Chapter Thirteen
Louise sat in the salon. Bessie had returned from her morning outing some time ago and had joined her. While Louise sewed, Bessie read the broadsheet.
“It seems Hawthorne is all the gossip. No one has seen him since last evening. He has discontinued his residence and left no forwarding address.” She turned the sheet. “I have no sympathy for him. Ah, you’ve been noticed.”
Louise lowered her sewing to her lap and turned to Bessie, her face marked with concern. “What do you mean?”
“Well, not you, your plum gown. Several people are trying to decide which modiste created it. You’ll be happy to know that almost everyone has said Madame Pembroke.”
Bessie went back to her reading, and Louise to her sewing.
It was nearly teatime. Louise’s mind was in several places, just not on her work. The periwinkle walking dress and matching pelisse Louise lovingly worked on lay on her lap. She stared out the window at the clouds that floated over St. James’s palace.
When she was a child, she and Christina would sit on a hillock near Thermitage Bulwark in Tilbury, where her father served His Majesty. Their spot overlooked the mouth of the River Thames that flowed into the North Sea. They would sit for hours watching the water and the clouds, but mostly the clouds.
Some days, the clouds were puffy balls of cotton that didn’t move. Other days, they were thin, feathery streaks that rushed across the sky, playing hide and go seek with the sun.
Louise brought her attention back to the present. “Did you enjoy your morning tea?” She fidgeted with an appliqué.
“Yes, I did. It was quite an enjoyable morning.” Bessie returned to reading the broadsheet.
Try as she may, Louise could not decide where to put the appliqué. She lost interest in the dress, her mind elsewhere. She removed the dress to the chair next to her, along with the last dress she was to alter for Bessie.
Even though Nathaniel and the project had taken up much of her time, she had been diligent in working on what she considered to be her primary obligation: altering Bessie’s dresses.
Bessie looked up from the broadsheet she was reading. She glanced at Louise, said nothing, then returned to her reading.
“Bessie…” Louise hesitated for a heartbeat or two, then continued, “I find myself in a bit of a quandary.”
Bessie put down the paper and patiently waited.
Louise paused, not knowing where to begin. There was no going back now that she broached the subject. Bessie was her only ally, and while she trusted her, she wasn’t able to look the woman in the eye. She feared that Bessie would think that she was being foolish.
“I’m not sure how to handle a certain situation.”
“You know you can confide in me. Nothing you tell me will go past these four walls unless you tell me otherwise.”
Louise took a deep, calming breath before she began. “It’s Nathaniel. I… I’ve come to care for him… more than I anticipated. But there’s a nagging fear that lingers in my mind.”
Silence. Why was she so hesitant? Did she doubt her feelings for him? No. She feared Bessie would counsel that her fears were justified.
She knew so little about him. Why, he could be in a relationship with someone. The next thought brought tears to her eyes. Even married.
Bessie leaned in, her tone reassuring. “Go on. What’s troubling you?”
“I’m in love with Nathaniel, and I fear he is of a higher station than I.” She squared her shoulders and looked Bessie directly in the eye. “I’m a simple seamstress, and he’s a gentleman. What if—”
“His world doesn’t accept you?”
There should have been horror in the words Bessie spoke, but there wasn’t. People in service didn’t think along the lines of acceptance. They knew their place. The whirlwind she experienced with Nathaniel was wonderful, but it was not real and not the way the world really worked.
“What if there is someone else in his life, a fiancée?” Her voice trailed off. “A wife?”
Bessie placed a comforting hand on Louise’s arm. “Let me allay those fears. There is no one in Nathaniel’s life, not a wife or a fiancée.”
“What can I offer him? I’m—”
“Don’t you dare make excuses for being a seamstress. You are an accomplished designer and craft the beautiful ensembles and gowns that are worn in the royal court of England. Seamstress. None of those fine ladies you clothe can create fashions like yours, turn lace and beads into works of art. Why, they can’t—”
“Yes, I understand your point. They buy my services just the way you do. The difference is you don’t see any differences between us, but they do. And their world is the one Nathaniel lives in. He doesn’t live in mine. Even if he doesn’t see or want to recognize the situation, I fear his world is too different from mine for me to fit into.”
Bessie leaned forward, took both of Louise’s hands and stared deeply into her eyes.
“Don’t let society dictate matters of the heart. Love doesn’t know boundaries. My beloved Colonel and I faced problems similar to yours. And yes, we faced opposition. In the end, we found out who our real friends were.”
“Like the Prince Regent?”
“Yes. Very much so. I created the private game room, the one you played whist in, for him when he became Regent. He visited with the Colonel and me often, and we became good friends. There were people who thought I should be excluded from entertaining royalty in my home. The Colonel would have none of that. And neither would the Prince Regent. And yes, things did change after the Colonel passed away. Many doors were closed to me, but Prinny kept his wide open.
“The last thing Nathaniel is concerned about is society. It’s the reason why he created this project. Further, let me assure you that Nathaniel sees you for who you are—remarkable, genuine, and sincere. Not for what you do or the amount of blunt you keep in your stocking drawer.”
Louise sighed, relieved, but her mind was still filled with lingering doubt. “I don’t know. You mean well, but…”
Bessie chuckled softly. “You’re not alone in this. Nathaniel is grappling with his own feelings.”
Louise’s eyes sparkled with excitement. “Are you certain?” was all Louise asked. Her voice betrayed her eagerness to know more. She waited.
“The two of you have been in close proximity for weeks working on the challenges. It would be odd if you didn’t have some feelings for each other. It’s discerning what those feelings are that’s important.”
Louise tilted her head and gazed at Bessie. For all her gruffness, Bessie was really a patient, sensitive woman.
“Love is a journey, and both of you are on it together. Trust him and trust yourself. If he cares for you, as I suspect he does, he won’t let anything stand in the way.”
Louise nodded, the weight on her shoulders visibly lightening. “Thank you, Bessie.”
With a warm smile, Bessie squeezed Louise’s hand. “Now, let’s focus on nurturing what’s blooming between you and Nathaniel. Love has a way of overcoming even the most daunting challenges.”