Chapter 19
Meg dashed to the window and peered down into the small barmkin above the sea-gate. She could just make out the figure of a man climbing swiftly up the stairs. He was certainly tall and broad-shouldered enough.…
Yet somehow she knew it wasn’t Alex. Her heart plummeted as if someone had yanked a chain, forcibly bringing her hopes back to reality. Of course it was too soon—Alex was still fighting on Lewis.
She watched as the man jostled his way through the swarm of Mackinnon clansmen training in the court yard. But even though he was partially concealed by the crowd, she easily made out the thick auburn hair of the new arrival.
“Who is it, Meg?” Rosalind asked, the excitement in her voice evidence that she, too, hoped for another.
“ ’Tis Jamie,” Meg responded brightly, trying to cover her disappointment.
Her father lifted a bushy gray brow. “Seems that decision might be pressed upon you sooner than you expected, daughter.”
Meg steeled herself for Jamie’s reaction, not sure what to expect. He’d changed in the past few weeks. He seemed older. Harder. “I’m sorry you had to travel all this way, Jamie, but I can’t marry you.”
His back stiffened, and his mouth drew into a tight line. “I’m afraid I don’t understand. I thought you would welcome my offer.”
He was angry and not a little surprised.
In truth, she’d surprised herself. This was the second time that she had decided to marry Jamie and then changed her mind.
Soon she’d have to add fickle to her ever growing list of character flaws.
But she couldn’t marry him, not when she didn’t love him.
And Elizabeth was right, Jamie deserved someone who did.
Judging from his reaction, however, Meg suspected she’d hurt his pride more than his heart.
“I do,” she assured him. “I appreciate it more than I can say. Marrying you would solve all my problems, but it wouldn’t be fair to you.”
“Fair to me.” He combed his fingers through his hair, searching for an explanation, looking at her as if she were half-crazed.
Perhaps she was. Jamie Campbell was not a man any woman would turn down lightly.
But he was not the man for her. His eyes widened.
“Good God, you’re not with child, are you? ”
Meg colored to her roots. She looked around the hall, relieved to see that they were still alone. “No …” Her voice faltered. “There isn’t a child.” Though she knew it was ridiculous, Meg felt a twinge of regret.
Jamie must have heard something in her voice, because his anger seemed to dissipate. His eyes raked her face. “Then why?” he asked gently.
She took a deep breath. He deserved the truth. “You are a dear friend, Jamie, but I don’t love you, not the way you deserve to be loved, at least.” She put her hand on his arm. “And I don’t think you love me. Not the way I deserve to be loved.”
“But—”
She stopped him. “I’m in love with Alex.”
His eyes hardened. “But I thought you broke the engagement.”
“I did.”
“Then I don’t understand.”
Meg smiled wryly. “I’m not sure I do, either.
” How could she explain it to Jamie, when she couldn’t explain it to herself?
But if there was a chance that the conversation she’d overheard with Lord Huntly had not been true, she had to find out whether there was still a chance for them.
Even if it meant waiting for his return.
“I broke the engagement because I overheard Alex talking about marrying me as an opportunity to become chief someday. But I don’t think it was true.
I think he wanted me to think the worst of him. ”
“To protect you,” Jamie finished for her. At her look of surprise, he added, “I’m aware of Alex’s involvement on the Isle of Lewis, Meg.”
So the “secret” was out. She supposed Alex had Dougal MacDonald to thank for that. “So if you know what Alex is doing, you can understand why he might want to shield me from a connection with him.”
“Yes.” Jamie didn’t look surprised at all.
In fact, he looked as though he knew more than he was letting on.
“I wondered how he’d done it,” he murmured, almost to himself.
At Meg’s questioning look, he explained, “I wondered how he’d gotten you to break the engagement so quickly.
Alex knew of my intention to propose to you. ”
Meg’s heart soared. “He did?” It made her even more positive that Alex had been trying to drive her away. And she suspected that Jamie knew that as well. “What part did you play in all of this, Jamie?”
“None,” he said flatly. “Other than to tell him that I thought you should have a choice in which proposal you accepted.”
Her moment of elation faded. “Which he apparently decided not to give me.”
Jamie gave her a long look. “He must really care for you to do something that he knew would make you hate him.”
“Then why didn’t he trust me with the truth and let me decide?”
A corner of his mouth lifted in a half-smile. “Perhaps because he knew you well enough to know that if you knew the truth, you would not walk away. You can be rather tenacious when you want something, Meg.”
