Chapter Fourteen #2
My balls tightened when I filled Amelia completely. I groaned as pleasure erupted through me.
I closed my eyes and put my forehead against Amelia’s shoulder blade as I released deep inside her.
She was still under my body except for a very gentle tremor.
Her eyes were filled with lust and worse, with affection.
Why couldn’t she give me hatred? Her fury was a fleeting thing, always gone before I could feast on it. I pulled out, hating her wince.
I wanted to hurt her, but I couldn’t bear seeing her hurt.
I gripped a new washcloth and cleaned between her legs, wishing the sight of her swollen flesh and blood would give me satisfaction.
After I cleaned myself, I tossed the cloth away and lifted her in my arms. She watched me with half-lidded eyes as I carried her over to the bed we’d share and put her down.
She looked magnificent against the black silk, her red hair and milky skin a stark contrast to the fabric’s dark hue.
“I fear you more than I ever feared your father. I fear you for the power you hold over me. More power than he ever had over me. And what I loathe is how you don’t even realize it.
You wield your power with cruel ignorance, splintering my heart without a second thought,” I seethed, overcome with familiar rage.
She simply looked too perfect. Why did my heart continue to splinter at the mere sight of her?
When my despair had become too potent after Amelia’s disappearance, I’d reached for the rage slowly building inside me. It had been comforting and easier to bear than sadness and the brutal feeling of betrayal.
Amelia shook her head with a look of sadness. She still didn’t understand what she had done to me.
“You were focused on your rise to power, on revenge. I didn’t think you’d be this devastated.”
“Liar.”
She swallowed, tears filling her eyes. Despite my fury, despite my wish to destroy her as easily as she had almost ruined me, her tears still wrecked me. I hated her even for that.
“I thought the part of you who cared about me was gone. You seemed gone.”
“I needed you to remind me who I was. I needed you to help me hold on to what was left of me. But you didn’t even try.”
“I didn’t think you wanted me to. You wanted to rage and destroy, to slaughter and torture. You craved the darkness.”
“I didn’t then. I do now. In the past, I hoped you’d lead me back into the light, but now I’ll drag you into the dark with me.”
The saddest smile I’d ever seen on her face tugged at her lips. “I’ll try to be your anchor.”
My pulse picked up. I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. I stretched out on the bed, leaving an arm’s length between us. I still often slept on the floor, but now that Amelia was my wife, I wanted to share a bed with her.
Amelia rolled over on her side until she faced me.
The accusation I waited for didn’t come.
She watched me silently. I shifted, trying to get comfortable on the soft mattress and with Amelia’s unwavering attention.
In the past, we’d understood each other with a mere look, but she’d destroyed it by running.
I wanted the familiarity back, even if it meant she could ruin me even worse.
The hand with my ring lay flat against the silky linen. I rolled over on my side, feeling a deep longing I could hardly bear. Amelia inched her hand closer to me. I swallowed hard. This woman was too powerful.
My enemies cowered before me, and my soldiers feared and respected me. Even my own Capo regarded me like a dangerous animal he might have to put down one day, but Amelia wanted to see the good.
I slid my hand over to her until my fingers covered hers. She closed her eyes. I allowed my gaze to travel the curve of her body, lingering on her bruised hip bones and red inner thighs. Leaning up on my elbow, I gripped the blanket and covered her up to her shoulders.
She tilted her head, her brows furrowing.
“Sleep,” I urged, then turned off the lights. I didn’t have drapes on the windows. I’d spent years without a single view of the night sky. I didn’t want to be deprived of it ever again.
Outside, the music and laughter lingered as our guests celebrated without us. As Underboss, I had to provide a feast for my wedding, but no one expected me to be present. They were probably glad I stayed away.
“Do you still have nightmares?” Amelia asked softly.
I chuckled low in my throat. “Of course. But unlike in the past, now when I wake, the nightmare will be over.”
“The past can’t rest until he does,” she whispered. She didn’t have to say who she meant.
My stomach clenched violently. I ripped my hand away from hers. “He won’t get to rest. I’m not done with him.”
“Will you ever be?”
It was a question I didn’t have an answer to.
I gritted my teeth. I shoved into a sitting position, then stood. “I need fresh air. You stay in this room.”
Amelia didn’t protest. I threw on my fur coat and slipped on black boxers before leaving the room and locking the door. I didn’t yet trust Amelia, nor did I trust my guests.
