Chapter 18 #2
“Would someone pass the tub of popcorn that’s the size of Luxembourg?” Moore asked, reaching over to take it from Jordy. His hand brushed Colleen’s leg as the transfer took place, and it made her gasp.
She’d been holding her breath.
John Shanley was the longtime baseball announcer, and Selena Martinez from the local radio station was broadcasting the game as well.
WLUV was thriving and baseball season was a major reason.
Between the new radio tower that allowed their broadcasts to reach Massachusetts and improved tourism that got people interested in listening on the internet, life was good for Selena.
“Line drive!” John called out. Colleen grounded herself in the moment again, Jordy leaning forward to watch and stuffing a candy bar in his mouth. Moore munched popcorn and pretended they hadn’t just been forced to kiss in front of a hundred of their friends.
And then pretend it was a joke.
"Beautiful," Moore said.
Colleen looked out on the field to see what he was talking about, then noticed he was staring at her. She looked up at the crystal blue sky. "Sure is."
"I meant you." The sincere tone in his voice made her heart leap into her throat. The fake kiss was embarrassing enough, but Jordy's words had cut to the bone. Now here was Moore, scrambling her signals even further.
His hand reached for hers but paused, pulling back. He leaned in and whispered softly, "I'm sorry. I wish it were different."
It could be different, she thought to herself but didn't say. That funk caught her tongue.
"Hey, batter batter batter," Jordy called out, using his pinkies to set off a light whistle. Luke was the master whistler among their circle of friends, and Jordy had studied carefully last summer under his tutelage. Anemic, but still, his whistles were better than nothing.
"This is so hard," she hissed in Moore's ear. His jaw tightened.
"I know. I'm not sure when to tell him."
"He's only here for four more days," she reminded Moore, who nodded.
"We'll have to tell him before he goes," he promised. "And not the day he actually leaves. I wouldn’t want to dump that on any kid. He needs time."
"Day after tomorrow?" she ventured. Maybe some of the depression that was settling into her would lift if she knew there was an end date to all of this.
Moore's eyes drifted, going unfocused.
"That works," he finally said, nodding slowly.
The crowd jumped to their feet, Jordy screaming as the batter got a triple and brought the man on first base home. Suddenly, the game was tied.
"Go Cupids!" Moore shouted.
Jordy sat, reaching for the popcorn and grabbing a fistful. They all settled back down. Baseball was like this.
Endless dull stretches of time punctuated by sudden bursts of excitement.
Looking over, she watched Harriet, Luke, and Kylie all laughing hysterically. Seeing her brother and niece so happy helped to ease some of her dread. This was a good place. These were good people. Her roots ran deep in Luview, but the confrontation with Luke had led her to do some digging.
Doc Blythe had been right. There were plenty of scholarships out there to help her get a BSN or even go on to complete a nurse practitioner's program.
Becoming a physician assistant felt like too big a reach, too much time spent in school compared to what she would be able to do and balance in her life.
But these were individual steps.
First, finish her bachelor's degree.
Then she could make decisions about more.
And about Moore.
“LOOK OUT!” Jordy screeched, and she looked up to see a baseball flying straight at her head. Too shocked to react, she barely registered Moore’s instinctive move, his body in front of her as he shoved her aside.
The impact of the ball against his breastbone made a resounding thud, her ear pressed against his shoulder blade.
“Oof,” he said, the sound so understated, she couldn’t quite believe it. The crowd roared and John Shanley called out:
“Foul ball!”
Coming to her senses, she wiggled out from under a deflating Moore, who held the pink and white ball like it was a gold nugget.
“Here,” he wheezed, “I got you something.”
“Dad’s so lucky! Keep it, Colleen. He caught one for me two years ago.”
“Your chest!” she gasped, knowing full well Moore would have a huge, ugly bruise after an impact like that. Luke was climbing up the stairs, a worried look on his face. All traces of irritation at her or Moore were erased.
“Hey, man. Need me to get a paramedic?”
“I’m a nurse, remember?” Colleen said tightly, now standing and pivoting Moore into his seat. His hand covered the spot that had been hit. As she moved, she dropped her ball and Jordy carefully picked it up, holding it loosely in his lap.
“I’m fine,” Moore said with a huge inhale that expanded his ribcage, taking the exaggerated breath to make a point. Extending his arms fully, he lifted his head, neck muscles tight, shoulders dropping.
As he exhaled, his eyes flared, but he turned to her with a smile.
“See? Fine.”
Her hand went to his forearm, the rest of her wanting to hug him, be held by him, connect so she could calm down.
“Geez, Dad. That was one heck of a hit.”
Jordy. Right.
Jordy was here.
A hundred people were watching them, including Luke, who stood in the aisle talking to Mark Insfield, a nineteen-year-old EMT she’d known since he was a baby, and who just graduated from the vocational school program.
He carried a medical bag and wore an expression of determination to help, but was as green as could be.
