Chapter 13 #3
If only she could discover what it was that was preventing Alex from stepping forward. Then he would be free to marry her.
“Is everything all right, Meg?” Elizabeth asked. “You seem distracted.”
Meg managed a feeble smile. “I’m fine, just a bit tired,” she said. My heart is breaking. “I think I’ll fetch us a couple of glasses of claret.”
“I can go with you,” Jamie offered.
But Meg had already moved away. “I’ll be right back.” She wanted a moment alone to clear her head. She knew her mother, Elizabeth, and Jamie were all concerned about her after what had happened.
It was still hard to believe that someone, a trusted captain of her father’s guard no less, had been trying to kill her. Her mother had fainted upon finding out what her daughter had narrowly avoided and later sent a letter to Meg’s father with the news of Thomas Mackinnon’s treachery.
Meg shuddered to think what would have happened without Alex there.
Twice now, he’d ridden to her rescue. The attacks on her life had made Meg realize that no matter how hard she tried, there were some things she simply could not do.
Defending herself against half a score of warriors bent on killing her was one.
But she also realized how ill equipped she’d been to recognize the danger.
With his experience, Alex had identified the possible threat well before Meg even realized there was one.
An invaluable skill for a Highland chief—or rather a trusted adviser to a Highland chief.
For a woman who’d been dependent upon herself for so long, it was startling to realize how much she liked the idea of Alex protecting her.
Alex seemed to have an acute awareness of everything around him. The prototypical warrior. Self-contained. Self-possessed. He didn’t need anyone.
She felt a lump in her chest. He didn’t need me.
As much as she’d grown dependent on him, it had become patently obvious that the reverse was not true.
She made her way toward the refreshment table but was forced to stop a few times along the way to exchange greetings. She’d finally reached her destination only to duck behind a column at the last minute to avoid Bianca Gordon. She was the last person Meg wanted to see right now.
Bianca had made it well-known this last week that if Alex was looking for a wife, he need look no further than the Marquess of Huntly’s very willing daughter.
Meg frowned, recalling that Alex had been playing cards with Huntly tonight.
It seemed an odd pairing. And not the first time Meg had noticed Alex with some unusual companions.
It was probably nothing. Alex would certainly never be interested in Bianca Gordon.
Although excessively unpleasant, Bianca was undeniably beautiful.
But Meg recognized the impatience hiding beneath Alex’s smile whenever he was waylaid by Bianca.
Bianca must have sensed it, too, because she took whatever opportunity she could to question Meg about her relationship with Alex.
Questions that Meg couldn’t answer, even if she wanted to.
Standing to one side of the column, she was tucked neatly from sight of the occupants in the room without seeming to be hiding.
Only the broad skirts of her gown gave her away.
But ironically, since Rosalind had chosen a cream gown embroidered with delicate gold threads that happened to match the décor of the room, Meg didn’t stick out too much.
Good thing her mother had forbidden her to wear the orange gown again.
There was something of the ridiculous in a grown woman having her mother pick out her clothes, but Meg had to admit that Rosalind had a flair for color and style Meg could never hope to emulate.
The derisive snort of her own name drew Meg’s attention to Bianca’s conversation. She hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but surely the pierce of that woman’s voice could be heard clear across Scotland.
“Of course he’s not interested in Meg Mackinnon,” Bianca scoffed, and followed with a tinkle of pretty laughter.
“As if the most handsome man at court could really be interested in someone like her. She’s plain, far too serious, too learned by half, and she says the oddest things every time she opens her mouth. No maidenly modesty at all.”
Her chest squeezed, surprised by how much it hurt to be dismissed so easily. But it wasn’t the truth. Alex cared for her. She knew he did. She might not understand why he was holding himself back, but she knew that he was.
One of Bianca’s companions spoke. “But he certainly seems to have singled Meg out for his attentions. I agree that it does seem an unlikely match, but you must admit that Meg’s appearance has improved over the last few weeks.”
“There wasn’t much room for anything else.
” They all laughed. Meg’s chest squeezed with each cruel giggle.
“Even so, she can hardly be called a true beauty by any standards. Meg is merely a pale imitation of her mother. Mark my words, Alex MacLeod could have any woman at court. If he marries Meg Mackinnon, there is another reason.”
Perhaps Bianca’s cattiness might not have hurt so much if Meg hadn’t thought the same thing many times herself.
Intellectually, she knew that she had many other things to offer other than her appearance, but for a short while—in Alex’s eyes—she’d felt beautiful.
But Bianca effectively pierced the bubble of Meg’s newfound confidence.
She cringed when she thought of how much she’d enjoyed the improvement in her appearance over the last fortnight.
Bianca was right, Meg would never compare with her mother—even with her help.
But Bianca’s next words were not so easily dismissed.
“No doubt he’s after her land. Her brother is an imbecile after all.
” Meg clenched her fists, her nails biting into her palms. She knew nothing about Ian.
“If he can hold it, Alex would be the virtual chief of the Mackinnon lands at her father’s death.
I know some men who would marry a horse for less. ”
Meg’s cheeks burned at the cruel comparison. You have more land than I do, Meg wanted to shout after Bianca as she flounced away, her puffy skirts crinkling along the way. Why isn’t he chasing after you if that is all he wants?
Meg’s heart pounded, hearing her darkest fears being bandied about court by the likes of Bianca and her friends. It hurt, quite a lot. Even knowing there was no truth to what Bianca said.
Alex wasn’t Ewen or Thomas Mackinnon. He didn’t want to marry her. He could have compromised her and forced her to marry him, but the fact that he stopped proved the honorable man he was. He wasn’t after her land.
But Bianca’s snide remarks posed a darker question, one that she thought she’d resolved.
She shook with the wave of sudden self-doubt.
Alex would never be the type of man to wrest control from her brother.
He was ambitious and a natural leader, but he was no opportunist. He was honorable.
Loyal. She knew it, despite what he wanted others to believe.
But had she just convinced herself of this because she loved him? Had emotions blinded her to the truth of his character?
No. Don’t let that silly woman get to you, Meg, she told herself.
She couldn’t be that wrong.