17. Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Seventeen
Blaze
I’m staring at the ceiling as I lay here in bed. Addy’s breathing deeply and steadily beside me—well, on the other side of the pillow wall that I put dead center on the bed. The last thing I needed was to wake up holding her like I did before. I mean, she insisted it was nothing, but it felt like a lot more than nothing to me .
Taking a breath, I run my hands over my face. The wedding activities will be over after today. I can’t decide if that’s a good or bad thing.
Just one more night playing pretend in front of her family.
Then we’ll fly home in a couple days, and everything will be back to normal.
My stomach knots up for whatever reason, and I wonder if I should’ve ever agreed to do this. I can’t blame Addy for any of the things that’ve happened between us since we got here, either.
It’s been all me .
I mean, I almost kissed her the first night.
I guess my obsession with her in college never really went away.
“Oh my gosh,” Addy groans from beside me. “I hate my life.”
I chuckle, turning my head to look at her, but all I see are … pillows . I frown and grab the one closest to my face and toss it across the room so I can see Addy. She’s face down, her blonde hair messy and cascading across the white sheets.
“You had a lot of wine last night,” I say, reaching out and poking her shoulder. All the thoughts of regret disappear as I gaze down at her, and my worries trickle away.
She lifts her head, narrowing her eyes at me. “Why did you let me drink so much?”
“I tried to cut you off.” I brush the silky strands of hair away from her flawless, bare face. As my skin grazes hers, a surge of electricity sizzles through me, igniting every nerve ending in my body. But I ignore it. Just like I did in college. It’s about priorities—and Addy is everything to me. As a friend.
“Well.” She sighs. “I guess I can’t be mad at you, then.”
“I’d prefer you not be mad.” I chuckle, pushing myself up to a sitting position. I hate sleeping in a T-shirt, but I’ve done it every night since we got here. It seems wrong to go to bed in just my boxers. So, I’ve been sleeping in shorts and a T-shirt every night. It sucks.
“I’m gonna have to spend pretty much the entire afternoon getting ready for the wedding,” Addy tells me, propping herself up on her elbow.
I flip the covers off myself and slide out of bed. “Yeah, well, we can hang out until you have to go. Then, I’ll probably just hit the gym before the wedding.”
“I wish you were walking me down the aisle.”
I nearly choke on air, spinning around to look at her with wide eyes. “What?”
“Yeah.” She looks confused by my reaction. “Instead, Robert’s friend Brandon is walking me down the aisle today.” She crinkles her nose. “And I don’t even know him.”
I peel my shirt over my head. “You’ll be okay. He seemed nice when we were all hanging out at the bachelor party.” I toss my T-shirt into my bag across the room and head for the dresser to grab a fresh one. I can feel Addy’s eyes on me—and the stupid boy inside of me hopes she likes what she sees. In a friendly way?
“You know, my sister intentionally set me up to walk with him because he’s the only single guy in the wedding party. She was worried that if she let Lilly—her only other single bridesmaid—walk with him, she might try to jump his bones later.”
I burst into laughter, turning to look at her with my new black T-shirt in hand. “I don’t know what to do with you sometimes.”
“Yeah, well, that one’s on my sister.”
“Yeah, but I doubt she used those exact words…” I pull my shirt over my head, and tug it down over my torso. Addy’s still watching me.
“I think she used the word courting .” She rolls her eyes and then drops her head down to the pillow again, letting out a groan. “My head hurts .”
I smile at her as I strip out of my gym shorts and pull on a pair of khaki shorts. “I’m going to go pick you up a few things to help with that.”
She eyes me. “Can I come?”
“You don’t wanna lay in bed a little longer?”
She shakes her head and kicks off the covers. For a split second, I get a view of all of her legs, her pajama shorts crinkled up from sleeping. I try not to stare. I try not to check her out and count the freckles I haven’t ever seen before. She’s always been modest, and I love that, but man… When I catch a glimpse of her freckled skin, it awakens parts of me I didn’t know existed.
And then Addy clears her throat.
I rip my gaze away and turn toward the door. “Sorry.” I slip inside the bathroom to brush my teeth—and get away from her. She totally caught me staring, and I’m pretty sure that if embarrassment was an ocean, I’d be drowning in it.
A few minutes later, Addy knocks on the door. “Can I come in?”
I hesitate. “Sure,” I say, my toothbrush jammed inside my mouth. My words come out muffled, but she obviously understands because she opens the bathroom door and steps in, now dressed in a pair of jean shorts and a pale blue T-shirt… It matches her eyes.
She grabs her toothbrush and begins the process of brushing her teeth. I don’t look at her. I don’t notice the way her messy blonde hair pulled up on the top of her head complements her feminine jawline, dotted with more natural freckles that I happen to find very cute.
I know I need to get hold of myself … but we’ve been faking a relationship for days, which is probably why I’m feeling like I’m her boyfriend right now. Surely this feeling will pass once we get back home.
But still … I owe her an apology for checking her out this morning.
I rinse my mouth out and then spit in the sink. “Listen… Addy….” I begin, and she cocks her head in my direction. “I’m really sorry. I just zoned out … or something .”
Her brows furrow and she shakes her head. I have no idea what she means by that, so I stand and wait as she finishes brushing her teeth. She finally wipes her mouth on a towel and gives me a look.
