mess you made.”
I leave my daughters at home, under the somewhat watchful eyes of my mom and Hudson to eat some humble pie.
First, I head to the local hardware store to pick up some tools, wood, and shelves.
I haven’t built anything since…
since I built one too many of Ari’s wooden dollhouses when she was a toddler.
But I’m sure I can build something special for Kerry by tomorrow…
I think.
After the hardware store, my next stop is Izzy’s Flower Shop.
As I push open the door, the scowls from Izzy and Kiera are unmistakable.
They must have heard about the trial day fiasco from Kerry.
“You’re not welcome here, Mr. Grimes.” Kiera states bluntly before I can even greet her.
Yep, she definitely told them about the trial day.
“Wait, I know—” I attempt to explain, but she cuts me off.
“I don’t want to hear it. I was relieved to think Kerry had met a decent man and even more relieved when she finally got a job offer. She’s given so much to this town yet received so little in return, and now you’ve hurt her, too.”
“I know, and I’m sorry,” I reply earnestly.
“She deserves better. That’s why I’m here. ”
Kiera eyes me warily but nods, acknowledging my intent.
“If you’re here to make things right, then show it.”
Encouraged, I ask for their help in creating a bouquet that says everything I struggle to voice.
Izzy steps forward and takes over like the expert she is.
“Tell me what you want to say with this bouquet.”
“I need to apologize to start,” I explain, watching as she selects white tulips, a symbol of forgiveness.
“I want to say thank you for her patience and for caring about my family,” Izzy weaves in orchids, representing admiration.
“I admire her strength, her boldness.” She then adds peonies, symbols of bravery and honor.
“Is there anything else you’d like to say?” Izzy asks, her tone gentle, urging me to open up.
I hesitate.
“I... I want her to know that I think she’s beautiful. That I... I crave her presence more than anything I’ve ever wanted.”
Kiera and Izzy exchange a surprised but excited look before Izzy adds roses to the bouquet.
“This might be your best creation yet, Iz.” Kiera whispers.
“Anything for our girl,” Izzy replies, tying the bouquet together.
“Kerry deserves this. And you better not mess this up, Vic.”
Grateful, I thank them and leave with the bouquet, making one last stop at a local bookshop.
Remembering Kerry’s love for romance and Black literature, I purchase loads of new books to fill the library.
When we approach Kerry’s home, my nerves spike when I see a tall, decent-looking man hugging her goodbye.
Jealousy flares, but Gary tries to calm me.
“Easy, son. It’s probably just a friend.”
Taking a deep breath, I approach with the bouquet in hand, catching the tail end of their conversation.
Kerry’s eyes widen when she sees me.
“Oh my god, that’s him. That’s Victor Grimes,” She whispers to the man.
The man turns around, and I’m immediately annoyed.
He looks like the damn Black Clark Kent!
His confident demeanor momentarily throws me off, and my jealousy spikes.
Ready to stake my claim, I puff out my chest and extend my hand first in a show of bravado.
“Victor Grimes,” I announce, trying to mark my territory.
“I’m Kerry’s boyfriend. ”
He looks at me, unimpressed, and Kerry can’t help but laugh at my display.
“Vic, you don’t have to pretend,” she gently chides.
“He knows we aren’t really dating.”
Annoyed by my own antics and her amusement, I turn to him, demanding, “And who is he exactly?”
The man smiles warmly, extending his hand, which I regard warily.
“I’m Dr. Watkins, Kerry’s therapist.”
I hesitate, my hand in mid-air as I process this.
“And you make house visits to all your patients?” I ask, suspicion threading through my tone.
Sensing the tension, Dr.
Watkins offers a comforting smile.
“Only for a select few.” He clarifies, his tone reassuring.
“Stop it!” Kerry touches my arm, a silent plea for civility.
as she explains to me, “If you must know, Mr. Nosey, Dr. Watkins has been kind enough to continue seeing me off the books since I can’t afford the sessions anymore.”
The raw honesty in Kerry’s voice pierces through me.
Her usually bright and confident expression dims slightly as she looks away.
With a subtle movement, she brushes a strand of hair behind her ear, her eyes downcast, showing her discomfort and embarrassment.
I feel guilty for my thoughtless behavior upon realizing the depth of the financial struggle she’s been facing despite the smile she wears on her face.
Feeling like a complete fool, I gently lift her chin with my finger, encouraging her to look at me.
“I’m sorry, Kerry. I didn’t mean to get jealous or pry. I know I have a lot to apologize for, and I promise to do it with both my words and actions. I’ll never make you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable again.”
She parts her lips to speak, but no words come out.
The atmosphere grows tense, unmistakably heavy with unspoken thoughts, until Dr.
Watkins clears his throat, reminding us of his presence.
“Well, Mr. Grimes,” He says with a slight chuckle.
“it was a pleasure meeting you. Ms. Kind, same time next week?”
Kerry nods, but before he departs, she remarks under her breath, “Do you see what I mean now, Doc? Freakin’ melting in his hand.”
A soft chuckle escapes me, and even Dr.
Watkins smiles, acknowledging her bashfulness with a knowing smile before he walks away.
However, once he’s gone, Kerry’s demeanor shifts.
“What do you want, Mr. Grimes?” She asks, her tone suddenly firm .
Her straightforwardness catches me off guard and stirs a bit of desire within me.
“Well, that’s a loaded question, Ms. Kind,” I reply, smirking.
“But to start, these are for you.” I raise the bouquet.