Chapter 14
LUCY
There’s not a Band-Aid wrapper in sight as I pace nervously in my living room waiting for Mike to show up. I cleaned up the house, shaved every inch of my body, and put on the sexiest panties I own.
What am I doing? Why would I agree to go out to dinner? We’re just supposed to be hooking up.
Before I have a chance to second-guess myself, there’s a knock at the door, and I’m instantly filled with relief. That’s what this man does to me, calms down the swirling thoughts fogging my brain.
Except now, instead of my mind tugging me down rabbit holes of anxiety—worried about what could be, what this means, and where this is headed—it’s running away with thoughts of all the things I want to do to him, have him do to me, and how good it feels when we’re together.
When I open the door, he’s standing on my porch, his brown hair perfectly styled and slicked to one side, and the light from my windows makes the slight reddish tint stand out. He flashes me a huge smile, his blue eyes lighting up at just the sight of me.
Closing the door behind me, I join him and pull on my mittens as he takes my hands in his. We stand there staring at each other. It should feel awkward, but I feel surprisingly comfortable. His eyes take in every inch of my face as he tucks my hair behind my ear with his gloved hand.
Holy shit. I think I want him to kiss me. Whatever plans we had to leave my house fly out of my head. There’s no way we can go out in public if this is how he’s going to look at me. Everyone will know we’re a thing. Are we a thing?
“Feckin’ hell, a chroí, you look downright edible.”
And now all I can think about is being exactly that for him. No one has ever made me come that fast while going down on me before.
“I think I’d rather stay in, if that’s okay?” I ask as his penetrating gaze heats me from the inside out.
“We can do whatever your heart desires.”
“Okay,” I say on a big exhale, my breath making a cloud in front of me.
I grab his arm and pull him inside, quickly closing the door before leaning against it.
I tug my mittens off with my teeth as I watch him remove his scarf, gloves, and coat and set them on the back of the couch.
Damn, his ass looks amazing in those jeans.
It takes him a second to realize that I’m not following him into the living room and he turns on his heel, slowly stalking toward me.
When he gets to the door, he presses his hands on either side of my face, caging me in. His nose runs along my jawline as he inhales deeply.
“Tell me again why we can’t be more?” he asks, his lips ghosting over the shell of my ear.
I don’t think I’ve ever wanted someone this badly before, but I shove it down, feigning indifference.
I’m determined not to let him get too close, but it’s getting more and more difficult each time I see him.
“While I might be ready to put myself back out there, I’m not ready to get serious with anyone again.
And I don’t want the boys to get attached to someone who isn’t going to be a permanent fixture in my life.
” The words feel like a lie, the line getting harder to recite when each time I see him I want more.
He pulls back, cupping my face in both hands, and I squirm under his intense gaze. He looks hurt, but I don’t allow myself to examine it further, even though he continues searching my eyes as if he’s going to uncover some hidden truth I’m unwilling to verbalize.
Just when I think I can’t stand another second of his attention, he leans in. Slowly. So fucking slowly. I can feel his warm breath against my lips with each exhale, but his lips hover just out of reach.
Every nerve ending in my body is on fire. Do I want him to kiss me? Fuck, I want him to do more than kiss me. I reach up and grab his lapel and tug his lips to mine.
The move takes him by surprise, but he wastes no time crushing his mouth against mine. It’s warm and perfect with just the right amount of lip nibbling and sucking, and I get lost in it as he melds his body against mine, pinning me against the door.
“You said no kissing,” he says between kisses, though I make no attempt to stop as I dive back in for more.
His answering groan sends a bolt of lust straight through me, and I can feel my panties dampening as I wrap a leg around his hip, seeking out friction.
“Tell me to stop,” I say.
“Like feckin’ hell I will.” He pushes his hips against me, peppering kisses along my neck and jaw, and I can feel how hard he is through his jeans. “Tell me you don’t want my mouth on every inch of you.” His lips brush along my jaw and chin as he works his way toward my cleavage.
“Oh my God, don’t stop,” I rasp as I thread my fingers through the hair at the base of his skull and move him lower while thrusting my cleavage out. He laps at my breasts greedily, making obscene noises as he lavishes my body with adoration.
And that’s exactly what it is—pure and total adoration.