Once out in the hallway, I sucked in a deep breath, trying to rid myself of Amelia’s potent scent and her grip on me.
When I felt more like the man I had become, I moved downstairs, then out through the patio doors in the ballroom.
A wide alabaster staircase led from the elevated patio down into the gardens, where white tents had been set up for the party.
Servers carried drinks and food around, and a band played.
I stayed in the half dark behind the tents, watching the silhouettes of dancing people as I breathed in the evening air.
“Shouldn’t you be enjoying your wife?” a deep voice said from the shadows behind me. Tension filled my body, as it always did in the presence of others, except for Amelia.
I turned around to Remo, who stepped out of the dark. He scanned me, his eyebrows darting up at my attire, before he met my gaze, seeing things nobody else could. He and I weren’t so different in many regards. He, too, cared for someone more than himself: his brothers.
“I did,” I said. My body filled with triumph and heat at the memory.
Remo smiled twistedly. “Was she worth it? Worth the wait? Worth all the time and effort?”
“Tonight was worth it, yes,” I said. I couldn’t explain to my Capo how Amelia’s mere presence and not the claiming of her body made all the pain of her search worth it.
Remo wouldn’t understand. For Remo, women were good for only two things: pleasure and business.
And while I had every intention of enjoying Amelia’s body as much as possible and claiming more of the firsts that she had promised me, it was only a small part of what I wanted from her.
The physical aspect was safer and easier.
Remo pushed his hands into his pockets, tilting his head to the side. “We have many tasks ahead of us. The Camorra needs you. I’m all for earning our soldiers’ respect, but others need to fear us like the devil, and you, Nestore, are evil incarnate in many eyes.” He chuckled. “Don’t go soft on me.”
I stared up at the night sky, marveling at its beauty, at its vastness. “The only soft thing about me is Amelia. She’s all that’s left of my humanity.”
“She’s your weakness, one our enemies will target.”
“I’ll tear them all apart limb by limb,” I snarled, rage turning my vision dark at the edges.
Remo smirked. “We should schedule your next cage fight to remind people what you are.”
“If they need reminding, I’ll remind them,” I muttered.
“Very good.” Remo scanned the tents. “I feel like spilling my cum down a throat.”
“I can recommend our club, the Medusa,” I said. “The girls there are very skilled.”
“I’ll look for Fabiano. He’ll want to join me. What about you?”
“I’m married.”
“That’s hardly an argument.” He shrugged, then moved closer, narrowing his eyes at me. “From what I hear, you never used our girls even before marriage, am I right, Nestore?”
I returned his gaze but didn’t answer. “I don’t see how this is relevant.”
“It’s relevant to my evaluation of your wife and how much protection she needs to ensure we won’t lose you.”
“I’m loyal to you and the Camorra.”
“That’s not what I mean, but I know your loyalty has its limits, and that limit is Amelia’s safety.”
I stiffened.
“No worries, Nestore. Amelia will be safe. Your story allows me to tolerate your divided loyalty.”
“I’m grateful for what you’ve done, Remo. You have my loyalty. I will lay my life down for you and the Camorra. You have my word on that.”
“But you wouldn’t hesitate to kill me if I made a move on your precious Amelia,” he said, his gaze moving to where the window of our bedroom was. “That’s not what I call unwavering loyalty.”
A growl built in my throat. Remo was a formidable opponent. I had seen him in the cage. My chances weren’t good. But madness and my love for Amelia were on my side.
Remo clamped a hand down on my shoulder. I froze. He usually didn’t touch me. Nobody was allowed to—except Amelia.
“Nino tells me I have a soft spot for you,” he murmured, his dark eyes locking on mine. He released me. “I suppose I do because I’ll give you slack for it.”
He turned his back on me and disappeared from view.
I exhaled. After my conversation with Remo, I felt the utter need to return to Amelia.
When I stepped into our bedroom, her even breathing greeted me.
I closed the door and listened to her sleep for a few moments.
The moonlight caught on her pale arm and red curls.
I approached her slowly, then sank down on the edge of the bed.
Seeing her peaceful sleeping form, I wished I had a way to keep the nightmares at bay. I couldn’t imagine her not having them. I wasn’t na?ve enough to believe I wouldn’t feature in some of them.