Chapter Fifteen
Keston
I must be a damn fool.
Bailey had been pretty adept at skipping around any discussion of his personal life, and the more I watched him slip and slide, the more I wanted to know.
I could admit it. I was interested in him.
I mean, that was obvious. The sex was off the chain, explosive and intense.
And waking up with him next to me was…very nice.
Bailey was a snuggler and into touching.
I’d never appreciated the clingy type, but he fit perfectly by my side.
I liked the way he challenged me with his smartass mouth, and I enjoyed shutting it up with my lips over his even more.
Plus, he was a fantastic kisser, and he sucked my dick like it was his favorite fucking flavor of Tootsie Pop.
Shit. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think I was crazy about the guy.
We were on our way back to the cabin when the rain and thunder started up again.
A quick glance showed Bailey’s concentration remained steadfast on the road, which, with its poor drainage, became a swirling mess of mud and gravel.
Not pleasant to drive through for him, but good for me to keep my thoughts to myself.
Despite our decision to give this a try, I wasn’t sure where we were heading.
There was a lot more separating us than bringing us together.
Ambrose might be a pain in the ass with his dislike of the legal system, but he had reasons, as did I.
On more than one occasion, the cops had hauled me into court, which was how I’d ended up in juvie.
Did I deserve it? Yeah. I hadn’t been an angel.
After my time, like a stray cat, I’d become adept at hiding in the shadows.
Staying out at night to do my street art.
My foster family hadn’t cared where I was as long as I wasn’t causing them trouble.
I raked a hand through my hair. Jesus, how the hell would I ever explain someone like Bailey to Ambrose?
As my life became more entangled with Bailey’s, I had to acknowledge that priorities needed to shift.
His concerns had to come into play, and if they conflicted with my friendships, that was something I’d have to figure out.
Because I wasn’t about to give up what was growing between us.
I liked—okay, loved—having sex with Bailey, and he made me laugh, but beyond that…it was scary as hell to let someone in. To feel again. My life had become a dark void I’d come to terms with, but being with Bailey had allowed some light to peek through the cracks.
We arrived at the cabin, the rain still pouring down.
“Let’s leave the bags in the trunk for later,” Bailey suggested, and I agreed, having little desire to get everything soaked.
We ran inside and toed off our sneakers at the door.
Grady and Lauren were in the kitchen, along with Lauren’s friends, Faith and Della.
They’d already dipped into the wine, and I stood watching the two women.
I didn’t realize they were a couple until I saw them share a kiss after Faith poured Della a glass. Grady waved me in.
“Come. I’m hoping the rain’ll stop for us to grill, but we can do the steaks indoors if we have to. Plus, the owners of the cabin told me we could have a fire if we wanted, so I’m kinda hoping it stays cool tonight.”
“I wouldn’t mind a cold night with you under the covers making it hot,” Bailey purred in my ear.
“Mmhmm. Maybe tone it down at little.”
“Ookay.” Clearly confused, Bailey walked away, and I let him go. I joined the rest of the group and accepted a glass of wine from Faith.
“Lauren told us you didn’t even know Grady existed before you were in your twenties. That’s an amazing story.”
I shrugged. “Yeah. I’m still getting used to the idea of having family.”
“Which is about to grow larger.” Lauren raised her glass. “Maybe this time next year, it’ll be even bigger.”
I choked on the wine. “You’re pregnant?”
“No, but I want to start a family sooner rather than later.” She gave Grady a loving glance, and he kissed her cheek.
“I do too. I’m almost forty, and I want to be able to play with my kids. And we want Lauren’s mom to have the chance to maybe see a grandchild.”
“Nice.” I nodded and finished my wine. “I think I’m gonna go take a shower before dinner. Let me know if you need any help.”
I left them and went upstairs. I stripped out of my damp clothes and stood under the hot spray.
Grady was making a new life—wife, kids…a new family.
The whole package. Would he still have time for me?
The new brother he didn’t have such deep emotional ties with?
The prickly one who pushed him away as often as he hugged him?