I’ve never had anyone look at me the way he does, like I’m the most beautiful creature on the planet.
Never had anyone have trouble keeping their hands off me the way Mike does, like it physically hurts him not to touch me.
And I’ve never had anyone enjoy the way I taste like he does, like if he can’t get a fix, he’ll starve.
We’re just friends with benefits. This is just sex. That’s all it is. Even if it’s never been this good before and I’m starting to want more.
I’m lost in my thoughts when I feel him slide a hand under my thigh, lifting me so I’m forced to wrap my legs around his waist. “Mike!” I squeal.
As a plus-size girl, I never thought it was possible to find a guy who could throw me around like I weigh nothing.
But each time I think something is impossible or unlikely, here comes Mike proving me wrong in the best ways, resetting all my expectations and raising the bar for anyone coming behind him.
Shit, will I even want someone else when this is over?
“Mike. Put me down. I’m too—”
“Shut that beautiful feckin’ mouth of yours and let me make you feel good, love,” he says, grinding his erection against me as I tighten my legs around his waist.
He doesn’t give me the chance to reply as he seals his mouth to mine, kissing me fiercely, holding me tight.
He continues devouring every inch of my exposed flesh that he can reach as my arousal builds.
I’m probably making a mess of our clothes as I grind against him, and for once, I don’t care.
I don’t remind myself about what I’m going to have to clean up after this is over.
“We shouldn’t do this. What if HR finds out?” he growls into my ear.
I pull back, confused. What the hell is he talking about?
He cocks an eyebrow. “You know, because you’re the CEO.
And my boss. And I’m just a lowly intern desperate for whatever attention you’ll give me.
A weak pathetic man captivated by your strength.
Your beauty. You have no idea the things I’d be willing to risk to fuck you right now. Even if it could get us both fired.”
My list.
“Is that right?” I say coyly, trying to push down the inkling of disappointment as I fist the fabric of his shirt. “What do you want to do to me?”
He leans into my ear, and I steel my nerves.
His dirty mouth was shocking at first—no one had ever spoken like that to me before—but now I’ve come to crave it, desperate for every little nugget he drops.
“Nuh-uh. That’s not how this little power dynamic works, Lucy.
If you want to check this off your list, you need to claim your power over me.
That’s why you made the list, right? To take back your power?
So fucking own me, a chroí, make me work for it. ”
Swallowing down my nerves, I lean into my role, even if it is way out of my comfort zone. “I want you to rub that giant cock of yours against me until you come in your pants like the needy man you are.”
“With pleasure,” he groans as he captures my earlobe between his teeth, giving it a not-so-gentle tug.
“And if you make me come before you do, I’ll let you eat my pussy.” I can feel all the blood in my body rush to my cheeks at my words. Who the fuck am I right now? I don’t talk like this.
“Challenge accepted,” he says, never halting his exploration of my neck and ear as he starts grinding his thick length against me, shifting me in his arms so the tip of his cock hits my clit with each snap of his hips.
He lowers his head to my cleavage. “Take this off,” he says, biting the fabric of my bra and tugging at it with his teeth.
I let out a ragged breath. This isn’t something I’m ready for.
No one has seen me topless since I became a mom, and breastfeeding two boys wasn’t kind on my girls.
They’re not perky, not pretty thanks to the stretch marks, and all those hormones have made a few dark hairs sprout here and there.
I have carefully cultivated a bra collection to make them look way more attractive than they feel, but I’m not ready to let anyone see the way they look naturally.
Even letting him touch them in the tub was a huge step for me.
It still feels way too daunting to let anyone see the real me.
Powering through the negative thoughts, I try to stay in character. “Needy boys don’t get to make demands. They take what they’re given. Now, are you going to be a naughty intern or my good boy?”
He blinks at me in surprise. “I’ll be such a good feckin’ boy for you, ma’am. Please let me prove how good I can be for ya. Feckin’ hell, I want nothing more than to be with someone like you.” His voice is soft, pleading, and it almost feels like he isn’t pretending.
His confession washes over me, lighting me up from the inside out until I feel like I’m glowing, basking in the warmth of his praise. Is this what sex should feel like? We’ve had some great sex so far, but this feels different, more real than anything we’ve done.