Chapter 14 #2
Alex brushed the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand.
But it was useless, he was drenched. The heat clung to him like a wet plaid.
After a long day in the saddle, he was hot, tired, and in desperate need of a good dunking.
The scorching summer sun crested high in the clear blue sky, reminding him of the last time he’d gone riding.
In deference to that day, a handful of Rory’s fiercest warriors trailed close behind them.
With Dougal MacDonald thirsting for blood, they were taking no chances.
“You don’t have to do this, you know,” Rory said, breaking the silence.
Alex snapped his head around in surprise. That wasn’t what he’d expected to hear. His gaze narrowed as he assessed his brother, not sure how to react.
Alex knew exactly what “this” meant—leave for Lewis. What he didn’t know was why Rory would suggest that Alex abandon his plan to join the fight with their kin.
“Of course I do.” If Alex’s voice sounded sharper than necessary, it was because he wanted to make sure Rory understood just how important this was to him.
“I’m not questioning your fighting skills,” Rory said, knowing that was precisely the conclusion Alex had jumped to.
A wide grin spread across his deeply tanned face.
“I haven’t forgotten the dunking I took on the lists a few years ago.
” He rubbed his shoulder. “Or the soreness of my muscles afterward.”
Alex smiled, remembering their invigorating battle and Isabel’s effective way of putting a stop to it. He’d had a few aches of his own.
Rory’s hard blue eyes met his own. “You’ve changed in the last month, Alex. And I’m glad of it. I wondered whether you’d ever settle down long enough to fall in—”
“There’s nothing—”
“Don’t bother denying it.” Rory lifted his hand from the reins, staving off Alex’s denial. “You forget, I’ve been there myself.”
Alex clamped his mouth shut. Rory was wrong, but there was no point in arguing with him.
“In fact, I think it’s an excellent match and a golden opportunity for you. I wouldn’t blame you if you were tempted to take it. You’ve risked enough here already. Our cousin Douglas can go to Lewis in your stead.”
Alex could tell from Rory’s voice that he was not convinced.
They both knew that although Douglas was a strong warrior, Alex was the only one with the skills and experience necessary to help their kin—other than Rory himself.
But because he was chief, there could be no question of his going.
“You know as well as I do that I must go,” Alex said.
“I’m needed on Lewis. I want to finish what I started. ”
Rory’s gaze intensified, but Alex didn’t flinch. His fearsome brother hadn’t been able to intimidate him in a long time. They’d been through too much together. But Rory’s continued scrutiny was uncomfortable all the same.
After a moment, Rory reached a decision. “You weren’t to blame, Alex,” he said gently, broaching the forbidden subject.
Alex flinched. His brother understood him better than anyone.
Rory knew well why he pushed himself so hard.
He turned away, focusing his attention on the rugged terrain of the grassy moors and rocky crags that surrounded them.
Soon, the gray stone walls of the palace would come into view.
Holyrood. What was once a guesthouse for the old Abbey of the Holy Rood, where a miraculous cross had appeared to King David I, was now a royal bastion of greed and deception.
“It could have happened to anyone, Alex. No one blames you.”
The bloody image of his murdered cousins flashed through his mind. “But I do,” he said to himself, hoping his voice was drowned out by the steady pounding of the horses. But Rory had the hearing of a hawk.
“There was nothing you could have done. There was nothing anyone could have done. Dougal MacDonald is a bloodthirsty cur, he was looking for any excuse to kill them. Getting yourself killed on Lewis won’t bring them back.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” Alex said tightly.
“I just don’t want you to make the same mistake I did. I almost lost Isabel for the sake of revenge.”
The raw emotion in Rory’s voice took the edge off Alex’s anger.
He remembered that long week a few years ago when Rory thought Isabel had betrayed him.
He’d never seen his seemingly invincible brother suffer like that before and probably never would again.
Rory and Isabel were more in love than he ever thought two people could be.
He understood what had brought this unexpected halfhearted offer from his brother. Rory didn’t want to be the one to force his brother to choose between love and duty.
“It’s not the same,” Alex said.
Rory lifted an eyebrow sardonically. “It’s not?”
Alex shook his head. “No, I’m not the right man for her.
” His brother was aware of the Mackinnon’s recent troubles, but Alex filled him in on the rest. “I won’t put her in any more danger, and I can’t be the man she needs to help her clan right now.
I know how important it is to her to do the right thing by her clan.
I won’t ask her to sacrifice that for me.
She’s driven herself so hard over the past few years, I won’t be the cause of her failure. ”
Rory gave him a wry smile. “Driven? Sounds like someone I know.”
His brother’s observation took him aback. “Perhaps,” Alex admitted ruefully. They were alike in that.
“You’re not being fair to yourself or the lass. Shouldn’t she make that decision for herself?”
“That’s not an option. Meg knows nothing about our plans.” Alex deflected his brother’s impending interruption. “And before you say anything, I have my reasons for not telling her. She’s close to the Campbells, and if Argyll gets wind of this …”
All vestiges of humor vanished from Rory’s face.
“It could be disastrous. Argyll works for no one but himself. He’s highly unpredictable, and if he decides it’s in his best interests to inform King James of our plans, warding off the Fife Adventurers will be a much more difficult proposition—if not a losing one.
Right now all we have is the element of surprise on our side. ”
“And we can’t lose it,” Alex finished for him.
“I don’t believe that Meg would betray us intentionally, but I will not take the chance that she lets something slip accidentally.
And it’s not just Argyll that holds me back from confiding in her.
Knowledge of our plans and an attachment to me could put Meg in danger.
I won’t risk her safety.” Alex held his brother’s gaze.
“I appreciate what you are trying to do, but it’s not necessary.
I know well what I risk, but it can’t be helped. ”
Rory looked visibly relieved. “I’m sorry there isn’t another way to resolve things with the lass, but I trust your judgment.
Our kin need our help, and there is no one I’d rather send in my stead.
You’ll leave tomorrow night. There will be a boat ready to depart that can take you to Lewis.
I’ll take care of the MacDonalds, but the rest will be up to you. ”
“I won’t let you down.”
Rory turned to him and gave him a long look. “I never thought that you would, little brother.”