Chapter Seven #2
Felicity scooted to his side, lowering her head to his chest and placing her hand on his upper abdomen.
His arm came around her again, his hand curving over her shoulder, and Felicity closed her eyes.
This was right. This was perfect. This was the worst thing she could be doing in her situation, but she’d gladly be damned to hell before she stopped. She needed to feel this.
She needed him.
He set his other hand over hers. “Your hands are cold,” he said.
“My whole body feels cold. Like I’m trapped in ice.”
He rubbed her hand and her shoulder.
“Are you sure this is what you want?”
Yes. But she wanted more. She’d kissed him, and that single kiss had left her longing for something she didn’t think she could ever feel again. The warmth she’d felt from his lips, his hands, it had spread through her, melting her fears and worries, left her basking in warm beams of sunlight.
The moment had come so suddenly, she couldn’t explain what had given her the courage to do it.
But she’d done it. As much as she knew she should, Felicity couldn’t bring herself to regret it.
She’d done the right thing all her life, been a dutiful daughter, faithful to her father’s teachings.
But then those same teachings had turned against her. What was right? What was wrong?
He rubbed his hand over her back, and Felicity nudged closer, pressing the front of her body to the side of his.
He cleared his throat. “Flick?”
“Yes?”
“When you say you’re scared to become a wife, what are you afraid of?”
Felicity closed her eyes as her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “I’m afraid it will hurt.”
“It doesn’t have to hurt. When two people care about and trust each other, physical intimacy feels good.”
“That’s what Lucia said.”
He snorted softly. “You talked with Lucia?”
“She had bruises on her neck, and I was worried. She said they were love bites and that she liked them. I just don’t understand how those things can feel good. Only things that hurt make a bruise. Was she lying? Trying to spare me from worrying?”
He sighed, the motion lifting her on his chest and she smiled. She could hear his heartbeat, she realized, and it was getting faster.
“No. The ladies here are protected. The gentlemen know to treat them, or the wolf pack will dispose of them. What she is talking about is when a . . . partner is kissing the other partner’s neck, the light sucking can make a small bruise, but it feels good. It doesn’t hurt at all.”
Heat washed over her cheeks, her stomach fluttering. She opened her eyes and tilted her head up enough to see his chin. “You’ve done this?”
He winced. “Yes.”
“You didn’t like it?”
“No, I just don’t talk about my past romantic interests with . . . women.”
Oh, he meant her. He didn’t want to talk about it with her. “I understand.”
“Did you enjoy our kiss?” he asked.
Now both their hearts were pounding. “Yes,” she whispered. “Very much.”
“I can show you the kind of kiss Lucia was talking about. I can show you whatever you like if you want. I can help you. I want to help you overcome these fears.”
Felicity pushed herself up to look at him. “Are you certain?”
“I don’t want you to live your life in fear. I don’t want Chadwick Revere to ruin what could be a wonderful life for you. A marriage that brings you peace and comfort. I can introduce you to the many ways men and women please each other. But it is your choice. You will always be in control.”
“You’d do that for me?” she asked, flabbergasted. Licks of heat flickered across her skin. He’d kiss her again? Show her anything she wanted?
“I’d do anything for you.”
“But we, but I . . .” Felicity bit her lip. She didn’t know what to say. “It’s wrong, isn’t it? I must marry someone with enough power and privilege to protect me.”
“And I am not that someone.”
Felicity sat up and looked at him. She hadn’t intended to insult him. “That isn’t what I meant. What I mean is, I shouldn’t be lying in beds with and kissing men who can’t marry me.”
“I know. I’m just stating a fact. You need someone who can leverage their power to force your father to release your inheritance. I think we both need to understand what this is and be clear about our intentions.”
Felicity looked down at the hand he held to his stomach.
How comfortable this was. Not strange or scary at all.
She was sharing a bed with a man, their bodies touching intimately, at least for her, and all she felt was .
. . warmth, delight, an exhilarating curiosity.
She liked him. He was handsome. That was never in question, but it was more than his pretty eyes and bulging arms. He steadied something in her, whether he knew it or not.
She’d grown lonely over the years, but it wasn’t as though her village had many people her age to remind her that she wasn’t being courted or wooed like other girls.
Her father vilified temptation and lust in his sermons, but she never understood the meaning of those words.
She’d never experienced such intense feelings like what Tristan made her feel.
Chadwick had called her a cold, dried-out spinster when she refused him after the attack.
As if she should have enjoyed and wanted his violent attention.
For a while after, she’d thought he might have been right and there was something wrong with her.
And since coming here, her opinion of men hadn’t greatly improved.
Her newfound fear of men had altered everything she thought and felt.
Until Tristan.
“You’re the only one I trust to help me. You’re the only one I—” Could she be so bold? She had to be. If she wanted this to happen, she had to ask for it. “I want you to touch me. I want you to show me what’s possible. I can’t go on like this.”
He moved her hand to his heart, then to his mouth, and kissed her fingers.
“You don’t have to. I know what to do. I can keep you safe.”
“But is this something you want? You don’t have to if you don’t feel the same way.” Her voice was quiet.
He kissed her knuckles again, the feel of his mouth on her skin sent flutters to her lower belly. “What way is that? How do you feel about me?”
Felicity chewed her lip and shrugged one shoulder. She would not admit she was becoming infatuated with him. She knew it would complicate things. He might not risk helping her if he knew how she felt.
His lips curved into a smile when she didn’t respond. “Do you think I’m handsome?”
Felicity narrowed her eyes at him, her cheeks flaming. “You know you are. Don’t pretend you don’t see the women who drool after you.”
“I don’t look for that sort of attention. You didn’t answer my question. Do you think I’m handsome?”
A flush of heat washed over her body, chasing away the last of the cold. “Yes,” she whispered.
“Did you like kissing me?”
Felicity swallowed and nodded. This man knew exactly what he was doing to her. But she loved it.
“I like kissing you, Flick. I think about our kiss every waking minute. I want to touch you. I want you.”
She lost her breath. “Me? Truly?”
“I haven’t been interested in a woman while there has been so much worry weighing on me, and Mrs. Dove-Lyon leaves me little time to myself.
But then you came along, with your frilly white cap and your shy glances.
You reminded me that I’m still alive. I’m still .
. . a man.” He turned on his side. “You’re beautiful in so many ways, from your eyes to your kind words, and your endless courage. ”
“Courage? What courage?” Flick scoffed. Her heart would not slow its frantic beat after all he just said. Felicity wasn’t courageous enough to tell him how she felt.
“Courage doesn’t mean you aren’t afraid.
It means that despite your fear, you keep going.
You haven’t given up. You’re a fighter.” He raised a hand to her cheek, brushing his thumb over her bottom lip.
“Are you sure about this? You should think about it—not because I don’t want to, but because what happened tonight has upset you. You should get some rest.”
Now that she was warm and safe, exhaustion did weigh on her. He was so good. Always anticipating her needs. She would not change her mind. She wanted him, too. Her desire sank through her body, settling low in her pelvis.
“Kiss me before you go?” she asked.
His eyes smoldered. He bent his head close, his lips brushing hers and sealing over them. Felicity melted into the kiss. She’d never felt so sure of her decision. This was right, even if it broke all the rules. He was what she needed to heal.