20. Brooks
TWENTY
Brooks
“ W hat is your damage? You choose tonight of all nights to do this?” I ask him, following him toward the back of my truck, still parked in the field.
“Well, yeah. When the bank couldn’t reach you, they called and left a voicemail on my phone. I’m freaking out. Five days, Brooks? We have five days to pay them or lose the bar; until you lose your apartment. Dad’s apartment! Tell me this isn’t fucking real. Tell me that they’ve got it all wrong!”
I pop the tailgate handle and let it down, hopping up to sit as Nick spirals. I hate this. This is what I wanted to avoid in the first place.
“It’s real.” I sigh, scrubbing my hand over my beard as I try to find a way out of this.
“It’s real. What I saw earlier was you dealing with it?”
I quirk a brow. “I don’t know what you mean.”
He gives me a look that says he saw just what Indie and I got up to before heading into the reception, and I clear my throat, looking away from him.
“That’s none of your business.”
“Isn’t it? You’re my brother, Brooks. I get that you’re older, but it doesn’t mean I can’t look out for you. Doesn’t mean I don’t worry about you.”
Silence rings between us before he breaks it. “Tell me this isn’t how you paid for the center.”
Closing my eyes, the reality I hoped would never come crashes down on me.
“Fuck!” Nick screams, and it echoes through the night.
The party inside is winding down, and a few people are stumbling to their cars, their attention catching on us as Nick turns and tugs his hair into his hands, breathing heavily.
“It was the only way to get you the help you needed, Nick. What did you expect me to do?”
Storming toward the house, he rips the door open and strides inside, leaving me on the tailgate, wondering how bad this meltdown is going to be.
I follow him, not knowing what he’ll do once he’s inside.
I glimpse him heading into the bathroom as I catch up to him. When I get inside, he’s splashing his face with water.
I silently close the door behind me. “You would’ve done that same thing.”
“The fuck I would’ve, Brooks. That’s our family legacy. That’s everything Dad left behind. We’re going to lose everything. All so, what, I could get a little better?”
A little?
I swallow, unable to bring myself to ask him what that means. It would break me to know we’ve gone through so much, that we’re going through so much still, and he’s not fully healed.
“It’s going to be fine. I’ve got something going that’s going to fix it.”
“Excuse me? We have five days to pay the bank. Five! ”
He’s gotten louder as he’s gone on, and I motion for him to be quiet as I look toward the bathroom door. “Calm down, will you?”
“There’s no fucking way I’m calming down. This is serious!”
“I know it’s serious, Nick. Goddammit, I’m the one who fixed it all! I’m doing the work, not you! So, get the fuck off your high horse!”
“Doing what work? Because if you had the money, you’d have paid the bank already.” He crosses his arms over his chest as he stares me down.
There’s this odd sensation in my stomach, coiling tightly and telling me to keep my mouth shut. I ignore it. “Indie and I have a deal. Taylor has a bet with her to give love a shot, and I’m helping her make it look real. We’re going to split the money in the end. She needs it for her business. I need it to save our asses.”
He laughs. “You’re fucking kidding me, right?!”
His reaction makes me angry and livid, but I try to remain calm. I don’t want this shit to trigger anything dark in him to surface.
I can fall apart later. This is what I didn’t want. I wanted this to go smoothly so I could collect the money and fix it all before Nick ever found out.
“So earlier, in the truck, that was you making shit look real to win Taylor’s bet with Indie?”
“Yes.”
“So, tomorrow, when she leaves…” Nick trails off, giving me plenty of space to give him the truth.
But the truth is, Indie and I, while it feels amazing to spend time with her, can’t be more than we are. A wager with an eventual end. Though I was hoping it wouldn’t have a messy ending, it seems inevitable.
“When she leaves, she leaves. She’s nothing more than a means to an end. I saw an opportunity to save our asses, and I did so.”
“Wow. That’s fucking cold,” he accuses, his eyes narrowing on me as he whistles.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had fun with her. But we both knew what this was when it began. We both know tomorrow is the end of this. I just have to make it through tonight, which you’re not making it easy on me.”
“I can’t believe that all this time, I thought you finally found someone. It was all a ruse.” He shakes his head. “It’s like I don’t even know you at all.”
“Don’t be like that. I did all this for you.”
“Did you? As much as you think you’re being noble right now, you’re using her. Not only that, but you’re playing Taylor. That’s fucked.”
