Chapter 1 #5
She shook her head and reached for her water. “I’m fine. Just–that was close.”
“On a day when we were both dumped and humiliated, the last thing we need is an accident, too.”
“I can’t end up in my own ER after a third date with Tim. I’d never hear the end of it!”
As they laughed, she wanted to ask more about how Jordy was handling so much change–new stepdad, new sibling–but she was happy to know he was still visiting in a few weeks.
Snow outside was getting heavier, the need for her headlights now evident though it wasn’t dark yet. As she saw the signs for I-93 North, she gave him a look.
“Should we go down to 95 and go through Portland?”
“It’ll be worse there.”
“It’s faster.”
“We always go up through Wolfeboro.”
“You just go that way because of the subs at that little café you love.”
“Damn right. Is it my fault my uncle got me hooked on them?”
“They are really good. Especially the chicken pesto one.”
“See?”
“But worth getting stuck in a snowstorm?”
He gave her a thousand-watt smile that lit up all the gloomy, dark places inside her.
“If I have to be stuck in a snowstorm with anyone, at least it’ll be with you.”
“That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“You have great legs.”
“Um… thanks?”
“Bet they’ll taste good.”
“Huh?”
“If I have to resort to cannibalism.”
“You’re thinking about eating me?” The way she said those last two words felt charged. Too charged. Moore smothered a smile with his palm, rubbing his chin, letting the moment fade into an unsettling, though not unpleasant, quiet.
That he trusted her to drive meant a lot, but she also knew he wouldn’t be as sharp after all that travel, so it made sense to have her at the wheel.
On impulse, she decided to go with the Wolfeboro route, because it would make him happy. Moore needed more happiness. Hannah had been nice enough, though she never hung out with the gang at Bilbee’s, and Moore had seemed content, if nothing else, to be with her.
Content was good enough when you were cursed.
“Oh ho ho, I get my sub after all.”
“Can’t have you gnawing on my tibia.”
“So this is an act of self-preservation?”
“Something like that.”
“You just like the chicken pesto.”
“You don’t know me!”
“Actually, I do.” The glance he gave her made it clear he wanted to say more.
Focusing on driving, she hoped her heart would calm down so she wouldn’t feel so jittery. The only thing worse than driving in heavy snow was driving in it anxious.
“I do know you, Colleen,” he continued somberly. “And so does Jordy. Know what he said to me when I mentioned the new performing arts high school?”
“What?”
“He said, ‘Colleen could see my sets.’”
“Awww. But you fly out there for every single one of his plays and musicals.”
“Sure I do, but it’s not enough.”
“It’s more than enough.”
“I mean, I want him here. I want him to know his family. His roots are here in Luview. Mom and Dad aren’t getting any younger. The Forsythe family has so many uncles and cousins. Cammie’s kept him away for too long.”
“You can’t push hard, Moore. A kid like Jordy is going to run away if you push.”
“I know.”
“I know you know.”
“You know damn near everything about me. You might as well be my sister, too, in addition to being Luke’s.”
Every drop of amusement squeezed out of her like an elephant stepped on a tube of toothpaste.
“Ha,” she said weakly. “Right.”
“You know my favorite foods. My favorite beer. Favorite shows. You have this uncanny ability to stop me from throwing a dart like I’m a squinting drunk.
You hate that I eat peanut butter on my cheeseburgers but you always have some at the table for me anyhow.
You know that I suck at quarter-round trim installation but–”
“Right,” she repeated. “We’re friends. We grew up together. You’re my annoying younger brother from another mother.”
Why wouldn’t her heart stop jumping up and down like there was a trampoline in her chest?
“I’m your bonus bro,” he said softly, the end of his words coming out with a huff, as if he were about to laugh but felt something other than amusement. Colleen forced her eyes to stay straight ahead, because if she looked at him, what would she see?
Not what she wanted to see in Moore’s eyes.
That would never, ever happen. She’d given up long ago.
AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” came on the radio, which meant only one thing could happen next.
They sang along to it.
Then “Boulevard of Broken Dreams,” which Moore made a face at and let Colleen sing all the vocals, followed by “Welcome to the Black Parade” by My Chemical Romance, which made Colleen groan and beg Moore not to do it.
“No! Please!” she shouted as Moore began singing the words, every one with the drama of Gerard Way.
“I can’t believe you listen to this crap.”
“You know all the words to ‘Shake It Off,’ Colleen, so don’t judge.”
And then she was forced to listen to Moore go into the tortured chorus.
“I wish you had an off button!”
