Chapter Twenty-Five
Keston
Maybe I was making too much out of it, but sweat poured down my brow as we walked to the bathroom. From his confused face, I knew Bailey had no idea.
“I’ve kept this apartment exactly the same since Carlos died.
I haven’t even had the courage to go through his closet or drawers to donate his clothing.
” I opened the medicine cabinet and took out a razor, a bottle of aftershave, and some other bottles and set them on the vanity.
“All this belonged to Carlos, and I felt like if I dumped it, it would be betraying his memory, wiping him clean from my life. And I can’t do that. ”
Bailey wrapped his arm around me. “I wouldn’t expect you to. He’s been the single most important person in your life. Next to Grady, or course.”
“Yeah. But now there’s you. And it’s not erasing Carlos to make room for you.
I don’t need all these things to remind me of him when all I have to do is close my eyes.
Just like I can think of you when you’re not here.
” I had a crazy thought and spoke without thinking.
“Which could be rectified if you moved in with me.”
“I-I don’t know what to say.”
I laughed. “That’s gotta be a first.”
“Not funny.” He glared at me for a second, then said, “I would love to move in with you. But what would you say if I asked you to sell this apartment? I think if we take that step, it should be someplace new for both of us.”
It made sense, and I’d be a hypocrite to say no after telling him he should sell his father’s house. Still…I ran my finger over the marble top of the vanity. This apartment had been Carlos’s, and I was so damn grateful to have been given his love and protection all these years.
But like Bailey’s therapist suggested, maybe it was time to hold the memories in my heart and let go.
“All right. I guess…that means you’ll have to sell your place as well. Are you okay with that?”
Face soft, his smile was sweet. “Yeah. I love the place, but I kinda love you more.” At his words, my heart did a silly flip. “Besides,” he continued, “living downtown will make my commute to the office shorter.”
I laughed. “A New Yorker answer if I’ve ever heard one.”
His eyes danced. “Excuse me, Mr. I-Can-Walk-To-Work.”
This was such a spur-of-the-moment decision, but nothing I’d done in years had felt so right. “You think you can put up with my moody ass twenty-four-seven?”
Bailey leaned in and kissed me. “I’ve wanted that gorgeous ass and every other part of you from the first time I saw you. And once I learned about the beautiful heart you possess, no way I could let you go.”
I held him tight, needing the balance of toughness and humor he gave me. “I can’t promise I won’t get into a dark place sometimes. Don’t give up on me.”
“That would mean giving up on myself because loving you has made you part of me.”
I kissed him, my desire rising, but with regret, I disengaged my lips from Bailey’s.
At his protest, I nudged his cheek with my nose.
“I have to do this now, while I still have the courage and the mindset.” I released him and picked up the razor first, looked at it, and tossed it into the wastebasket.
Next, I unscrewed the aftershave and poured it down the drain, then put some other bottles and boxes, all outdated, in the bin with the razor.
Bailey remained quiet and watchful as I emptied the rest of the bathroom of Carlos’s things.
I left the bathroom and picked up several large bags from the kitchen before entering the bedroom. Bailey trailed behind me.
“Keston, you don’t have to do this all tonight.”
My head was already in the closet, so I poked it out. “I need to. Not only for me, but for Carlos as well. By keeping all this here, I couldn’t let his spirit rest. It wasn’t fair to him. He deserves peace, and I think knowing I’m in a happy and healthy relationship, he’ll finally be able to.”
It took close to an hour to clean out all his clothes, folding them into neat piles and placing them in the bags for donation. Groaning from the strain in my back, I rubbed the base of my spine. “Ouch, it hurts. God, I feel old.”
Cackling, Bailey flexed his fingers. “Come on, Grandpa. Stretch out and I’ll give you a massage. But lose the pants.” He waggled his brows.
The jeans came off, and I lay prone on the bed. The mattress dipped under Bailey’s weight, and he began massaging me, pressing hard at my nape.
“I’m starting at the top and will work my way down,” he crooned, following each touch with a gentle kiss. “You can do me after.” The wicked tease in his voice couldn’t hide the edge of exhaustion, and it hit me that I hadn’t asked about his day.
“Tell me how the trial went.”
“Motion to reopen,” he corrected, rubbing each vertebra. “Then another motion to dismiss the charges for lack of evidence.”
“Mmm, keep talking that sexy lawyer talk. Makes me hard.”
“I’ve heard that before.” Bailey peeled off my briefs and massaged each ass cheek. “I think everything makes you hard. You just want me for my body.”
Grinning, I rolled over and watched as he got naked. “What’s wrong with that?”
“I can’t think of one damn thing.” Bailey ran his tongue across his lips, and with a sigh, sat back on his heels. “Lucas should be free in a few days. I gather Ambrose was happy when he returned to the shop?”
“Ecstatic is a better term. He couldn’t stop talking about what a great lawyer you are and how you made the ADA look like an idiot.”
Bailey winced, and his eyes blazed. “Jerk.”
“The ADA?”
“No,” Bailey snapped, and at his tone, I sat up. “Sorry. I meant Ambrose. I didn’t make the ADA look foolish. I did my job by reciting the facts. It wasn’t the other lawyer’s fault—it wasn’t even his case.”
“But the cops were wrong. You said that.” Maybe I was missing the point.
Grumpy now, he swung his legs off the side of the bed to sit.
“Yeah. They screwed up, but Lucas is nothing but trouble. Ambrose hero-worships him for no reason other than he’s the big brother.
I hope he’s prepared for more heartbreak when Lucas screws up again, because I have no doubt he’ll be on the other end of some handcuffs sooner rather than later.
Maybe then Ambrose will get the message that Lucas is no good and doesn’t deserve his time.