I washed my hair and soaped myself. No more boys’ nights hanging out at the club with Grady as my wingman, or him showing up with a pizza and a six-pack to watch a game. He had responsibilities now. Someone else to talk things through to make decisions.
Out of the shower, I dried off and put on sweats. Barefoot, I returned downstairs to find a fire crackling. Rain continued to pelt the roof, and everyone had a glass of wine in front of them. A large board with cheese, fruit, and sliced meats sat in the middle of the coffee table.
“Did I wander onto the set of a Hallmark movie?” I joked, but it wasn’t far from the truth. Cozy cabin in the woods, fireplace with a fur rug, and everyone in their comfy wool sweaters. All that was needed was a Christmas tree and someone singing carols.
God forbid.
“We’re all pretty cute, aren’t we?” Weston joked, but I didn’t smile. I walked into the kitchen, poured a full glass of something red, then wandered to the living-room window streaming with raindrops, matching my mood.
“What’s wrong?” Bailey’s shoulder nudged mine. “You look…sad.”
I stayed silent and drank some more wine.
“It’s too much, isn’t it?”
“Don’t pity me,” I gritted out.
“Why would I?” There wasn’t any teasing in Bailey’s voice, and his profile remained unsmiling. “I understand. You might not believe me, but I do.” He plucked the glass from my hand and took a sip. “Come back to the group. Grady’s ready to start dinner, and I know he’d like your help.”
I nodded, left the window, and went into the kitchen. Grady and Lauren were working side by side, joking with each other. A throb of loneliness pulsed inside me. Carlos had given me almost all my best memories, but now he’d become a memory himself.
“Hey, you two, need any help?”
Grady turned around, relief written in his eyes. I knew I was being a bit of a bastard and decided to tone down the pity party. “Sure, that’d be great. Want to make the salad?”
“I’m on it.” At the large island, I assembled the vegetables and chopped and sliced, putting everything into a big wooden bowl.
I mixed up a salad dressing and poured it over the leaves.
As I worked, I watched Bailey, who’d been enlisted to make twice-baked potatoes.
He broke up some bacon, grabbed some grated cheese, and piled them on top of the split potatoes.
He slid them in the oven, chattering with Lauren as if he’d known her for years.
Carlos had possessed that same enviable quality of making friends quick and easy. I listened intently.
“I used to eat these all the time as a kid. When my father would work a night tour and I’d be too tired to make something, I’d microwave a potato and stuff it with cheese and bacon. My three favorite food groups—bacon, carbs, and cheese. Filled me up, and it was nice and cheap.”
“Where was your mother?” I blurted out, regretting it immediately, seeing him pale. He bowed his head.
“She didn’t live with us.” He walked off, and I shrugged when Grady met my eyes and raised his brows.
Past the wide kitchen island, I could see Bailey sitting with Weston and Brenner. I understood I’d touched a nerve, and though I wanted to know more, it would have to wait until later. No way was I venturing into that threesome.
For the rest of the evening, Bailey avoided me.
During dinner, he sat with Weston and Brenner and talked about their law-school days, effectively shutting me out.
Afterward, he, Faith, and Della decided to play a game of charades, and that was where I drew the line.
I took another glass of wine, and as the rain had lessened, walked out onto the deck, sitting under the covered part, staring into the trees.
The door slammed, and I braced myself. Grady sat next to me.
“You okay?”
I lifted a shoulder and sipped my wine. “I needed a break.”
“Yeah. I get it. It’s hard being ‘on’ in a group.” He raised the bottle he held in his hand. “I brought reinforcements.”
“Good man.” He topped me off, and we clinked glasses. “I’m really happy for you. You’ve got it all.”
“It wasn’t easy. I made a lot of mistakes along the way.”
I snorted. “Yeah, but you managed to turn them into wins.”
“And you think you haven’t? You know you’re wrong.”
“Yeah? I’m in my midthirties, and the only reason I have what I do is because Carlos left it to me. Name one thing I accomplished on my own.”
“Staying alive.”
