19. Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Nineteen
Blaze
I slowly blink my eyes open, the remnants of a restless night still clinging to me. As I shift in bed, my hand instinctively reaches out to the empty space beside me, expecting to feel Addy’s presence. But she’s not there.
And I know exactly why.
I broke the rules. Me. Blaze Harris. The one who set them in the first place .
As I sit up, groggily rubbing my eyes, memories of last night come rushing back. I remember the feeling of Addy’s lips against mine. The way her fingers wrapped around my neck, pulling me closer. The way her body molded against my own as if we were made for each other.
She’s all I can think about.
But when I went after her last night, I saw that her dad beat me to the punch. It’s probably for the best, though, because even now, I still don’t know what to say. Or how to even feel. Kissing her was like a long lost dream coming true. And if I’m being honest, there’s a part of me that wants to kiss her again.
Which is bad.
Bad, bad, bad.
Especially considering she’s already mad at me.
But we’re leaving Hawaii tomorrow, so I need to figure this out fast. I need to find a way to make things right between us.
And so, I come up with yet another plan and make a few phone calls.
“You slept in.” Addy appears in the doorway, staring me down as I sit on the edge of the bed, having just gotten dressed for the day.
“I tried waiting up for you, but once it hit two a.m., I got too tired.” I shrug.
“Yeah, I was busy making my rounds and seeing everyone. You know how it goes.”
I blow out a sharp breath. “You were avoiding me.”
Her cheeks flush. “Yeah, well, you broke the rules, and I was trying to figure out what to do about it.”
I shake my head as I stand to my feet. “Maybe just forgive me?”
She hums and then makes a face. “Not yet.”
“Okay, then at least let me make it up to you.” I nod toward the door. “Let’s get out of here, and we can talk about everything. I’ve got a place in mind.”
And if our discussion today involves exploring our relationship beyond friendship, maybe I could think about it.
Or maybe I’m just going crazy.
It’s the kiss that did it.
I’ve just never had a kiss like that. Like her.
“Where are we going?” Addy asks as she follows me to the elevator.
“You’ll see.”
“I feel like you’re being really weird right now.”
“Well, I mean, I am,” I answer flatly. “I broke the rules.”
Addy diverts her gaze away from me. I can’t tell which part she’s more mad over—the kiss or the rule-breaking.
I take a deep breath and lead the way to the elevator, stepping inside. We stand in silence, and I try to ignore how she’s avoiding my gaze.
This is exactly what I was afraid would happen with the fake dating stuff.
When the elevator reaches the third floor, it stops. The doors slide open, and of course , Addy’s parents are standing on the other side. Addy immediately scoots herself into me, her back hitting my lower chest, as they enter the elevator. I place my hand on the small of her waist, like we’re just another happy couple.
“What’re you two up to today?” Mrs. Williams asks us as she steps in, a bright smile on her face. Addy’s father follows closely behind.
“I have no idea,” Addy answers as the elevator doors close. “He says he has something planned.”
“Lunch of sorts,” I answer, forcing myself to smile, even though touching her like this has me dying on the inside. My mind takes me back to the way I was wrapped around her last night, my hands in her hair.
“Well, I hope the two of you have fun,” her father chimes in, giving me a look—one that says you’d better not screw this up .
It makes me wonder what he and Addy talked about at the beach last night.
I swallow hard. “It should be fun.”
Addy doesn’t say anything as the elevator hits the ground floor and we step out. We all go our separate ways, and just like before, the car sits there waiting for us. The driver opens the door to the black SUV. A picnic basket is ready and waiting in the third row.
It’s amazing the things a little cash can pull off.
The car pulls away from the curb and takes off toward a private beach that I managed to reserve for us today. Again, it’s incredible what money can buy. I’ve never really been one to throw my wealth around, but I’m desperate to fix things with Addy—or maybe make them worse.
I’m a freaking ball of nerves.
“Well, this is fun,” Addy comments flatly after thirty minutes of dead silence in the backseat.
“Sorry.” I wince. I feel horrible and pray that the car will get to the beach already. “I just don’t know what to say. You know I get like this sometimes.”
“It’s okay.” She folds her arms across her chest, and that’s how she stays, even when the car parks and I climb out with the picnic basket.
“Are you coming?” I ask. “I really shouldn’t be drinking this bottle of wine all on my own. I might convince myself I’ll turn into a mermaid and go jump in the ocean.”
She cracks a smile. “I guess I should be there. For safety reasons.”
“Absolutely.” I breathe a sigh of relief as she climbs out. I’m having a really hard time reading her right now—which is abnormal for me. That being said, everything feels abnormal right now. My hands feel sweaty, and Addy’s gaze has my mind running in places it shouldn’t go.
I lead the way to the empty beach, feeling grateful for the overcast skies. I spread out the picnic blanket and then plop down. Meanwhile Addy stands there, staring at me.
“What are we doing?” she asks, biting down on her lower lip in a way that, once again, sends my mind running back to last night.
“We’re eating food and hanging out.” I pat the spot beside me. “So, take a seat, and let’s just be us.”
She hesitates but sits down … and then sighs. “I forgive you for last night.”
“Thank you,” I say quietly before pulling out the chilled bottle of wine and a glass. “Wine?”
