Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Ana
“So that’s it?” she asked Rick, who sat on the other side of his desk, laptop folded, reading glasses perched on the fine, long bone of his nose.
He reminded her of her department chair in graduate school, when she explained she would be opening her own practice after graduating and getting her license.
Strategically neutral.
“That’s the beginning.”
“Harris really terminated his parental rights so easily?” She struggled to keep the shaking out of her voice.
“He has voluntarily surrendered. We have a legal document he has signed. He could try to contest it in the future, but I don’t think he will, given the felony charge against him.”
“What does a felony charge have to do with parental rights?” Ana fought the rising anxiety in her stomach. Now at eleven weeks, she was just starting to get some relief from the morning sickness.
This conversation brought the nausea roaring back.
“If he were ever convicted of a violent felony, you would have a strong case to terminate his rights.”
“I thought you said he just surrendered them.”
Rick sighed, removing the glasses. “Honey, I’m a tax lawyer.
Not family law. I called in some favors from some friends.
But I do know one thing: Guys like Harris are bad news, and he’ll never set foot in the U.S.
again with those charges against him. It’s hard to terminate parental rights before a baby is born, and much harder if the parent in question is unwilling.
By getting him to sign a surrender, and knowing he has felony charges waiting for him if he comes back to the States, I think you’re in good shape.
You don’t have to put him on the birth certificate. ”
Her body flooded with an icy surge.
“What?”
“It’s–it’s your prerogative.
“That would make everything easier.”
“Unless he comes back and wants a paternity test.”
“But you just said–”
Rick held up his palm.
“I know what I said. And trust me, the bastard isn’t coming back.” He reached for a small glass on a cork coaster, the amber liquid familiar. Rick wasn’t a big drinker, but he typically had a double shot of bourbon, neat, during a stressful case.
Pure, cold steel was in her stepfather’s voice, a hidden agenda wrapped up in his baritone fury.
“Did you–did you threaten him?”
A harsh laugh was his answer. He finished his drink in one gulp, the ice clinking like an exclamation point, then lowered the glass, cradling it in his palm.
“I’m not stupid. He’s not worth losing my law license over.”
“Then… what?”
“He asked for money.”
A groan the size of her regret over ever being involved with him came from deep inside.
“Of course he did.”
“Let’s just say I wasn’t exactly shocked.” Rick frowned. “You really never told him about your trust fund?”
“I told you I didn’t.”
“Why not?”
Conversations like this weren’t typical with Rick. In fact, they were nonexistent.
“I don’t know. Mom says maybe it was my intuition.”
Rick’s mouth went flat at that. “That’s a way of saying you never truly trusted him.”
“Turns out I was right.”
“Sure were. Good thing you kept the money private.”
“What did he ask for?”
“Bitcoin.”
Ana’s eyebrows shot up. “How many?”
“About enough to equal a million dollars.”
“Please tell me you did not give him that kind of money!”
“Hell, no. A small fraction of that.”
“Such an asshole.”
“We established that a long time ago.”
“How much did he take in exchange for giving up his… our… child?”
As he stood, Rick looked away. “You’re an adult. This is all in the file.” He tapped a manila folder. “And in the secure online vault. I know you have your own mind and will do whatever you want regardless, but I’m going to give you some unsolicited advice.”
“Sure! Why not?” Ana said sarcastically. “Mrs. Montini next door has been doing it since she found out I was pregnant. I’m not supposed to eat apple seeds or black jelly beans.”
“My advice is a little less specific.” He gave her a gentle smile. It was almost fatherly. “Don’t read the file. Don’t think about Harris. Don’t waste a single speck of your time or energy on him now. I took care of him.”
A tiny chill shot up her spine. “Took… care?”
“Hah. Not like that. Just… I took out the trash, okay? And when the baby’s born, we have other legal maneuvers we can use to shut Harris out even more, and make this rock solid.”
“Like what?”
“Like if you meet a man and he wants to adopt the child. Or, uh…” he frowned. “A woman.”
“A woman?”
“If you ever have a partner,” Rick said pointedly, “who wants to be the other parent, that would make it easy to complete the termination of parental rights.”
“Oh! Now I understand.”
“Good. As far as I’m concerned, Ana, your baby has no father. Maybe you could think of it that way, too.”
Relief was what she was supposed to feel, but a big bolus of grief, full and dark, rose up in her chest.
“Right.”
“But he–she–will have a grandfather.” The corners of his eyes turned warmer. “And the best grandmother ever.”