“I’ve got this,” she called out, reaching up to Moore’s neck, her hand going to his chest. “How does this feel?” she asked him, pressing a bit with her fingertips.
“It would feel a lot better if we were alone and naked,” he whispered.
“Not here. Not now,” she hissed back, pulling away. In a loud voice, she called out, “He’s fine!”
“I told you all,” Moore informed them weakly.
“You sure?” Mark asked, uncertain. Luke clapped him on the shoulder and said something to make him back up, nodding.
The field cleared as the inning ended, Colleen’s eyes struggling to comprehend the board. Bottom of the third, heading into the fourth.
“Here,” she said, digging through her purse for a small bottle of ibuprofen. “Take two of these.”
“A beer would loosen me up better.”
“No beer. You really do need to watch that hit. Take the pills. Hydrate. Maybe I should ask Mark for an ice pack,” she said to herself, reconsidering.
“I might even need a nurse to watch over me in bed.”
“Stop!”
His laughter made her join in, wishing they could hold hands, put their arms around each other, lean against one another.
For now, they were maintaining the image of being just friends. Within the next two days, that would all change. Looking to her right, she observed Jordy without drawing attention to herself.
Stepmother.
Thinking that word was a leap–a huge one–but not out of the realm of possibility. She’d cared for Jordy since he was born, and their kinship had remained strong through his moves, the long distance, and his anger toward Moore.
Maybe this was who she was meant to be: his stepmother, someday.
At the same time, her research into scholarships for advanced training loomed large. Getting a BSN would be somewhat easier than she’d thought, given a program she’d recently discovered in New Hampshire, one that would let her do all the classes online.
They even had an MSN program.
Other programs, though, with more hands-on experience required, meant she’d have to leave town. Balancing what might be with Moore versus what might be outside of Luview weighed heavily on her.
One glance at him made her frown.
“You look like you’re in pain.”
“Waiting for the ibuprofen to kick in.”
She stood, moving past him toward the aisle. Luke was still talking to Mark, but down near the row where Kylie and Harriet were sitting.
“Where are you going?” Moore asked.
“Getting you an ice pack.”
As he stammered, she moved swiftly, jogging lightly down to her brother and Mark, who looked at her with mild alarm.
“Does Moore need assistance? I knew I should have helped.”
“Just an ice pack. I gave him ibuprofen and I’m watching him carefully.”
“Bet you are,” Luke muttered, making Mark frown at him.
“I can do my job!” Mark said in a high, defensive tone. Dressed in a pink EMT uniform and carrying a red medical bag with the Love You Cupids logo on it, he fit right into town.
It took a moment for Colleen to realize Mark thought Luke’s snarky comment was aimed at him and not her.
“You’re a great EMT, Mark. No problem there. Hand me an ice pack,” she said with a smile.
Mark did as told, giving her a questioning smile.
“You’ll call me if something goes wrong?”
“Sure will.”
Moving a bit more slowly back up the stairs, she cracked the pack open, releasing the cold. She reached their seats and slapped the pack on Moore’s chest.
“Oof!”
“Hold it there.”
As she sat down, Jordy handed her the prized ball. She bounced it in her hands a few times, shaking her head, hostility pouring out at the inanimate object that just tried to break her face.
And yet… it was a prized souvenir now.
“Attention, fans! The Luview High School flag line has joined forces with Love You Dance for a rousing performance of ‘Cups’!”
“I didn’t know they did performances during games!” Jordy gasped, leaning forward to watch.
“It’s new,” she told him. “Started at the end of the season last year.”
“This is great!”
“Bet they’ll partner with the new performing arts high school next year, too.”
As the opening beats of the song began, played by the high school drum line, the crowd began clapping along, the groove fun to fall into.
Moore started clapping, but Colleen made him hold the ice in place. He sighed and sat back, shooting her a grateful smile.
For the next minute, everyone’s body was infused with the beat, joy filling the stadium.
“Don’t you feel that, Moore? The rush?”
“The rush?”
“It's–oh, it’s so hard to describe. I guess because words don’t matter? I don’t know. It’s just this feeling like I’m in their body and they’re in mine, and when they move, I move, and it’s all just–body. The rush. You know? Don’t you feel it?”
He looked at her, cheeks flushed, eyes crazy excited, her whole heart into this.
“I do. I feel it, too.”
Barely able to contain herself, she wanted to jump to her feet, run onto the field, and join the dancers, the feeling so freeing.
As the song ended, they all rose to their feet, including Moore, though he didn’t clap. The rush inside her was so strong, she nearly kissed him.
Nearly.
How much longer would nearly be enough?
As the game resumed, her pulse slowed, her limbs calmed, and her mind refocused. A tug in her heart turned to a dull ache, nothing compared to the pain in Moore’s chest, she imagined, after that sacrifice to save her from the ball’s impact.
But it hurt. A lot.
Today, she was at a baseball game with her friend.
And that was all she was allowed.
For now.