Chapter 18 #3
He picked up a small yellow flower, broke off the stem, and tucked it behind her ear.
His mind immediately flew to another time when he’d tucked flowers behind her ear.
The day he’d taken her outside the castle walls and they’d made love on the hillside of heather.
If only he could stall time. He caressed her wan cheek with the back of his finger.
“I noticed you speaking with your uncle.”
If he hadn’t been touching her, he might not have noticed her slight flinch. “Yes.”
“He appeared to be angry with you.”
“Yes.”
Rory dropped his hand and unconsciously clenched his fists. “If he is threatening you, I will—”
She stopped him with a small hand on his arm. “It’s nothing like that.”
But something was clearly bothering her. She was hiding something from him, but what? He couldn’t help her if she continued to be evasive. “Will you not tell me, Isabel?” he asked, more gently this time.
She turned away, almost as if she didn’t want to look at him. “He merely sought assurance that our handfast would be formalized into marriage.” She paused, giving him an opportunity to speak. “Assurance I could not provide.”
He felt the sting of her accusation, but he could not argue. “Your uncle seems to take an unusual interest in our handfast.”
Her eyes flashed. “Shouldn’t he?” she challenged. “ ’Tis because of him that I am here. And isn’t it our handfast that is forestalling the feud?”
She was right, but Rory wondered if that was Sleat’s only interest. “Did you tell him?” The words knotted in his mouth, but Isabel understood.
“No. I did not tell him you intend to repudiate the handfast. He’ll find out soon enough.”
Rory hated this feeling. He wanted to be able to wipe away her hurt.
And his own. But he couldn’t, not until he had a reason to.
Instead he cupped her chin. “Your uncle is plotting something, and I do not trust him.” He hated to ask her, but it had to be said.
“I want to trust you, but you are making it difficult. Is there a reason I shouldn’t? ”
Her eyes brimmed with tears, and her voice quivered. “You can ask me that after all that we have shared? Have I not given you my body, my soul, asking nothing in return? Not even the promise of your name.”
Her words burned a hole in his chest. “I know what you have given me, Isabel. I treasure it, but I warned you how it must be. It is my duty as chief to ask,” he said gravely. “Just as it would be my duty to punish anyone who betrays me.”
“Don’t you know that I could never …” She stared at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Don’t you know?”
He didn’t. “Know what?”
His question seemed to unleash something inside her.
As if all the tension and pent-up emotion that had been simmering beneath the surface between them finally boiled over.
“Don’t you know how badly I wish that you would change your mind, how I wish that things were different, how I would love nothing more than to stay here with you forever?
How I can’t bear the thought that you intend to marry someone else—” Her voice strangled in her throat. “To share your bed with another woman.”
His chest constricted; her pain was his own. “Isabel—”
He moved toward her, but she stepped away.
“No, let me finish. You started this, now you will hear what I’ve wanted to say for some time but was too scared to for fear you would not want to hear it.
” Her shoulders were shaking, but he dared not offer her comfort.
“I’ll not hide my feelings any longer, even if it is easier to pretend they do not exist.” She took a deep breath.
“I love you, Rory MacLeod, with all my heart, and I’ll not be sorry about it. ”
He stilled, the impact of her words reverberating through him.
She loved him. And though he knew he shouldn’t be, deep inside he was happy for it.
More than happy. Her words touched a part of him he hadn’t realized existed.
Selfishly, he wanted her love. He wanted to hold on to her and claim her for his own.
But her declaration had only further complicated an already difficult situation.
Perhaps he’d known this would happen. Had wanted to protect against it.
He never should have made love with her.
Yet he could not regret it, though he did regret hurting her.
She was right, he didn’t want to have this conversation.
He wiped a tear from the corner of her eye with his thumb. “Oh, lass.”
“Have you nothing else to say?” she asked plaintively.
Something hot lodged in his chest. But what could he say? Words that would only make parting more difficult? “I am honored, though it would be better if you didn’t.”
Isabel flinched. He wanted to reach out to her, but he knew if he did, he might say something he would regret.
He knew how dangerously close he was to giving her what she wanted.
When she looked at him, heartbroken, raw emotion swimming in her violet eyes, he could almost forget his obligations. Almost.
She held his gaze for a long time, waiting for what he could not give her.
Finally, she smiled wistfully. “Easier, mayhap, but not better. I’ll never regret loving you.
” She took a deep breath, looked him right in the eye, and did not hesitate.
“In case you still are uncertain, you can trust me. I would never do anything to betray you.”
He believed her. How could he not? “Then we will say nothing more about it.”
She nodded. Rory pulled her into his arms and placed a soft kiss on her mouth, more relieved than he wanted to admit when she responded immediately.
He told her with his mouth the words he could not say.
Her arms slid around his neck as she pressed her body closer to his.
The kiss deepened as he asked silently for forgiveness for his question.
Forgiveness that she bestowed with the sweet caress of her mouth and tongue.
His breath was ragged when he finally pulled away. “We will not let Sleat cast his dark shadow across our day. Aye?”
“Aye,” she agreed.
He smiled. “Then let us return to our guests. The MacLeods have some contests to win.”
Though he’d spoken lightly, the yoke of duty weighed on him heavily.
Never had he regretted more the burden of being chief.
A marriage alliance was the only way to ensure the return of Trotternish to the MacLeods.
A marriage alliance … The kernel of an idea took hold.
His mind raced with possibilities. But it would require some thought.
He tucked her under his arm, placed a tender kiss on her head, and led her back toward the gathering, her words of love etched forever on his heart.