Chapter 21 #2
Shay's mind churns, her thoughts bleeding together as she tries to make sense of the information it's receiving. She picks carefully through each word like a scavenger sifting for treasure among scraps. Hind is alive. And she's somehow pregnant. And she's at the kasbah.
If Ghita felt any surprise at these revelations, she hid it well. Beni only sneers. “I'm supposed to overlook the fact that Snow kills women. Is that what you expect?”
“‘Kill’ is such a harsh word.” Deebi steps closer to Beni. “You still have some good cycles left in you, so why not use them for the benefit of your realm? Besides, I'm told the high of Snow is pleasing. I'm positive the experience is better than swinging from the gallows, at any rate.”
Beni slowly shakes his head. “You'll have to hang me.”
“Give me the child!” Deebi stomps his foot.
Shay's heart belts into her throat. The ripping sound as her fingernails claw over the seddari reminds her of where she is. It's all that keeps her from screaming.
Silently, Deebi sits back down.
Puzzled, Shay thinks the story may be over, but then Bono speaks. “The sound of the mukhtar stomping on the floorboards finally caused Sami to cry out. One of the Moulay fetched him, and another Moulay was ordered to take Ghita back to the kasbah.”
Dasri speaks again. “Ghita knew she'd rather die than become a drugged slave.
She fought the Moulays with vigor and even managed to wrangle one's musket away.
She pointed it at Jawad, but hesitated. She'd spent her cycles bringing souls into the world and didn't welcome the notion of taking one out, even one so vile.”
“The Moulays had no such qualms.” Kabeer relays the story's conclusion in a rueful voice.
“One of them shot the midwife in the heart.
Bloody, God-awful invention, those muskets.
Her last thoughts as she lay dying were that she hoped she'd done enough to protect the girl she considered her second daughter from the mother who refused to stay away, and that she looked forward to her soul's coming reunion with her first daughter, the one who was taken from her so young.”
Shay cries out, straining every muscle in her throat. Deebi cuts Kabeer off with a harsh glare.
“Too much?” Kabeer asks innocently.
“Bono, go get the Lalla a mug of clean water,” Deebi instructs. “She looks near to fainting.”
The room blurs in and out of Shay's vision, everything warped like a mirage in the heat haze of tending season.
She takes paltry sips of the water Bono brings as her thoughts unroll, stretching beyond what happened to Ghita to encompass the greater horror of what her leaders are capable of.
Like a homing pigeon with a singular compulsion, they find their way to Hind.
A magical debt. What if the touched one wasn't to blame for her addiction? What if Al-Mukhtar manipulated her? Made her into a slave to serve them with her magic? They would use her until she died, an ending that could come about all too quickly, and then what would become of the child?
Shay's sibling.
“Lalla.” Aidi's voice draws her from the mire of her thoughts. “I didn't want to bring this up so soon, but something seems to be missing from my wardrobe. If it isn't with you, well, then …”
“Khawla is not a thief.” Shay sets her glass of water down on the table.
She's been dreading this confrontation, but if Aidi wanted the ring so badly, he could have asked her for it.
Instead, he let her believe she could be hanged.
“The ring was mine to decide what to do with.
You told me you'd keep it safe, implying I would get it back.
Here's my question: How did you know it was magic?”
“I already explained to you about the posters—”
“No, Sidi, I have reason to believe it was only the midwife who was looking for me.” She folds her hands in her lap. The shame on his face reads like a handwritten confession. “Did you tell me I was a wanted criminal because you wanted the ring for yourself?”
“What? No. I only wanted to protect you, Lalla. Any embellishments or omissions were made only in service to that goal.” Aidi strokes his clawed hand over the bald skull of his cane, its crown beaming brightly even in the dim glow of morning.
“I don't care what the ring is as much as I care that someone tried using it to harm you.”
When Shay nibbles her lip, unconvinced, he adds, “What need do monsters have of magic?”
He has a point.
Relief washes over her. Shay still wishes people wouldn't tell her lies so often, but she's finding herself more liable to forgive liars depending upon the exact reason why they lied.
Yes, the bone-eaters manipulated her into staying with them.