I hate seeing relatives get caught up by family members who don’t give a damn about them. ”
Bailey was a great attorney because he cared about his clients, regardless of the fee.
There was so much more to him than he allowed most people to see.
The fun and joking personality was his facade, masking the sadness he hid from everyone else.
Just like I’d chosen to be hard and closed off, each of us held on to a past we could never revisit, but had chosen to cling to, despite how much it hurt.
Now we needed to create a bright new future that, like a tattoo, would be everlasting.
“Come here.” I patted the space beside me. “Were you serious about living in this area? I don’t want you to think I wouldn’t move to live with you.”
His cheek rested against my shoulder. “I wouldn’t mind a change of scenery. I have no ties to that area, and we work downtown. But I’m not sure about those high-rises where everything is cookie-cutter. I want my place to have personality. Like me.”
“I don’t know if I can live under such chaos.” I ducked away from the pillow he tried to hit me with. I grabbed him, and we kissed until our laughter turned into moans of pleasure.
**
“Can we really afford a two-bedroom?” I asked Bailey.
It was a busy Saturday, but I was on my lunch break.
Bailey was at his office, catching up on some files, and we were reading the listings our real estate agent had sent.
Almost two weeks had passed since the night we’d decided to sell our apartments and move in together.
Our plans were moving full speed ahead, no stop signs in sight.
Bailey had put his place up for sale, and it was snapped up in four days, with a bidding war driving the price well above asking.
Once he’d accepted the offer, he’d moved in with me as the buyers had asked for a thirty-day closing.
The real estate agent assured me she could get the same kind of interest on my apartment, but first we were waiting to see what she’d come up with for us to look at.
“You’re kidding, right? Between our places, we’ll have plenty of cash for a significant down payment. Remember, I didn’t pay much as an insider, and you said Carlos’s mortgage is pretty nominal because the apartment was a fixer-upper and he bought it before the East Village took off as a hot spot.”
As usual he failed to mention his father’s house. It was a ticking time bomb between us, something that had yet to be settled.
“I-I don’t know. These prices scare me. Hundreds of thousands, millions. I’m not sure I see myself with that kind of money.” For someone who’d grown up without enough change to buy snacks from vending machines, I couldn’t catch my breath at those numbers. It all seemed like pie in the sky.
“It’s overwhelming. Trust me, I understand.
” Bailey’s warm, soothing voice sought to calm my nerves, and he almost succeeded.
Almost. “But you’re not that lost kid anymore.
You’re a business owner, an employer. Plus, you’re not alone.
You have your family—Grady and Lauren. Friends who care about you.
Most importantly, you have me. The one who loves you. So damn much.”
My face grew warm, and I wondered if I’d ever get used to hearing someone say they loved me. “I never would’ve taken this step without you. It still feels surreal.”
The door burst open, and Ambrose rushed in. “Where’s Bailey? I need to speak with him.”
Without answering him directly, I asked, “What’s wrong? Are you in trouble? Is Carly?” Of course, I already knew the answer.
“No, it’s Lucas. Is that Bailey?” He pointed to the phone.
“Sorry,” I hedged, not directly a lie, and when I heard Bailey’s whispered, “Thank you,” I ended the call. “What happened?”
“He was with his old girlfriend, Tiffany, and they had a fight. Her pain-in-the-ass neighbors called the cops, and Lucas told them they couldn’t come in, and they did anyway.”
I struggled to keep my temper. “Let me guess. They found drugs.”
“And a gun, but it’s like last time. Bailey can get him off.”
I set my turkey sandwich on the desk. “You’ve gotta be shitting me.”
“No, can you believe they’d fuck up like that again?” Oblivious to my sarcasm, Ambrose danced on his toes. “I need Bailey to represent him.”
“Dude, I don’t think so.”
An ugly flush stained Ambrose’s cheeks. “Why not?”
“You forget he did that as a favor. For free. He’s not gonna keep doing shit like that every time your brother fucks up.”
“Forget it. I’ll talk to him myself. I thought you were my friend.” Without another word, Ambrose stormed out, and I picked up the phone and called Bailey to fill him in.
“There’s no way the cops would make a mistake like that twice, right?” I asked.
Bailey mused, “I mean, it would be a royally dumb move, but I can’t say definitely no. I’ve got some work to finish up, but tomorrow I can make a few calls to see what the real story is, if you want.”
“Have I told you lately you’re the best boyfriend?”
“Hmm,” he hummed in my ear. “Let me think. No, it’s been a while. Remind me.”
“Kind and thoughtful…smart…”
“Keep going.”
“Face of an angel, lips of the devil that suck my brains out through my dick.”
“Mmm, say that again, big boy, and I’ll be right over to make your dreams come true.”
I busted out laughing just as the door opened. My client Mike Flynn had arrived. “Hold that thought, and I’ll see you later.”
“I’d rather hold something else.”
“You will be, all night long. Bye.” Still smiling, I tossed the remnants of my lunch and went to meet Mike, who’d already settled in the chair. “Back so soon, I see,” I greeted him. “You really are addicted. And a bouquet of flowers you wrote when you made the appointment?”
His weathered face split in a grin. “Listen, I got a new grandbaby. Gotta put her name with the rest. I got Lily and Jasmine, and now Rose.”
“Sweet. You’ve got a real garden growing. Now let’s see if you like what I drew up.”
I showed him the sketch, and his eyes lit up.
“Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about.”
“Great. Where do you want it?”
He pulled off his jacket and sweater and turned around. “On my shoulder. There’s a nice patch of empty skin. I wanna nice big buncha flowers.” He flexed.
“You got it.”
I drew the stencil, but my mind was still on Ambrose and how he was allowing his brother to once again dominate his life. I hoped this time he wasn’t going to ruin it.