“So does Jordy!”
That made her laugh. Moore’s son was a delight to her, a fellow baseball nerd who went to games with her to watch the Love You team, the Cupids. No one adored the ragtag, misfit AAA league team more than Jordy, with their pink and white uniforms, hearts on every bat, and hecklers in every bleacher.
Unable to stand it any longer, she snapped the radio off.
“Hey!”
“We were losing the station to static.”
“Were not!”
“Then your singing was destroying my aural nerve.”
“Sorry to disappoint you aurally.”
Blanking, her throat went cold with shock, the rest of her heating up.
Was he… flirting?
Awkward silence filled the cab of the truck, or was it just her? She wished the weird tension in the air didn’t exist, but Moore shook his head and seemed the same.
Casual, easygoing Moore. No need to feel uneasy around him. He just did his thing, and seconds turned into minutes, and soon, he was turning the radio back on, shifting from station to station.
Colleen began to feel her wrists tighten and her elbows ache. Her eyes sharpened to take in the falling snow, the fading light, and she tried to stop berating herself for being unable to breathe.
“This is looking bad,” he finally said as he landed on an alternative station that was pumping out a Celtic rock fusion song.
“Yeah. But I’ve driven through worse.”
“Me, too. Remember the storm where the deer had her baby right in the middle of the road?”
“You were with Luke when that happened.”
“I thought you were there.”
“No.”
“I guess I’m inserting you into my memories,” he said with a quiet speculation that made her heart gallop again. Was she imagining this? What was going on? The skin around her belly began to tingle. For as cold as it was outside, she was heating up fast in here.
A long, slow breath helped center her, but then Moore leaned toward her and she got a whiff of his cologne, which acted like an EpiPen straight to the heart.
Zoom!
“Any chance you have water?” he asked, searching the large center console.
“Yep. Brought two water bottles and two coffees.”
“Seriously?”
“You know I always do that.”
“I know. I just can’t believe you always do that.”
“What does that mean?”
“You’re always prepared. Not just prepared…” His voice trailed off as he found the bottles, then grabbed a small thermos and opened it, peering in. “This one mine?”
“If it’s red, then yes.”
He took a sip.
“Milk, no sugar,” he said. “Down to the smallest detail. You do these things as if you really care.”
“I do these things because it heads off problems down the road.”
“Nah. I think it’s because you’re secretly a marshmallow underneath that tough exterior.”
“How dare you!” she joked. “Don’t let my deep, dark truth become known! I work hard to keep it hidden!”
“Not hard enough. You’re one of the kindest people I know, Colleen.”
There it was again. That tone.
The tone she must be imagining.
“I think kindness is underrated,” she said sincerely.
If he was going to talk like this, might as well join in.
The road conditions were deteriorating and she was genuinely concerned.
Not enough to stop–yet–and if they could get to Wolfeboro, they had a chance of getting some food and assessing the situation.
Besides, she enjoyed his conversation. Moore had a way of taking sudden verbal detours to places that made her feel better about the world afterwards.
“You’re right,” he said between sips of coffee, staring straight ahead as she watched her speed. They were on a wider highway now, though two lanes only, but she kept going at 55 mph and looked at the clock, then the odometer.
Well on their way.
Her phone buzzed with a text. She motioned for Moore to look at it.
“What if it’s a sexy text?” he joked.
“From who? Tim?” A snort was all she could muster.
“It’s Luke.”
“Definitely no sexy texts there.” She shuddered while Moore laughed and squinted at the phone.
“He wants to know our route. Says the roads are bad up around Fryeburg.”
“Ok, Dad,” she said, looking at the phone. “Luke is my little brother. He’s not supposed to parent me!”
“He’s worried. Understandably. Last thing he needs is to lose someone else in a car accident.”
Moore could also get morbid. Fast.
“I know. Believe me, I know.”
Silence filled the cab, but no tension. The weight of Amber’s death rested in every molecule. Moore and Colleen had been Luke’s rock, filling roles her parents couldn’t. They’d both shouldered that responsibility without a second’s hesitation, and for that, Colleen loved Moore so much.
Loved him on levels she didn’t know people had until they’d gone through hell together.
No matter what, she knew Moore would always be there for the people he loved.
Moore began texting on her phone. “I’ll give him the route.” He hit Send, and while Colleen wanted to look at the phone, she forced herself to focus on driving.
“Huh,” Moore said. “Luke says Wolfeboro is probably safest.”
“Good thing, because we’re only ten minutes away at the rate we’re going.”