“So I’ve been told,” she said ruefully. “But I still will have a word for him when he returns.”
“That might not be for some time, Meg. And you must know that there is a very good chance that he will not be coming back.”
Something in his tone sent a chill of alarm running through her. “What do you mean?”
“Even if the MacLeods of Lewis are successful in repelling the Fife Adventurers from the Isle, Lord Chancellor Seton’s men know about Alex’s involvement.”
That wasn’t all. Jamie was hiding something. She clutched his arm in earnest. “What else?”
He didn’t answer right away. The depth of his struggle played out in the conflicting emotions crossing his face. Finally, he seemed to decide. “I only want you to be happy, Meg. Are you sure this is what you want?”
Meg nodded. “Please, Jamie, if you know something, you must tell me. I know you are angry with Alex, but you were friends once. I can’t believe you’d stand aside and allow something to happen to him, not if you could prevent it.”
“If it meant you would reconsider, I just might. Alex is fortunate indeed to have such a staunch defender.” He paused, his eyes searching her face.
“Very well, I’ll tell you what I know. But for your sake, not his.
” He held her gaze. “One of the men fighting with Alex on Lewis has been ordered to eliminate both Alex and his cousin Neil.”
“Dougal MacDonald?”
Jamie nodded, not surprised that she’d guessed the betrayer.
“But surely Alex knows of the threat from him and will be watching him carefully?”
“Yes, but Dougal knows he’s been compromised.
He’s no longer pretending to take orders from the MacLeods.
And he will have help. The next shipment will not just be supplies, as Alex thinks, but men.
Fighting men. When Alex and his men are lured out to the shipment, Dougal and his men will close in from behind. ”
Meg blanched. Alex would be walking into a trap.
“Don’t worry,” Jamie said. “The next shipment is not until next week. There is plenty of time to get a message to him.”
Meg shook her head, feeling the panic well inside her. “No. The report with the next shipment arrived last night. The shipment is supposed to arrive two nights hence.”
“Damn!” Jamie swore angrily. “They must have decided to move it up.”
Meg’s mind was racing, her fear for Alex making it difficult for her to form a coherent thought. All she could think about was the trap he was walking into. She’d seen him fight, knew how skilled he was, but she also knew he’d die before he surrendered to Dougal. “I have to warn him.”
“You can’t. The king has issued a proclamation forbidding all Highlanders from traveling to Lewis. Besides, it’s far too dangerous, your father will never let you go.”
Jamie was right. But what choice did she have?
She could tell her father, and he would send one of his men.
But could she trust something so important to someone else?
Meg knew the real reason. She desperately wanted—no, needed—to see him.
To discover for herself whether there was a chance for them.
“I’ve made the short trip to Lewis many times. I’ll be back before my father even knows I’m gone.”
“I can’t let you do that.”
Meg gave him a hard, assessing stare. At that moment, he looked every bit as stubborn as Alex. “It’s not your decision to make.”
“Did you ever think that Alex might not want you there, might not appreciate your help?”
“What do you suggest? That I just leave him there to die? I’ll warn him of the plot and return to Dunakin immediately. You’re acting as if I’ll be the only woman on the Isle.”
“You’re heading into a damn battle, Meg.”
She took another look at his inflexible expression. “Please, Jamie, I need to do this. I have to see him. If it will make you feel better, I’ll tell my mother where I’m going. She’ll understand.”
Jamie didn’t look so sure. “Very well, if your mother agrees, I won’t say anything to your father.”
“Oh, Jamie, thank—”
“Don’t thank me,” he interrupted. “I’m going with you.”
“That’s not necessary—”
“Yes, it is. I can protect you. I should have guessed you would insist on going yourself. I’d go alone, but Alex wouldn’t believe me.”
Meg tilted her head to one side to study him.
His body tense, his mouth clamped in a hard line.
Consumed by her fear for Alex, she’d only just realized that by asking him what the king’s men had planned, she’d put him in an untenable position.
Jamie was obviously in the confidence of the king’s men.
And since he was loyal to his cousin, she could assume that at least nominally, the ever wily Argyll was involved with the Fife Adventurers’ efforts to colonize Lewis.
But Jamie was also a Highlander. And as such, the idea of Lowlanders stealing Highland land must be repugnant to him.
“Whose side are you on, Jamie Campbell?”
She didn’t expect him to answer, but he did.
“Both.”