“Yes, please.” She laughs. “My dad spent an hour last night giving me a pep talk about the importance of communicating with you about my future goals and desires in life. He saw us get into that little tiff, and he took it the wrong way.”
“Oh…” I pour us each a glass and hand Addy hers. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. And I still don’t get why you kissed me like that. There was nothing casual about that kiss.” She runs her finger around the rim of the wine glass as I pull out the fruit and fancy sandwiches.
My appetite is nonexistent, but she might be hungry.
“Okay, well, it… I… I don’t know why I kissed you like that. It just seemed like the right thing to do in the moment.”
“I see…” Addy’s voice trails off. She takes a long sip of wine, and runs her fingers over her red-tinged lips. “How about we play a game of truth or dare?”
Uh oh. I don’t like this.
“Or we could just talk,” I choke out. “Your games always end with me doing something stupid—like streaking across the neighbor’s yard.”
She giggles, her lips curling into a relieving smile. “We were young and dumb college students when that happened. I’m not going to send you streaking.”
I huff. “Fair enough. Go ahead.”
“Okay, truth or dare.”
“Uh, truth?” I offer, taking a sip of wine.
“Why did you kiss me last night?”
Of course, that’s how she’s doing this. I run my hands through my hair. “I already answered you. I really don’t know.”
“Hmm,” she says, sipping on her wine again. “Okay, your turn.”
I dare you to kiss me again. The intrusive thought makes my heart pound harder in my chest. “Truth or dare,” I say.
“Truth.”
“Okay…” I try to come up with a question that’s worth something, and I think hard about everything that’s transpired over the last few days. Got it. “What did you say to me the other night when you were drunk and we were dancing? It was something about college.”
She furrows her brows again. “I don’t remember.”
“Well, this is going well.” I chuckle, and right as I do, her cheeks grow red. “What?”
“I remember now.” Her eyes meet mine.
“Well?” I’m on the edge of my seat—hypothetically speaking, of course.
“I had the biggest crush on you in college.” She diverts her gaze to her glass. “I know how silly that sounds, but you were pretty much all I thought about back then.”
I nearly choke on the air I suck in. “Wow.”
“Wow?” She frowns. “That’s it? Did you know or something?”
I shake my head. “No, I … I had no idea. I always thought you weren’t into me.” My head starts spinning as I set my glass down, and it’s not because of the wine. I want to ask Addy if she’s been into me at any other point in time, but that’s not how the game works. “Your turn.”
“Truth or dare, Blaze?” She holds my gaze.
My heart pounds in my chest. I’m terrified of what she might ask me if I say truth . I suddenly feel like I’m twenty-one all over again, contemplating telling Addy I’m in love with her. I never did it. I couldn’t bring myself to say the words, terrified of rejection and losing her.
“Blaze?” Addy snaps her fingers. “Truth or dare?”
“Dare,” I say. “Haven’t done that one yet.”
She narrows her eyes. “Okay, well…” Addy rolls her lips, and my eyes drop to them, hanging there, dying to taste the wine on her tongue. And it’s as if she reads my mind. “I dare you to kiss me again.” Her eyes burn with a fire I’ve never seen before, and my body moves of its own accord before my brain can stop me.
My lips collide with hers, and this time, neither of us hesitates to lose ourselves in this moment. I’m all over her, slipping her wine glass from her hand and knocking it over in the sand. I cover every inch of her mouth, like my body has been desperate to make up for a decade of denying my feelings for her.
Addy threads her fingers through my hair, pulling me impossibly closer as she parts her lips for me. I trace my thumb along the curve of her jaw, relishing in the softness of her skin as I deepen the kiss, pouring all of my hidden feelings into this moment. She tastes like raspberries and summer heat, a mixture that I could get drunk on forever.
We go down on the blanket, our kiss heating up as I arch over her. My hand runs down her side, while hers is my hair. Her heart races against my chest, her body molding to mine as if we’re two halves of a whole, fitting together perfectly in this moment.
As if she was made to be in my arms.
I had no idea we had this kind of chemistry.
I nip on her lower lip. She sucks on mine.
A light groan escapes my lips, and that sound is enough to completely jar me.
This is inappropriate.
You’re messing everything up.
You’re going to lose her.
I freeze, my hand on Addy’s full hip, and break the kiss. “I’m sorry. We can’t do this,” I mutter.
“What?” Addy’s voice strains as she shoots daggers into my eyes. “Are you kidding me right now? Why?”
“You’re my best friend,” I whisper, my nose still touching hers. “Best friends don’t do this.” Panic fills my chest. “We can’t risk ruining what we have.”
Addy releases me like I might burn her skin if she touches me any longer. “Okay. Sorry for daring you to do that. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“I guess we’re even now.” I clear my throat, pushing up off the blanket and putting space between us as I eye her. Her lips are swollen, fresh from our kiss, and I don’t want to admit how crazy I feel for her right now. I suddenly have this strong desire to love her in the one way I never have before…
But I can’t .
Because Addy is the only family I have. If we cross that line and things go sideways, I’d be left with nothing, no one.
I’d be a lost orphan once more, with no place to go .
“I think I’m done with lunch,” she says, her voice flat. “Can you take me back? I need to pack since we leave tomorrow.”
I nod. “Yeah, me too.”
And somehow, try to forget this ever happened so we can go back to normal…