Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Kell
This was the second time he’d woken up with her in his bed, and he liked it.
A guy could get used to this kind of luxury.
In fact, he liked it so much, he was going to ask her to stay for a third night. And a fourth. How about twenty thousand more? That sounded good. Twenty-two thousand, if they were lucky and lived well.
She was so soft and smelled so good, a mix of light perfume, chocolate, and sex. All Kell wanted to do was chill under the sheets with her, the brush of cotton against their bodies and the warm cocoon of the down comforter a world apart from everything else.
She smiled in her sleep and he had to kiss those lips.
“Mmmm,” she said, kissing him back. “I ache all over.”
“That means I did my job.”
“You’re very good at your job.”
“That is the kind of success worth pursuing. Intensively. Consistently, and with as much practice as possible,” he murmured as his hand roamed along the curve of her ribs, her hip, her ass.
“Again?” she whispered, her eyes flaring, her smile turning deeper.
“I do love you.” The words, so soft, so impulsive, poured out of him as his thumb stroked her lower lip, her wide eyes beautiful in the morning light. Saying it a thousand times would never be enough to convey how he felt.
“I know.”
“It’s crazy. You’ve been here a week, and I’m using the L word. And not the kind that ends with -oser.”
“I wouldn’t be in your bed if you did that!”
“My romantic skills are a bit rusty here, Rachel.”
“Not if you’re telling me you love me so much.”
“Too soon?”
The look between them deepened even more, Rachel’s eyes starting to glitter with tears. Were they happy tears? Sad ones? He couldn’t tell.
“Look,” he said, fingertips lightly tracing her skin, “I wasted five years not believing you. It wasn’t you I didn’t believe, though.
It was me. I didn’t believe me. That’s why it hurt so much.
The whole mess back then was a giant failure on my part.
I should have seen that I was being used.
Not by you. Never by you. But I was a twenty-three-year-old guy from Maine who–what?
Was going to be slick and sophisticated and never make a mistake?
Seems silly when I say it that way, but yes, I was that na?ve.
I was na?ve about my own na?veté, and then I made it worse by blaming you for something you never did, all to protect my pride. ”
Her nose wrinkled as she nodded. “Sounds accurate.”
“And you were right. Leaving felt easier in the moment, but boy, did it set me up for heartbreak down the road.”
“Oh, Kell.”
“When I am with you, the world makes sense. It has color, vibrant and real. Your mind is a playground I enjoy playing in, and no woman can keep me so centered. You see all the versions of me and value them. Everyone else in my life knows one. You know them all, and you accept them all.”
“I don’t really know all your versions,” she said with a lush kiss. “I look forward to knowing them, though. We have a long journey ahead of us.”
“Do we?” The question was painful but it had to be asked.
“What do you mean?” She pulled back. He could see her closing off and he wanted to take the question back, ask it differently, but he couldn’t.
“We have a big problem. I’m not leaving here, and you live in L.A.”
“So?”
“You’d never stay in Luview.”
“What makes you say that?”
“There’s nothing for you here. Your career prospects are less than zero. You could be a director back in L.A.”
“I just got fired, Kell. Or I’m about to.”
“You can find another job there easily. Markstone’s can’t prove anything.”
“I could be a director here.”
“Where?”
“Tom’s asking for a meeting to talk about the development job.”
“Director of business development for Luview, Maine, isn’t exactly comparable.
Half your job will be dealing with people complaining about moose patties in the paid parking lots.
You’ll enforce the red, white, and pink zoning requirements.
Any new businesses you try to bring in will be fought tooth and nail by people like… ”
“You.”
He grunted.
“No, not me. Not anymore. I trust you.”
“Really?”
“I do. Fully. One hundred percent. With all my heart.” He kissed her hand, then pressed it to his bare chest, right over the spot where four chambers beat for her. Every damn one of them. “You would make great decisions for the town. It’s just… this isn’t L.A.”
“Thank goodness.”
“It would be an enormous change for you.”
“That’s the point. When you love someone, you let yourself change. I wouldn’t be changing for you, Kell. I would be changing with you. I love you, too.”
No kiss ever felt as good as this one, and each kiss they shared felt better than the last.
A little gasp came from her. “What time is it?”
He looked at the clock behind her. “Ten past ten.”
“Oh, no!” Rachel jumped up and began throwing on her clothes. “I have to go!”
“Go… do what?”
“Check out of Kenny’s trailer! It’s February 13! He has it booked for someone else and checkout is at eleven!”
“I’ll help you,” he said. “And I’m sure if you’re a little late, it’s no big deal. That little trailer takes hardly any time to clean and turn over.”
