11. Chapter Eleven
Chapter Eleven
Blaze
I stare at myself in the full-length mirror, taking in my khakis and gray floral Hawaiian-style shirt. In comparison to my usual jeans and Converse, I look like a total doofus—and usually, I wouldn’t even care. But right now? I’m trying to play the role of a perfect boyfriend in front of Addy’s family, and I don’t know if this outfit will make the cut.
Double-checking my freshly styled hair, I fold my arms across my chest and wait for Addy to reappear from changing. I don’t know why I’m nervous. I’m suddenly thinking I should’ve had her help me with my wardrobe.
“Are you ready?” Addy calls as the bathroom door swings open. She steps into the main room, and I’m at a loss. She looks incredible in a red halter top dress, cinched at the waist and hitting her mid-thigh. Her blonde hair falls in beach waves past her shoulders, and her red lips look…
Kissable.
“Blaze?” She waves her hand in front of my face.
“Sorry.” I clear my throat. “I dig the dress.”
She narrows her eyes. “Uh-huh. I dig the floral shirt. Very vacation-y. Very handsome.”
“Really? You think it looks okay?” I check myself out again in the mirror, noting the sleeves are fitted tight around my biceps. “You don’t think I look like a douche?”
She bursts into a giggle. “I didn’t, but now that you say that—”
“Oh stop.” I shake my head, offering my arm to her. “Shall we, girlfriend ?”
She crinkles her nose. “Ew, that sounds weird. Don’t say that, but yes. I’m freaking starving.” She links her arm with mine, and I lead her to the hotel door, opening it and letting her go first.
I feel lightheaded.
I try to reason with myself as we make our way to the elevator. Maybe I haven’t eaten enough today.
“What are we eating?” I ask.
“No clue.” Addy laughs. “I just know that dinner is at the beachside restaurant on the first floor. I think Robert and his family are finally here, according to the wedding group text.” She makes a face. “Which has been going off nonstop with memes ever since we got here. It’s so annoying.”
“They’re just excited,” I reason with a shrug. “I mean, getting married is a big deal. I’d probably be excited, too.”
“Probably?” She glances up at me as we step into the elevator.
“I don’t know,” I muse. “Maybe I’d be nervous. It’s not like I’ve ever even gotten close to marrying someone. So, I don’t really know what it feels like. But I’d assume I’d be excited…”
Addy tilts her head, quiet for a moment as I press the ground-level button. “Have you never been in love? I thought you had a serious girlfriend back in high school?”
As close as Addy and I are, I never really discuss that part of my life with her. Mostly because it doesn’t exist, and honestly, I was so lost jumping from foster home to foster home that I didn’t ever really have a chance to have any meaningful relationships—and the one I did fell victim to my situation. “I only dated her for a few months my junior year, but then I moved schools, and she decided she’d rather be with someone else.”
“Oh?” Addy’s eyes grow wide. “Did she cheat on you?”
I laugh. “Honestly, I don’t even know. I was so lost in the transition into another foster home that I didn’t think much about it. I just let it go. I wasn’t in a great headspace back then, anyway.”
She nods, a sympathetic look on her face. “Well, I thought I was in love once.” There’s a distant look on her face as we make the descent.
“Yeah? With who?”
Her gaze flickers to mine. “You wouldn’t know him.”
“Oh.” But for some reason, I feel a tinge of jealousy in my chest. “Lucky guy.”
She opens her mouth to say something else, but the doors chime, and we’re left to stare into a crowded lobby. Addy takes an audible breath and grabs my hand, interlacing our fingers. “Here we go.”
“Yep.” I pop the p sound.
She guides me through the sea of tourists, and I try to think about anything other than the feeling of her hand in mine—or the way she looks in her red dress. She’s always been so pretty, but deep down, something in me stirs at the thought of her being known as mine , even if it’s just make-believe.
They don’t know that.
We head into a nice restaurant, which is set facing the beach. Addy gives the hostess her family name, and she guides us out to a private deck with tables, a dance floor, and a DJ booth.
This family goes all out.
All the time.
“Hey, come sit with us!” Addy’s sister calls from one of the corner tables. She’s seated next to her fiancé. Robert’s got a few gray hairs mixed in with his dark locks, and he looks shockingly opposite of Aurora. She wears her wealth on her sleeve, and Robert could probably pass as homeless.
I pull out Addy’s chair for her, and she gives me a funny look but takes a seat anyway. “Hey.” I clear my throat as I greet Robert and Aurora, already sweating bullets. I’ve seen Addy’s sister a million times…
But not as her sister’s “boyfriend.” And that makes all the difference, apparently.
“You look gorgeous,” Aurora says to Addy. “Don’t you think so, Blaze?” She looks me dead in the eye, putting me on the spot.
“Don’t do that to him,” Addy warns her, shaking her head. “You don’t have to interrogate Blaze. You’ve known him for forever.”
“It’s okay,” I say coolly. “And for the record, yeah, she does look gorgeous. I’m pretty sure she’s the prettiest girl on this island.”
