Chapter 36 #2
The thought made her sob harder.
“What do I want?” she moaned, knowing the answer because an image of Luke hit her hard, fingers going to the charm around her neck, the one she'd stared at in the mirror for three days straight.
He'd given her a handmade symbol of their past.
She'd given him a handmade symbol of his heart.
A heart she had no claim to now.
Now that she'd gone and blown it.
“Why did I come here?” she moaned into the pillow, the big, fluffy, cushy pillow that reminded her why she adored hotels. No pillow at home felt like this. Hotel room decorators had some magic she didn't possess when she was shopping in the housewares department.
“Why did I hide it from him? He told me he loves me. Loved me. What am I doing?” Her last words had a gritty feel to them, her throat raw.
I love you, he'd said.
And her reply? She might as well have kneecapped him.
She'd stumbled back to her car on Christmas night, alone, and texted Deanna and Luke her thanks for a wonderful evening, trying not to make the words sound snarky to Luke.
The next day, he'd texted her back, telling her the hours for Harriet as she transitioned out of her work. From now on, she'd pick Harriet up at Colleen's house and take her back to Luke’s, and someone from his family would come at the end of her shift to take over.
He was shutting her out. Even doing a hand-off of Harriet was too much contact for him. She felt abruptly cut out of his life.
Just like Perry.
That night at Mountain Dragon, when she'd run into Colleen, loomed large in her memory. His sister was right.
Kylie had hurt Luke.
And it hurt her so much to know she'd done that.
Her phone buzzed.
It was probably Wendy. She'd sent an SOS text to her, but it was three a.m. in France, so...
But no.
It was her landlord.
Hi Kylie. Perry never sent his half of the rent for December, so I'll need you to pay that and the remaining months in full going forward. I contacted him and his phone number is someone else's now. FYI.
“You have GOT to be kidding me!” she screamed. Life piled on, didn't it? No job, no Luke, and now... this?
Perry was the gift that just kept on giving.
Giving her nothing but grief.
Another text buzzed.
“What's next? Someone stole my debit card and cleaned out my bank account? Lightning struck my apartment building and burned it down?” she muttered as she looked at her phone screen.
It was Rachel.
How was the interview? she asked.
Instead of texting back, Kylie impulsively hit Audio on her phone, initiating a phone call.
“Kylie?” Rachel must have her as a contact. “What’s going on?”
Kylie sobbed before she could form words.
“Kylie!” Rachel shouted into the phone. “Do you need 911?”
“No!” she choked out. “I need a friend.”
“Oh, honey. Of course. I’m here. What can I do?”
“Just–just–just–” Kylie didn’t know what to say. All she could do was cry.
“Let me guess. You spent the last month living in two different worlds, too afraid to believe that what you have with Luke is true and good and real, still scared after being dumped by Perry, and now the job of your dreams is being dangled in front of you but all you really want to do is come back to Luview and be with Luke.”
Kylie stared at the phone like it was a talking walrus.
“Hello? Kylie? You there?”
“How did you crawl into my head?”
A knowing chuckle filled the phone. “Because I was in a similar place last year. You know the story. I had the big acquisition project here in Luview, for the chocolate company.”
“I do. I mentioned you in my interview.”
“Me? Why? I have nothing to do with children's television!”
“Long story.” Sniffles interrupted her crying. “So you get it.”
“I do. It’s not exactly the same, though–I didn’t grow up here, like you did.”
“I was there until I was fifteen. I didn't want to leave! My mom made me. Life could have been so different if we hadn't moved!”
“Sure. But you did. And Luke married Amber, and Amber died.” Rachel's words were firm. Clear. Like someone took a box cutter and sliced them in clean, straight lines. “Luke has a past. You have a past. You both have pain from that past. And you have goals.”
“Yes.”
“Goals that Perry screwed up.”
“YES!”
“But Luke isn't Perry, Kylie. And you're not the same person who left the city and moved up here with him nearly a year ago.”
“No. I'm not. You're right.”
“I'm not telling you what to do. I swear, even though I'd love to have a smart, funny friend up here. Someone in the family.”
“For someone trying not to be biased, you're failing horribly.”
More laughter, this time low, with meaning.
“I adore Kell. It wasn't always that way.”
“I heard you got attached to him immediately,” she cracked.
“Hah!” She took a beat, then two, before replying. “In your shoes, with an offer on the table for your big break...”
“That's just it, Rachel. It's worse than an offer. They want me to be assistant producer and coordinator for a reality TV show about a fairy camp in Love You, Maine.”
Silence.
Dead silence.
“They what?” Rachel croaked. “How did that happen?”
“It's another long story.”
“I'll bet. You must have some creative acumen to pull that off in a job interview! Wow–you're in a double predicament. You need the very guy who dumped you–“
“He didn't just dump me! He fired me!”
Heart speeding up, she felt the room tilt, felt the blood in her legs pumping around bone, a feeling of doom washing over her.
No.
Oh, no.
Kylie hadn't had a panic attack since that night in the donation bin, and there was no one here to rescue her.
The thought made her freeze.
“Kylie?” Rachel's voice sounded like she was talking through an empty cardboard tube. “What's wrong?”
“Panic.”
“Panic?”
A deep, hot flush took over both arms from elbows to fingertips.
There was a knock on the hotel room door.
Kylie shouted, “I don't need housekeeping!”
Tap tap tap
“I’m having a panic attack, Rachel. Please don’t hang up. Stay on the line.”
“Of course! How can I help?”
“I need to breathe.”
“Okay, Kylie. Breathe. Just breathe. You’re fine. You’re going to be fine.”
BANG! BANG! BANG!
“Hang on, Rachel. There's a maid at the door.” Words were hard, like she was juggling a mouthful of coins around her tongue.
“Okay.”
Kylie walked to the door, flipped the bolt, opened it–
And quickly realized the maid was none other than Luke Luview.
Here.
In New York City.