“I still feel responsible. I don’t want to make it hard on Kenny.”
“That’s another reason why I love you. You’re so responsible.”
“And my flight!”
He went cold. “Flight?”
“I–I rebooked it, last night, when I thought this–” she waved her hands between their half-naked bodies, “–this would never happen. I thought we were done. So I rebooked my flight home. I’m supposed to drive down to Boston today, spend the night, and take an early flight out tomorrow.
You’d be amazed how many empty seats there are on Valentine’s Day. ”
“Cancel it.”
“What?”
He reached for her hand and pulled her back to the bed, her pants pulled up but unbuttoned, her shirt on backward, the tag brushing her chin.
“Cancel it.”
“I can’t! I have to…”
“Have to what?”
“I have to, well… technically, I guess there’s nothing back home that I have to do. I just…”
“You just have to stay. Here, with me. Eventually, we’ll go back to L.A. And if you decide L.A. is where you really want to be, we’ll figure something out.”
“I would never ask you to leave your home, Kell.”
“And I would never ask you to give up any part of your life that’s important to you.”
“Can we talk about this on the drive to Kenny’s? It’s freaking me out that we’re so late!”
He fumbled around on his nightstand and found his phone, typing something short.
“I texted him. By the time we’re dressed, he’ll answer. Not that I want to get dressed…” He kissed her, then stroked the tag at her chin. “Your shirt is on backward.”
“Ack!”
Lifting her arms, she made it clear she needed him to help strip it off her, her breasts right in front of him.
Did they really have to leave? How much could he pay Kenny to give them more time?
Kenny’s reply buzzed: Sorry, cuz. Need it empty by eleven.
With a sigh, and tremendous restraint, he helped her twist the shirt around and they got dressed. Rachel grabbed her bag while Kell made them a pot of coffee.
“We don’t have time!”
“I’m not drinking that crap Kenny has. We’re fine.”
A two-cup pot was fast, and soon they were all headed down the stairs, the three of them piling into his truck, Calamine jumping in Rachel’s lap.
“Oof! How much does she weigh?”
“Close to forty pounds.”
“That’s a medium sized dog!”
At the word dog, Cally shot Rachel an evil look.
“Shhh. We don’t use the D word around her.”
Rachel giggled, drinking her coffee, her face bright and happy.
The way he wanted to see her for the rest of his life.
“I do have to go back to L.A.,” she said softly, sadly. “I can’t hide here forever.”
“Of course. You don’t have to rebook. I mean, I want you to rebook and stay longer. But I know you need to go back eventually.”
“Sooner than eventually. I think the best I can do is through the fifteenth.”
“I want you here tomorrow. With me. All mine.”
“Won’t you be busy, running all over, helping people?”
He reached over and squeezed her hand. “No. Tomorrow is all about you, if you’ll let me make it about you.”
“About us.”
“Yes. Us.”
“I’ve never had a date on Valentine’s Day,” she confessed. “I haven’t had a real boyfriend since college. It’s just a non-holiday for me.”
“WHAT?” He pretended to have a heart attack, pressing his palm against his ribs. “That’s heresy here.”
“Not having a sweetheart on Valentine’s Day?”
“No. That’s fine. Calling it a non-holiday, though…”
“I’d better not say that on a hot mic.”
“Especially if you’re seriously considering applying to be director of business development.”
“Good point. That would be career suicide. I’m kind of an expert on that, though.”
“Thank you for doing that.”
“You’re thanking me for tanking my career?”
“I meant, thank you for tipping Mom off. You put yourself in jeopardy to do that.”
“You make it sound like I parachuted into a minefield in enemy territory.”
“Don’t diminish it. You could have said nothing and let Markstone's go forward. It would have ruined our family’s dream, Luke’s dream. And Lucinda would have felt like her legacy was destroyed.”
“I couldn’t let that happen.”
“Which is why I love you. You’re a good person. And I should have seen it all along. I did see it,” he corrected himself. “I just couldn’t reconcile what I saw with my own eyes with…”
Letting his voice drop off, he sighed. “You know.”
“I do. And I could have acted better, too.”
“Oh, no, Rachel. This is all on me.”
“It’s not. You know it’s not.” She patted his knee. “We’re grown ups. Nothing is ever all one person’s fault. As long as we stay curious and open, though, we’ll be fine.”
Kenny’s front porch was covered in Valentine’s Day decorations, red hearts everywhere, silver foil adding shine.
“Ten thirty,” Kell said. “Plenty of time.”
“I just have to stuff my clothes into my luggage. Grab some food I bought. Or do I leave it? What’s the protocol here?”