“I don’t understand what you’re apologizing for.”
“For checking you out,” I blurt, meeting her gaze.
She holds my gaze … and then laughs . “Oh, Blaze.”
“What?” I fold my arms across my chest. “What’s so funny?”
“I check you out all the time. It’s fine .” With that, she spins on her heels, exiting the bathroom to answer her phone—which I didn’t even hear ringing. I stand frozen like an idiot, my face feeling hot.
Addy checks me out.
“Hey.” She appears in the doorway of the bathroom before I can leave. “Apparently, my sister booked mani-pedis for the bridal party this morning, so I’ll just have to grab a Tylenol and some orange juice on the way over to her.”
“Oh.” I can’t hide my disappointment. “So, does that mean you’ll be gone all day?” Not that it matters. I’ll just miss her.
Okay, that’s a little much.
“Yeah, we’ll be doing our hair and makeup afterwards. But I’ll see you at the wedding tonight. Do you know where to go and all that?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there.”
“Okay, great. Also, Mom will probably want you to sit with the family, okay? Just don’t make it weird. She doesn’t know that this relationship will be over for us in a day or so.”
I frown. “You should probably wait a couple weeks before you tell her we broke up. Otherwise, it’ll be really suspicious.”
“Well, yeah, I know that,” she says, sighing. “I just meant for us , this whole ruse will be over in a couple of days.” Addy pats my chest as she slips past me for the door and makes her way out into the hallway.
I stare at the door long after she’s gone, zoning out again. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but part of me is not looking forward to going home—and I realize just how contradictory my feelings are.
After spending most of my day at the gym, I finally roll into the wedding right on time, dressed in a light gray suit. There’s a legit dress code, and while I think it’s crazy, I’d never buck the rules, for Addy’s sake.
“What party?” an usher asks me, and I just stare at him, having no clue what he’s talking about.
“Uh…”
“That’s Addy’s boyfriend,” someone says from behind me. I turn and make eye contact with a person I don’t know, but it’s clear they know me. This goes to show just how far this whole scheme is reaching—and suddenly, I feel weird…
“Oh, I’ve saved your seat,” the usher says, leading me up to the front of the church, or whatever this place is. It’s a wedding chapel with pews, so I assume it’s fine to call it a church. My heart thumps in my chest as I take my seat in the third row and stare at the program the usher hands me.
I read through it, noticing that, according to the schedule, the pictures are already done. I breathe out a sigh of relief. Addy must’ve been able to weasel me out of being in any of the family pictures. Which is a relief, considering I’ve never taken family photos in my life. It’s hard to take family photos when you don’t have an actual family…
But with Addy I could.
I startle at the intrusive thought. But before I can analyze it, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up to see Addy’s mom and stand up immediately, as if she’s a drill sergeant or something.
“Mrs. Williams,” I choke out, feeling way more intimidated by her presence than I’ve ever felt around Addy’s dad. This woman is the one who runs the roost, of that I’m certain.
But she smiles up at me. “I’m glad you were put in the right seat.”
“I’m just glad I didn’t mess anything up.” I rub the sweat from my palms onto my pant legs, hoping she doesn’t notice.
She chuckles and pats my arm gently. “It’s been a pleasant surprise having you here in Hawaii. You and Addy look really great together.”
“It helps that she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” I just admitted one of my deepest secrets out loud, and I think it shows on my face.
“I know I don’t always show it, but I like you, Blaze.” She grins.
“Thank you.” I gulp.
“And I’ve always known you liked Addy,” she adds, “I just wondered how long it would take for you to finally make your move. Seeing you two together these past few days has illuminated just how well you complement one another. I’m glad you two found each other.”
I try to compose myself as she pats my arm once more. I haven’t seen this side of Addy’s mom. And she just uttered words that I never thought I’d hear from her, words that the younger version of me would’ve been overjoyed to hear.
She’s gonna be crushed when I have to stage a breakup with her daughter after all this.
“Anyway,” she says, “I’ll let Addy know you made it.”
I nod, and as soon as she leaves, I take my seat again and stare at the pamphlet to distract myself. Because if I’m being honest, this whole situation makes me uncomfortable. Maybe it’s because I feel like I’m a part of their family—and I mean, to some degree, I’ve always felt that way, but now…
Now it hits a little harder.
Fifteen minutes later, the chapel is packed, and the music starts playing. I stare at the large double doors as Addy appears, arm in arm with the tall blond guy, Brandon. She’s wearing a floor-length lavender dress, cinched at her waist and then flowing outward. Her hair is beautifully styled half-up, half-down, with luscious waves cascading down her back. Although I usually prefer her natural look …
Tonight, she looks incredible .
As they start down the aisle, I see her scanning the faces of the crowd. My heart ramps up in my chest, and I try not to pass out when her eyes finally meet mine … and she smiles . I return it, and suddenly I can’t help but wonder, is that what she’d look like if it was her wedding day? Would I be okay seeing her walk past me in a white dress?
My chest tightens, but I shake my head at the thought and settle in for the rest of the ceremony. Addy is a long way from getting married to someone, so I don’t have to think about it right now.
But whenever that happens, I’ll be her friend and support her like she deserves.
Because by then, I’ll have had a chance to put some distance between my heart and this fake dating arrangement.
Right?