The saddest part is Shay is more moved than anything else.
To think that they would go to such lengths, that her presence is wanted.
And Shay cannot find it in herself to sustain any anger while she feels such gratitude to the brothers for helping her. They have come through when she needed them to on more than one occasion now. They may not be perfect, but what family is?
Family. Shay never in her wildest dreams imagined she'd consider a bunch of bone-eaters to fall into that category. But then, she never thought she'd have one at all. But there's still the matter of her mother. Of her future sibling … The very idea strains the limits of her mind.
Shay understands from Ghita's memories that Mukhtar Jawad was not looking for her, but Sami.
However, this revelation does little to assuage her guilt.
She can't help thinking she could have done something to help if she hadn't left the way she did.
She could have taken Sami with her to Kiddah.
But she did, and she didn't, and thinking otherwise won't change a thing.
It's too late to save Ghita. But she can still save her mother. The fact that Hind now carries another life, another piece of their family, within her only solidifies her decision.
“Will you be honest with me going forward?” Shay asks Aidi, her gaze unflinching.
“You have my word. You are strong and capable.” Aidi sighs deeply, as if admitting this is a grueling task. “I see that now.”
“Good. Then no one will argue with the fact that I must go to the kasbah and help my mother get away from Al-Mukhtar.”
“But she betrayed you,” Bono protests.
“And she's an addict!” Kabeer bellows.
“All the more reason I must intervene,” Shay says.
“She cannot keep using Snow if she is with child.
It's a wonder she didn't die when she had me.
And now she is older and has been using longer.
It's difficult to imagine luck will be so kind a second time. And yes, she betrayed me, but she is still my mother.”
Shay looks down at her hands, wringing them. Her mother. Her problem. She doesn't need the bone-eaters’ permission to go. She doesn't even want them to help her. She's not sure what she wants from them. Maybe just for them to understand. Is that even possible?
“Where are you going to take her?” Bono asks.
Her head jolts up, and everything inside her spirals toward her stomach, deflating. She … hadn't thought that far ahead. Her body sinks into the soft belly of the seddari's cushions. No surprise there.
“She's going to bring her here,” Aidi says with a huff. “Of course.”
Shay gapes at the elder in shock, but when she glances around, she finds agreement with the suggestion written on the faces of the other brothers.
“We should go with her,” Dasri says. “It is too dangerous to send her alone.”
“We cannot go to the kasbah,” Aidi says firmly. “We do not directly involve ourselves in human affairs, and that would be crossing a line. We will, however, send for one of the rebels to help her navigate the forest.”
“What about Khawla?” Shay says quickly, and wants to bite her tongue.
They may be friends now, but Khawla has her own obligations to the Sisterhood.
Shay can't expect her to neglect those duties to come to her aid.
She wouldn't want to make the journey with a stranger, though, and considering that time is a luxury Hind can't afford, she needs someone who can make good time.
No one can get her through the forest faster than Khawla.
There will still be the matter of finding her way back to contend with, but Hind will be with her by then.
The two of them can figure something out.
Hind is the one who left her there in the first place.
“Fine,” Aidi begrudges after a lengthy pause, the pom-poms on his hat jiggling as he shakes his head like he himself cannot believe what he is saying. “I will send for Khawla.”
“No need,” Shay says meekly. “She's coming here after you leave for the night.”
Aidi grunts, but Shay swears she hears an undertone of affection in the sound.
“Don't worry, lallati,” Hammu says softly, his spectral eyes full of faith in her. “This will be a good place for your mother to purge.”
Shay nods, sniffling. The most she hoped was that the bone-eaters would listen to her and respect her choice.
Support her a little, maybe. She didn't expect them to open their doors to someone else just because of what that person means to her.
And Hammu is right. Ard Al-Ghul may not be a destination any human would visit on a holiday or dream of building their future home in.
There may be bone-eaters, bloodsuckers, and—if Shay's memories of the tales she grew up on serve her correctly—creatures called night hags, though she has yet to run into one of those.
But there's no Snow here. Which makes it the perfect place to bring Hind.
Shay just needs to sneak into the kasbah unnoticed and convince Hind to leave with her.
That should be easy enough, right?