The reality of his words hit me like a punch to the gut. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
Grady set his glass on the railing. “Listen. You make the life you choose to live. But you also have to open your eyes and see what’s in front of you. Not let opportunities slip by.” He rose to his feet. “How about coming back inside?”
Could he be any more obvious? “In a minute.” My smile was faint. “I promise.”
“Okay.” He rested a hand on my head. “I love you, Keston. I’m not pressuring you to get into another relationship. I just want you to see that there are still chances for you to be happy.”
I didn’t answer because I couldn’t. My throat closed up, and my eyes burned with tears. All I could do was nod, but that proved enough for Grady to leave me alone. It took several minutes and another glass of wine to get the damn emotions under control and return to the party.
I took a seat where I could observe the others. Faith and Della were sharing toasted marshmallows, and Weston and Brenner were still busy talking to Bailey, who sat with shoulders slumped and his head hung low.
Damn, I hadn’t realized I would hit a nerve by mentioning his mother.
He must’ve had a bad relationship with her, but at least he knew who his parents were.
Despite Grady’s words, I’d had enough of the warm and fuzzy atmosphere and decided to go to bed.
Hopefully I’d fall asleep fast, and when I woke up, it would be Sunday and I could leave for my real life.
I prepared for my exit and half rose from my chair, but Bailey’s phone rang, and from his expression, it wasn’t good news.
He crossed the room for privacy, and while everyone else continued their conversations, I zeroed in on him.
I couldn’t make out what he was saying, but his words came rapidly and he grew flushed.
When he ended the call, he didn’t bother to say anything, instead running upstairs. I gave him a minute, then followed.
The door to our room was open, and I stopped outside the threshold, watching him. Unlike the neat piles he’d unpacked, Bailey threw his clothes randomly in his overnight bag and tossed his travel kit on top.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he answered as he continued to push everything inside.
“Oh yeah, sure. Now try the truth.”
“I have to leave.”
“Obviously. But why? What’s wrong?”
“I said, nothing.”
I finally entered the room. “And I call bullshit.”
He zipped up his duffel. “It’s personal.”
I folded my arms and planted myself between him and the door, barring his escape. “We said we were going to try this thing between us. I’m no expert, but me supporting you fits that bill. I think we’ve moved beyond shutting me out with that bullshit it’s personal.”
His face burned red. “I have an emergency, and I need to return to the city.”
My brows shot up. “Tonight? It’s past ten o’clock. You won’t get there until well after midnight.”
“Doesn’t matter. I have to go. So if you’ll excuse me…”
“I’ll go with you.” The words came naturally without me even realizing I’d said them, and Bailey froze for a second, then snorted.
“Are you kidding me? Please move so I can leave.”
“Not until you tell me what’s going on.”
“It’s none of your business. You’re delaying me, and I need to leave.” His voice rose, and I could see he was upset, but there was something else I’d never encountered with him.
Fear.
“It’ll take me two minutes to pack.”
“I don’t need you to come with me.”
Ignoring him, I grabbed my bag from the bench and stuffed in it the few clothes I’d brought, then followed him downstairs, where he was making his apologies.
“I’m sorry, but I’ve got to leave. I have a family emergency, and I need to get to the city.”
Everyone crowded around him, but I hung back. Grady approached me. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know, but I’m going with him. It’s late. He shouldn’t be driving alone.”
Grady nodded. “Good idea.”
“It’s not what you’re thinking,” I muttered.
“Oh, yeah? What am I thinking?” Grady arched a brow, and dammit, I could feel my face heating up.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
Bailey walked out of the house, paying no attention to me, and I hefted my bag over my shoulder and followed him. When I slid into the car, next to him, he glared at me.
“I said I didn’t need you to come with me.”
“I have a bad habit. I don’t listen to people.”
Mumbling to himself, Bailey started the car, and we took off. After twenty minutes of silence, he finally spoke.
“Why are you really here?”
“It’s dark, and the roads are dangerous.”
“Who are you, Triple A? Try again.” He signaled to get on the Thruway.
We drove for a bit before I figured out an answer.
“I don’t know. Maybe you’ll need someone. You just looked like you shouldn’t be alone.”