14. Pavel
Pavel
T he wind had picked up, chilling the air and raking the branches of the old maple tree across the black tar shingles of the Bayonne mansion’s roof.
Not that the cold bothered Pavel, especially in his gargoyle form.
The chalky, floral flavor of pollen hit his tongue as the breeze circulated the grainy evidence of weather change through the air.
He sat on the peak of the house across the street, peering down through the windows at the witches’ dwelling.
He’d tried his damndest to stay away. He certainly hadn’t wanted to go to New Jersey. Who would want to go to New Jersey? But here he was, lurking by the Bayonne Circle’s base of operations like a puppy who’d been tossed outside for peeing on the floor.
It was pathetic.
Pavel was not used to acting like this. He’d led a solitary life for centuries, and even now, living in a bustling city, he kept to himself. Weakness was not an attractive trait, especially not in a gargoyle. Gargoyles were made to watch and to protect.
Which he guessed he was doing, despite the fact his so-called mates had no idea he was there.
Why was he here? The house was protected. Gargoyles weren’t witches, they couldn’t interact with spirits in that way, but they were magical creatures at their core. He could sense the defenses, itching behind his eyes whenever he stared at the house too long.
Sebastian and Justin didn’t need a bodyguard. They were safe. But the ache in Pavel’s chest hadn’t let up since he’d left them at the Grosvenor covenhouse. It burned deep in his sternum, and it would not be calmed until he had the two in his sights. Which he now did.
On the second floor, his two mates stood awkwardly in what had to be Sebastian’s childhood bedroom.
The moody drawings and horror movie posters plastering the walls were a goth teenager’s dream, and in place of typical curtains were roughly cut drapes of black lace.
A sweet warmth spread in his gut as he imagined the pouty, angsty teen Sebastian sequestering himself away in there.
Vampires weren’t the only ones with supernatural senses.
Gargoyles were gifted with those talents as well, although their strongest was hearing rather than scent.
Which meant Pavel knew everything they were saying.
No matter how much he knew he shouldn’t, no matter how guilty he felt about it, he couldn’t stop himself from eavesdropping.
Justin stood in the door, his short, slim body framed by stained cedar. He was frozen, stuck in indecision. Sebastian was the opposite, bouncing on his heels as he spit out words a mile a minute .
“There isn’t a guest room here, and all the empty bedrooms other than mine have protections keyed to the witches typically staying there.
In the morning, I’ll introduce you to the ones that are here right now.
Delia, Susannah, Neve, and I think maybe Janelle and Tristan have come in since the attack.
So this is the only place in the house for you to stay, but I can sleep on the couch if you want, I don’t mind?—”
Pavel gasped, the cold air invading his lungs as Justin lunged forward to kiss Sebastian, vaulting up on his tiptoes to reach the witch’s lips. Sebastian’s eyes widened at the sudden assault, but after a moment of shock, he wrapped his arms around Justin and deepened the kiss.
Justin moaned, and a fire lit on Pavel’s skin, tingling and burning as it ran up and down his body. He wanted to be there. He wanted to be next. He wanted to taste his men.
What was wrong with him? These weren’t his men! His whole goal was to extricate himself from this, to let them find happiness without him. Once he was gone, they could have a rich and fulfilling life. He would only bring them pain.
Justin’s hands were up inside Sebastian’s t-shirt now, finding the witch’s back, rubbing as they kissed. Putting his hands on Justin’s shoulders, Sebastian broke the kiss and separated the two of them.
The hole in Pavel’s chest deepened at the sight. No. Keep kissing.
“I…I don’t want to go any further, Justin.” Sebastian’s right index finger found one of Justin’s blonde curls, wrapping the lock of hair around itself. “Pavel should be here.”
For a moment, Justin seemed like he might argue, but he nodded instead .
“The first time should be all three of us. I wish he were here. I can feel the pull toward him, you know?”