Addy whips her head around to look at me, her cheeks tinged the same shade as her dress. “Thanks.” Her tone sounds surprised. “That’s really sweet of you to say.”
“It’s the truth,” I tell her with a smile.
Really, it is the truth.
“Well, I like this already,” Aurora coos, leaning her head against her hand. “You deserve someone who dotes on you like that.”
“Yeah,” Robert echoes, and then waves down the waitress dressed in a bathing suit with a grass skirt. When she arrives, we all order fruity drinks and some kind of appetizer I’ve never even heard of. I might be making money playing hockey now, but I still don’t really know how these fancy places work.
I lean back in the chair, and as I do, Addy’s hand lands on my knee. A jolt of electricity follows, and I have to swallow the urge to tell her to move her hand. It almost feels like I’m breaking the rules … even though I’m not.
This is gonna be a long vacation.
“So, we rented the whole back patio,” Aurora says. “I thought it would be fun if we let loose on this first night. Since the next few days will probably be a little crazy. I mean, for us, anyway. The wedding is in three days, but you know, while we jet off on our honeymoon, y’all will still be here for a couple days enjoying Hawaii.”
“Yeah, it’ll be a nice little vacay,” Addy says, her hand still on my freaking knee. “It’s a great escape from reality.”
“You walk dogs, right?” Robert asks Addy just as the waitress returns with our drinks and sets them down.
“Yeah, it’s fun,” she says, eyeing me as I swoop my drink up and start downing it. “You thirsty, honey?” Her tone is terse.
“Long flight?” I shrug. Everyone at the table laughs, and I continue to finish the heavily liquored-up drink. I’m not one to really throw it back, but my nerves are fried, and Addy’s completely rule-abiding touches are doing weird things to my body.
And it’s only the first night.
“So, Blaze.” Aurora begins sipping on her blue umbrella straw. “I have to know. When did you realize your feelings for Addy had changed? I mean, the two of you have been friends for so long, and now you’re together. I feel like something had to have happened to trigger that.”
I set my empty drink down and nod to the waitress for a second, ignoring Addy’s penetrative glare. “Well,” I begin, feeling warm from the alcohol. “Honestly, um…” My voice trails off.
“It just happened—”
“No,” I cut Addy off, shaking my head. “It didn’t just happen . I met Addy when I was a sophomore in college and she was a freshman. She spilled coffee all over herself and her books. I think—” I pause, smiling as I reflect on that memory. “I think I fell in love with her right then and there.”
“What?” Aurora and Addy both gasp in unison.
But I just keep rolling with it. “Yeah, but just because you fall in love with someone doesn’t mean that you do something about it. Addy immediately became like family to me, and while I had the biggest crush on her in college, I just kept showing up in whatever capacity she’d let me. I got comfortable being her friend, and to have her in my life like that was enough, until…” My voice trails off as I catch her blue eyes. “Until it just wasn’t anymore.”
“Really?” Addy’s voice has a mix of very well-acted emotions. “I thought you just woke up one day and started to like me as more than best friends.”
I shake my head, thankful for my new drink on the table. “Nah. It’s always been you, Addy.” I rip my gaze away and grab the fruity glass up, downing the liquor as Aurora and Robert talk about how sweet I am.
I’m just a good liar.
Except the only person I’m lying to is me. I mean, mostly.
It’s still enough to just be Addy’s friend … but the rest of it is true.
I thought I was in love with her in college. And I almost told her. Multiple times. It just never seemed like a good idea.
“Heavy talks.” Addy takes a sip of her drink, finally removing her hand from my leg. We spend the rest of the time talking about Robert’s new business deals and Aurora’s new fashion designs, and their plans to relocate to New York City after the wedding. I focus on eating enough carbs to soak up the alcohol.
After the sun sets, Addy nudges me. “Let’s go dance.”
I glance over at the crowded dance floor. “Are you sure? You know I don’t really dance.”
She grins. “That’s exactly why we should.”
“Fine,” I huff, pushing back the wicker chair and standing to my feet unsteadily. I’ve had too much to drink, the buzz in my head apparent. It’s definitely time to cut myself off.
Addy grabs my hand and leads me to the dance floor, kicking off her sandals and leaving them behind at the table.
“Close to You” by Gracie Abrams begins playing over the speakers, and Addy starts singing along, dancing like a goober. I can’t help but laugh at her, reminded of all the times we were in college and she’d drag me out dancing with her friends.
I wasn’t great at dancing then, either.
With a sigh, I fall into rhythm with her, pretending like I know what I’m doing. She tips her head back and laughs, and I grab her hand, spinning her around. As the song comes to an end, I pull her into my chest, and she stills, meeting my eyes.
I thread my fingers through her hair, my other arm wrapping around her waist as a strong, primal urge floods my body. My nose brushes hers, and she sucks in a sharp breath, shocking me. My heart pounds in my ears as the alarm bells ring, and I snap out of it.
“Gotcha,” I joke, releasing her like it was all a show. “I think it’s time for me to call it a night.”