“Mom is really excited.”
“She’s very fixated on getting you to twenty-six weeks.”
“Age of viability. I know. Fifteen to go.”
“You’ll make it.”
“Thank you. Let’s hope. Harris being out of the picture legally really reduces my stress. Not that I’m planning to run out and find a guy who wants to be with a woman like me.”
“Any man would be lucky to have a woman like you. Stop that nonsense.”
Ah. That was the Rick she was used to.
“I’m not being self-deprecating, just stating a fact. Most men truly aren’t interested in dating an already-pregnant woman.”
“Don’t rule out a future with a partner who loves and accepts your child.” He looked down, blinking rapidly, his shoulders loosening. “Look, Ana, I know we haven’t exactly been close since I married your mom.”
Oh. Wow.
This was a conversation she’d imagined a million different times, in a trillion different ways.
One she’d talked about openly with her own therapists, and with her supervising therapist in graduate school and beyond.
Losing her father in the very sudden, very public way she had at thirteen had been bad enough.
Having her mother marry Rick and learning they’d been having an affair, and that Rick was the reason her mother hadn’t been on that plane trip, was even more complicated.
Now here she was, two decades later, and Rick was becoming emotionally vulnerable?
Her gut clenched, even as her wise mind and therapist training kept her grounded.
“That’s a fair way of saying it,” she responded, her tone kind and as moderate as possible.
“And I know that there is a complex history behind us,” he added, his neck turning red, eyes widening as he avoided contact. Watching people struggle with their emotions, guiding them, was what she did for a living.
But she was helpless now, facing her own stepfather.
“There is,” was all she could say, sticking to simple validation that didn’t betray any of her own complex emotions.
“And we’ve never really talked about any of it.”
There it was.
Rick just pointed to the elephant in the room.
“No. We haven’t.”
He let out a soft chuckle. “I must admit, I’m at a disadvantage here on two counts.”
“What do you mean?”
“First, I’m terrible at talking about my emotions. And second, you’re a therapist.”
“I might be a therapist, but I’m really just a confused thirteen-year-old right now, Rick.”
Shocked eyes met hers. “Really?”
“Really.”
“Huh.”
“We haven’t talked about it. None of it. Not how it felt to realize you were with Mom that night.”
He winced. She felt like she was ripping a band-aid off her heart, but it also felt good. Really good.
“Not how I had to pretend I didn’t know. Not how it felt to be tolerated.”
“Tolerated?” His voice dropped, air rushing through him. “By me?”
“Yes.”
“That’s–I never meant to make you feel that way.”
“I know.”
“No, Ana–I never felt that way about you. Not at all. I’m–I’m sorry I gave you that impression.
” He came around the desk and leaned against it, facing her.
Rick was a compact man, a triathlete, driven and competitive.
His face was clean shaven, hair just a little long and quite gray around the ears, but otherwise thick and dark. “Frankly, I think I was ashamed.”
“Of sleeping with your friend’s wife behind his back?”
He shook then, like a wet dog, but regained his composure instantly, the involuntary tremor so fast, she almost didn’t see it.
“Yes. And for being the reason your mother wasn’t on that plane.”
“I’m grateful she wasn’t on that plane!”
“Yes, of course, but….” He cleared his throat.
“Right. Complicated.”
He looked pointedly at his empty glass.
“Ana, I brought this all up because I want to make it crystal clear that I am prepared to be this baby’s grandfather, one hundred percent. I never had kids of my own. Only you, and that’s been–”
“Complicated,” they said in unison.
Then they chuckled in unison, too.
His face dropped, flat and serious. “If you’ll let me, I’m all in. Harris is an ass, and I’m sure he hasn’t told his parents, if they even exist.”
“I have no idea where I’d find them.”
“We tried. No luck.”
“We?”
“Private investigators we hired.”
“Oh. Whoa. You really did a lot here. I never met them. He didn’t talk about them. I mean, it’s not like we were together for years, but still, I feel so stupid.”
“Stop feeling stupid.”
“Maybe I should see a therapist for it.”
That made him erupt into laughter, the nervous kind, a sound she’d never heard him make before. The idea that she made him anxious was simultaneously empowering and unsettling.
She instantly felt very, very mature.
“You know, Rick,” she said as he wound down, taking some deep breaths, “we’re adults. You’re my stepfather, but of course you’re not my father. I’ve always thought of you as Mom’s husband. Not so much a father figure for me.”
His expression became pained.