40. Lilah #3
In the shadow of Willowcrest, I pulled my newly purchased suitcase behind me. My mother’s trunk was left behind in the house. Someone would throw it out eventually, if they even realized I was gone.
Getting to Seattle would be a pain in the ass, but I’d dealt with worse. I gritted my teeth and winced at the dull ache in my chin. The stitches would dissolve over the next month.
My taxi would arrive any second. A walk to the bus station with my backpack and suitcase would’ve been unnecessary torture. Hadn’t I been through enough already?
Not that the three-day bus trip wasn’t going to be rough, but I’d ride in the luggage compartment to finally start the new chapter in my life.
I’d rip out every page in this year and burn them, never wanting to revisit the memories.
I considered these luxuries my graduation gift to myself.
All those savings could give me at least a little help. That’s what it was there for, right?
Gravel crunched behind me.
Eliza ran up and stopped in front of me. “Hey, where are you going?”
“I’m leaving.”
Her face dropped. “To go where?”
“College.”
Her lips parted and twisted with confused shock. “But it’s June.”
I shrugged.
“You were going to leave without saying goodbye.”
“I didn’t think anyone would care.” I willed the numbness to overtake me. Please swallow me whole and make none of this matter anymore.
Eliza’s eyes filled with a watery sheen. “I would.” She lurched forward and wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me tight. “I’ll miss you, Lilah.”
“Eliza! What the hell?” Kelsey shouted from around the corner.
“Bye, Eliza.” I hugged her back and let her go. A notification pinged, probably from my driver.
But when I rounded the corner, it wasn’t my taxi idling at the front of the house. Or Mason.
Rye stared at me with a pale, sweaty face. He leaned against Roxy’s passenger side door with a crutch and leg in a full brace and cast up to his hip.
“You drove Roxy here with that on your leg?”
“Not my smartest moment, but I’ve had dumber.” He stole a quick glance at the house I hadn’t been able to look at for days. “You’ve been avoiding me.”
Seeing him like this, a gnarled bunch of guilt tightened in my stomach.
I gestured to his leg. “You’ve been busy.”
He shot a glance at the house. “Have you talked to Mason?”
Nope. No. Absolutely not. I couldn’t even let myself think of him. If I did, I’d turn into that wounded girl who could barely catch her breath from crying. “How’d you know I was leaving?”
He tilted his head with a knowing look.
Then it was my turn to nod. “I told your mom I’d let her know when I got to Seattle safely.”
“And I can’t believe you thought that would fly. You were going to leave without a word.”
I stared up at the cloudless sky and then back down at him. The tangled ball of thread when it came to Rye had gotten no less confusing over the past ten days. “What’s left to say?”
“How about I’ll see you at Thanksgiving? Or for Christmas?”
“I’m not coming back, Rye.”
“What? Why?”
“There’s nothing left for me here.” A door closed inside my chest. Everything had gotten so messy. Too messy. I couldn’t handle being let down by another attachment again. “I need a fresh start.”
“So that’s it? You’re just cutting me off after twelve years of friendship.” His jaw clenched, sorrowful anger flowing off him in waves.
“I think it’s best for everyone. Look at what I brought into your life.” I gestured to his leg and crutch.
He reached for me. “That’s not your fault.”
I stepped back. “Isn’t it?”
“No, none of this is your fault.” He sighed, shaking his head, and shoved his hand into his pocket. “In case you want to drive back. This is for you.”
The keys to Roxy, the car he’d babied for the past three years, dangled from his fingers.
“Rye, no. I’m not taking your car.”
“She’s sturdy. Might not be pretty, and the window’s broken, but I got the AC issue fixed. Otherwise, she’s a workhorse.”
My taxi pulled up behind the car. “Rye…”
“I promised you a car, right? Since I’m probably not going pro, I still owe you. Take her and I’ll take the taxi.”
“Rye—” My voice cracked.
He hugged me tight. The last time. “You deserved better. I’m sorry.” A featherlight kiss on my cheek and he looked at me with watery eyes. “I’m here whenever you’re ready.”
Then he hobbled over to the taxi before I could stop him.
I stared at the car I’d ridden in over the years. All I had was one suitcase and a backpack to my name. My mother’s ruined dress, my sketchbooks, my childish dreams of family, friends and not being alone—those were all left behind at Willowcrest.
I put my things in the back of the car.
Rye had already filled up the gas tank. I checked for directions on my phone. In forty-one hours, I’d start the new chapter of my life where I’d never get sucked in by pretty words, gentle kisses and hungry touches.
New plan. My future was laid out in front of me. I was the only one I could rely on. I’d never risk making these same mistakes again. There would be no next time. Mason Shaw had broken me and I’d pasted myself back together—not stronger, but smarter.
I checked the rearview mirror.
Mason stood at the end of the driveway watching me leave him behind.