“Me too.” Sebastian’s lips curled into a slight smirk, and his eyes flitted to the window.
Wait. Did the witch know he was here? The night was dark, and he was well-hidden by the leaves of the old maple.
Part of Pavel wanted to stop all this, shift back into his human form, and knock on the front gate of the old house. But he couldn’t. He’d made his decision. He wouldn’t burden his mates with the last, sad years of his life.
Why didn’t they keep kissing? He’d been clear with them. He couldn’t be their mate. They should complete the bond without him.
“He’s going to take some convincing,” Sebastian said, grabbing Justin’s hand and sitting them both down on the bed. “He’s got something in his head, like he’s too old or something.”
Justin leaned against the tall witch, closing his eyes and resting his head on Sebastian’s chest.
“I know. He’s the most stubborn of the three of us. But he makes so much sense as our mate. He’s protective and wise, and he’s lived through so much. You bring the unpredictability. You’ll keep us on our toes.”
Sebastian nodded but didn’t say anything. After a silent moment, Justin continued, his voice a soft whisper now.
“I don’t know how I fit in. I know we’re fated, but…I don’t fight. I don’t know stuff. I literally just got a job. You both deserve more.”
Pavel felt like he’d been kicked in the gut. Justin’s words knocked the wind out of him. How could this perfect man think that ?
“Shh.” Sebastian wrapped a tight arm around Justin’s shoulder. “That’s not true.”
“What? What do I have to give?”
“Your strength, my sweet.”
The strangled sound that issued from Justin’s throat made Pavel want to burn down the world.
“That’s not true,” Justin said after a second. “I’m not strong. Everything that’s gone wrong in my life has been because I’m so weak.”
Sebastian tightened his hug, and Justin squeezed his arms around Sebastian’s waist in return.
“You made some questionable decisions, maybe, but you did what you thought was best. You survived. More than that. You get up in the morning and smile at every singer as they walk past your desk. You laugh at Yasmin and your giggles echo down the halls. You found a new start. A weaker person wouldn’t have. ”
There was silence then, and Pavel strained to hear what was happening. For a long time, all he could hear was the wind whipping by him on the roof. Then he caught the sound of a whimper.
Justin was crying.
The maw of hell opened up beneath Pavel, the heat rising and filling him with rage and desperation and need.
The sound of Justin’s tears eviscerated Pavel’s heart, and at that moment, he would have done anything in the world to stop it.
He would have gladly sacrificed himself so Justin would not have to experience that pain.
But he was powerless.
What could he do? Going to them, getting closer to those two, would only lead to more tears.
No. This was bad enough. He couldn’t bear it if he were the cause of Justin’s tears.
Better he stay separate. Even if he couldn’t bear to leave Sebastian and Justin alone and unprotected, he would stay silent.
No danger would touch them under his watch.
Then something changed between his two mates. Justin pulled back and stared deep into Sebastian’s eyes.
“Thank you.” Justin wore a crooked smile now, his tears drying on his cheeks.
Sebastian reached up to stroke Justin’s cheek with his thumb.
“You were leaking. I didn’t know vampires had so much water left in them. Aren’t you all dehydrated husks?”
Justin smiled up at Sebastian. “I can’t wait until we can convince our gargoyle to join us.”
Sebastian chuckled at Justin’s words, then leaned in to whisper into Justin’s ear.
“I bet he’s watching us right now.”
Pavel lost his balance, almost tumbling down the steep roof to the sidewalk below. He set himself aright with a few flaps of his wings.
Sebastian wasn’t done. He kept whispering, and Justin squirmed at his words. The vampire was so beautiful when he was on the edge of losing control.
Pavel was desperate to touch him, and he was approaching the breaking point. He was growing warm, so warm, which made no sense. A creature of stone shouldn’t be affected like this.
“Do you think he would fuck you while you sucked my dick?” Sebastian asked. “Do you want to be spit-roasted, my little bloodsucker?”
And with that, Pavel lost his balance for good.