“I—”
He shakes his head, grabbing the door handle and swinging the door open. And what stands behind it is the very reason for the tight warning that had blared in my stomach earlier. The very reason my body warned me to keep my mouth shut. Taylor and Indie are wide-eyed, tears staining Indie’s cheeks as our eyes meet.
“A means to an end?” she repeats, and my heart hammers so loudly that I think it might leap from my chest and fall at her feet to beg forgiveness.
Nick looks between Taylor and me before making off down the hall.
He knows what he just caused but also knows I deserve everything coming for me. I made this bed. Now I need to lie in it.
Taylor looks at me with disgust as Indie bolts for the front door. “I would’ve given you anything you asked for. You’re Spencer’s oldest friend, Brooks. But this…” She looks toward where her friend made her hasty exit. “This is fucked-up. She didn’t deserve this. Even if she was a part of it with you, you had to know she was falling for you. You can’t be that fucking daft.”
I look down at my boots, feeling small under her scrutiny. “I’m sorry, Taylor.”
“It’s not me you owe an apology to.” She turns and heads down the hall, leaving me ashamed and regretful.
I hadn’t meant to say what I did, or had I?
Did I subconsciously know she was out there and that it was what she’d need to leave? Or was severing the connection with her what I needed to survive her leaving?
“Fuck!” I punch the wall across from me, thankful when my hand doesn’t go through the drywall.
Turning and heading for the door, I speed after Indie. She came with me, so it’s not surprising when I find her sitting on my tailgate, sobbing into her hands. Each tear stabs through my heart like a small needle, bleeding me dry slowly.
“Indie, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were out there, but it’s not an excuse for what I said.”
She sniffles. “It’s fine. I knew what this was when it began. Fuck, I set the terms.”
Her eyes flick up to the stars above, and I revel in their shine against the curvature of her sad green eyes.
“I shouldn’t have said it. You were more than a means to an end. You know that. It’s just I had to make him believe… I had to make me believe…” I shake my head, biting my tongue as I try to find the right words to not fuck this up.
“Well, I think it’s safe to say we won’t have to worry about splitting the money.” She laughs, and there’s ire in her tone.
“I’m so sorry.” I fucked this up for both of us.
Had I checked my phone at any point today, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. I was too caught up in her, though.
I spent every last moment with her that I could. Proving how much she’s become to me; how much she means. None of it matters now. I have to let her go. She’s leaving. Going back to the same life she left because we fucked this shit up so bad.
“It’s fine. We always knew it was a possibility that it would end this way. It was fun while it lasted, yeah?”
All of me hates how well she’s taking this. I want her to scream at me. To berate me. I want her to tell me how badly I fucked up and how much she hates me.
Her accepting everything that happened makes it more complicated. Makes it worse.
“Take me back to the hotel?” she asks as she hops off the tailgate and turns to shut it.
Walking up behind her, I press into her back. Sliding my hand around her waist, I grip it firmly, holding her in place.
She gasps, her body pressing back into mine on instinct.
This is what I’ve become addicted to: How she melts into me and fits perfectly.
“I had to say it. I had to make it easier on me,” I admit. The admission’s easier with her back turned.
“Make what easier?” she whispers.
Leaning down, I skim my lips over her ear. I close my eyes. “Losing you.”
“But the money,” she breathes.
“Fuck the money. Losing you tomorrow will hurt worse than any lost wager, red.”
She turns in my hold, and I drop it away. Her eyes lock on mine, searching for something as she remains silent.
I take the opening. “Tell me it meant more to you, too. Tell me that this is more than a bet to you.”
She swallows. “Brooks.” Her hand lies gently on my chest, regret radiating from it and sinking into my flesh like a sad memory.
Tears sting my eyes.
“This was my new beginning. Or, it was supposed to be. Now, it’s just…” she sighs. “It was a mistake.”
Mistake.
The word rings through my brain like a train horn. It seems I’m standing on the tracks, reality barreling toward me, and I can’t move. I’m stuck in the icky, heavy muck tugging me down, rooting me to my eventual demise.
“I’ll take you back.” Stepping back, I create space between us, trying to sober from her presence. From this night.
The ride back to the hotel is silent and tense. My hand itches to find hers. To bridge the gap between us that I forged.
But I leave her alone.
She clearly doesn’t feel the same, even if I thought something was there. If she does, she’s a damn good liar because I detected no feeling in the way she dismissed me.
I feel awful for what happened, and now I have to find a way to fix my mess and her mess because I’ll be damned if I go down and take her with me.
I’ll wager it all to see her smile again, even if she’s not beside me when she does so.